Transcript: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)
Transcript of 70mm’s Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002) Episode.
SLIM Hey, it’s your old pal Slim and this is 70mm, a podcast for film lovers. Every Monday I sit down to talk about recently watched movies with my dear friend and artist, Danny Haas.
DANNY The shots of Coruscant with the sun setting are… sexual.
SLIM And our spiritual advisor, Protolexus
PROTO Oscar Isaac, I know people are always talking about him. Like “Daddy… his body… eughhh”
SLIM Sequels Month continues with the 20th anniversary to the day, May 16, of Star Wars: Episode II — Attack of the Clones. Was George Lucas, a true visionary with this film? Or does the bad dialogue drag the whole thing down? Let’s find out… now.
[70mm theme song ramps up, plays alone, fades out]
SLIM I kind of want to start the show with my pick for Sequels Month.
DANNY You want to go straight in? Alright.
SLIM This is a long time coming.
DANNY Excuse me.
SLIM Sequels Month.
DANNY I know what it is.
SLIM I’m sure you do. [Slim & Danny laugh] You know, the world is in turmoil right now. You see what’s going on outside. Democracy is dying. So we need to look to our heroes. You know? We need a hero. We need someone to make us feel good about ourselves.
DANNY Can you play the I Need A Hero music right now? [Slim laughs]
SLIM So I will be choosing maybe the greatest sequel of all time… Paddington 2 is our next episode. Officially. Now, Danny, I don’t think you’ve watched these yet, right?
DANNY I haven’t. And it was on my list to pick but I saw both of your reviews and I’m like, I can’t do it. Now I have seen the first one, first one’s a five bagger, easily. So I’m excited. I’ve held off on Paddington 2, my family has seen it. So I was excited to — cuz I figured at some point this movie is going to come across for this podcast. So, first time viewing.
SLIM You not having seen it was the driver.
DANNY Thank you. Appreciate that.
SLIM We need to experience something like Paddington 2 together as a group in the Year of our Lord 2022.
SLIM Sequels Month… I think it’s been going off swimmingly. Proto, how do you think it’s been going?
PROTO I mean, I was against this whole Sequels Month from the beginning, but you both want to do it. So here we are. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM Proto’s got his nightcap on, like, you know, it’s hanging off the side of his head. He’s got one foot and bed. Just a reminder… Last week’s announcement was The Road to Junassic World. We will be covering Dominion leading up to Dominion. Colin Trevorrow’s Jurassic World epic.
DANNY This was your idea, Silm, right?
SLIM I don’t know whose idea this was.
DANNY I think it was yours.
SLIM This might have been Proto’s idea.
SLIM Right, Proto?
PROTO Whoever came up with Sequels Month, I think that was their idea. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM Alright. Let’s switch gears. Danny, you saw Petite Maman and I want to hear your opinions on Celine Sciamma’s movie. My queen.
DANNY I saw the trailer for it when it first started like made circles and are made its rounds and Discord. And I remembered it a bit. I only watched the trailer the one time and then your review came in when you got to see it. So I was very excited because Celine is amazing. And this was probably the first time I don’t know if I’ve ever you know, actually kind of openly cried in a movie when I watched this film. I wasn’t really prepared for the story. I didn’t really know the story. I just saw the trailer didn’t really look into much of it. And you know that meme of the kid trying to hold the fart in. That was me trying to hold all my tears in watching this film. Celine’s kind of simple storytelling of a story that is a little bit heavy. It unlocked a lot of, I don’t know, a lot of grief that I’ve been holding on to for a while and dealing with, you know, my mother and stuff going on with my dad. And it just kind of was it for me and it just kind of opened up a lot. And by the end, I mean, the last shot and credits kind of rolling Casey kind of leans over and is like, “Are you okay?” And then I just I lost it. I wasn’t okay. Every everything built up to what I had been kind of holding deep, was let go. And this film will always kind of hold that kind of special place in my like cinema history. And I don’t think anyone else could have done this story as well as Celine did. I mean, it’s kind of masterful what she did. I don’t want to, I mean, I don’t want to spoil it because I didn’t know what it was going into it. But it’s great. It really is phenomenal.
SLIM Are movies the greatest thing ever?
DANNY Thank you.
PROTO Ask it.
DANNY So yeah, this movie, yeah, I this I don’t know if I’ve ever cried in a movie like I didn’t this one, but I did. And I wasn’t sure if I was gonna be able to talk about it. But I talked a lot with Casey about it or over text and it’s easier that way sometimes. And yeah, it was fantastic.
SLIM The gist of the movie that I knew going in was just like two young girls in the forest. Almost like play with in a tree house. And like her grandmother had just passed away. And That’s like all you need to go in and but there’s so much more in it. And hopefully Proto you can watch it in the in the not too distant future maybe when it’s available at home. Because I’d love to do like a more in depth discussion on it. Because it’s so beautiful.
DANNY It really is.
SLIM It’s therapeutic.
DANNY It’s short.
SLIM Yeah, short. It’s like 70 minutes or something.
DANNY Great runtime. Yeah, this is a fantastic movie. Celine’s one-two punch with Portrait and then this. I mean, hasn’t been done since George doing Episode I to Episode II. [Slim laughs] So it’s a big night for us.
SLIM Oh, Lord, I agree. Five banger for sure. Proto, did you watch any movies this week?
PROTO I watched a movie called Biutiful that came out in 2010 from Alejandro González Iñárritu. This is the same guy who directed movies such as Birdman, The Revenant. And I remember I vaguely remember watching the Oscars and seeing clips of this movie. I guess it was 2011. And being like, what is this movie? And then here I am 10 years later, more than 10 years later, finally watching it. And I was I was blown away by this movie stars Javier Bardem. He is I also don’t even know the role he he’s, it’s based in Spain. And he he basically performs like illegal activity, but he also is like he’s like helping people. He’s helping, like, illegal immigrants. So he kind of like does shady work, but he’s also very sacrificial in the work that he does. But this movie really was amazing. I’m glad I watched it. It’s a heavy movie. They kind of reminded me of, of moonlight in the way and like the emotional toll that a movie she’s through. But I think I think Alejandro is like a genius. You know, him and Alfonso Cuarón, I mean, they’re like, a dynamic duo, I think of of directors. There’s something in the water. You know, with those guys, I love this movie. It was it was gut wrenching at times, but it was also like really beautiful. And I love the movies I’ve seen this year so far. It’s like All That Jazz and this movie are the top of the heap for me.
SLIM The only two five star movies you’ve logged this year.
PROTO Only five star movies I’ve logged so far. But I mean, if you’re — it’s not an easy movie to consume. But if you’re up to the task, I think it’s well worth it.
SLIM Quote from his review, “Javier Bardem is phenomenal. Can we retroactively give him some awards?”
PROTO Yeah, who do I have to call? Do I have to make some calls?
SLIM That’s a real good question. We should say hello to some new friends on our Patreon, which we’re nearing 30 episodes, just for supporters in the 70mm Vault, which you get access to for signing up. And you get access to the VHS Village Discord. Listen live, get access to uncut episodes. So as David, Alex, Coby in Eva, and Bridget, all joined this week. And if you just want to get access to the supporter-only episodes you can sign up on Apple or Spotify and get access there too. I don’t know what made me watch it, but I watched Arnold Schwarzenegger Eraser this week on HBO Max.
DANNY I didn’t see that log come through.
SLIM Proto’s boy, Arnold. 1996. And it stars Arnold, Vanessa Williams and James Caan, believe it or not. Our boy. US Marshal John Krueger erases the identities of people enrolled in the witness protection program. His current assignment is protected Lee colin has uncovered evidence that the weapons manufacturer she works for has been selling to terrorist groups. That’s Vanessa Williams. This is, I wrote in my review, this is kind of like the beginning of the end for Arnold’s heyday like he had he had just done Terminator two comes out a Last Action Hero. True Lies, amazing film, very hard to track down unfortunately. Junior, where he gets preggers. And then he does the Eraser and then Jingle All the Way.
SLIM So that that might have been the real end of time.
PROTO Get that money.
DANNY Jingle is not the beginning of his downfall.
PROTO Get that paycheck.
DANNY No, no, no, no.
SLIM Kindergarten Cop actually comes out before all that I think. Kindergarten Cop is right after Total Recall and before T-2.
DANNY What’s after Jingle?
SLIM Batman & Robin.
DANNY No, what’s after that?
SLIM End of Day.
DANNY Alright, there’s the beginning of his downfall.
SLIM The Sixth Day, Collateral Damage, Terminator 4.
SLIM But I’m saying, Jingle All the Way and Eraser was kind of like, we’re starting to slip a little bit here, Arnorld…
DANNY We’re not slipping with Jingle! There’s no way!
SLIM Proto, what’s your thoughts on Jingle All the Way?
PROTO I vaguely remember. It’s been a long time.
SLIM [Slim does a questionable Schwarzenegger impression] Turbo Man! I do the Turbo Man!
DANNY Thank you. See? It’s good.
PROTO I mean, Christmas is right around the corner, maybe it’s time. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Oh my god. Soph has this logged as five stars.
DANNY Thank you Sophs.
SLIM “There’s something about Arnold Schwarzenegger playing a father figure that makes me deeply uncomfortable.” [Slim & Danny laugh] I don’t have this logged. I’m going to remove my BLB reading. I’ve been doing that. I don’t want to keep those up there.
DANNY Thank you.
SLIM I’m trying to see if anyone else in the Discord has this. Hannah has it at three stars. “You can definitely see why Anakin has anger issues.” Ohhh, look at that cast. Jake Lloyd is in Jingle All the Way.
SLIM Anakin himself.
PROTO I would do any Arnold movie.
DANNY Thank you.
PROTO Except for Last Action Hero. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Just before we move into Attack of the Clones, I’m not even sure if I said attack clones yet on this episode. But that’s our movie this week. Feature presentation.
DANNY 20th anniversary.
SLIM 20th anniversary. I’ll say that in the intro, make it sound smart.
DANNY Thank you.
SLIM Every week we give away a free year of Letterboxd Pro, gets rid of ads, gets end of the year stats a banner on your page, look all fancy. Disclaimer, I’m a Letterboxd employee. This week, it’s one of only Jashzilla on Twitter and in our Discord. Shared the Wong Kar-wai episode. “Kind of fell in love with Wong Kar-wai thanks to this episode, give it a listen.” Congratulations Jash. Anything else want to talk about before we get into the big one? Attack of the Clones?
PROTO The only other thing I started doing is have you guys watched the Oscar Isaac, Jessica Chastain Scenes from a Marriage show?
DANNY Oh, no. Seems heavy.
PROTO Yeah, it’s too heavy. It’s really good. Like first of all, Oscar Isaac. I know people are always talking about him. Like “Daddy… His body… eugghhh” [Danny laughs] But seriously, this guy’s hair is insane.
SLIM It’s good.
PROTO It’s ridiculous. Seriously. The content of the show is like fantastic but it also makes you like want to die. So I don’t think I’m gonna finish it. It’s so depressing. So, there’s that.
SLIM Let’s move to the opposite end of depressing and talk about Attack of the Clones, Episode II. We have a tier on Patreon. The interns tier. We release watchalongs, the three of us watch a movie together we record it. And wouldn’t it be great if there was a video attached to that? You know that audio? Wouldn’t it be great?
DANNY That’d be great, yeah.
SLIM Wouldn’t that be cool?
DANNY Yeah, it’d be rad.
SLIM So we originally recorded that episode, we thought, why don’t we also record like a full on episode of Attack of the Clones to and release that? And then by the end of that recording, we were too exhausted. And we said, let’s sit on that for a while. And we asked the interns if they were cool with it. So if he wants to listen to the two and a half hour audio of us watching Attack of the Clones, sign up on our Patreon. But Proto, Attack of the Clones. Is it time to hear your synopsis?
[music from Star Wars plays]
PROTO A long time ago. In a galaxy far, far away. There was one little boy who became a big boy, was given a laser sword. Someone is trying to assassinate Senator Amidala and Obi Wan and Anakin Skywalker must protect her. Obi Wan gets a lead from the guy from Treasure Planet in goes to the planet Kamino where a clone army that the Senate forgot about is being grown. 10 Morrow, Morris and his boba are there and Obi Wan somehow knows they are bad guy. They get away, but Obi Wan tracks them. Meanwhile, Anakin and Padme are desperately in love and bone off screen. And Ken wants to find his mother. So he kills a lot of people. We get a couple smoke shows from Mama dolla. They all meet back up at Geonosis for a Royal Rumble. The opening battle of the clone wars between the completely inept Jedi and the extremely deadly droid army that the separatists have formed. The Clone Wars begin Anakin and Padma get married and the fall of the Republic begins.
SLIM We’re not talking about just this year. May 16 is the 20th anniversary of Attack of the Clones being released. Danny knew. This has been on our calendar for a little bit. You’re always ahead of the game.
DANNY I’ve been planning this since we planned the podcast, two years ago. [Slim laughs] It’s the long con, to do Attack of the Clones on this show.
SLIM Can smoke show stay on the podcast? I’m gonna have to check our our bylaws, the 70mm bylaws, to see if that’s gonna stay in. Gosh. I’m trying to think of where we even start because we sat down to watch this. I don’t know who was like two months ago, two and a half months ago, we watched the tag cleanse the other amazing time when a moment amazing time I full disclosure. I’m not saying a video exists with our audio attached to you know, wouldn’t be cool if the movie was attached to our audio. Yeah, he just watched the file. So for the half of this movie, I actually just watched our watchalong, listen to her, watch it live. I listened. I listened to it. There’s no video. I listened to our watch along. And then officially, I fired up the 4k version and hit play on the podcast. And I had the most amazing time laughing with the three of us watching this movie. It was like I was reliving it. It was so much fun to go back and listen to that. So that’s my little precursor. Proto, you said DNF in your Letterboxd review. You want to elaborate?
PROTO I did. Yeah, I tried watching this again. But every time I thought about watching it, I just really couldn’t do it. So I did make it to the scene… I made it to the scene where Obi-Wan, he calls Yoda on the intercom from Kamino.
SLIM That’s like 20 minutes into the movie.
PROTO Yeah, wherever that is. That’s as far as I made it. But I saw it within two months ago. So it’s fine!
SLIM The 20th anniversary.
DANNY This is the 20th anniversary.
PROTO This week?
DANNY 20 years ago. Where were you 20 years ago?
SLIM I was in theaters checking this out. I probably had last row. You know this, I’m a big fan of getting the last row in theatres. I’ve been crucified for desiring to sit in the last row of a smaller theater.
PROTO I’ll keep crucifying. I’ll crucify you again. [Danny & Slim laugh]
SLIM You got a small theater, who cares with the last row? You can see everything!
PROTO You’re not seeing Attack of the Clones in a small theatre, Slim. Listen, small town PA, Huntington Valley represent. Okay? You make due with what you got. There sticky floors, your shoes come off when you’re walking on these floors. They stay in place.
PROTO Everyone’s lost a pair of shoes in the theater.
SLIM Exactly. Danny Where were you? May 16.
DANNY I was there man. And I was thinking I don’t know if there was a time where I was this excited about a sequel coming out. Because how Episode I landed for me? I think episode two. I had the bar very high. Because by the time I finished Episode I, I had already I just started my binge into the Star Wars universe watching the original trilogy after that. I was gung ho Star Wars at that moment in my life and so episode two coming out. Nothing could have been grander for me. So yeah, I was really hyped for this film. I was there opening night. Wasn’t gonna miss this.
SLIM Yo_Ev is saying “I hope one of them dressed up.” Proto, did you dress up when you saw Attack of the Clones?
PROTO No, definitely not. I’ve never dressed up for any movie. Maybe someday. Sounds like fun. Matrix Resurrections 2.
SLIM Do you remember you experiencing Attack of the Clones?
PROTO I don’t. I have like no memory of this movie coming out. I’m sorry. I saw it in theater, I’m sure, but I have no memory at all.
DANNY I remember the fanfare hitting right after the Lucasfilm, right after A long time ago… and the amount of lightsabers that hit the air turned on in a theater. It was fantastic. Just the feel of being in an opening night Star Wars I miss it.
SLIM Were people making the noises when they threw the lightsabers in the air to probably?
DANNY No, Slim. You don’t have to make fun of them.
SLIM I’m one of those people. I’m a nerd, okay?!
DANNY But yeah, yeah, big night.
SLIM Alright, so I also just want to point out too, maybe folks haven’t listened to previous Star Wars episodes. Maybe this is the first time, welcome. 20th anniversary Attack of the Clones.
DANNY Thank you for staying with us.
SLIM Danny has said in the past The Phantom Menace was your first Star Wars. So I just want to I always think that’s a very fascinating story and that’s what drew you into the franchise. So what’s your first note on on this rewatch of Attack of the Clones?
DANNY My first note is anytime I think of Attack of the Clones, my favorite thing that continues to be a part of this and come out of this is John Williams score and his track Across the Stars is I think it’s finally solidified itself as my favorite track in all of the Star Wars universe. I think it’s such a beautiful it’s a beautiful love song for the love between Anakin and Padme. And every time it plays in the film, it’s perfect. Anytime I listen to it outside the film, it’s just kind of I don’t know it just really is a gorgeous track and whenever whenever I hear it I think of attack at home I think of Anakin or Padma I think of the love between the two and it just really is a beautiful song and that’s that’s my first note is John Williams did not have to go this hard for his fifth Star Wars movie.
[Across the Stars by John Williams plays]
SLIM Yeah, you I remember in the watchalong audio you had pointed out I had the volume so low and subtitles on, I don’t think I heard it but on this rewatch I definitely heard it this time around and it is very good. Marcie says “When I saw John live a couple of weeks ago…” Name drop. “That was the first song he had the orchestra play.”
DANN Oh my gosh.
PROTO I can’t even tell you what Across the Stars is. [Slim laughs]
DANNY It’s playing right now. And you’ll hear it Monday.
SLIM Yeah you’ll hear it in the edit of that episode, my friend. What’s your number one Proto?
PROTO My number one is whatever the faults you might have about this movie is I really love and when we watch this together, I was like blown away by some of the backgrounds in this movie. Like there are some really gorgeous like painted backgrounds and this and you know whatever you want to say about, you know, George and how he handled the prequels. He took like his original trilogy, and he expanded the universe in this trilogy in some amazing ways, like just introducing new, like, you know, new races of people, new cultures, different ships, different buildings, like all the different stuff that’s added. I remember like losing my mind seeing like the clone trooper like carriers. And like just the battlement armaments that came down just thinking like, this is like so amazingly cool. Like the fact that they had like these giant walking tanks. It’s like, why are they walking? Right? Like, it looks so good, that it doesn’t really matter. And the fact that, like, they went so hard in the original trilogy, and it’s iconic. And I feel like they, they did it in this one too. And like the stuff that’s shown in this, like, I love all the ships in this I just, like love everything about like, that’s, that’s built on top of what he already had. And I think it’s, it’s amazing that they that they were able to just like continue that.
SLIM Yeah. So I didn’t start the 4k version until like, maybe two thirds of the way in. And I remember during our watch, we watched I think we all we both all three of us watched on our laptops. And during the watchalong we kind of like juggling said like, this probably looks really bad or really good and 4k and the backgrounds in a terrible hands. They might be the best looking I’ve ever seen in any Star Wars trilogy movie. Like I was stunned seeing this on my fork at my budget GCL series five TV. They looked insane. Yeah, so like the scenes you know, obviously the green screen stuff still looks really bad like the Jedi Council sauna room. That stuff like with the lights like George you messed it messed up with the lights, but the backgrounds of like Geonosis OB trying to find that construction scene that Danny at us it’s mind blowing, how good it looked. So good.
DANNY The shots of Coruscant with the sun setting are… sexual. I can’t get over how gorgeous they are in this film.
SLIM Yeah, I mean, this leads, I don’t know if I want to segue into which point, but I guess my first note is the CGI. You know, infamously this movie. He went so hard into CGI, green screen, blue screen. That’s like the story of the making this movie, no one was near like a set, you know, on the scene, all those memes of the Jedi doing their thing in a group. It looks terrible. But in our discussion, we all talked about how like this is 20 years ahead of its time, like George was so far ahead of any filmmaker. It was like mind boggling to me in our first watch as a group. And then in this watch, he everything he was doing is just like, everyone’s kind of like George Lucas Star Wars crater. But like, he didn’t just like push the envelope. Like he eviscerated the envelope in this movie, in my opinion, compared to like what was being done in 2002. I feel like he doesn’t get enough credit now. Like, and I bust his chops all the time. But like, he was doing some mind blowing stuff at this moment.
DANNY And that’s the thing like he’s a visionary person. Like he really is. I mean, we talk about we make fun of like the poetry line and all that kind of stuff. But visionary is what he really is. He’s not and he’s a great storyteller. I mean, we want we can jab at are the is the dialogue like he’s not. He’s not a script writer. And where I think the fault was, is no one wanted to tell George “No.” Like, no one wants to be like the person that was like, “George, this script is rough. Okay, buddy? Let’s give it to someone else to make another pass” At this point, I mean, episode one is still probably pretty well regarded and coming into two. He’s doing whatever he wants, and no one’s gonna stop him because everyone wants to be a part of this no matter what. And so I just feel like it does get overlooked because of the one flaw and that’s really the writing in this film. But the stuff that he was doing to make this film is game changing for many future films.
PROTO Yeah. And without knowing like much of the history of this or like, you know, but just speaking generally, like that’s usually what happens in terms of like an industry, when you want to push it forward. Someone has to like take those steps to, you know, create the tech that makes it possible and it has there has to be like a first movie or someone who’s pushing, like you said, pushing the envelope to get this stuff on screen. Yeah. And it’s, it’s not all going to work. And this happens in like this has happened over the past, you know, 20, 30 years and in a lot of different industries, you know, to push the envelope and to make new tech because like, that’s what they were doing, like they were, you know, inventing ways of doing this like doing things people haven’t done before. So yeah, it’s I mean, it’s a risk, but it’s, it pays off.
SLIM Danny, what’s your number two?
DANNY Oh my gosh, so many notes. I love Ewan McGregor. And I think even with what we think of the bad dialogue, I think his delivery of Obi-Wan in this is almost flawless. I love his Obi in this film. I mean, he is quite I mean, quite frankly, the star of this film. I think he carries this entire movie on his shoulders. His performance is so good. I love his kind of detective solving whatever the story is of the bounty hunter and being on Camino and his his fistfight with with with Django and there’s just so much about Obi in this that I really love. And I think it it makes what he is in Episode III even greater.
SLIM He looks gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.
DANNY When he’s all wet with that slicked back hair… [Slim laughs] Are you kidding me right now? It better rain in this Obi-Wan TV show coming out.
SLIM Maybe there’s one scene where he’s coming out of the shower, he’s not wearing nine robes. He’s maybe wearing like one robe over bare chest. You know? This is what the people want on Disney+.
DANNY It’s what the people want!
PROTO There’s so many like cute moments in this to have just like foreshadowing of like, you know, why do I feel you’re going to be the death of me? The whole, the whole theater just like giggling to themselves.
SLIM Yeah, he’s really good. I had fun too rewatching where it looked like they had done some reshoots where they had to glue on a beard. [Slim laughs] Two different beards. They were brutal. I’m still excited for the Obi show. I’m nervous. You know, but I’m excited. I hope it still is great. And I hope it’s all what we’re asking for out of these two characters. Proto, number two?
PROTO Number two. Padmé…
SLIM Here we go.
PROTO You know, her decolletage… [Danny laughs]
DANNY Is that a word?
PROTO Her costumes. The backless gown that she wears when they’re in Naboo. The Goth Queen seductress. The white body suit. I mean, come on. I mean, how many young boys discovered that they were men watching this movie? It’s just insane. I mean, and like watching this again. I was like, I was like brought back to like, oh my gosh, am I in love with Natalie Portman again? [Danny & Slim laugh]
SLIM I mean, imagine being Anakin. We talked about this. Like, so this is like the first girl he’s ever been near. And it’s Natalie Portman. And she’s Goth Queen seductress. She’s wearing like nightgown negligee day. It’s gonna be the most difficult situation ever for Anakin at that point. I’d been losing my mind! And he’s a Jedi. He can’t even like look at her, lest he be kicked out of the Order.
PROTO I think we were laughing about that scene where like the next morning after the seductress ever like you know like she she’s in her like yeah, she’s like in her in her like night gown coming out to her like, Annie, we can’t do this. It’s like Padme, can you put something else on?
SLIM Padme, I’ve never touched a woman! I’m a Jedi. Please! Imagine going through puberty as a Jedi in that moment. Oh my god. The scenes were insane. We were just making, some of the looks she was shooting him. Where where he murders the Tuscans, the women, the children, everyone. She’s almost like more turned on in that moment. Like holy crap, Padme.
[clip of Attack of the Clones plays]
SLIM She needs some time, is what she needs. He did just murdered entire clan. Oh my god, but those are my favorite scenes in the movie. They’re cracking me up, the two of them. I don’t know how he does it. I don’t know how he did it.
DANNY He made his move quick.
SLIM He did. He did. Alright, my number two, let’s see. I did have Padme and Anny’s relationship, her outfit. He’s never been with a woman. This is one of the one of my notes that I had written down. We watched this but we need a Disney+ Lucas series of some kind. Or like a Legend series like Disney legit like Star Wars Legends was kind of like the sub stories of like everything else outside of the Skywalker BS. Like I want more. I want more from Lucas still. I know he sold the stuff for like, let’s get a Lucas podcast. Let’s get someone interviewing someone — that’s not Jon Favreau — let’s get someone interviewing Lucas, about the making of the prequels were a season on each movie, we interview people that were like in charge of Production Design, capital P, capital D. And just like, Let’s go further. Let’s we have all these resources for Disney+, I want more. Like, let’s go back. Let’s have a retrospective on all this stuff. When you just eat that stuff up, Proto?
PROTO Could you imagine if, if George had alternate ideas for this story. And he could just like, they could just interview him and he could talk about it. But then just have concept artists, like take his words, and just like come up with scenes for like this other content that he’s thinking like he had ideas of, I would like even love that. You know, just to hear like, what was George thinking? You know, what was his? What was his first draft? Or like, what was ideas that he abandoned? Or, you know, things that he was thinking of? I would love to hear that.
DANNY I think there’s the Directors Guild podcast, and a lot of the hosts I feel like Rian Johnson does a lot of the hosting on that, or at least a couple that I’ve heard and I would love Ryan to interview George. It’d be an amazing ep.
SLIM He probably wants nothing to do with Star Wars at this point.
DANNY Rian, no… Or George? [Danny laughs]
SLIM Maybe both. I don’t know. But definitely not Rian. I’m not gonna go deep into it. But I think it was The Rise of Skywalker came out like the only thing you know, he tweeted was that picture of Rose, the actress who played Rose. The name escapes me. Yeah, because she like yeah, she was like sidelined and a third one and that’s like his only comment. He like posted like a photo of her on the red carpet.
DANYN Kelly Tran.
SLIM Yeah, Kelly Tran. I’m just saying, Disney+. You know? Give us more.
DANNY Get George back. I want George back. That’s what I want. I want George back.
SLIM I want less live action Ahsoka. I want more Legend stuff. Because that I think that’s why I read it when we were looking into the history of the Sith Lords and I found some of the storylines of Han and Leia’s kids from the books before they retconned all of it like he had twins they both had twins. Jason I think it was Jason Solo turned to the dark side and became a Sith because he saw a vision that said if he didn’t become a Sith his family would be murdered and I thought that was the coolest thing ever. Like and then even Proto, I think he said let’s give us a more animated series like Visions. Oh yeah, people want episodes storyline of like some of the stuff that’s that’s already out there and about be so rad. Proto’s turn.
PROTO I just I never I never find it not funny. The idea that the Republic and the Jedi just lose all record of a gigantic clone army being grown on a planet… What do you guys think about that? [Slim & Danny laugh] It’s just like this is like a main plot point that like oh There’s this army for us that’s been, they’ve been growing for years and years, like 2030 years. Oh, no one knew about this.
SLIM It had to be the largest transaction in Jedi Council history. Right? Like they’re creating a clone army.
DANNY They didn’t take payment until it was done. There wasn’t cash up front.
PROTO What a way to go.
SLIM The Jedi Council stuff in the movie is probably my least favorite stuff. Like when the moments that show that the Jedi are just so clueless to what a government is potentially capable of, you know, and just being so trustworthy and being like these cops for these do we politicians? Were all real frustrating, like anytime Samuel Jackson was on screen, and they’re just kind of like, ruminating on what they should do. And they do nothing. It’s like God, like wake up, Yoda, wake up. You’re 900 years old and you’re not seeing some of the stuff coming. Please. Danny doesn’t agree with me.
DANNY No, I don’t. Is it my turn? Another one of the things I love is Obi’s and Anakin’s relationship in this film. And I like how we see where they’re at after him. Picking up the reins from Qui Gon and training, Anakin and I like how they’re just as buddy-buddy kind of brothers. They’ve been through it. They’re funny with each other there. They get mad at each other. But it always makes me wonder. Because Obi Wan is a bad master. Like he’s a bad trainer of Anakin. And it shows the way he responds to Anakin in person. And I just feel like if Anakin didn’t have Obi-Wan as a master, would Anakin be become a bit of become Vader and it’s always something I think about when I see this film. There’s just moments between the two of them that I mean, I like the story. I don’t want it to change. I just, it’s very interesting that Obi-Wan wasn’t ready to train Anakin, after Qui Gon’s death. And it’s very obvious in this film, that he just wasn’t the right master for Anakin.
PROTO Yeah, in Phantom Menace, doesn’t Qui-Gon even says that Anakin is too old to be trained. Does he say that?
SLIM Yeah, he does I think.
DANNY Yeah, it does. Yeah, Yoda says that Anakin is too old to be trained. And that’s why he kind of gets passed off after Qui Gon’s death. I love the relationship in this film. I really do. And it shows it shows on and off screen you win and hate and have I mean, I’ve watched a bunch of the making of VHS and the two of them together. I’m happy they’re back together for this TV show.
SLIM Yeah, I’m really hopeful that there’s like just a ton of Anakin stuff that they obviously wouldn’t show in any of these teasers, but would love to see exactly what you said like maybe some remorse or regret from Obi with Anakin. You know? Maybe they had secret meetings, secret Force meetings.
DANNY I would give anything for flashbacks. Just little de-aging flashbacks of the two of them together at some point. I mean, it’s just hard. I love this era of Star Wars so much. That it’s just… my expectations for this TV show are very high, and I can’t help it. I honestly can’t help it.
PROTO I’m 90% sure they’re gonna ruin it.
SLIM I mean, is there any story reason why they couldn’t have had dyad meetings?
DANNY No, no, no, no, there’s not.
SLIM Is there like, oh, I haven’t seen you in 30 years, Anakin. They never said that in A New Hope or whatever.
DANNY Yeah. But I mean, a presence he hasn’t felt in a long time as kind of a line that Vader says. Well, yeah, you’re not wrong. I mean, it is hinted that Vate that Anakin and Obi haven’t been around each other in a while but he’s also very old, much older in A New Hope. So they could have had dealings in I mean, obviously they’re gonna have it.
SLIM Imagine a full episode of them just having a conversation for 45 minutes over tea. Three hours. Yeah. And it came with like, his cube, his his his healing cube was back in at Obi’s in some kind of hut you know? Golly, golly, gee whiz. What’s my last one for this viewing? I’m gonna go through my dimensions real quick use the use the Force bro in caps was one of my notes. The Jedi in general in this movie, it like compared to and I know every Star Wars nerd probably turns people off by saying oh, the Clone Wars. You got to watch the Clone Wars. You got to watch rebels. But it’s true, but the Jedi in those shows, like when you watch that, and then you see the Jedi in this movie, it’s like a different world. Every Jedi in this movie just is so lame. Every lightsaber battle, it looks like a dry run that they filmed and just put it in the movie. It’s just such a bummer to see it on like a large scale, like millions and millions and millions of people saw this movie. And this was like the best for the gentleman. It’s just kind of a bummer when I think about it.
PROTO The Coliseum scene is catastrophic. In terms of like the Jedi performing it is yeah, like, it looks like a dry run it. It looks like it was everyone it was dress rehearsal. Everybody was in costume. And they were like, Hey, everybody, you know what that was a good take. We’re just we’re just gonna put that in the movie actually. So, but I was just I wasn’t really swinging my the saver. I was just kind of just going through them. No, it’s okay, we’re gonna go with it. Like it looks so terrible. As if they none of them have worked out. They have no sense of their bodies. It’s just terrible.
SLIM It’s like that scene that people were sharing that Kurt’s always shares from the Boba Fett series that one guy did the spin move. Like with his gun, you did that spin me with his gun. It was like meaningless. Like that’s like all of this movie. And I know I said that the 4k of the backgrounds are like the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. But there there is still some stuff that just doesn’t hold up like the CGI of Dooku. And friends like on that pedestal looking down at the Coliseum. Like that doesn’t hold up. Like really at all. And also the Dooku scene the Duke and fight scene. What I’m going to touch on that the big fight scene, where he defeats and again and then compared to the Phantom Menace fight scene, like the greatest lightsaber fight scene of all time, it’s just like a different level. It doesn’t really compare unfortunately, but you could say like the Yoda fight scene is like the answer to that but you know, it’s just my my last note like I wish there was more badass those moments.
DANNY It is hard because we see what Obi is capable of fighting Maul, the speed, the fight. I mean, I don’t understand the reason why his he couldn’t have attacked Dooku the same way but it is a rough scene, I will give you that.
SLIM Remember the scene where they’re doing like the fanning motions with their lightsabers in the darkness?
DANNY Okay… that’s a part of the… okay. [Slim laughs] I can’t.
PROTO Go ahead…
SLIM Danny’s standing down on defending that scene.
DANNY I just, I can’t.
SLIM That’s my last point. Who’s ready for honorable mentions and rating? Maybe let’s go to Proto first.
PROTO You know, there’s a lot of good dialogue in this movie. A lot of quotable lines, that’s mostly what I wrote down. Just a lot of different lines. The memes of this movie are endless, there’s so much stuff that’s been made about it
DANNY Can I cut in real quick? Chats going nuts about this apple scene. It’s a pear, people. It’s a pear, not an apple scene. And I think everyone needs to wake up in chat, in live chat right now. I need them to check themselves and wake up. And I’m sorry I had to cut in, Proto. I can only take this for so long.
PROTO Should I kick Ian out? I would really love to kick him right now. [Slim laughs]
DANNY Thank you. Continue, please with your thoughts. I apologize.
PROTO The other thing is the sound design in this movie is really incredible. We talked about in the wash along but the scene of the in the asteroid field, the seismic charges. Whatever that effect is, it’s one of the best sound effects of all time. I love that. There’s so much to like about this movie. But it really is a slog to me and I’m like what’s the opposite of pleasantly surprised? Every time I watch this I’m like like this there’s no Clone Wars in this. You know, you get clone wars in the last five minutes of this movie, really. So I’m still it’s two stars for Attack of the Clones.
SLIM Two stars. Wow, that’s pretty high.
DANNY Excuse me?
SLIM This viewing, so I think I might have been one and a half stars for our watchalong. I think I might have rated not on it, but I might have like logged and give rating. But this viewing I really did appreciate the beauty of the backgrounds. And you know, the 4k versions of the backgrounds are really gorgeous. Like, I want more in those cities. But unfortunately, it still is a slog. And the animated shows are better. So I’m at two stars for Attack of the Clones. 20th anniversary.
DANNY Alright. Let me go through my honorable mentions. Let’s see. Oh, another point I wanted to make about Obi-Wan being a bad master, it is easy to see how quick Anakin can turn when you have someone like Palpatine who is continually telling Anakin how great he is. The most gifted Jedi, the most powerful Jedi since Yoda. I mean, it’s so easy to see how quick you can turn to the dark side when you have Palpatine just manipulating him so spectacularly well.
SLIM Isn’t one of the reasons to start in Rome. But like the reason he kind of sticks with Palpatine because he has to learn how to save Padme’s life?
DANNY That’s in the next movie. He starts having visions of her death. And he wants to find out how to save so that’s that famous Palpatine GIF where I’m looking over the shoulder at him. Let’s see, there’s two moments in this film. I wish were just completely taken out. And I think it would save this movie. The assembly line scene drives me nuts every time we get to it. It is so unnecessary in this movie, like completely unnecessary. Get it out of here. That’s 15 minutes of this movie erased.
SLIM Remember they showed her in the tub? The same shot three times.
DANNY I just, I can’t. And then the execution scene. There’s no need for that at all. In this film. It’s too long. The three animals take 15 minutes to walk up to the to the three of them. It is it is it’s just it’s my two biggest gripes of this film. I hate those scenes.
SLIM Make kisses the back of Anakin when she gets on the back of him right in front of okay
DANNY like that but let’s just put them in front of a firing squad and make this go a little faster. These animals drive me nuts they take forever to get there. How about Anakin wearing the robes he murdered all of the same people with to his wedding? The amount of murder he committed in those robes, he marries Padma with.
PROTO To honor his mother.
SLIM Probably she was still turned on by the whole thing. She’s like, wear the robes.
DANNY Oh, you’re right.
PROTO And then after… Tie me up like.
DANNY Oh my god. You did not you keep your head down. Ever.
PROTO Cut the stream.
DANNY I’m five stars. Let’s move on. Five stars
SLIM are Attack of the Clones. 20th anniversary. Star Wars Episode Two. I do remember enjoying the Sith? The third one Revenge of the stuff.
DANNY Oh, you remember when we get there?
SLIM It’s a good question. Maybe it’ll be the next watchalong. Maybe not.
DANNY I do love watching Star Wars with my friends.
SLIM Yeah, the the poster for that one. I remember all the whispers up ahead of time like these. They figured it out. They’re finally ready for this trilogy. Going out with a bang. Oh boy. What a picture. Talking about clones. What a picture. We have some feedback to get to this week. You can DM us shoot us an email 70 Min pod.com Leave us a VM. Let me get it open right now. Our dubs sent us DM this week about our Godfather sequel sequels month Kafala part to kick things off just listen to your Godfather Part Two episode Great listen. Happy to hear you all appreciate it photos scenes, John cuz Xiao Zhi khazali Because it’s probably not because Ali because now because zeal. joncas zeal was an amazing actor who’d only done a handful of films before his untimely death yet, of those few most are AFI is top 100 films of all time. interesting conversation, deer hunter and this seminal Dog Day Afternoon, which started out you know, based on the true events of bank robbery, where the real life where the real life robbers actually watched The Godfather in the theater before the heist to get the courage to attempt the robbery, life imitating art and then art imitating life that’s well Dubs. Because sale in says can’t trust has quite a filmography. I remember deer hunter. I remember really liking deer hunter when I was younger. That was like one of those films that I tracked down when I was younger and really enjoyed it. Pretty ever seen deer on?
PROTO No that’s been on my list for so long though. And love to watch that someday. What if? What if we were just allowed to pick movies on this podcast? Number dammit.
SLIM We’re almost wrapped up the Harry Potter journey. We don’t have any more counsel picks. What if maybe we take a couple of weeks off from bonus apps and then pro gets to pick a movie that he wants to do just for supporters? He hates it he’s not moved whatsoever. He hasn’t even moved on camera. It’s like his cameras frozen.
PROTO That won’t happen. This is all just anybody else falling for this I’m sorry.
SLIM Next week Paddington to Danny will finally watch her show for the last time streaming right now I think I hope streaming on little service called HBO Max. Toy now. Are you gonna watch out with your family?
DANNY Me Pro? Probably.
SLIM Gonna get the note that no Dippin Dots at a time.
PROTO More rolling.
DANNY Is that right? That’s a red zone it is mom remember the first move
PROTO we’ll see if I if I stay awake the whole time this time
SLIM Alright. Sequels Month continues on with Paddington 2 next week. Proto, can you take us out any closing words?
PROTO I really don’t have anything other than I don’t know if we’re gonna do Revenge of the Sith.