Transcript: Twister (1996)
Transcript of 70mm’s Twister (1996) Episode.
SLIM Hey, it’s your old pal Slim and this is 70mm, a podcast for film lovers. Every Monday I’m joined by famous artist, Danny Haas.
DANNY [Danny wheeze/laughs] Ohhhh my gosh.
SLIM And spiritual advisor, Protolexus.
PROTO Every tornado scene consisted of two elements. First, them driving towards it, ‘We have to get closer! We have to get closer!’ And then them saying ‘We’re too close! We’re too close! We have to get out!’
SLIM And together as friends for ever, we discuss recently watch movies. Later in this episode, we’re talking about Danny’s pick for the month, Twister, starring Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton from 1996. Is this the most realistic disaster movie ever made? Or will we finally see through the fog of nostalgia? Let’s find out… now.
[70mm theme ramps up, plays alone, fades out]
SLIM Danny sent a — I’m going to reveal a DM right now. Full on —
DANNY Oh gosh, this is —
SLIM DM conversation.
DANNY This is illegal.
SLIM It might be. I might check the by laws.
PROTO It’s time.
SLIM But Danny said something in a DM chain that he was watching a movie or maybe this is in the Discord itself. I can’t remember.
DANNY I said on the show last week, Slim! God!
SLIM That he was watching a movie that he’s going to be adding to his top four Letterboxd favorites. He was, something was going to be jettisoned. He hasn’t logged it yet on Letterboxd as far as I know. But are you ready to reveal what movie this was? And if it is confirmed that it’s now in your top four?
PROTO Reveal it.
DANNY So yes, it is in my top four as we speak.
SLIM What the —
DANNY Five stars. I finally watched Tintin.
DANNY And I was enamored with this film. I could not — it just, it blew my mind watching it. I got like, through the first 20 minutes, and I was like trying to figure out how they did this animation. I was baffled. And then I just fell in love with the story. Like why did I not watch this film? What came out around this time that I never watched Tintin?
PROTO Ask the questions.
DANNY Connected to Spielberg, connected to Peter Jackson. I mean did it have like — I felt like looking at it, I was getting — what’s that Christmas movie with Tom Hanks on a train?
SLIM The Burbs.
PROTO Planes, Trains & Automobiles.
DANNY Polar Express. I was getting like Polar Express crap vibes.
SLIM That movie is terrible.
DANNY And so I think I avoided this, that and Hugo or something, another crap. So I have just avoided this film. But man, I just absolutely love this film. I don’t know how long it’ll hang in my top four. But as of right now, I had an incredible time watching this film. And then I had to dig into the making of’s watching Spielberg direct the guys motion capturing everything. I was just baffled by the making of this film too. And it was gorgeous. The whole thing was gorgeous! It still held up! It’s so old!
SLIM Don’t yell at me.
DANNY Sorry. [Danny laughs]
PROTO I love this idea of of leasing out your top four for just like a month or two. That’s a great idea. [Slim laughs]
DANNY It’ll hang there for a bit. But man, I was, I had a great time watching this film. It was, it was a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun.
SLIM Full disclosure, KK is probably dead or in a comatose state, KK in our Discord.
PROTO Rest in peace.
SLIM He joined the Discord and our Patreon you know, hoping that at one point we would talk about this movie, Tintin. And we almost were able to weasel it in for Indiana June’s month. It wasn’t in the cards. Unfortunately the winds shifted. But I’m glad you finally watched it. I also love this movie. I was blown away! Like we talked about it on The Letterboxd Show — plug. It was one of Demi’s like higher rated than the average. And apparently they did have plenty — you probably saw this in the making of but they had plans to do like a trilogy with —
DANNY Three, yeah.
SLIM Other directors!
DANNY Peter still tied to direct the second one.
SLIM I can’t believe it didn’t happen. It’s such a bummer.
DANNY Well, The Hobbits happened and then Mortal Engines, which is right around the corner for us. So yeah, they just got busy, but it’s frustrating because it ends in such a cliffhanger. Like maaajor cliffhanger. So I was blow away.
SLIM We got four Hobbit movies instead of two more Tintin minute films. I hope everyone’s happy with what they got.
PROTO It felt very much like a Hobbit movie from my remembering. [Slim laughs]
DANNY It was, it was great. Yeah.
PROTO Tintin could have been a hobbit. Right?
DANNY You never know.
PROTO With this size.
SLIM Cut his mic. Can you cut his mic? [Danny laughs]
PROTO He’s like a small child right if I remember correctly?
SLIM No, he’s like a young adult. He’s like shorter.
DANNY Not everyone is tall, Proto, like you, sorry.
PROTO How tall is he?
DANNY He’s, he’s probably like 5'10'’! He’s an average male.
PROTO I remember him smaller.
DANNY He’s just shorter than… the other guy.
SLIM I’m glad you were finally able to watch it.
DANNY Thank you.
SLIM Hopefully some other people take up the journey and appreciate the Tintin majesty. I just wanted an animated, when I first saw the movie, I wanted them to just make animated Indiana Jones movies like this.
PROTO Oh my gosh!
DANNY For sure.
SLIM Just felt like they could definitely do it.
DANNY Just keep doing Tintin, I mean, the story is there.
PROTO You would print money, that and Indiana Jones. It should be illegal to not print money in that way.
SLIM Later, later in this episode we are covering 1996’s Twister. Jan de Bont.
PROTO Oh my gosh.
SLIM From the creator of Jurassic Park, comes Twister.
SLIM Did you guys look at that poster? Like directly on the poster. That is a baller poster.
DANNY It’s so good.
SLIM Like if you see that in a movie theater and you aren’t amped to see that thing. Holy cow. Check your pulse. My friend.
DANNY Pulse it.
SLIM Did you watch anything else this week?
DANNY Well, yeah, the kids put on a couple movies we watched together. We watched Mulan. OG animated, five star movie. And then we watched Brave. And I wrote in my Letterboxd review that I feel like I’ve seen this the most out of any Pixar movie. And maybe it’s because I have three daughters. Maybe it’s because it is an amazing movie. It’s all the things. Like is this, is this my favorite Pixar movie? I mean, it’s up there for me at least. It’s still beautiful. Still a cool story. Love the music. So yeah.
SLIM I don’t think I’ve ever seen Brave. I don’t even know.
DANNY Wait… what?
SLIM I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Brave.
DANNY I think it’s time, Matt.
SLIM Proto, have you seen it?
PROTO Oh, yeah, of course. Of course I’ve seen Brave! [Slim & Danny laugh]
DANNY Yeah, of course slim!
PROTO Is that a joke?
SLIM Forrest is already on the attack, Slim, please. Think twice before you give an opinion on a Disney animated movie around Forrest.
PROTO Think twice!
SLIM He’s like a hungry Wolverine.
PROTO I’d be dead if he was here last Thursday. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Matthew in chat says that he believes the director pronounces Yan instead of Jan.
DANNY It’s, it’s still Yawn, Matt. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Can we get the director on the horn here? Settle the score here? [Danny laughs] I could, I could be right.
DANNY Remember when you said Scarlett Yojansson? [Danny laughs]
SLIM Listen, this is who I am. Except me for who I am.
PROTO I accept you, Slim.
SLIM Flaws and all. Okay? We got some new friends this week on our Patreon. Dylan, McKenzie, and Ben joined this week, potentially all of which I think might have heard my mispronouncing voice on The Letterboxd Show. So we appreciate them checking out the show and checking 70mm out and joining our community, you can do so at these in the link on 70mmpod.com, four bucks a month, you can join the VHS Village Discord. Get uncut episodes of this very show, exclusive episodes and we have maybe 10 exclusive episodes just for supporters. So we appreciate everyone joining up. And I just want to call out — I’m getting through all the business right now.
PROTO Get through the business.
SLIM We talked about Danny updating his Letterboxd top four, we use Letterboxd every week. It’s our favorite social media site and we give away a free year of Letterboxd Pro to friends that share the show on social media. And this week, that winner is Lucas Mournhagen, on Twitter. Lucas let me know if I pronounced that name right. I think I friggin nailed it.
DANNY I think you nailed it. [Slim laughs]
SLIM And if you wanted to upgrade to Letterboxd Pro or Patron status to support Letterboxd, you didn’t win this week. You can do so using our special link on 70mmpod.com. Proto, what did you watch this week?
PROTO Oh, I just want to say, all that Letterboxd talk, I just realized what’s so cool about when you join the Discord. You immediately get like 15 to 20 Letterboxd followers, who are like now, watching what you watch. [Slim & Danny laugh] Which is pretty cool! Like if you’re on Letterboxd and don’t have anybody you guideline you immediately have like a community. That’s pretty cool. Yeah, I just noticed that with the last few people who are joining.
SLIM I was thinking that, I think I made a comment about that about the Letterboxd subreddit about how someone posted a gag tweet about how the top like famous viewers and I was like this would kill on the Letterboxd subreddit. Where a lot of questions on there are like ‘how do I get more likes on my reviews?’ And it’s really just you need to find more friends like you on Letterboxd. Not really about getting more likes, it’s about finding people that are similar to you or love movies and I think we’re pretty lucky that we have that in the Discord. Like you said, you get like 15 new friends on Letterboxd like right away just by joining, you’re right.
PROTO They won.
SLIM What did you watch Proto?
PROTO Oh, what did I watch… I actually watched a lot of movies. I was able to watch a bunch because of our holiday weekend.
DANNY Mmm! God bless.
PROTO So as we all know our friends over at BAT & SPIDER, dear friends Chuck and Dale, they’re doing for the month of July all the Planet of the Apes movie. So it’s a #hotapesummer.
DANNY Yeah, baby.
PROTO IYKYK. And I jumped in this weekend and I watched the first two Planet of the Apes and Beneath the Planet of the Apes. Boy, I can’t believe there’s five of these. This is gonna be so much fun to watch. I would have never probably watched these. I’d seen the first one before. But just even watching the second one. It was a lot of fun. I gave them both three stars. And you can just tell that, I don’t know what’s gonna happen to these movies. But I’m excited to keep watching.
DANNY I can’t believe you thought you’d never watch these movies. That’s impressive. They’re pretty iconic.
PROTO Well I feel like the first ones iconic, but I’ve never heard anyone really talk about the sequels.
SLIM Yeah, that’s true. I mean, they’re not great.
DANNY I thought I loved them because I bought the big blu-ray boxset. But I guess that was my pre LB days.
DANNY When I went through all of them recently on blu-ray, so I’m excited for hot ape summer with the BanZ boys.
SLIM Yeah, we usually have a journey in our Discord that Proto meditates on and puts together. We do a movie a month, but I’m really excited for us to join BAT & SPIDER in this journey this month. Did you watch the third one yet, Proto?
PROTO No, no, I haven’t.
DANNY That’s when it really gets good. I like the third one a lot. I did not like the second one.
PROTO Well, I mean, I don’t want to, you know, start burning any houses down or anything but I might have like the second one better than the first one. So, there’s that.
DANNY Interesting. Save it for BAT & SPIDER.
SLIM How about that corny twin brother of Charlton Heston that’s in that one? [Danny laughs]
PROTO I liked him better than Heston! Heston’s annoying!
SLIM Heston look like he, you know, he needed a walker in that second movie, and it didn’t even take place that long after the first movie. [Danny laughs]
PROTO That fight scene in the prison. Oscar worthy. [Danny laughs]
SLIM You watched a bunch of other stuff though, didn’t you?
PROTO Oh, man. So I got back, against my better judgement, I went back to the Cronenberg world and I watched Scanners.
DANNY Ohhhh my.
PROTO Which is from 1981.
SLIM Famous movie.
PROTO It’s about, yeah, these folks with telepathic powers. Man, what a crazy movie. And even though I’m not saying it’s amazing, I made a Cronenberg ranked list, because I’ve you know, watching these, so I wanted to put it together and I have Scanners as my number one out of the five that I’ve seen, so.
SLIM Did you rate scanners? You’ve been in a kind of no rating mood for certain movies recently, I’ve noticed.
PROTO I’ve been, I’ve been, I’ve been dabbling in different arts, you know, Letterboxd arts. [Slim laughs]
DANNY The Dark Arts.
PROTO The Dark Arts of not giving any stars. But just dabbling. But yeah, I didn’t. I didn’t give this a star rating. Of course, ask and you shall receive.
SLIM That lead actor in that movie, I don’t know what his name is, Stephen Lack, maybe one of the worst actors have ever seen in a movie. [Danny laughs]
PROTO Oh my gosh.
DANNY Get him on the show!
PROTO Absolutely. His scenes were so terrible. Beyond, there’s one scene where he says I think the same line four times in a row. I need to find Darryl Revok. It’s like, I can’t forget it now. I just, I just see him when I close my eyes saying that line over and over again. [Proto laughs]
SLIM It was brutal. I don’t know if Cronenberg was like, it was like this could be so bad it’s good for this movie. Like maybe he thought it was gonna be one of those performances that ended up becoming iconic, but I thought it was just not very good.
PROTO Yeah, the guy had no charisma at all.
SLIM Charaz. Anything else you wanted to cover?
PROTO Just that I got to two biggies have been on my watch list for so long. The French Connection and Sunset Boulevard.
SLIM What a friggin week.
PROTO Yeah, I’ve had quite a week. You know, I was I knew there was going to be good movies. So I was like, so why don’t I just put them on? I love Gene Hackman. I’m just like now realizing this. Like I’m a Gene Hackman stan. I want to watch all his movies. I like, he’s one of my favorite actors. I don’t know why I’ve been hiding this from myself for so long. It’s the truth though.
SLIM Did you watch The Conversation yet? I think you.
PROTO Noo, but that’s the one I want to get into next.
SLIM Ohhh, golly. Man, he was a scumbag in the French Connection wasn’t he?
DANNY Absolute scumbag.
SLIM His character.
PROTO Oh, yeah. To the ending. Oh my gosh. What a hero. [Danny & Slim laugh]
DANNY Don’t spoil it.
SLIM So what about Sunset Boulevard? That’s an iconic movie too.
PROTO Oh, yeah.
DANNY Oh baby.
PROTO That is like getting the the the juices flowing for more noir. I was looking at noir movies. Trying to make a list for myself.
SLIM Excuse me?
PROTO Yes, because I need, I need more of this. This was so good. Especially, oh, man. I forget how much I love older movies. You know? Like when we watched Vertigo. I was like, What am I, what have I been doing? I gotta watch more older movies.
SLIM But then it like escapes, you don’t ever don’t ever go back. We all say the same thing. And then we’re like back to the filth from other decades.
PROTO We got to get back into it.
SLIM Oldies Month.
PROTO How about you, Slim? What are we watching? What’d you watch?
SLIM I was hypnotized by an actor that goes by the name Steven Seagal this past week. I don’t know what made me stumble upon it. It might have been my watch list. But full disclosure, Steven Seagal you know he could be considered one of the biggest scumbags in the history of film. But in the 80s or 90s, I think maybe the late 80s or 90s, early 90s, you know, he had some big movies come out. Hard to Kill. Under Siege. Where he’s like a cook on a submarine.
DANNY Does he have that white suit on that cover?
SLIM Yeah, yeah, that might be —
DANNY I remember that cover.
SLIM I can’t remember if that’s, yeah, that’s under Siege One.
PROTO Yeah, this you have a line in your review for above the law. Quote, ‘Can you imagine if he had done a full on Vietnam movie in this era? Eff me. Disclaimer. He seems like a total scumbag in real life.’ [Danny laughs] But what’s that mean? Like who would you equate him to? This is in 1988. What’s the star power at this time?
SLIM The star power? I think it’s real high star power, he had this first like five movies or so. He was a legit stud. You know of this kind of timeframe with the Jean-Claude Van Damme’s and the Dolph Lundgren’s, I don’t know if Dolph was really up to their level. But it there’s just something about him. He’s like alleged seventh black belt in aikido. And aikido, the only knowledge I have of Jonesy, former historian on the show, alleged according to some people, I think he does aikido, anytime you see him in real life you hold gladly grab your wrist and you know try not to break it accidentally. That’s really frustrating. [Danny & Proto laugh] But I took James to aikido classes when he was younger and you know you do like some arm things, you throw. But apparently this is like a real, you know, legit thing so in his movies, he’s doing you know his aikido. But it just looks like nonsense. It’s always the same movem he blocks a punch and then clothesline somebody. But it’s just so intoxicating. For some reason. He’s just so strange. The way he acts.
DANNY He looks like a tree trunk.
SLIM What’d you say? He looks like a tree trunk? [Slim laughs]
DANNY He looks like a tree trunk, just like this large man.
sLIM As an older man, he definitely is very odd looking. Plus, he has a whole history of being a very strange man. Like he makes the same movies over and over again. So Tubi, which I love, free movies with ads. If you’re into that, you can watch a whole S ton of Steven Seagal movies. [Proto & Slim laugh]
DANNY No thank you!
SLIM Tubi gang rise up, my friends. [Danny laughs] So I had a lot of fun watching. I mean, Steven Seagal is a chef in a submarine and every movie I’ve watched so far, he’s like literally untouchable. He’s the perfect soldier. He makes no mistakes whatsoever. And no one even gets close to hurting him. You know in other action movies, you get like Jean Claude gets his ass kicked in a lot of his early films or Sylvester Stallone gets beat up.
PROTO How about Mifune in Yojimbo? He gets destroyed in that movie.
SLIM Yeah, yeah.
PROTO This guy doesn’t get touched?!
SLIM No, they don’t even get close. There’s a knife fight in Under Siege, it’s one of the worst scenes I’ve ever been a part of. Tommy Lee Jones versus Steven Seagal in a knife fight. It’s awful. [Proto & Danny & Slim laugh] It’s so stupid! But I think that might be all I want to talk about. I don’t know if anyone wants to hear me talk about more Steven Seagal movies necessarily.
DANNY You’re forgetting a big one you watched, Matt.
SLIM What’s that?
DANNY You’re forgetting a big movie that you —
SLIM The Tomorrow War?
DANNY Thank you.
PROTO Oh, yeah, what the?
SLIM There’s a lot of, I’m getting a lot of — I’m getting grief!
DANNY Listen, you’re not getting any grief, just let us hear about this four star review.
PROTO Speak your truth.
SLIM I’m getting grief from people that watched Tomorrow War, you know, their name, the people that are grieving me, their name might rhyme with like, Nike, Nike P. That’s probably not obvious. So I think people can make their own assumptions. But I watched Tomorrow War with my son, James, he’s 10 years old. He’s like, ‘’Dad, I want to watch, you hear about this Tomorrow War? I want to watch this movie!’’ And he gets YouTube ads. And I was like, oh my god, you want to watch a movie with me? I was like, hell yeah. Let’s go sit down in front of the couch and watch it. And this had easily one of the worst trailers I have ever seen. I think this is the movie that made me stop watching trailers in the Discord.
SLIM I was like, I can’t do this anymore. This is terrible. [Slim laughs] So we sat down to watch it. It starts out really rough. Chris Pratt is like a scientist who can’t get like promoted, and then at a soccer game, that they’re watching at home. These people come out of a portal and be like, we’re from the future. We’re losing a war. So we’re recruiting you. And then the whole movie just like starts. There’s like, no details or anything. So it’s like, oh, my God, this is, maybe this is a bad movie. And I actually had a lot of fun watching it with James, you know, Chris Pratt, they’re recruiting people that, they’re losing the war, so they’re just recruiting anybody, like older people in this war. They’re not soldiers, this was like your neighbors. They’re like, dressed up in this war, and they get sent to the future and the first big fight scene there transponders wrongs, they like land on the top of a skyscraper most of them die just because they just fall off the building. And you still don’t see what who they’re fighting, these aliens. I actually really enjoyed the aliens in the movie. I thought the reveal was pretty well done. So James was having a great time, me and him were like trying to figure out the the plot of the movie as we went on, like, oh, is this character so and so you think? Like I wonder why this person is important. So I gave this movie four stars, you know, it’s not — just how I rate movies, my enjoyment level watching it was four stars. You know, it doesn’t mean that this is like Oscar winning movie. So James and I loved it. So I recommend it. If you’re looking for Chris Pratt action movie —
DANNY No one’s looking for that.
PROTO He was son-fluenced. [Slim laughs] It happens to us.
DANNY I fell asleep three minutes ago him talking about this movie. Holy crap.
PROTO It happens to all of us. You watch a movie with your kid, you get sucked in by how much they love.
SLIM Family movie night! You know?
PROTO There’s no shame in this.
SLIM Thank you. I appreciate that.
PROTO I just also want to note one other thing is that it Slim called out me not giving stars to Scanners and I’m just looking since since he washed Lawrence from last week. You have six movies without any stars on your Letterboxd. I just want to make note of that. [Slim laughs] Disclaimer, I don’t rate, I don’t give ratings for movies that I’m going to talk about on The Letterboxd Show with guests, you know as their favorite movies. I don’t know. I just, didn’t vibe with me like what if I don’t like their movie? You know, I want to give you like one star and be like, yeah, tell me why you love this piece of crap movie.
DANNY Matt, for the intro to this episode. Can you take ‘famous’ from me and put it in front of you and but ‘famous podcaster, Slim’ [Slim laughs] And then just artist, Danny. Please.
PROTO Slim, producer, are you listening? Please. We’re talking to Slim producer right now.
SLIM End this. End it. That’s my explanation and I’m stickin’ to it. We need to get into —
DANNY We really need to get into it.
PROTO It’s time.
SLIM The soup de jour [Danny laughs] of this episode. 1996 Twister. Bill Paxton and the Queen Helen Hunt. And a host of other actors. Proto, are you ready to inform the people, this is streaming on HBO Max. So if you haven’t watched it yet, you want to, you can, but please.
[music from Twister fades in]
PROTO I haven’t read this twice. So we’ll see how it goes. You ever have a loved one eaten by a tornader? Jo Harding has. In fact, it was the finger of God who ate her dad, aka an F5 aka the big one, as high as heaven and exactly the width of Kentucky. Most would retreat to a natural disaster free zone and attend weekly therapy sessions to deal with the trauma experienced at seeing your father sucked out of the cellar, never to be seen again. But not Jo, she will not stop until she gets revenge on that F5 tornado and does all the science on it. All the science with the help of ex husband, Bill the extreme Harding, and her ragtag crew of storm chasers as they chase the big one. And get Dorothy all up in there. The F5, the tornader, the Twister.
SLIM You just know Proto is grinning his ass off in his office writing that down. [Danny laughs]
PROTO Just came out of me!
SLIM I have never been near a twister or a tornader, you know, filled the Philadelphia area does not really get hit with these things. So when this movie came out, I don’t even remember if I went to see this in theaters. This might have just been a TBS jawn for me. Do you remember Danny?
DANNY I don’t remember seeing in theaters. It would have been more probably on TV. Probably a VHS rental. Yeah, when did you watch this Proto?
PROTO Pretty sure not in theaters. But we had the VHS of this. And I’ve I don’t even know how many times I’ve seen this. I felt like I watched this movie all the time. And I’ve heard other people saying that too. Which seems, this is such like a funny movie. I wonder if it was just like, why is that? Why does everyone have this movie? And have seen it so many times?
DANNY I don’t know. I felt the same way reading everyone saying that in the Discord that they’ve seen this so many times. And I remember watching it quite a bit too. It’s just fascinating to me.
SLIM I think it probably has to do with what cable package people had and what channels they had. Because I did not watch this movie over and over again. Dante’s Peak is the movie that I watched over and over again.
PROTO Oh, yeah.
SLIM Like that was a movie I’ve maybe seen a million times. So depending on what channels you had, I think it may be depended on how often you saw this.
DANNY I also think because it was like dual rival produced by both Warner Brothers and Universal. So probably hit every single, you know, cable whatever package for each different studio.
SLIM Yeesh. I’m trying to go through the first item on my list. I have a few like, big things from this movie.
DANNY Alright. You start.
SLIM This is your pick. Danny for our themeless month by the way, I forgot to mention that. The Jeep that they had in this movie. [Danny laughs]
PROTO Oh god.
SLIM Is this for real? My god, that Jeep was out of sight. I would love to just retire on a you know, forest site with that Jeep and just do nothing all day. [Danny laughs]
PROTO What a tragedy though. What was he thinking? In that ditch?
SLIM You could say that about any scene in this movie. What was he thinking? [Danny & Proto laugh] What’s on what’s on your list, Danny, this is your pick. You brought us here. He brought the Village here with Twister.
DANNY I think well, what led me to this pick was when we went through Ladies Month or Leading Ladies Month. Was that what it was called?
DANNY And we got to Aliens. And we got to Bill. I was thinking about movies that I’d seen bill and and I really couldn’t place many but this one, and then it was kind of stuck in my brain that I really wanted to watch Twister again. But coming into this, I forget how fast paced this movie is like it, it doesn’t really let up ever. And even in the scenes between when they’re chasing a different twister. The in between scenes are chaotic too, the dinner scene. It’s just there’s just so much chaos in this film. And yeah, I kind of love it.
SLIM It’s quick.
DANNY Yeah, I love the beginning. Sorry, go ahead, Proto.
PROTO I was just gonna say yeah, half hour and I was thinking wait how many tornadoes do they run into in this movie? [Danny laughs]
DANNY I know!
PROTO ’Cause I was like, there’s still on hour left. There’s gonna be like three more tornadoes!
DANNY And I think it’s also quite the beginning when you — what’s Bill’s name in this movie?
DANNY Bill. That’s right. Okay, that’s what I was trying to lose my mind. When Bill pulls up to the site where they’re all at and, and Jo is there it does a really good job of quickly introducing each character without having to do like, a giant backstory for each person on why they’re there. You know what everyone’s role is and that first meeting of them before they rush off for the first tornado.
SLIM Right. Proto, what’s on what’s on the top of your list for this viewing for Twister?
PROTO Top of the list, if we must, I have a quote. Oh, yeah, when Bill is all pissed off at our dear boy, Jonas Miller, the rival. When he when he runs into him and Bill gets all pissed off. ‘’He’s only in it for the money! Not for the science!’’ I’m like dude, who cares? If you’re gonna have all this money to do the science, wouldn’t that be a good thing? Like this dude is decked out. He’s got he’s like loaded with cash. He’s trying to do the same job you are. Why you pissed off about it? I feel like Bill was like completely backwards in this. Like he was such a child. Whereas like Jonas guy was like, hey, I’m like, you know, we’re gonna get this done because we have, you know, financial backing.
DANNY I know I’ve said James Woods has the most punchable face on Hollywood. I think Cary Elwes has the most punchable handsome face in Hollywood.
SLIM Just want to pants him. One thing I was gonna say is after Aliens, I didn’t think you were ever going to want to see a Bill Paxton film. You know, you had the disturbing reaction you had of seeing him?
PROTO Very harsh.
DANNY Sorry, it was just ‘game over, man!’
SLIM Just disturbing hearing that transpire. Is Bill Paxton the worst fiance in movie history? I mean, he brings this gal to get the divorce papers signed. And then they go on a storm chasing for the you know, the next two days. What are you doing, man? Why isn’t she hanging back at a dingy Motel 6 at that point? She was in such danger for the whole movie. And none of them seem to care, none of them seem to care. They’re all insane. For the most part of this movie, I was like getting so annoyed at Bill, it was terrible.
DANNY Also, divorcing Helen Hunt?
SLIM Exactly. What are you doing?!
DANNY What are you doing?
SLIM What happened Bill?
DANNY Those khakis. [Slim laughs]
PROTO We need a prequel as to what did happen to Bill while he was away from Helen that turned him into this guy? Can we get a prequel please?
DANNY The Bill/Jo marriage story.
SLIM We got to find out what what broke down because I mean, when they when their magic their quote unquote ‘’chemistry’’ kicks in. You know, they had it going on. It’s like they never shut it off. But also Bill, I feel like Bill is just not a great lead in this movie. Like I wasn’t buying him is kind of like this stud to be with Helen Hunt. Soph says Helen is too good for him. I sort of agree. I don’t think he was the right fit for this movie.
PROTO He was the extreme though.
DANNY There probably was a time that we didn’t see when they were a perfect match.
PROTO When he was ravishing.
SLIM He had like long hair, luscious hair or something.
DANNY Yeah. Before the tornaders ripped it out.
SLIM The one other thing I wrote down was in any other kind of movie, I would think that it would be reversed where the dude is trying to win back the woman as opposed to wanting no part of the lead, like the female lead. I just felt it was like flipped a little bit in this movie, where you would think it would just be the guy kind of like pushing and trying to win back or like not wanting to sign the divorce papers instead of a woman. I just thought it was flipped in this movie.
DANNY The flip.
SLIM The flip job. What else you got, Danny?
DANNY Gosh, you already talked about the Jeep.
DANNY Well I’m talking about my favorite scene I think I love the — well, leading into it. I love the drive in movie scene theme with The Shining playing, it’s so stressful, like that for me this film is super stressful. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that the tornadoes like this are real and really destroy people’s lives in an instant. And can actually happen to someone and it just terrifies me. But watching that driving scene where it’s just kind of calm people are going about their lives. The Shining alone is scary enough. Like the tone of it. I just, I kind of that’s one of my favorite scenes ever. I just really like it. It’s creepy and the sound of the music I feel like they play The Shining theme somewhere else in the in the movie as well. The kind of deep baritone sounds from The Shining. And then they have the noise of the tornado which is terrifying. It’s like this deep guttural kind of growl. Like an animal sound and so yeah, I just I think The Shining scene is my favorite scene of the movie. It’s incredible. I love when it rips the screen off and it’s still projecting The Shining onto the twister. [Danny laughs] It’s just great. So it’s smart.
PROTO Yeah, that’s one thing about that is like the, like the physics of the Twister in this movie. You can’t make heads or tails of it. Because like sometimes they’re like a twister, like there’s that scene where the twister is starting to pick up or throws the, like the oil tanker. And then it’s like careening towards them cool. But then at the end, they’re like, like within like 50 feet of the tornado and it’s not doing anything to them. [Proto laughs] Yeah, it’s like the the physics work however they needed to at like the right time, I just thought that was funny to see stuff. Like the cows like floating back and forth. Whereas like nothing else is really moving like the Jeep, the car wasn’t moved that much.
SLIM It’s like the same rules apply for the top men seen in Crystal Skull with the magnets —
DANNY Okay. [Slim laughs] We’ve ended Junes.
SLIM Sorry, sorry. I did get a DM from the account that no one believed was was real, watchclicker on IG. Quote, ‘’I took a meteorology course in college and we watched this movie. Our assignment was to pick out everything scientifically inaccurate in the movie, it was brutal, but I still love it. There’s basically nothing accurate the movie except that tornadoes exist.’’ [Danny & Proto laugh]
PROTO That’s amazing.
DANNY Yeah, well, so, that’s the best part.
PROTO Philip Seymour Hoffman is a king. His performance in this. I just love it. He is so, so charismatic. He has such like amazing energy in every scene he’s in. Like you just, he’s just so fascinating. I just remember him in this movie so clearly watching it early on. That that always in his sweatshirt, I always wanted his sweatshirt that he has draped over his head. [Danny laughs] Iconic.
[clip of Twister plays]
DUSTIN The suck zone. The point, basically, at which the Twister sucks you up.
[clip of Twister ends]
SLIM I wrote, I wrote down on my note, but that’s my notes. Not singular. That he plays such a goofball character. But it’s one of those characters. If you had only seen him in this movie, where he was never in another movie. It would make sense. Like he’s just playing a goofball side character. But he went on to be this incredible, full featured actor. Like you wouldn’t think that just from this kind of random roll in Twister at all.
PROTO Who else is like that? Are there any other actors you can think of? Where they had like a really small role like this and then — well I mean, I mean, there’s tons.
SLIM It just felt like a very jack black asked character. And that’s not to downplay jack black at all, because I love them. But the majority of my notes revolve around saying this is very dangerous. Are they insane? There’s so many points where they’re on the hunt for the tornader. And they’re just so close. Like, there was a whole era. I can’t remember what year it was. It was after this where, you know, Travel Channel or Weather Channel would have the storm chasers. There was like a moment where like, these people had television shows, and they were popular, like Ice Road Trucker style popular. And it just, I couldn’t wrap my brain around it. I was like getting annoyed watching this like, what are you doing? You’re going to die! And Bill and Helen get into these positions, maybe four or five times where they get accidentally too close. And they’re like about to die. Even just they’re driving so close. I like couldn’t wrap my head around just the enormity of the danger in this movie. Like it just didn’t make sense. It wasn’t like a dinosaur that is like coming out of the woods. It was like a tornado that you know is there that you’re going toward yourself. I just, just blew my mind.
PROTO Every tornado scene consisted of two elements. First, them driving towards it, ‘We have to get closer! We have to get closer!’ And then them saying ‘We’re too close! We’re too close! We have to get out!’ [Slim & Danny laugh] That’s every scene with a tornado.
SLIM I mean, even the scene towards the end — and sorry Soph if you’re not there yet — but there’s a scene where they have to try to get Dorothy part to you know, 2.0 in the Twister like to get the data, we need the data. At the end of the movie, they said data so many times I wanted throw up on myself. [Proto laughs] I couldn’t understand why they didn’t have like another plan to get this object in the tornado.
DANNY They didn’t have the money.
SLIM You can build a catapult, you know, just get someone that is… geometry? Is that how you build a catapult? Someone that’s talented with geometry and numbers. And you could build yourself a catapult. [Danny laughs]
DANNY Are you telling me, you’re gonna, you’re gonna drive with a catapult and —
SLIM Just keep it attached to like, okay, alright, we need to get 1000 yards from this tornado. [Danny laughs]
DANNY 1000 yards?! [Danny laughs]
SLIM But they end up having to get the truck literally a foot away from the tornado. And they jumped out of it when it was maybe like, I mean, it’s too nutty! They got too dangerous here.
PROTO They had to get inside center of an F5 have to do it.
SLIM It doesn’t make any sense to me! Chuck that thing in there! [Danny & Proto laugh]
DANNY Just what I about you Slim. This is what I love. I love that you’re trying to make sense of this movie. That’s, that’s the best part.
PROTO That’s all we can do.
SLIM That’s all I can do. I mean, if this movie didn’t make sense, it wouldn’t, it wouldn’t exist.
DANNY But it’s just, it’s just hilarious that we’re trying to wrap our heads around these ridiculous devices trying to be shoved into a tornado. And it’s just, it’s amazing. [Slim laughs]
SLIM A trebuchet?
SLIM That’s right. Trebuchet those balls. [Danny & Proto & Slim laugh]
DANNY Ohhhh my gosh.
PROTO If someone has a better way of doing this, you know —
SLIM Someone had to have.
PROTO Send it in to us.
SLIM Let us know how would you catapult Dorothy into a tornado from a safer distance and five feet away?
DANNY But does that, does the fact that it’s a crazy idea, does it ruin the movie for you?
SLIM I mean, I still had a fun time watching it.
DANNY But do you sit there and you’re like this is stupid.
SLIM Well, it depends because like I can say that out loud and then still laugh and say like, this is really stupid. And then still enjoy it.
DANNY It is a ridiculous idea. But for some reason. I would love to be driving that Dodge straight through a cornfield with Dorothy strapped to it. It just seems like a blast. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Casey, come get your mans.
PROTO I need a Chris Pratt movie where for some reason he has to skydive into a tornado.
SLIM Listen, they’re making a second Tomorrow War so that might be a possibility in a couple of years on Amazon.
PROTO Amazon. Are you listening?
SLIM How about the aunt from this movie being the plant lady from Minority Report?
DANNY Is that her?
SLIM She’s the mother of the precogs.
DANNY Oh my gosh.
SLIM I remember her being such a strange performance in Minority Report.
PROTO Yeah, where she’s spraying the, spraying the plants.
SLIM Art says ‘remember when she kissed Tom?’ was also a very bizarre scene.
PROTO Moving scene. [Slim laughs] How ‘bout those steaks?
DANNY Oh my gosh.
PROTO Oh my god, this meal. This meal is iconic that they have in her house. Yeah, I just from when I think of this movie. That’s the first thing that pops in my head for some reason. I just remember like being like, wow, can you imagine having that much steak at breakfast And she slaughtered her cows for them.
SLIM How long did it take to slaughter a cow to then eat the meat?
PROTO No one knows.
SLIM Apologies to all the vegans out there, this is a —
PROTO This is explicit.
SLIM Let’s see. Do I have any other notes for this movie?
DANNY Did you watch any of the making ofs?
SLIM I did not, no.
SLIM You want to tell us about it?
DANNY Yeah, I would love to, because I had, I wrote down a few things. But there’s a couple things that impressed me with the making of and the amount of actual practical effects in this movie are kind of mind blowing what they do. The most CG is really just the twisters they didn’t even bother with blue screen green screening any of the stuff behind them. They just decided just to change the skies and stuff like that. What blew me away mostly was the end, which we haven’t talked about much yet when they’re running the two of them after when the big tornado is coming. And it’s ripping the stakes out of the ground launching from the barn. And then the most iconic scene in the film when they’re being sucked through the middle of the suck zone of the tornado. And that whole scene is practical, except for the tornado itself. They have this giant wheel type rotating device where it just kind of hung them from upside down as the camera rotated with them. And it was really insane to watch. I mean, and then they were actually launching picket fence stakes into the walls. Those are really, that’s really happening. I was like, this is so dangerous. What are you guys doing? And there was there are some really funny moments where they’re actually paling ice on top of Bill and he gets cut. He’s just like, I’m not really acting. I’m just actually kidding hurt. [Danny laughs] And it was impressive. I mean, I really enjoyed a lot of it.
SLIM What was the backstory in the ride? Did you watch a video on the ride thing?
DANNY Oh, yeah, yeah, I’ve done the ride a few times. It’s not really a ride. It’s a walk through kind of, you kind of walk through the movie and then they kind of replicate a little bit of have what it would be like to be in a tornado. You kind of walk through the aunt’s house after it’s been destroyed. And then you kind of, I think you get to the drive-in scene, you’re standing outside of it, and they have like a fake tornado come down, and it’s impressive. It’s fun. It was fun. It was fun for kids. I mean, it’s been yanked out for Jimmy Fallon which, whatever, no comment.
SLIM I don’t want to get into that right now.
PROTO Jimmy Fallon the ride?
SLIM You talk about ruining a mood.
DANNY That is a thing Proto.
SLIM We did that Universal. It was —
DANNY You did it? [Danny laughs] I refuse to do it!
SLIM It was the low point of the entire trip. He makes me sick.
DANNY You have the Florida heat, and then you have the lowest point, which is Jimmy Fallon.
SLIM I think that’s why we went in there because of the heat and we’re like, okay, it’s either pass out from heatstroke or go to the Jimmy Fallon ride at Universal. We made the wrong choice.
DANNY Yes, definitely.
PROTO I thought it was kind of funny that you said most most of its practical effects except for the tornadoes when I feel like the tornadoes are everything in this movie. I know what you’re saying but like, so much of it is just tornadoes. [Proto laughs]
DANNY I think I meant like, yeah, there’s just so much being thrown around that I feel like should have been CG and not put everybody at risk. Like they dropped to tankers with gasoline out of the sky to blow up on like, legit blowing up.
SLIM That scene alone, the truck scene. I have that specifically.
DANNY The only time it’s a CG truck is when it’s kind of going sideways at them. Every other time you see it, it’s a fully aluminum built truck that they dropped twice. And then the house rolling scene I love that scene is so stupid, but like, they built like a sideways house that they drove a truck through. It’s impressive! I just like stuff like that.
SLIM Yeah most of the stuff now would be green screen in some kind of orb room.
DANNY Anyway, that’s pretty much all my notes.
SLIM The other thing I had was the CG Space Station.
PROTO Oh yes. [Danny laughs]
SLIM That was from like Syphon Filter PS1 or something.
PROTO That was a PS1 cut screen yeah.
SLIM Holy cow.
DANNY Tomb Raider graphics.
SLIM That should have been real. Should have been realistic. They should have just done something with a miniature, anything else.
DANNY Last month or May was the 25th anniversary of this movie.
SLIM I can’t verify this in chat. But Nike P says Tom Hanks originally cast for Paxton’s role. Wow. Holy cow.
PROTO That would have been amazing. Tom, please.
DANNY It would have been absolutely horrible.
PROTO Are you kidding me?!
DANNY Tom Hanks in this role?
PROTO Oh yeah!
DANNY Oh my god, no.
PROTO Yessss. Yes.
DANNY No way.
PROTO Tom can do anything. Saying it now.
PROTO You think that then you see Captain Phillips.
SLIM No one has seen Captain Phillips.
PROTO You gotta watch Captain Phillips.
SLIM What is Captain Phillips?
PROTO Tom Hanks movie. [Danny laughs] He’s on a boat.
SLIM What’s the Leonardo DiCaprio movie we’re always teasing that we would want to do but we never do with Tom Hanks? The Christmas movie?
DANNY Christmas movie? Catch Me if You Can?
SLIM Catch Me if You Can. Oh my god.
PROTO The podfather in chat. Just said ‘’I will come on for that one.’’
SLIM Captain Phillips or Catch Me if You Can?
DANNY Both. Double feature.
PROTO Can we get a clarification?
SLIM Captain Phillips?! Oh my — what?!
DANNY I don’t know if I —
PROTO Do you believe?
SLIM I need to do some research. I don’t even, I’m not even sure if this is real movie.
PROTO Do you believe?!
SLIM This is a made up movie here.
DANNY Is this the one where he lands the airplane in New York Harbor or something?
SLIM Yeah, I think that might be the one —
PROTO No, no, that’s Sully. [Slim laughs]
SLIM That’s Sully!
DANNY They’re the same movie.
SLIM Oh, is that gif from Captain Phillips?
PROTO Yes, I am the captain now, yes.
PROTO I thought the same exact thing! I thought the same exact thing. And then I saw it, and I was, I felt differently. Okay?
SLIM What’s your rating on —
PROTO This is my Waterworld. [Danny & Slim laugh]
SLIM Stupid ass. I gotta call this junk out. [Proto laughs] Captain Phillips. We’ll take, we’ll take this under consideration here. I got to do some more research in this movie. Matthew has put it out there that he would come on for Captain Philips. Proto, any closing thoughts and your rating for Twister?
PROTO Um, yeah, I just I hadn’t realized how bad the tornadoes looked in this movie until this viewing. Woof! That was some bad looking tornaders. But you know, I enjoy this movie. I’ve seen it so many times. It’s a fun ride. Um, yeah, give it three stars.
SLIM Okay. Wow, okay. Avoiding disaster potentially with that rating. I also had fun. I think I just have some nostalgia with other disaster movies in this timeframe, namely Dante’s Peak.
DANNY You’ve said that twice now.
SLIM Dante’s Peak is potentially a perfect movie, Linda Hamilton. Absolutely vision, the chemistry with her and Pierce is off the charts.
DANNY We’re not talking about that film.
SLIM So I’m three stars for Twister, myself.
DANNY My goodness! Three stars. I think I’m right there with you guys. I think I have, I do have nostalgia tied to this film. I enjoy watching it. I loved the theme park-ness of its, of that show. For me, I’m gonna say it’s actually four stars, because I just really have fun with this film. It’s just a lot of fun. Start to finish. It’s chaotic. And I’m here for it. And I’m also here for Helen Hunt.
SLIM Yeah, she’s amazing [Slim laughs] Eric’s Photoshop. Oh my god. Can you imagine if we did like a disaster movie month?
DANNY Hmm. And Marcie said Danny is a storm chaser. Yes, I would love this job. So I think that’s another part of this film because I would have a blast.
PROTO Which character would you be?
DANNY Dusty. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Didn’t even have to think about it. [Proto laughs]
DANNY When you become a storm chaser your logo needs to be that Photoshop photo of Helen Hunt, squarehead that is in chat right now. [Danny & Slim & Proto laugh] Isn’t Poseidon Adventure a disaster movie? Who just watched that? Was that Art? Someone recommended that in the roulette?
DANNY What’s the disaster?
SLIM I don’t know. The adventure?
PROTO The cruise ship. I think.
SLIM Towering Inferno? Yeah, there’s a bunch of cool movies we could do for that.
PROTO Yeah, that was groogrux.
SLIM Alright. There you have it, Twister, HBO Max, you want to go back down memory lane. Seantana, delete that, we’re not doing San Andreas. Delete all mentioned this.
PROTO VGER, delete.
SLIM You can leave us a voicemail or a letter. Write us an old fashioned letter using the links on 70mmpod.com. Shoot his letter at firstname.lastname@example.org. We have three voicemails. Just a reminder, I’m going to be revealing my pick for next week in mere moments. This is gonna be a big moment for the show. You know, I’m trying to honor our dear friends at the Cinenauts since they’ve gone on hiatus. Former producer the show, now disgraced, Ian, it’s coming right around the corner. Let’s get to some VMs.
VOICEMAIL Hey 70mm buddies. It’s your paul, nosoulnoproblem! [cow sound] You might be wondering, why I’m outside in these kinds of conditions? Well, to answer that requires a bit of a story. When I was about five years old, a tornado ripped through our town, heading straight for our family home. I know this because my parents talked about how much of a nuisance I was at that particular moment. I would not wake up when they were trying to get down into the basement with my younger sister after trying to get me up multiple times and not awakening, my dad took my younger sister down to the basement and my mom stayed up trying to wake me up. Eventually she grabbed me, picked me out and recounts how she heard. It sounded like a 12 story lion roaring outside of the house. And as she picked me up and started running back, all of a sudden it grew quiet. Apparently according to other locals that tornado had gone back up into the sky right before it came in contact with our home. So needless to say that experience along with watching this movie severely [cow sound] traumatized me. So I figured it was about time I faced my fears. Wish me luck! I hope to talk to you next week!
SLIM Old Ben at it again with his production quality and potentially real cow.
PROTO Was that — that was all real right?
SLIM That was as real as the original Twister film practical effects.
DANNY It’s all true. [Slim laughs]
SLIM I hope Ben makes it after that.
PROTO Amazing. for that.
DANNY Hope he has a better latch.
PROTO What would be a better story that you survived a tornado going right over your house or you were struck by lightning? I guess it’s got to be tornado. Right?
DANNY This is a good question.
SLIM Can you see that first part again? [Danny laughs] Struck by lightning or what?
PROTO Surviving a tornado.
SLIM I don’t know.
PROTO LIke surviving the suck zone.
SLIM We just got kicked off Spotify for that one sentence. [Danny laughs] Next VM.
VOICEMAIL Hey friends, it’s me Boom. Um, I just wanted to call in and say that I watched Twister for the first time and honestly enjoyed it. I was having like, like a lazy laid back day and it was just like, the perfect movie to put on. It is like the most 90s weather related film I’ve ever seen and Helen Hunt is like so horny for tornadoes. It’s absolute ridiculous. But I love it. She’s just like, living her best dangerous life. And also, I have to say that Bill Paxton kind of drives me nuts. I don’t know what it is about him, but I just want to like punch him in his face. And that’s just the way I feel. That’s just my truth. He also speaks like he is narrating a men’s razor commercial. He just wanted to be like, ‘’Men, does your facial hair have you drifting into extreme conditions? I’m Bill Paxton, and I’m here to tell you that with the triple blade Twister three razor you can get as close to a shave as I, Paxton Paxton, in my hit movie, Twister.’’ Anyways, that’s just how I feel. I hope y’all are having fun. Can’t wait to listen. Bye!
SLIM Boom from the Cinenauts podcast.
DANNY Rest in peace Bill Paxton. [Danny laughs]
SLIM I hope he found peace.
PROTO I think she really nailed it.
SLIM She did. He does have that kind of cadence. And you know what if Tom Hanks was in there? What if it was Tom? What if?
PROTO Yeah, I wonder what — we need to get like a hag reading on Helen Hunt’s character of like what astrological sign she is like, what can we learn about this character?
SLIM Final voicemail of the night.
VOICEMAIL Hey, 70 mil, it’s Beks reporting from Colorado. Just wanted to drop a line and say I’m so excited that you guys are reviewing Twister. This was my best friend’s mom’s favorite movie growing up so I’ve seen it a million times. But it has been a long time since I was a kid that I’ve seen it, so it’s fun to go back and remember everything about the film but also nothing. Carie Ewles is a total stack and I think it’s a little savage that he died such a death. He was just, you know, a little bit fancier than the rest of them. Anyway, seems weird. But that’s all I wanted to say. Hope you guys are doing well. Love you. Bye.
SLIM Love you too Beks. Sorry, Soph, that’s spoilers. How much time do you have left in Twister at this point of the night?
PROTO She keeps rewinding the Bill Paxton scenes. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM 70 minutes?!
DANNY 70 minutes?!
PROTO You said you started at 8:30!
SLIM Carl Elwes is a snack. Proto, can you confirm the snackability of Carl?
PROTO I’ve always felt that way. I mean, the Princess Bride changed my life. [Danny laughs]
DANNY Can we stop saying Carl, please. [Danny can’t stop laughing]
PROTO Carl? [Danny still can’t stop laughing]
DANNY Stupid! Oh, my chest hurts. [Slim laughs]
PROTO Get it out.
SLIM Danny, do you think this is a game? This is not a game!
DANNY I feel like it’s a game tonight! [Danny laughs]
SLIM Oh, God, what an ep. We have to get to my pick for next week.
DANNY Oh, yes!
SLIM Do I have the disk here? I think I’ve put it at the TV.
DANNY Oh, gosh.
SLIM You know, I’ve been thinking about this a long time. Real long time. We had a mainstream pick this week with Twister. And in two weeks, listen, we got plans coming up real soon.
DANNY Are you about to tease two weeks from now?
SLIM I don’t know how I’m gonna tease it without giving away but we got plans for two weeks from now. We’re going big. Okay? We’re going real big. [Danny & Slim laugh] So this I’ve been I’ve been thinking about this movie for a while, everyone’s talking about it. The Cinenauts podcast which I mentioned that Boom, ctcher and Ian are on, Ian is on paternity leave. So that show is just kind of going dark right now, pinkies out crowd have nothing to nothing to talk about. But I was thinking how we can help that void. You know, I want to do something, I wanna feel something.
SLIM So there’s this movie on criterion channel. It’s been bandied about in the past. It’s a little long.
DANNY It’s been what?
SLIM It’s been bandied about in the past. And let me just get my complete thought out here because once I started, they’re going to probably crap their pants, their pantaloons.
DANNY My pants are around my ankles right now. [Slim laughs]
PROTO Take your time.
SLIM It’s a long movie, but the movie we’re going to be doing next week is part one of The Human Condition.
DANNY Excuse me?
SLIM This is a nine —
DANNY Part one?!
SLIM This is a nine hour trilogy. This is like historic Japanese cinema, the quote unquote ‘’the most staggering achievement in Japanese cinema humanist drama’’
DANNY Oh my god.
SLIM And everyone will just not shut up about it so like you know I gotta see this. So I bought the nine hour movie off of Barnes and Noble sale and it’s time. If people want to do the whole journey, they can but for now we’re doing part one. This is a three and a half hour movie. It was originally released in two parts, this part one. Part one is called No Greater Love from 1959. It’s streaming on Criterion —
DANNY It’s three parts story, the first part was also broken up into two parts?
SLIM That’s correct. Three movies and it was like released or aired in two parts, the first movie. Human Condition one. So I’m tired of hearing people talk about this. I want to experience it for myself. I want to feel something, part one, No Greater Love, The Human Condition. We’ll settle the score once and for all.
PROTO Wow. This has a 4.4 on Letterboxd.
SLIM That’s what I’m talking about.
DANNY That’s pretty low.
PROTO Has anyone gotten this high? [Slim laughs]
DANNY Sophs is right now.
SLIM So I’m not telling anyone to do the nine hour journey. If you join us on this journey and you know, you’re having a great time, by all means continue on. But that’s my pick. Okay? Pinkies out. Proto, how do you feel right now?
PROTO I feel great. I know some people are a little upset that it’s another long movie, you know, I picked Lawrence of Arabia. So that’s a lot but this, please remember, this is Freedom Month. This is the one month we get off to just have have freedom to pick a movie. So please, respect, respect us.
DANNY It’s not streaming?
SLIM Not where Matthew, not where Matthew lives. Unfortunately, I don’t think in New Zealand, Human Condition is streaming on any service. But perhaps there’s a local Barnes and Noble that it’s also doing a sale where you can grab that blu-ray.
PROTO This was, I was not expecting this at all. This is fantastic. This is amazing.
SLIM Okay, I’m excited.
SLIM 1959. You know, we’re trying to break it down for the people, people recommend this movie. It’s nine hours, you say, toss off. Is that a British slang?
DANNY I don’t think you can say that, Matt.
SLIM We just got kicked off Pocket Casts. [Danny laughs]
PROTO I said I started watching older movies again. Here we are!
SLIM We’re doing it. And then the week after that we got some big cooked up. Got some real big.
DANNY Real big.
SLIM You ain’t seen nothing yet. Michael Jackson is on stage with Lisa Marie Presley. And he’s like, you ain’t seen nothing yet. And then they make out on stage at the MTV Movie Awards. Proto, can you take us out for the week? Please.
PROTO I just wanted to hype again. You know, Letterboxd was just so much fun this week. One of the best experiences is you know, watching all these movies, is you watch the movie, you go on to Letterboxd and you read everyone on you know who you follow who’s watched it before you and you give them a like, you know? I’ve committed to myself that if I read someone’s review, I’m going to give them a like, I feel like it’s better just to, you know, acknowledge that you read the review. So I’ve kind of started down this road and you know what, it feels really great. Like, why not just give them the like? Tell them like, hey, I read your review. I’m not saying it’s my favorite review, but it was a great review. So Letterboxd was just a ton of fun this week. And yeah, thanks everybody for being on there and reading each other’s reviews.
SLIM We’ll see everybody next week for The Human Condition part one No Greater Love.
[70mm theme song ramps up, plays alone, fades out]
SLIM 70mm is a TAPEDECK production featuring original artwork provided by Danny Haas. Spiritual guidance and VGER, the robot who loves movies created by Protolexus. Producer emeritus Dale_a. Prints and other merch are available on 70mmpod.com. This episode was mixed, edited and produced by me, Slim. You can support our Patreon for access to the VHS Village Discord to talk movies with new friends, access to exclusive episodes, discounts on merch, and a physical membership card mailed to you. To check out other TAPEDECK podcasts, find the link in the episode notes. And if you’d like to support our friends at Letterboxd and upgrade to Pro or Patron status, you can do so with a 20% off discount using the links at 70mmpod.com. Goodbye!