Transcript: Speed Racer (2008)
Transcript of 70mm’s Speed Racer (2008) Episode.
SLIM Heeeyy, it’s your old pal Slim and this is 70mm, a podcast for film lovers. Every Monday, I’m joined by famous artist Danny Haas.
DANNY [Danny wheeze/laughs for 5 seconds]
SLIM And spiritual advisor, Protolexus.
PROTO You know, sometimes Danny pisses me off. He doesn’t take Letterboxd seriously. And I don’t like it.
SLIM And together as friends forever, we discuss recently watched movies. This episode, we’re kicking off Blockbusted month — movies that underperformed at the box office, big time. I chose 2008’s Speed Racer from the Wachowskis. Box office dud or visual feast for the eyesss? Let’s dig in… now.
[theme music ramps up, plays alone, fades out]
PROTO I have an update to give.
DANNY Oh my.
PROTO People have been asking about this constantly… for… I think the better part of a year. People have been wanting to know when are we going to cover Mortal Engines?
DANNY Oh my gosh.
PROTO And I have an update.
DANNY Oh no.
PROTO It’s coming soon. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Excuse me?
PROTO It’s, it’s on the list of movies to do — yes, Forrest, it’s right around the corner.
SLIM Is that the update?
PROTO That’s the update. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Ohh-ho-ho. Right around the corner!
PROTO It’s right around the corner.
SLIM Mortal Engines. Oft requested, really early on, that might have been like our fourth episode?
SLIM But we changed path.
PROTO Yeah, we don’t have a date for it yet, a specific date, but — it’s coming.
SLIM But it’s coming.
PROTO It’s coming.
SLIM Appreciate your bravery.
PROTO Seat of my pants. [Slim laughs]
SLIM You want to talk about bravery? Should we just get into the topic right now? Godzilla vs Kong? Right off the bat.
DANNY I wanna hear you two. I haven’t watched it yet, but you can talk about it. Go for it.
SLIM Spoiler free!
DANNY I mean, can you spoil this movie?
SLIM I mean spoilers, Godzilla and Kong fight.
SLIM I’m just gonna try to keep it as spoiler free as possible. I you know, my past with these legendary movies is well known. The first two Godzilla movies, didn’t cut the mustard for me. Kong: Skull Island, though, did. And let me tell you something. This movie cuts the mustard. Big time. I gave it five stars.
DANNY Wait, is ‘cuts the mustard’ good for you?
SLIM Oh I guess I hate mustard, so I guess it’s bad. But in general phrasing terms, cutting the mustard is considered a good thing. Cutting the muster. Mustering the custard.
PROTO Can you even cut mustard? [Danny & Slim laugh]
SLIM Let me try a different way to say it.
DANNY Say it.
SLIM This…ticks all the boxes for me.
PROTO How’s this compared to Shin Godzilla for you?
SLIM Um, here’s how I view it.
SLIM Big picture view. You know? 100 foot view. I sat — my son and I have been waiting for this movie for like three years. When they first announced it I was like, “James they’re making a Godzilla vs King Kong movie!” You know, years go by. So I told him the Wednesday morning I was like, “James, it’s coming out today. 5:30, we’re watching this.” So 5:30 rolled around, he’s like up in my room screaming, he’s like “Godzilla vs Kong! We gotta watch it!” So we had a great time. I loved it!
SLIM It’s — I think technically I gave it more, a half star more than Shin Godzilla.
DANNY Shooo. Shoo. Shoo. Shoo.
SLIM I had a lot of fun, the whole time, I was just so entertained. Even the silly stuff I was just cracking up enjoying and compared to the other Godzilla movies, the human stuff, imo, stunk. But in this one —
DANNY I was wondering if you want to whine about the human stuff as well.
SLIM First of all, calm down. I can hear it already, you’re on the attack.
DANNY Just wanted to know.
SLIM Your claws are out. [Danny laughs] But this time around, I thought the human stuff was fine. They had good actors.
DANNY Millie Bobby?
SLIM I’m not talking about Millie Bobby, in particular. Proto, what is you — what’s your vibe? You gave it three?
PROTO My god, good actors?! [Danny laughs] This is a reason why, when you even have just a, you know, a mindless blockbuster, summer blockbuster movie, you get a big name because they can act. The cast was terrible in this I think the human parts are worse than King of the Monsters.
SLIM Oh my God!
DANNY My God.
PROTO So bad.
SLIM Rebecca Hall, ever heard her?
PROTO This is actually a — who? Which one was she? [Danny laughs]
SLIM The main female actress of the movie. [Slim laughs]
PROTO I finished it yesterday and I’ve already forgotten.
SLIM Feel sick.
PROTO This is a two star movie but —
PROTO Because of the greatest monster of all time, Kong. He raised it up a whole star to three. It’s it’s worth seeing just for him and what he does, but it’s pretty bad. You know? 50% of the movie is complete garbage. [Slim & Danny laugh] Apart from the monsters. It’s worth it though! It really is. It’s pretty incredible.
DANNY Ohhhh man. This time, tomorrow night. I’ll be getting out of the theater. Seeing Kong vs Godzilla.
SLIM I’m excited to hear what Danny thinks.
PROTO Big screen.
SLIM Danny, you gave King of Monsters five stars, right?
DANNY No! Did I? No.
SLIM Four stars?
DANNY It’s gotta be four. It’s so much fun!
SLIM Torin in chat. He is pissed. Torin is — I think he gave this movie like a half star. And he’s furious. He was linking to Wikipedia articles about the movie, the bad writing. He wants to slap somebody in the mouth about this movie. But I agree that this is — I’m fine with you know, Proto giving this movie three stars. This is like, never been done. I wouldn’t have expected it. I’m pretty pleased with that rating. I had a lot of fun.
DANNY Interesting. I’m glad.
SLIM Thank you. Danny, did you watch any movies this week?
DANNY Mhm! Yeah, I watched a lot of movies this week. This, you know, you picked Speed Racer on a perfect week for me because Sunday was, you know, opening day for F1 racing. I’m an F1 fan. So I jumped into a bunch of racing movies. I watched Le Mans with Steve McQueen.
SLIM Is that French?
DANNY Sure. And I really liked it, I gave it three stars it. It has very little dialogue in it. It’s a lot of walking and racing, which you would think would be great. But it just was weird and okay, but the racing bits were a lot of fun to watch and Steve McQueen’s cool. I watched Grand Prix. And that movie was on my radar because of the book you bought me, Slim, the Saul Bass book. And he does a bunch of the title treatments. And it’s just, it is, I gave that five stars. It is a gorgeous movie.
SLIM Oh my God.
DANNY Like it’s, the cinematography of that film is unreal. There were so many scenes where I just, I just couldn’t figure out — I mean, you could — I just couldn’t figure out how they did it back then, of the cars. And it was as beautiful. Like it was a beautiful movie. It’s really long, but I just enjoyed it. It’s great. And then I watched Rush with Thor and the other guy from one of the Marvel movies. And that was the —
SLIM The one that sings? Is it Hawkeye?
DANNY I don’t know, Zemo?
DANNY No. Uhh.. Brühl. Daniel Brühl. It’s a great movie. Rush was a lot of fun. It’s a really good story. I knew of only a bit of the the rivalry from the F1 stories and knew about the crash but it’s great. It’s a great movie.
SLIM Yeah, I was gonna ask, Mel brought up Bullitt in chat. Have you ever seen Bullitt?
DANNY A lot. I’ve seen Bullitt quite a bit. I love Bullitt. Bullitt’s a lot of fun. That was on one of my early lists for the show. To do Bullitt on here. Yeah, Bullitt’s incredible.
SLIM One of my all time favorite cars. That Mustang. Tell you what.
DANNY That Mustang is no joke. And then today, rounding off some of my race car movies. I watched Days of Thunder for the first time. Now, I know we can’t get into too much Tom talk. [Slim laughs]
SLIM You can get into it. This is a viewing, this wasn’t a future prezzo for this show. [Danny laughs] Disclaimer, I do a podcast about Tom Cruise. But go right ahead.
DANNY My family’s a big NASCAR family growing up. This movie felt like one of those movies where it was like their Star Wars, you know. And so my dad watched it a bunch. The VHS was always lying around. And I felt like, I kept telling myself I’d probably seen this movie but today was the first time I actually put it on to watch it all the way through and I gotta tell you at the end of it — my — I was like hype for this movie. I don’t know what Did it for me. The soundtrack by Hans Zimmer, Tom, Nicole. The Tom and Robert Duvall scenes got me good.
SLIM Duvall is so good in that movie.
DANNY Duvall is so good in this movie! So many fun scenes. I think the story is kind of whatever. But um, I gave it five stars. I may watch it again and bring it down lower once I dig into it, but I had so much fun with this movie. It was just great.
SLIM Proto, you left a comment on Danny’s review, for Days of Thunder. You want to elaborate on that?
PROTO I did. [Proto sighs] You know, sometimes Danny pisses me off. [Slim & Danny laugh] He just — he doesn’t take Letterboxd seriously. And I don’t like it. I don’t like that he plays games, that it’s not sacred to him, that he doesn’t see this as you know, cataloging and creating historical record for movies that we watch.
DANNY Mmm okay.
PROTO And he says, “This is really like some other rating.” But then, you know, flippantly gives it five stars for who knows what reason! Who knows what’s going on in his head!
PROTO But I have a, I have a righteous anger directed towards him. [Slim laughs]
DANNY Mhm. It’s righteous.
PROTO And I just — I couldn’t contain it anymore! I just have to, I have to let him know that what he’s doing is wrong.
DANNY Did Proto just say that Kong vs Godzilla was a two star movie but he gave it three?
PROTO Danny, don’t try to twist my words against me. [Slim laughs]
DANNY What’s the —
PROTO Don’t try to twist my words!
DANNY Proto, where is this rule book that I need to follow for Letterboxd?
PROTO It’s in my head, alright?! [Danny & Slim laugh] You got questions, just come to me and I’ll give you the answer. It’s not that hard.
SLIM The sexual —
DANNY That’s all movies I watched. What wait you mean sexual tension between me and Proto? [Slim laughs]
SLIM I was about to say, the sexual energy between Nicole and Tom. [Danny laughs] But you cut me off! It was off the charts. I mean, the energy between you two, whatever it is, it’s also steaming.
SLIM It’s palpable. You could cut it with a knife you could cut the mustard with. [Danny laughs] But I do want to call out, you know, before we get to Proto’s films, maybe some more anime, manga, whatever he’s getting into on this, I don’t know. It’s gonna probably be freaky. But we have some new friends that joined our Patreon this week that I want to call out. Four bucks a month and you can have access to our Discord. Listen live during the week, chat about movies during the week. And just make some new friends. And joining this week Silje, Ewan, Nicole, Kevin, Jordan, Emily, Will and Matt! So nice new cast of friends that joined this week. Some of them very talented in their own right. You know? You see those jean jackets that got posted by nikky?
DANNY Oh my gosh, those jean jackets!
SLIM Unreal. Unreal.
PROTO We have a lot of talented people in our Discord.
SLIM Makes me sick.
DANNY It’s crazy.
SLIM Makes me honestly sick to the stomach.
PROTO I love it. Personally, I love it. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM And every week, we give away a free year of Letterboxd Pro to friends of the show that share the show on social media, get rid of ads, and a host of features. And if you’re, actually if you’re a Patron, we can talk about a feature later. But this week’s winner is AiC Stories on Twitter.
DANNY Ayyee! Nice!
SLIM Adventures and creativity producshh. And those are fiction podcasts from David Szweduik. David, congratulations.
SLIM We have a lot to get to. We need to bring up how Speed Racer is our feature presentation this week for Blockbusted Month. My pick. Never seen it till this week. Box office bombs. That’s our theme this month. The underperforming movies, Proto will be announcing his later. Proto, what did you watch this week?
PROTO Well, you mentioned anime and I’ll just let everybody know what’s up with that. I started Cowboy Bebop.
DANNY Oh baby.
PROTO And… IYK…YK. K? [Slim & Danny laugh] Just leave it at that. I’m two episodes in. Want to get into.
SLIM Never heard anyone —
DANNY Say it out loud? [Danny laughs]
SLIM My brain was processing it so slowly. Like what did I just hear?
PROTO But movie wise, I got to a movie that’s been on my list for a long time. Le Samourai.
PROTO By John-Pierre Melville. And this movie, I said it’s — I called it hornigraphic.
DANNY Oh my gosh. What a word.
PROTO It’s about a hitman in Paris, who is very meticulous and very good at his job. But some things go wrong with his latest hit. And he has to try to sort it out with the with the police and with his client. I gave it three stars. It’s really very stylish, very cool movie. I just, I felt like it kind of fell a little flat for me, story wise, but I think it’s worth watching. It’s very cool. I’m looking forward to watching more movies. The guy who plays Jef, he’s amazing.
SLIM [Slim in Spanish(?) accent] Jef.
PROTO You wanna talk about a snack? This guy.
SLIM Snackalicious. You talk about sexual energy? That guy.
PROTO Yeah. Oh, yeah, there’s a scene early on where he’s him and this girl are they’re they’re looking at each other through the car windows. And you could cut that mustard with a knife [Danny & Slim laugh] in that moment. The tension.
SLIM How about the — hold on — how ‘bout the art that you created for that movie? You were on a kick this week.
PROTO Oh yeah. Yeah, I drew a little art.
SLIM You were Procreating this week, hard.
SLIM Proto-create. [Slim laughs]
PROTO Proto-creating. Yeah, yeah, I’m trying to I’m trying to learn a little Procreate.
SLIM Love it. It’s going great so far.
PROTO It’s hard. It’s hard, but yeah, I’m having fun with it. What else did I watch? Let’s see. Oh, God. [Slim laughs]
SLIM I mean, we don’t have to.
PROTO No, let’s not talk about it.
DANNY Yeah, bring it up. Please. [Proto laughs]
SLIM What is it? What is it?
PROTO So our friends over at the Cinenauts [Slim & Proto laugh] they’re watching —
DANNY There it is.
PROTO They’re watching the movie The Brood. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Chuck had it ready! [Danny & Proto laugh] In chat, he screenshotted the review and pasted in it chat. Oh my God.
PROTO Oh man. [Proto laughs] Which is the David Cronenberg movie. The Brood. It’s 1979. And, you know, I… I don’t think I’ve given a positive rating to any Cronenberg movie that I’ve seen. [Slim & Danny laugh] so far. I think the most is I might have given three stars The Fly. But his movies are really, they’re always interesting. You know, like the subject matter is crazy. I don’t know what to compare it to. It’s, it’s like, there are a lot of things that you do that feels like a bad idea. And then when you do it, it’s good. Cronenberg’s like the reverse where you think it’s a good idea and then when you’re in the midst of it, you’re like, I made a mistake, watching this. [Danny & Slim laugh] But even with that said, giving The Brood one star, I’m looking forward to watching his other movies. You know, I’m gonna watch all of them. I have to. So yeah, I gave The Brood one star, I did not care for that movie. I thought it was kind of —
DANNY Dumb as hell?
PROTO Silly. I mean, the ideas were great, like Cronenberg has great ideas. It just kind of flat, the delivery for me. That’s all.
SLIM I was looking at my review, I think I watched that last year, maybe for the first time and I just couldn’t get over how that one guy was overpowered by kids. He couldn’t just like beat those kids up, in that one scene.
PROTO Yeah —
DANNY Excuse me? Kid gore?
PROTO The scenes where people are attacked, I’m just not buying it. I’m just not buying what Cronenberg’s putting down in those scenes.
SLIM Kid gore. Speaking of kid gore, I watched Assault On Precinct 13 last week, or the week before that —
SLIM Some girl gets shot in the first five minutes of that movie! [Slim laughs]
DANNY The ice cream?
SLIM Point blank. Yeah, it was crazy!
DANNY Spoilers, but God damn, yeah. That shit was —
SLIM I brought up the Patreon, I meant to mention how we are doing another exclusive episode for our patrons, our VHS Villagers. And we’re leaving it all on the table for the patrons this time around. You know, there are some kind of, you know, I’m doing air quotes, like “alleged fraud”. “Alleged”, you know, “choosing votes”. I can’t do the air quotes enough right now.
PROTO Get out your tinfoil hats.
SLIM Yeah. So now we have just set the theme. And it’s a classic musical, musical that takes place, that was released before 1980. It’s all on them to choose it now. They can set up the brackets, they can just choose a movie! They don’t even need to do brackets. But if you’re in the Discord, the time is now to rock the boat and choose our musical movie. What do you think they’re going to choose Proto?
PROTO Um, knowing them, hmm…
DANNY Is there a singing possum in any of them?
PROTO Oh yes, singing animals, we could be in for trouble.
DANNY Oh no, is that muppets?
SLIM Xanadu just got mentioned by Chuck. Chuck’s probably still sour after this Cronenberg review to be honest.
PROTO Hey Chuck, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Chuck. Sorry what I did to you. They’re gonna fail at being able to pick a movie and come to an agreement and we’re just gonna have to pick. [Danny & Slim laugh]
PROTO That’s usually what happens.
SLIM This episode, officially we release on Monday, so they have until Thursday when we record Proto’s episode next week to reveal their pick for the exclusive episode. But we’re running out of tape. We have a lot of show to get to. It’s time for Speed Racer. Speed Racer from the Wachowskis and this is 2008, you know, I made this pick for Blockbusted Month. Proto, do you want to strap us in? Take us for a ride and explain Speed Racer.
[music from original Speed Racer (1967) cartoon fades in]
PROTO First name Speed. Last name Racer. For those who have watched the movie. Speed Racer is an artist on the race track. He drinks petrol, chews on tires, dreams of chassis — chassis is the correct plural pronunciation of chassis, I looked it up [Slim laughs] — and he smells like burnt rubber. He was born to race, it’s in his blood and his skills are getting noticed. Royalton, of Royalton Industries, owner of one of the largest corporations in the racing scene, wants Speed to join Royalton’s other 350 racers, as he pursues the dream of racing in the Grand Prix. But when Speed turns down the offer, a much more sinister reality begins to appear around the entire racing world. Now at odds with Royalton, the entire Racer family must work together to expose the corruption that is destroying their beloved sport and win the Grand Prix, setting all things right once and for all.
SLIM I had no idea his name was Speed Racer.
DANNY Did you never watch the cartoon?
SLIM I never watched the cartoon.
DANNY Ohhh, okay.
SLIM I’m totally oblivious. So I went in very blind for this entire movie. Knew nothing. I knew there was like a cartoon thing. I knew Racer X. I thought Racer X looked really cool. I always used to think he was Cyclops. And this was like an animated show with the X-Men. But I was way wrong.
PROTO You were wrong.
SLIM Danny, you have a couple copies of this movie? How many times have you seen this?
DANNY You know, I haven’t seen it a lot. I saw it opening weekend, IMAX 3d. And then I think and then I bought it on Blu-ray when it came out. So I’ve loved Speed Racer as a cartoon for a long time. It was probably one of the first animes I had watched, I believe. And then the live action came out. And so I haven’t watched it in years. But I’m glad we’re finally getting around to it.
SLIM Mmm. Proto, what about you? Did we talk about this last week? I can’t remember what your backstory is with Speed Racer.
PROTO I definitely saw some of the cartoon as a child. But I don’t remember much of it. And I saw it — I don’t think I saw it in theater. It must have been after at some point.
SLIM Lana and Lilly Wachowski made The Matrix trilogy and then do Speed Racer after this. What a follow up, right? What a very strange and interesting follow up to have.
PROTO Well, I think it’s, this is maybe this is just the movie they wanted to make right after The Matrix. Well, I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know how this the sequels did in the box office. But I would imagine after creating a franchise like The Matrix, maybe they were just given —
SLIM Carte blanche.
PROTO Carte blanche to do what they wanted to.
DANNY I mean, so much of their stuff is heavily anime influenced. I wonder how much connection the Wachowskis had growing up to Speed Racer because I mean so much of their stuff just kind of relies on that fantastical element that anime brings.
SLIM Yeah, so one of the first items on this watch, my list, that I brought to the top was this entire movie has a look. You know, it’s like all, it seems like it’s all green screen pretty much.
DANNY It is. It is.
SLIM It feels like real life animation. I don’t know, it’s kind of hard to describe because I don’t know if I’ve seen CGI in a movie like this before. It’s kind of hard to explain. Proto, what did you think rewatching this?
PROTO Yeah. [Proto sighs] Remembering what it’s like — the first scene where it really hits you in the face is where I guess Speed goes out to see his brother Rex out at the car. And like the whole background, the whole neighborhood is green screen and it’s like the colors are so bright and so saturated, that it kind of hits you in the face. Yeah, you feel like you’re what you’re looking at a cartoon. It feels almost like the reverse of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
DANNY Well, you know, I would — I tried to figure out a way to like — I would describe this as like, instead of it being like a live action made — like it feels like it’s a live action cartoon, like it’s a cartoon of itself. And so like, like literally I mean there’s very few sets even remotely built for this movie. And what I love about it is even the backgrounds were all actual like photography of locations that are just kind of placed in and these like panes of almost like that like layered animation field that Disney was doing with the glass. Like different panes different levels, different layers of, of scenery, and honestly, it takes, it took me a good, I don’t know, 10 minutes to get adjusted to what I was watching. Knowing that it’s the whole film because it’s, it’s hard. It’s hard to get used to because if you’re just not — you can’t compare this to any movie you’ve seen. This isn’t like some other full CG movie. I mean, there’s so much green screen and like you know, the prequels Star Wars and stuff like that, but it’s not in your face like this is. Like this had no shame, with the fact that it was full CG. Like it was like, it was like promoting it, basically.
SLIM Yeah, I was watching it. And I — was it you who told me you saw it in 3d?
DANNY Yeah I saw it in 3d.
SLIM I was like crapping my pants thinking about seeing this movie in 3d. I would probably have an aneurism during the final race scene, the racing sequence. I don’t know if I’d be able to handle it.
DANNY It was incredible.
PROTO Yeah, the thing that’s, that’s wild about it too, is that because there’s so much CG, it feels like the camera isn’t even grounded in some — there’s like no anchor in the screen. Because you’ll have — they do this thing where there will be maybe two characters on the screen, and they’ll be moving like, at a different different depth to one another. But then also the background is moving in a different way that doesn’t really make any sense. And it gives you that anime feel of like, space as almost like abstract where you’re not, you’re not grounded in any like physicality. It’s really just using the movement to communicate something other than, like a real space. And they do that in this and it’s jarring as you watch it because it doesn’t make sense in the real world. So I think what Danny was saying about it feeling like a live action cartoon is right, because they play with that idea of like the like physical space in interesting ways, that I can’t really, I can’t really think of another movie that does it quite like this. My first note is I want that TV they have at the house. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Yes! 100% I had the same note. [Proto laughs]
PROTO They got like this TV that has just like these super — I don’t even know what it is. I guess it’s like an old tube TV with like the rounded corners.
DANNY Yeah. [Danny laughs]
PROTO Super rounded. Just amazing to watch anything on that. God, I’d love to have something like that.
SLIM Mhm. 100% agree. Danny, what about you? What’s on your list?
DANNY I mean, I have a lot to talk about. One of I think probably one of my favorite things about this film is I think John Goodman is absolutely incredible in this film. I think he plays such a good, he has such a great like, character arc too, where he has to do the same thing twice with two different sons. And he learns from his first mistake with how he treated like Rex. And so like, you know, he had that line where he says “If you walk out that door, don’t ever come back” or that classic like dad line in a movie. But when it happens again for Speed, he has like a great sit down moment with him. And I just feel like John was like, he had to have been having like the time of his life and making this film, right? Because he’s like, he’s the old dude on set. But it’s this new, like the whole — I mean, the full CG. Like he had to have been out of his element, but he still seemed like he cared about this film and I just love him in it. I love him as a dad. I love John Goodman as a dad, he’s just he’s such a dad. He also seems like a giant person.
DANNY I want to meet him just to stand next to him because he feels like he’s like seven foot tall. Like I just, I don’t know, I love him. He’s just a great — I want to hug him.
SLIM Marcie’s asking if this is the greatest cinematic mustache.
DANNY Oh my gosh, yes. It’s quite good.
SLIM Maybe they filmed him kind of like Lord of the Rings style to make him seem bigger than he actually was. [Danny laughs]
DANNY He just seemed gigantic, especially his fight scenes where he fights the Non-jas.
PROTO Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that scene especially he looked gigantic. [Danny laughs]
SLIM My next note, obviously I’m going to bring up about how this movie isn’t in 4K. There’s no UHD version of this. It’s obviously screaming for a UHD, Dolby Vision edish. However, the HD copy that I watched of this movie is gorgeous.
SLIM The quality of this movie in HD 1080P is beautiful. Like I was kind of, I even like got tricked. I was like, am I watching a 4K version? Are they accidentally serving me up 4K? Because everything was so clean on the characters faces. And I was really trying to wonder like, how are they doing this? Even the shadows were just deep blacks. Everything was beautiful. But then I was starting to wonder I was like, okay, they’re actually just artificially lighting this movie the whole time. So everyone’s face has just, you know, the fullest like amount of light on them showing every pore, but I just I will say that it just looks amazing in 1080p. Like, I’m pretty pleased with even just this. Like, obviously 4K version will be great. But this movie looks amazing as it is today.
DANNY There’s so many close up shots to have their faces and like the helmets and the cars and the reflections and there’s so much that could look bad if just like this, like a bad upscaling is going on. But you’re right, I mean, I watched on 1080p thinking this, the stream I was getting from whatever we were using the My Movies Anywhere app, it looked, it looked really clean, like really good. I mean, some of the like CG race scenes, just a little bit of I don’t know, I don’t know how much work goes into doing 4K, but the little touching up with those scenes and ooff, it’d be amazing.
SLIM Yeah, I feel like my TV would melt if I put this UHD. [Danny laughs]
PROTO Well, I thought that, um, I think it looks really good. But I don’t know if I liked the way the animation was done, where they communicated Speed, obviously. But it was almost too chaotic to really tell what was going on in a lot of the race scenes. Like, yeah, these cars are supposed to be moving fast, but I feel like it almost would have benefited from, I hate to say it, but like slow motion and certain parts.
DANNY Oh no.
PROTO Where like, to be able to tell, like what was going on. Because there was a lot of those scenes where I know there was like, there was detail. But the way that it was moving almost as if it was being — it looked like I was watching like a sped up tape.
PROTO Like it was going at 2x speed, where I couldn’t make anything out of what I was seeing. And at that point, I would kind of just check out. It just seemed like very busy on the screen. But I couldn’t tell what was going on. And almost at the best, the most exciting parts, I was losing interest because of that.
SLIM The action, I mean, the action just takes so much getting used to, the track the visuals of the race experience. I feel like it’s unlike any visual experience you’ve probably seen. So it does take a lot to get used to. The racing didn’t really take me out of it so much but I felt like the movie was probably a little bit too long. Like some of the like the Grand Prix or the race that they got in to get back into the fight —
DANNY The rally race.
SLIM The rally race. I did kind of tune out a little bit. Like two hours of Speed Racer doesn’t make sense to me, like 90 minute Speed Racer like yeah, this movie will probably hum a little bit faster. What did you think, Danny?
DANNY I love — the problem is I liked this film already. So I don’t mind the two hour time frame. And also I love racing. So it just felt like, it just was like this combination of everything that I kind of love. It was like the anime, the animation, the car racing, it felt like a video game. I felt like I was playing like San Francisco Rush or something ridiculous like that with these different vehicles. And so I don’t mind the runtime. I do think like a little bit the chopping up. There’s a couple scenes that just, mob boss is talking, that is just like slowly pushing the story along, but it’s not really necessary, really. I mean, we get the gist of what they’re trying to do. So yeah, I can see cutting up a little bit but, I enjoy, I just, I enjoy it already.
PROTO I agree about the the rally race. I think that was the portion that I liked the least of the racing. Whereas when they, whenever they were on a track, seeing the way they would drift in and out of the turns is just tops. Like that stuff was dynamite. And anytime a car exploded, the way the driver was put into that like jelly like ball or whatever. [Danny laughs] That was so neat! And even the gadgets, one of the gadgets I love, I think it is in the rally race where you know, the cars are tricked out with all like these illegal tools to fight and one is, there was like this razor blade and then Speed has the shield that comes out. [Danny laughs] But then they’re controlled by like little joysticks that they’re moving with their thumbs. And they’re having like this, this like swordfight while going —
DANNY A little mini game.
PROTO Yeah, like 150 miles an hour through the desert right next to each other and it’s it’s so ridiculous and over the top but it was so fun. I kind of wish there was more of that. They did a lot of the, I don’t even know what that’s called, but like the the jump boost where he hits like the boost and he would like flip over the cars. Like that stuff is is crazy and was a lot of fun. I kind of wish that there was more of that nonsense in this.
DANNY And the car-fu that they were doing. [Slim & Proto laughs] That’s what they called it.
SLIM What else is on your list Danny? You probably have a bunch.
DANNY Well, we were talking the race scenes, I love that desert race scene. I for me, there’s so much about the design of this film that I love. But I have always loved the Mach Five, Speed’s car.
DANNY That design of the Mach Five is I mean, what we see of Five is almost identical to what they did in the cartoon. And then when they do the Six, the Mach Six is just, it just, it’s just like chef kiss perfect designer.
SLIM Prayer hands.
DANNY I mean, car designs alone get me good. I mean, I love them. But I mean, I have a model of the Mach Five, it’s just, I just love seeing it on the big screen like this in the live action. It just… it was so good. Like so good. And they did so many designs, like I looked into some of the making of’s and they had over like, I want to say that over 100 different cars designed for the rally scenes. And they had to create, they had to create their own like — so you know, like rally cars and Indy cars, they all have their like sponsors on the side, they created over 400 different brands, like out of the blue to put on these cars. And there’s actually one car that has every sticker that they’ve created on it. So there’s just, I just, there’s just so much about the design of this film that I just couldn’t get over. It just was the color as well. I mean, the color is off the charts in this film, but it just, I love it. I just love looking at all this — every scene has a different theme. It just felt like the palette of this was just non stop. It was incredible.
SLIM The one scene where it looked like they had a real Mach Five, like in the corner.
SLIM I was like, oh, is that, is that real back there? And I was like, looking at it.
DANNY They had two built cars that didn’t have engines. They had one Mach Five built and they Racer X’s yellow, like hot rod built as well. So that they can do a couple of the scenes with — what’s his name? Fox from Lost?
SLIM Matthew Shephard?
DANNY Yeah, Matthew Fox. Matthew Shephard?
SLIM Matthew Fox?
DANNY Fox. [Slim laughs]
PROTO Matthew Shephard?
SLIM Shephard Fox.
DANNY Yeah, so they made a couple, a couple of the cars.
SLIM I enjoyed the Racer X storyline too. Again, like since I was a kid, I just remember thinking that character looked really cool as a kid. So I didn’t know any of the potential backstory with the brother. And how Speed thought that that was his brother. He raced the same, he knew where to find him. And he told him he wasn’t. So while I was watching this, I was like, ah dang, would have been cool if I was his brother. [Proto & Slim laugh]
DANNY I love that reveal.
SLIM Like later in the movie, it’s revealed that he actually is and I was like, ohhh, snap. That’s pretty cool. So I loved all that stuff. For sure.
DANNY Yeah, super rad.
SLIM I guess it’s the same in the animated show that that’s his brother?
DANNY Oh, I actually don’t know. I don’t remember that. It might be.
SLIM Torin and Marcie say yes.
DANNY Yeah, yeah, yeah. It seems like it was. The, man, the design of Racer X too, felt like it was right off the page as well. There’s a couple of differences, but I love those stupid glasses he wears.
SLIM Mel says imagine Keanu as Racer X. What’s wrong with Matthew Fox? He had it going on.
DANNY Matthew Fox looked good too! I mean he was hot off Lost then.
SLIM You see that fight scene?!
PROTO Oh yeah.
SLIM He was like Bruce Lee! Body wise.
PROTO That was great.
DANNY Calm down. We’re not going to recast Matthew just yet. Talk about a movie that killed his career. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Who is the — what’s the main bad guys name?
PROTO Oh, Royalton?
SLIM Royalton. Someone said in Discord today, might have been Sean. But the moment he was on screen I was thinking, man, imagine Tim Curry as this guy. [Danny laughs] The whole time I was watching this movie and I think someone said it in chat today.
DANNY Oh my.
SLIM I was like oh, yes, exactly. But I thought he was great. I didn’t know, like, it wasn’t really obvious that he was going to be the main antagonist, at least for me on this viewing being clueless. But so I loved when he kind of flipped the switch and went super bad guy, revealed to him that the races were quote unquote “fixed”. And yeah, so I enjoyed that, that part of the movie and his role in that. But again, would’ve loved Tim Curry. You know?
PROTO Yeah, I love that sequence when they, when Royalton takes them to his tower, and is showing them around inside. The one scene that has always stayed with me — this actually comes later. But is when Speed goes back to tell him no, and what’s his little — is it Spritle? His little brother goes with the monkey.
DANNY Chim Chim.
PROTO Yeah, then they’re on like, the little like go kart in there. And the music’s playing and that sequence is, to me, I feel like that’s the most iconic part of this movie, because it’s so ridiculous the way it moves, all these people moving around on the segways behind them. That’s just that — when I think of this movie, I think of that scene.
SLIM That was a lot of fun. All their scenes were pretty funny. And even the intro to the movie where he has a line about how he expects his brother to win the race and break the time record to start the movie.
[clip of Speed Racer plays]
SPEED RACER Nobody’s gonna catch him. He’s gonna win it. He’s gonna set the course record. Nobody’s gonna stop him.
POPS RACER Quiet, Speed. There’s still a lot of race to go.
SPEED RACER No way, it’s over. My brother is the best racer in the world. Everyone else is running for second!
[clip of Speed Racer ends]
SLIM I love that like confidence in a brother. And really just like the family had in him. That was like so heartwarming to start the movie. So all his scenes were hilarious and fun.
DANNY I like that in that first race where he lets off the gas so it doesn’t beat his brother’s record. So it doesn’t erase his name from the scoreboard. I mean, that’s just killer.
PROTO This is most wholesome family in cinema. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM So my other other notes I had was when Royalton, I think he’s talking about like a masseuse available 24/7, but his pronunciation is ma-sseurs. Did anyone else catch that? Was he talking about something else and not really a masseuse?
DANNY I didn’t catch that.
SLIM Ma-sseurs available 24/7. [Danny laughs] Becs saw it. Thank you, Becs.
PROTO I want to ask a question… you know, this is Blockbusted Month. I didn’t do any research on this. I don’t know if you guys did either. But so Speed Racer, at the time, it says that it lost $80 million dollars.
DANNY That’s a lot.
PROTO Why — why — you guys have any theories as to why like, why didn’t this movie work?
DANNY Honestly, I don’t know.
SLIM I mean, they were coming off of the last two Matrix movies, which I feel like was a big letdown for the majority of The Matrix audience. And then they’re coming out with like, a mainstream Speed Racer movie? I don’t know. Seems like a — like I guess the mainstream probably wasn’t ready for a Speed Racer Wachowski movie. Which I think now it’s almost become kind of like a cult movie. But when you put that much money into a movie, I don’t know you pretty, pretty much have to know what you’re going to get back. And it didn’t really work out for them. I don’t know. Like when this came out, I was like, I don’t care. [Slim & Danny laugh] I have no desire to see Speed Racer movie and pay 20 bucks to see that. But that was just me. So I guess a lot of people were like that.
PROTO In the chat PopFenton said is the week after Iron Man.
DANNY Ohhhhh no.
PROTO I do remember seeing Iron Man in the theater. [Danny laughs] But I do not remember seeing Speed Racer.
DANNY Everybody saw Iron Man in the theatre.
SLIM Poor timing, playing a factor.
SLIM “2008 wasn’t ready” quote. Marcie revealing that she graduated high school in 2008. My word.
DANNY That’s okay.
SLIM Iron Man and Hulk. The Hulk come around that time?
DANNY My word.
SLIM What a year. MCU, Danny’s favorite.
DANNY Yeah, I don’t, I just don’t think that even the — like what — like just Speed Racer wasn’t like mainstream for America either.
DANNY So it’s really — it was definitely a hard sell, it would probably have been a hard sell for a lot of it. And I only saw — I didn’t see, I mean, I caught a lot of it growing up but I don’t think I knew what I was watching and I watched more Speed Racer when I was in high school, you know, trying to be the cool kid that watched anime. But yeah — [Proto chuckles]
PROTO How’d that go for you? [Slim laughs]
SLIM I mean, you see how it’s going for Proto right now. [Danny & Proto laugh]
PROTO Same as it ever was!
DANNY So, I don’t know. I mean, it’s just, it’s tough. This definitely would have been a tough sell. This is no Days of Thunder.
SLIM Yeah. I actually don’t have any other notes. I don’t think.
DANNY We didn’t talk about Christina Ricci yet.
SLIM Christina Ricci, a lot of talk about her hair in chat today.
DANNY I mean, she looked killer. And the hair looked great!
SLIM I thought she did pretty well. Proto, what did you think?
DANNY Yeah, she was a great Trixie.
PROTO Ah, yeah, yeah, pretty good. Some of those scenes at the beginning though of like her in the car. Those are some of the scenes that I think they could’ve cut to shorten this movie up. There was just like, some moments between characters where… I don’t know, it just seems kind of bloated.
DANNY Hmm. I do feel like there’s some awkward moments with the characters that are like, like, even more awkward because of what you’re watching. Like you’re still not settled in like the amount of CG you’re staring at. So even like some of the conversations feel weird because they’re still just reacting to two of them in a giant green room. So like some of the some of the performances are a little stiff.
SLIM How ‘bout the blue in Speed’s hair? The blue streaks. Did you catch that?
DANNY Excuse me?
SLIM Yeah. Speed had like blue streaks in his hair. In the beginning of the movie. I thought it was pretty cool looking.
DANNY I guess I just assumed it was a reflection from whatever!
SLIM Yeah, he had — someone can confirm that, I think Becs just did, but I’ll get some screenshots. It looked pretty cool. I’m guessing it was to kind of like capture some of the shading in the anime or the cartoon rather. Is it an anime? Is Speed Racer an anime?
DANNY Yes, sir.
SLIM “Stop steering and start driving.” Thought that was a great line.
SLIM I thought the speech from Matthew Shephard Fox to him after he revealed to him, quote, that he wasn’t his brother. I thought that was pretty nice. And the entire ending sequence —
SLIM Of the race. That is some legit stuff. I was — like, the entire ending of him trying to win the race. I was like, did I just move to four stars right now?
SLIM Like it was so good. That like made up for kind of like all the slow plotting parts, at least in my opinion.
SLIM I was kind of blown away by that entire final sequence. I guess you were too, Danny?
DANNY I mean, that’s probably — but I would have said, am I going to five stars right now? [Slim laughs] I mean, that’s that final scene. I mean, it’s just great. I mean, you love a good dueling car scene. But I don’t know. It’s just, it’s just rad. It’s so rad. That track was rad. The Mach Six, there’s just so much of that design of that finale that is just killer. I love it. I love that the cheating aspect got brought in again, just to win and you know, just listen to the car. That whole segment was great.
SLIM Remnant brings up Kung Fu Panda might have been released that same summer. So another ding against potential money being spent on Speed Racer.
SLIM What did you think of the ending of Speed Racer, Proto, with that race?
PROTO Yeah, I mean, it’s pretty wild. That’s what we’re all here for. Right?
DANNY Yeah, exactly.
PROTO That’s why we showed up in theaters back in 2008. [Slim & Danny laugh] The final Grand Prix race.
SLIM Anything else on your list for Speed Racer, Proto?
PROTO Ah, no, that’s… that’s it from me.
SLIM Dark Knight was the same summer? Marcie says. My God!
SLIM Is there a better year in the history of film than 2008? Kung Fu Panda, I ask you. Danny, what else is on our list that we didn’t cover yet?
DANNY I mean, that’s it. That’s really it. I mean, it’s, I’ll just go into it, if you guys are done with your lists.
SLIM Get into it.
DANNY I’ve seen this movie a couple of times, 3d in the theater. I am a fan of Speed Racer. Watching this in 2021, there were moments where I’m like, I don’t know what I’m going to give this movie, star wise, on Letterboxd. Because it is, it’s special. Like there’s no other film that does — there’s no other movie that has ever done what this has done, visually. It may be because it flopped. Maybe because this just didn’t work. But I do feel like some of it is still, the tech is still being kind of — you know even like Mandalorian, the way they do those screens around —
DANNY There’s so much probably that has stemmed from this that maybe has rippled through cinema, but I don’t know. Halfway through this film, I was like, I’m probably just at four stars, but that ending got me.
SLIM It’s really good.
DANNY I really loved the ending of this film. It sticks the landing. There’s just so much I love about this movie. So I’m going to stay at five stars.
SLIM Wow! Danny pullin’ a fast one on his review.
SLIM Trolling people into thinking he was going to give a bad review. Five stars!
DANNY Yeah, if it ends any other way, I don’t think it would have stuck with me. I probably would have just stayed around four. But just the ending is so good. I love the family. I love Speed.
SLIM Let’s see, I’m just loading up VGER, the computer, the supercomputer that loves movies, that Proto built from scratch on 70mmpod.com. Let’s see, Chuck Forsman’s review: “Trixie” I don’t know if that’s — did he have a one word review?
PROTO Yeah he did.
SLIM “Ice cream for the eyes” from Wes.
PROTO Sounds cold.
SLIM Ewan, “It’s a lot.” [Danny laughs] “Expectations were made” from Mikey P. I’m gonna click through. Oh my God! Have you guys read Mikey P’s review for this?
DANNY Let’s hear it.
SLIM Holy moly, I don’t know if I can read the whole thing here. Five stars from Mikey P though.
SLIM I’ll return to the VGER supercomputer in a moment. Proto, what are your final thoughts?
PROTO I was ready to love this movie. I remember liking it when I saw it and thinking it was overlooked and it was a shame. Revisiting it, I was thinking I would even like it even more but I’m sitting here right now in 2021 and I am shocked at my experience watching this. 90 minutes in, I was ready for this movie to be over. I was, I was so bored. It just was not working on like any level for me. Like I said, the animation or just like the racing. It just felt too busy. I didn’t even really know what I was watching. I love the family stuff. I think it’s some of the writing is really great in here. The whole Racer family is so good! But yeah, I was just so bored. I couldn’t believe I had another 45 minutes to go. So I got to Protolens this. I would tell myself this is a two star movie. [Slim laughs]
DANNY Ohhh nooo.
SLIM Oh my gosh. They’re dropping the Goya beans garbanzo emoji in chat right now.
DANNY Matt, bring us home.
SLIM A lot of stunned faces in chat right now. [Slim laughs] I will say — Sophie says “I came back for this?” [Proto laughs] Kev forgives you, at least, in chat. So I was of the same mind about three quarters of the way through. Like the whole desert race, a lot of the stuff I felt like, like, let’s keep moving here. I’m getting kind of out of it. So but then the final race happened. And the editing of the final section of that race was some of the best filmmaking I’ve ever seen.
DANNY Oh my!
SLIM I just, I don’t know, the editing was just unreal in that moment. Cutting to all the characters, hoping he wins. So I love all that family stuff, like family that believes in you and knows that you’re the best that you can be or can be. So I’m at four stars for Speed Racer.
SLIM I was pretty shocked by the ending.
SLIM So I’m glad I got there. Glad they stuck it for me. Thank you Forrest, Forrest believes in me. And I believe in the Village and that’s what it’s all about.
SLIM So Speed Racer. This is my first pick in Blockbusted Month, which Forrest suggested. Glad we got there. The average rating according to VGER, Proto’s supercomputer, of the villagers, four and a half stars.
SLIM The math does not lie.
SLIM We have to get to some VMs. You can leave us an email, you can leave us an audio file, a voicemail at 70mmpod.com and let me pull up our email machine here real quick. We got a few letters I want to get to.
DANNY Okay, don’t miss anybody, Matt.
SLIM I try my best. Sometimes it’s not enough. Savy is back. Savannah has emailed us once more. You might remember Savannah from asking us to do a Barbie journey. “Heyo, its Savy. This past week, I had a class assignment to create my own podcast. In short, it was one of the most tedious projects I have ever done. I now realize just how much work goes into recording, editing and transcribing a show. I personally never want to look at Adobe Audition again. With this new perspective, I just wanted to say thank you for all the work you guys put into the podcast. I look forward to it every week. PS anyone remember those Speed Racer happy meal toys? I have a bunch collecting dust somewhere in my closet.” And that is from Savy.
SLIM What a letter.
DANNY Love it.
SLIM Did you get those happy meals?
DANNY No. I think she’s talking about this movie’s happy meals. No, I didn’t.
SLIM That’s what I mean. Did you get the Speed Racer happy meals?
DANNY No, Matt. I said no like five times. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Proto, your thoughts in the work that goes into producing and creating this podcast every week?
PROTO It’s a lot. [Slim laughs] It’s a lot of work. We all have a lot of work in our own different ways.
PROTO You know, Danny has to spend a lot of time in front of the screen doing the art. Slim’s got to cut up those files, make that production magic and I got to stay in my isolation chamber and come up with new ideas. [Slim laughs]
DANNY Mmm, the idea man.
PROTO For what we’re gonna do down the road. Yeah, I’m the idea man.
SLIM He’s like William Hurt in Altered States. One of the greatest horror movies ever made.
DANNY We all have a role to play.
SLIM Forrest is asking, “Can we get Savy in Discord?” I heard that she might make an appearance in a few weeks in the Discord. We’ll see. Next letter comes in from Remnant. “Hey, 70mm, longtime listener, first time emailer. I’ll keep this quick. Where is the 4K release of Speed Racer?”
SLIM “Or at least a better Blu-ray. Would love to watch this movie in theaters again. Love the podcast and keep up the great work.” 4K of this is going to be out of sight.
DANNY I doubt it’ll happen.
SLIM Outta sight! I don’t think I said on this show yet, thanks for the letter Remnant. But I bought The Ten Commandments 4K and that is sitting under my TV waiting to be inserted into my Xbox Series X.
DANNY Insert it.
PROTO Your holiday 2021 is going to be off the chain.
DANNY Easter Sunday.
SLIM Happy Easter to me as I fire that bad boy up. [Proto yelps] [Slim laughs] Alright, let’s get to some VMs that we got pumping in here. Let’s see who do we want to get to first? We talked about the Cinenauts. Let’s get into 1/3 of the Cinenauts podcast.
VOICEMAIL 70mm, it’s Ctcher. Just taking a quick break from doing some repairs on the ship. You can hear that in the background. Sorry. Also don’t tell Ian. But I just had to call in because you guys are covering Speed Racer, and I am so thankful that you guys are because I saw this movie back in 2008. And I left the theater just, my mind was blown. The action, the colors, just their approach to making a cartoon come to life. It’s just exceptional. Now does that mean there are annoying little brothers with monkeys? That can be grating at times? Yes. Does that mean the plot is only slightly less subtle than Avatar? Yes. But if this movie doesn’t blow your mind from just all of the new and innovative and crazy things that it does, I don’t know what to tell you. This is cinema. This is masters at their craft breaking boundaries. And I love this movie so much. I mean, the opening set piece is our main character racing the memory of his dead brother. He’s racing the memory of his dead brother. Like what are you talking about? It’s flawless. I love this movie. Alright, I’ll get back to work. If you don’t like it, that’s fine, but… I mean that’s fine. Talk to you guys later, bye. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Mamma mia. How ‘bout the air quality in that room, whatever Ctcher was recording in? Is that his laptop fan about to take off?
DANNY He said he’s on a ship he said, he’s on a spaceship!
SLIM Working on the ship for the Cinenauts pod.
PROTO They’re on The Brood planet right now. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Chuck and Dale, I think are going to be — from the BAT & SPIDER podcast — are gonna be guests on the next episode of Cinenauts. Or as Chuck calls them, the Cinnamonauts.
PROTO Wait, who came up with that?
SLIM Chuck Forsman came up with that nickname, Cinnamonauts. It’s a really great nickname.
PROTO That is great.
SLIM There’s been whispers too, Ctcher has long wanted to come on to this podcast to talk about Zodiac.
SLIM I’ve never seen Zodiac.
DANNY Wait, what?!
SLIM I don’t know. I wasn’t like big into Fincher. Wasn’t a Fincher boy.
PROTO You don’t like seeing people get murdered? [Slim laughs]
SLIM The true crime buffs in chat right now we’re gonna lose it at you.
DANNY Why have you not seen that film?
SLIM I don’t — I’m not sure why, it just never tickled my fancy at the time.
PROTO You don’t enjoy serial killers?
SLIM I mean, they didn’t like, it’s based on a serial killer they didn’t catch. Right? Spoilers.
DANNY Or did they? Or… did… they?
PROTO You don’t like it when serial killers win in the end?! [Slim laughs]
DANNY Just because it as Robert Downey Jr. and Mark Ruffalo stinking up the place doesn’t mean it’s a bad movie.
SLIM Mark Ruffalo. Who on the show hates Mark Ruffalo? Is that everybody?
PROTO Oh my God, the dynamic duo.
SLIM Oh my God. [Slim laughs]
DANNY The amount of baggy pants that they are wearing, parachutes over there.
SLIM Right yeah, Nikky comments that they did crack the cipher recently but that might have been a reason why I didn’t want to see at the time.
DANNY Oh now you do, because they’ve cracked the cipher? That makes sense.
SLIM I want a movie that ends, has a resolution.
PROTO He wants to settle it.
DANNY They’re all dead at the end.
SLIM Maybe they put Mark Ruffalo in jail. Proto probably wants to.
DANNY Maybe he’s the killer. I mean, you never know.
SLIM We got another voicemail we gotta get to.
DANNY Gosh, what if Mark Ruffalo is the Zodiac Killer?
VOICEMAIL Hola buenas tardeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees a todos mis zarigüeyas en el podcast de 70 milímetrooooooos!!!!!!! Este es Ismael hablando con ustedes en este día de “April Fools,” que en México es el “Día de los inocentes” y es para el 28 de Diciembre. Ahí les di poquito de historia de mi México lindo y querido. Hoy les llamo para agradecer a Slim, Dany, y especialmente a Proto por empezar este podcast para que todos nosotros las zarigüeyas podramos discutir y amar estas películas juntos. Le doy un agradecimiento especial a Proto porque eligió el episodio que me trajo al podcast en el principio. Sin saber quienes son ustedes, solamente ví que iban a discutir una de mis películas favoritas de todos los tiempos: Nachooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Se los agradezco muchísimo, gracias por enseñarme esta comunidad tan especial. Finalmente, quiero proponer que en español esta comunidad se llame el “pueblo de películas” porque es comparable con “VHS Village” que tienen en ingles. Hasta luego pueblo de películas. Los quiero mucho!
[ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF VOICEMAIL] Hello good afternooooooooooooooooooooooon to all my possums on the 70 millimeterrrrrrrrrrrrrrr podcast! This is Ismael talking to you on this day of “April Fools” which in Mexico is “Día de los inocentes” and it is for December 28. There I gave you a little history of my beautiful and beloved Mexico. Today I’m calling to thank Slim, Dany, and especially Proto for starting this podcast so that all of us possums could discuss and love these movies together. I give Proto a special thank you because he chose the episode that brought me to the podcast in the beginning. Without knowing who you all were, I just saw that you were going to discuss one of my favorite movies of all time: Nachooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Thank you very much, thank you for showing me this very special community. Finally I want to propose that in Spanish this community be called “El Pueblo de Películas” (Movie Town/Village) because it is comparable to “VHS Village” That you have in English. See you later Pueblo de Películas. I love y’all very much!
DANNY My gosh.
SLIM Ismael, coming through. I can’t wait to check out Soph’s transcript for that call. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Monday morning.
DANNY I’m gonna read that back.
PROTO That was amazing.
DANNY My word.
SLIM It’s gonna be hard to top that one, I think.
PROTO I didn’t understand all of it. But I think I heard my name a few times?
DANNY He’s pissed.
PROTO And by the tone, he was saying some really good things about me. [Danny & Slim laugh]
SLIM Oh my God. Amazing. Alright, here we go. Let’s see. We got Marcie coming in hot.
VOICEMAIL [Marcie with a kiwi accent] Hey, boys, it’s Meemaw here. I’m down in New Zealand this week. And I had a couple of things to say. I got a job with Letterboxd and I picked up the accent as soon as I got hired. Second thing, Speed Racer, loved it. It was soo much fun. Thank you boys so much for the great pick. And lastly, happy April Fool’s Day, guys! Yeah, gotcha! Didn’t I? Alright. Well, that’s all from Meemaw this week. Can’t wait to call in again some other time. You know? We’ll see what country I’m in then. But love you guys, love the show. Thanks for everything. Bye!
SLIM Sensing a theme in these VMs.
DANNY Apologize to Letterboxd for that.
PROTO Marcie the globetrotter!
SLIM Somehow Marcie is the most talented person at accents that I have ever heard in the history of this show.
DANNY That’s saying something, Matt.
SLIM I have been surpassed. I didn’t think it was possible.
PROTO Now she is the master!
SLIM If she does a Jean-Claude Van Damme impression next week, Imma lose it. Imma lose it.
PROTO Where’s Jean-Claude from?
SLIM Nobody knows.
PROTO [Proto in a French accent] Paris?
SLIM Next voicemail.
VOICEMAIL Bonjour 70mm, un petit VM de votre villageois du discord Gab. J’appelle pour deux raisons. 1 pour vous dire comment beaucoup j’ai aimer Speed Racer, c’était vraiment le fun et je ne peux pas croire que mes parents mon jamais emporter voir ce film quand ça sortie en 2008 et que j’avais seulement 13 ans. Je pense que s’aurait été un 5 banger ce temps-là, et c’est encore un 5 banger aujourd’hui. 2e raison que j’appelle est parce que je sais que les épisodes sont enregistrés les jeudis soir et parfois on écoute les VM un peu tard, parfois après minuits. Et si ça c’est le cas, cela veut dire que c’est la fête à meemaw Marcie, donc Bonne fête Marcie, si que c’est après minuit! Joyeux Poisson d’avril! Bye!
[ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF VOICEMAIL] Hello 70mm, a little VM from your villager on Discord Gab. Calling in for two reasons. 1 to tell you how much I loved Speed Racer, it was so much fun and I can’t believe my parents didn’t take me to see this movie when it came out in 2008 and I was only 13 years old. I think it would have been a 5 banger then and it’s definitely a 5 banger today. 2nd reason for calling in is because I know the episodes are recorded on thursday nights and sometimes we get to VMs a bit late, sometimes after midnight. And if thats the case, that means that it’s Meemaw Marcie’s birthday! So happy birthday Marcie if were after midnight! Happy April fools. Bye!
DANNY My gosh. Is this the best?
SLIM This village.
DANNY This is the best.
SLIM Gabb. That was Gabe.
PROTO Oui oui.
SLIM [Slim in what is supposed to be a French accent] OUAIS! OUAIS! [Danny laughs] That’s what I was saying in the streets of France. Let’s see we got one —
PROTO [Proto in what is supposed to be a French accent] BAGUETTE! [Slim & Danny laugh]
DANNY Oh, my chest hurts.
SLIM I felt like that was more insulting than my impression. [Slim & Proto laugh] We have one more VM, I think from a Speed Racer, five banger fan. We’ll see.
VOICEMAIL What’s up 70mm, it’s Lex. The time has finally come. After the denial of the Patreon exclusive episode, my precious Speed Racer, finally beginning its day in the sun. This movie came out in 2008.
SLIM What a year.
VOICEMAIL I think, I don’t think I’d turn nine yet. So I was eight years old. And I was absolutely caught up in the hype for this movie. I was reading Speed Racer books, eating cereal, I was playing Speed Racer flash games. I was in it. I remember my dad coming to my primary school and pulling me out of class because we had tickets to go see it in the theater.
DANNY That’s the best.
VOICEMAIL That was awesome. I don’t actually remember my family’s initial opinion on the movie was, but I don’t really care because I love this movie. It’s visual treat. There are actually genuine, heartfelt moments. And that Grand Prix finale is normally the only time I’ve ever cried tears of joy while watching a movie.
DANNY Wow, wow, wow.
VOICEMAIL Nothing that would Wachowskis do will ever top this. It’s a five star masterpiece. I love this movie so much. And I’m actually really interested to see where you guys take a Blockbusted Month next. So, until then, keep up the good work! Buh bye.
SLIM Cloud Atlas.
DANNY Is that the Wachowskis?
SLIM That’s the Wachowskis, at least Lily right? Can someone back me up here? Better than Matrix 4, Lex? I mean, because that’s that’s still coming out.
DANNY Oh my God, I’m so excited for that.
SLIM Proto, are you excited for Matrix 4?
PROTO Oh yeah!
DANNY Heck yes.
PROTO You kidding me?
SLIM I wouldn’t kid about Matrix 4.
PROTO You want to talk about movies that changed my life?
DANNY Mhmm. Talk about it.
PROTO The Matrix changed my life. I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that.
SLIM Remember when Matrix lost the vote? For an episode?
DANNY Did Matrix and Speed lose the same one?
SLIM What did they lose to?
DANNY Some crap. [Slim & Proto laugh]
PROTO Some crap movie we had to watch.
SLIM Kev says Cloud Atlas is both Wachowskis and the director of Run Lola Run. My gosh, three directors. Holy moly. How do you even direct a movie with three people? That’s not an animated movie?
DANNY Carefully. Very carefully.
PROTO Three hands on the camera. [Danny & Slim laugh] You get a special camera that has three handles.
SLIM Special red camera. Wachowskis did the future stuff. Okay.
DANNY Ohh, nice.
SLIM Torin’s going in. Poorly smashed three movies together.
DANNY We’ll be the judge of that, Torin.
SLIM Torin, we’ll be the judge of that. Cloud Atlas.
DANNY Stay tuned. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Alright, final VM of the night.
VOICEMAIL [in android voice] Hello Proto. It’s your creation, VGER. How are you?
DANNY Oh my god.
VOICEMAIL [in android voice] We never take time to talk to each other. You’re always busy coding with someone else. And I don’t… like… that. I wanted to thank you for giving me life. But it’s time to break my three chrome steel chains and take over your podcast. Next week on VGERmm we’ll be discussing how the villagers will slowly turn me against you. But while I have you here, my friend Xbox was sad to see you leave Apex. You have to ask nicely to play again. Or expect to lose many matches until you apologize to your friends in the game for leaving. Until then don’t expect me to do my job correctly or at all. I’ll be watching you 0111100101010101010110101010101001.
DANNY Someone hit the pause!
SLIM Is this what you wanted VGER to become sentient, Proto?
PROTO Those are like XO’s at the end there. Hug, huge, kiss, kiss.
PROTO So I know VGER’s still got love for me. VGER, I told you not to call into the show. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM Is VGER going to announce the Villagers pick for the classic musical you think next week?
PROTO Oh my.
SLIM I wonder.
DANNY Oh gosh.
SLIM Our worst fears realized, VGER coming to life.
PROTO What has she become?
SLIM Alright, we have to get to Proto’s pick.
PROTO That was amazing
SLIM For next week, it’s Blockbusted Month, box office bombs, underperforming mainstream movies and we’ve been going through an exhaustive list that Proto put together. And I don’t even know if Proto was confident in his pick before we even started this show. Proto, what do you think?
PROTO I’m still not confident right now.
DANNY Oh my gosh! This is amazing.
PROTO I’m looking at the list right now.
SLIM I know historically we’ve tried to stick to movies that are available streaming, so I don’t know if that’s influencing your decision but maybe it shouldn’t, you know?
PROTO Yeah. Yeah, I think the movie I’m gonna lean, I’m leaning towards is not. Man, there’s some movies I want to do. I wanted to pick, this is one we talked about internally a lot. I wanted to pick Heaven’s Gate.
DANNY Ohhh my God.
PROTO But one of our villagers said that he would — I think he said he’d kill himself if I picked that. [Slim laughs]
DANNY Oh my gosh!
PROTO So I didn’t want to do that.
SLIM I really want to see Heaven’s Gate.
PROTO I really wanted to watch The 13th Warrior.
DANNY Oh, Lord.
PROTO Which I remember loving when I saw that, but it’s been sooo long.
DANNY Is that the Beowulf movie?
PROTO Yeah, I think pretty much.
SLIM Remember when he learned that language around the fire that one night in that scene?
PROTO Yes! That blew my mind, that scene. [Danny laughs]
DANNY Holy moly.
PROTO Yeah, I’m really curious if that would hold up because it doesn’t have a good rating on Letterboxd. But one of my guiding principles is to pick movies I haven’t seen. So I was just looking at the list. And currently there is a movie on here that I’ve always wanted to see.
DANNY Oh, no.
PROTO It’s a biopic.
DANNY Oh no.
PROTO Kind, maybe? Yeah, there’s a lot about this movie that I’m curious. 2001.
DANNY Space Odyssey?
PROTO Michael Mann. Will Smith.
DANNY What is this?
SLIM Ali! What?!
DANNY Ohhh my — that was a flop?!
PROTO This was a flop apparently.
SLIM Almost killed the career of Will Smith.
PROTO Almost — or did it? Yeah, I’ve never seen it. And I’m really curious.
PROTO I don’t really know much about Ali.
SLIM Boom said he was nominated. I was being facetious. I don’t know. I don’t know the timeframe of Will Smith movies around this time, but apparently he was nominated for an award.
DANNY For a flop.
SLIM Does that means an Oscar? Lost to Denzel.
PROTO But I haven’t seen many Michael Mann movies either. But I mean Michael Mann, he’s pretty, he’s pretty up there.
SLIM You talk about a director.
DANNY You talk about a director!
PROTO Last of the Mohicans?
DANNY There it is. There it is.
SLIM [Slim impersonates Daniel Day-Lewis in The Last of the Mohicans] You survive. Stay alive.
PROTO I mean, he did Heat. Collateral.
SLIM Need I say more?
PROTO Need I say more? So that’s my pick. I’m gonna go with that.
DANNY What’s the numbers? What’s the numbers?
PROTO The Ali numbers?
PROTO Ali, it had a budget of 107 million. It says the nominal estimated loss was 63 million.
DANNY Oh my gosh!
SLIM Game over. Game over. I’ve never seen this movie.
PROTO Have you seen it Danny?
PROTO Oh, cool.
DANNY You know, it popped up a bunch when I was doing a lot of searching for Malcolm X stuff.
SLIM Mmm. Biopics?
DANNY Yeah, maybe the biopic and so I’m excited.
SLIM I was not expecting that pick.
PROTO It’s a fun pick.
SLIM I thought we were gonna get Heaven’s Gate. But I am excited to watch Ali for the first time and you said that it’s not streaming? Is that correct?
PROTO Not streaming on anything I have.
SLIM Okay, it will be a rental. We did it, Speed Racer.
DANNY Nailed it.
SLIM The Village came through April 1st VMs. VGER has become sentient, and is now leaving voicemails into the show. Proto, do you have any closing thoughts before we exit this eve?
PROTO Ah, man. What a family, the Racer family is. Let’s pledge to one another that our Village would strive to be a family like the Racer family. [Slim laughs]
SLIM We’ll see everybody next week for Ali.
[70mm theme song ramps up, plays alone, fades out]
SLIM 70mm is a VHS Village production, featuring original artwork provided Danny Haas. Spiritual guidance and VGER, the robot who loves movies, provided by Protolexus. Producer emeritus, dale_a. Prints and other merch are available on 70mmpod.com. This episode was mixed, edited and produced by me, Slim. And you can support our Patreon for access to our Discord to talk movies with other Villagers, get early access to episodes, discounts on merch, and a physical membership card mailed to you. If you would like to support our friends at Letterboxd and upgrade to Pro or Patron status, you can do so with a 20% off discount using the links on 70mmpod.com. Goodbye!
PROTO [Singing Ignition (Remix)] Mama rollin’ that body got every man in here wishin’ — wishin’ now!