Transcript: Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Transcript of 70mm’s Jurassic World Dominion (2022) Episode.
SLIM Hey, it’s your old pal Slim and this is 70mm, a podcast for film lovers. Every Monday I sit down to talk about recently watched movies with my dear friend and artist Danny Haas.
DANNY Remember when Chris Pratt choked out the Dilophosaurus? [Danny laughs] Stupid ass movie.
SLIM And our own spiritual adviser and movie insider, Protolexus.
PROTO When I got out of this movie, I thought, like, do we know how to make movies? Coming out of this, I wasn’t sure. It’s like, are movies over?
SLIM We also have a very special guest this week, our close personal friend and co host of the movie mixtape podcast, Marcie.
MARCIE I found out something today that it shook me to my core. So, Goldblum in this movie is the same age that Richard Attenborough was in Jurassic Park. And he looks amazing.
SLIM This episode, we are finally ending this journey with Jurassic World Dominion and we asked the question: does Colin Trevorrow belong in prison? We answer that question and talk a bit more about Obi-Wan at the end of this show… now.
[70mm theme song ramps up, plays alone, fades out]
SLIM Obi-Wan Kenobi… [Danny laughs]
DANNY Starting off.
SLIM The series is almost over. And I’ve been getting DMs all week. People are loving hearing us talk about Obi-Wan Kenobi. They’re loving the truth, the realness, Proto. Have you been getting DMs about that?
PROTO Not this week. But they were hot the first week. The truths were that we uncovered.
SLIM Yes, the truths.
PROTO The people who are willing to walk into the light now after that.
SLIM We’re not going to talk about Obi now. Use the chapters to skip ahead. We’ll save that joyous moment for later. And as always, if you just want to skip to the real reason you’re here Jurassic World Dominion. You can use the chapter as a skip to that too. But we have a special guest this episode. Marcie, how we jokingly called our, half jokingly,, our Jurassic Park expert, historian, and a dear close friend of ours, very close friend, a valued member of our community, and co-host of The Movie Mixtape podcast, Marcie welcome home.
MARCIE Hello, I’m so excited to be here. And I’m happy it’s this movie. You know, I didn’t have to prep too hard. I got to just enjoy it. Didn’t have to think too much. So a lot less pressure.
PROTO How many days between you in the Dominion high of seeing this in the theater?
MARCIE I saw it a week ago. So it’s I retain things pretty well. So I still have you know, some things in mind some things I probably forgot. But you know, it’s okay.
SLIM We were talking off air and as I went to go like look at my prep doc today to like make sure all my notes were up to date, I realized I forgot to write any notes down after I saw the movie in the parking lot. And I started to panic a little bit before the show. What do you do to take notes when you go see a movie in the theater for the show?
DANNY Nothing. I don’t do anything. I just remember all the the beats of this movie quite well.
SLIM Alright. Well, Marcie is our guest. I mentioned the Movie Mixtape podcast with Dirkfeelgood. [Slim with a terrible British accent] This is Dirk! Dirkfeelgood!
DANNY Oh god.
SLIM Close friend of ours. And when we have a guest, we usually bring up their letterbox profile to learn a little bit about them. You know, maybe regular listeners. Maybe they don’t know who maybe they don’t know who Marcie is. This is how we learn your number one movie on your four faves on Letterboxd: Roman Holiday. That is your number one movie.
MARCIE I do have two all time favorite movies. But I guess just Roman Holiday, I don’t know, Slim you watched it. I was so happy you watched it. I think that was last year. Yeah, I just I don’t know Audrey Hepburn’s the best I don’t know anybody better and I think Danny watch this too not that long ago.
DANNY Oh yeah, recent watch. I think if I had to five betting that movie, it’s too good.
SLIM If you don’t five bang Roman Holiday, I want you to leave right now.
DANNY Turn the podcast off.
MARCIE Proto’s gonna watch it tonight and give it three stars. [Proto & Danny laugh]
DANNY The risk we take.
SLIM Beautiful film. I remember crying at the end of that.
MARCIE I cry every time I watched that movie and Dirk didn’t cry at all. We watched it. So we did like an all times make like All Timers mix. And that was my pick for that next weekend. And I was insulted that he didn’t cry at the end of that movie.
SLIM I think my favorite parts of the podcast you and Dirk do is when you don’t know something, or when Dirk knows something like you when we played game, we played the cinephile game and you were like far and away the most knowledgeable movie person that we know. And then when Dirk knows something, it’s almost like you it doesn’t compute in your brain that like jerk would know something about movies, and you have to like restart.
MARCIE I tried to be like polite about it. And he’s like, are you patronizing me? And I’m like no… [Danny laughs]
SLIM Number two movie, which leads us into this episode, is the OG Jurassic Park.
MARCIE Yeah, it makes me question, like were sequels a mistake? [Marcie laughs]
PROTO Save it for the show.
SLIM What was your Do you have a memory seeing Jurassic Park for the first time?
MARCIE Yeah, I do. So I was too young to go see that in a theater. But I’m pretty sure I was like, for the first time I watched my mom had it on VHS. And I think she just put it on because I think like all kids do, like dinosaurs. You know, that movie is very traumatizing when you’re little, but it’s something that you know, I I’ve just had basically my whole life. And I think in my latest review for it, I just wrote like, as I get older, that movie means something different to me. So right now I’m in that Sam Neill phase, like I want to maybe like kids, maybe I want to be around kids. I don’t know. Maybe I want to start a family. I don’t know.
SLIM Settle down.
MARCIE So yeah, next phase is Richard Attenborough crazy billionaire phase.
SLIM Third movie is another movie we’ve covered, Pride and Prejudice, your third all time fave movie.
MARCIE Yeah, I think when I first found the show, so you guys like how I found you guys, is through actually through Letterboxd Danny’s first set of directors pins. They shared it. I was like, Oh, that’s really cool. So I found you guys through that. And the first episode you were doing at that time was a Muppet Christmas Carol, which I know Danny hates. But it’s my favorite Christmas movie. And I was like, Are these my people? And I’m pretty sure after I got through that the first one I listened to after that was the Pride and Prejudice and I think my jaw dropped when Proto gave it five stars.
SLIM Proto gave that five stars?
MARCIE Yeah, he did.
PROTO I had a righteous anger in that episode.
MARCIE That’s a perfect movie. I love that movie. And I think they and the Danny was sharing like, his girls are all named after Pride and Prejudice.
DANNY Darcy, yeah.
SLIM What an ep. I think I gave that three and a half stars.
MARCIE Thanks, Slim.
SLIM And yet, you still stuck with us after that. So I appreciate that. Fourth movie is one that we have been so close to doing.
DANNY So close.
SLIM You know, we have votes in our community that VHS Village Discord. We put it sometimes we put it up to the community. You know, do you want us to cover this movie? And we have tournaments and it’s lost every time? The Thing, John Carpenter’s legendary movie.
MARCIE Yeah, it’s the 40th anniversary… just saying. So if you guys really, you know, you know, but I was I think I was joking a while ago that if you had like a final for bracket of just 1982 is the thing. It would still somehow lose and we would vote for like Mariah Carey’s Glitter or something. [Slim & Danny laugh]
DANNY It’s so true.
SLIM 40th anniversary of that movie… Interesting. The Hiway theater by me had like a thing screening I think of last week and they had a trivia night. And they partnered with the brewery next door for a whole The Thing extravaganza.
MARCIE Oh, that sounds amazing Oh, I forgot to mention too. So we have a little like comic convention here in Pittsburgh. It happens like three times a year but the next one’s in August and John Carpenter is actually going to be here so I’m gonna go meet him. I’m really excited.
PROTO In the flesh.
SLIM I thought you said Proto, I thought you’re gonna say Proto is going to be there.
MARCIE Maybe now he will be.
SLIM Movie Insider.
PROTO Can I get a booth?
MARCIE He’s gonna wear a little Spring helmet.
PROTO It’s just going to be me in the booth.
SLIM Probably wouldn’t even be there. 90% of the time. There just be like a sheet of paper saying movie insider on lunch or something? Maybe he’ll return. All right, so those are Marcy’s four. I think that gives a great picture into But potentially or discussion later for Jurassic World dominion. But real quick let’s let’s see if we have time to see what our other hosts have watched this week part of did you make time for anything after Dominion?
PROTO What was the last movie I talked about last week? I’m trying to look at my schedule.
SLIM You didn’t talk about First Blood at all.
PROTO First Blood. Sylvester Stallone, up to his old tricks. I’ve never seen this before. And I’ve seen I think bits of like Rambo to probably on TV. And I think when you talked about this, I think you talked about this as well, just being surprised the direction of this movie that it’s set in the US, just not the story I would have expected from this. But really entertaining this Greenbrae kind of on the run in the I think he’s in like Oregon, or like Seattle area. Yaks. The PDX is on the road up there. But I had a great time watching this. I gave it three stars. Um, it’s nice and short is 93 minutes. Love to see it.
SLIM Even today that feels like such a forward-thinking movie.
DANNY I have seen First Blood. But it’s way BLB, it hasn’t been a recent watch for me. I’d love to go back in.
SLIM Easy five banger.
DANNY Easy five banger?
SLIM Easy five bang. I watched the 4k last year. It was incredible.
PROTO You know, I was thinking this would look real good in 4k.
DANNY What’d you watch it on Proto? What’s the streaming on?
PROTO It’s on HBO Max.
DANNY Not in 4k?
SLIM HBO, come on, gotta wake up. Please. Marcie, when was last time you watched First Blood with Sly Stallone?
MARCIE So I’ve never seen any of the Rambo movies. I know.
DANNY Is it time?
PROTO Now’s the time.
SLIM Rambo Month, right after Jurassic World Month.
MARCIE Are we doing this?
SLIM No, we could not do that.
DANNY No way.
SLIM People would riot.
PROTO How about on the mixtape? Can we do a Rambo mixtape?
SLIM Sly Stallone’s abs mixtape podcast.
PROTO Oh, the only other thing is I got to watch the movie RRR on Netflix. This is from India. Man, this movie is such a fun ride. It’s It’s wild. Definitely worth checking out. I’ve never seen anything like it. I have to say, it was so rare. It’s so refreshing seeing movies outside of Hollywood that just have a completely different take on how to even like make a movie. Or just things like culturally that you would have in a story that you just don’t see. Like there’s this. It’s about these two guys who really have like a bromance in this movie, just like fall in love as friends. And it’s It’s wild. I’ve never seen a movie like this. So highly recommend that.
SLIM Yeah, they’re not like actual historical figures. And that it’s like, I think the The movie tells a part that’s like undocumented in their history. And they’re like, what if they met during this period of time? Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Danny, you have to watch this.
DANNY I’m thinking about it. Is it considered Bollywood? This is Bollywood?
SLIM No, I think it’s Tollywood. It’s in Telangana. Yeah. But the Netflix version, I think is in Hindi. But I think the original actors redubbed it. So you know, it’s one of those things where people like you didn’t see it in theaters. Present. But if you can watch it at home, it’s still it’s still a lot of fun. Marcy, your thoughts on AR AR?
MARCIE Well, I’m like really failing here. I still haven’t seen that.
SLIM Movie historian Marcie, no Rambo, no Tollywood. I mean, you do the math.
MARCIE I’m gonna go now.
SLIM Danny, did you have any time to watch movies? What were you watching this week?
DANNY Listen, I didn’t watch any movies this week. But I’ve poured hours and hours and hours into the Duffer Brothers fourth season of Stranger Things. And what pisses me off watching the show, is all I can think about is what if Disney cared as much about Obi-Wan that Netflix cares about Stranger Things? Because this show is a masterclass on storytelling, design, production value, performances from these kids and adults. I’m just, I’m floored by this season. And it’s the juxtaposition of watching this side by side with Obi-Wan is maddening. Like it makes Obi-Wan, my viewing of Obi-Wan worse, because I can’t believe I’d go from the finale of this are the seventh episode of this season, not the finale yet to this last episode of Obi-Wan and I was just pissed. Like absolutely pissed off, because this season is Stranger Things is incredible.
SLIM Yeah, it’s really good. I mean, there’s even some like green screen that looks comparatively bad in Stranger Things but I didn’t like didn’t even care because of like the overall quality of the season.
DANNY In the seventh episode, I’m not spoiling anything. There’s about five storylines going in. It is a master work on storytelling. Like you’re not lost ever. And it’s just incredible.
SLIM Marcie, your thoughts on Stranger Things?
MARCIE I have to say Max is one of my favorite characters and before we were recording, I think Danny just rewatch her big heavy episode.
DANNY Dear Billy episode.
MARCIE And I think that’s been my favorite episode so far. Absolutely insane. Slim was saying it has a really really good ending in it and it really does and I got very emotional munching man episode. Yes. Um, this season’s really creepy. I’m really shocked I mean, I guess they kind of step it up every season but I will say there is a villain on the show and it’s kind of a familiar actor so I kind of knew early on that they were going to be a big bad so that was that’s the only problem like when you know actors to Oh, you’re like oh, they don’t have them in here for not a you know, something’s gonna happen.
SLIM Yeah, Max’s character is one of the best addition to the show. Oh, I love Yeah, I remember we were watching we mainlined this Amanda, my wife and I all in one day because I incorrectly thought this was the final season. until like two months later, I was like, Oh my God, they’re actually coming back for more like even just the two up next two episodes, but like another season.
PROTO There’s gonna be a fifth season?
DANNY It’s gonna be a big time jump. And there was a tweet recently that said, when the Duffer Brothers presented the final story to Netflix, that the Netflix producers left in tears.
SLIM Get the hell outta here! That is the silliest thing I’ve ever heard!
PROTO Are they going to future-age the kids?
DANNY Proper age at this point.
SLIM Do you think when they presented the Obi-Wan outline that Filoni and Favreau were brought to tears?
DANNY No outline was presented anywhere for Obi-Wan. [Slim laughs] They just pointed the cameras and said, “go”.
SLIM So that’s just a taste of our Obi thoughts later in the show. If you want to stick around for that. Proto, when are you getting on the Stranger Things ride?
PROTO Man, this makes me really hyped for it. That’s high praise.
Wait, where are you at on Stranger Things Proto?
PROTO I watched, when season three came out, we were on vacation that year. I don’t know was that 2018 2019? I don’t remember. But we I watched to like on vacation and just never watched anymore. So I’m like at the beginning of season three. But now I kind of want to wait to watch it with my kids.
SLIM Your kids might be too young for I mean, at least the current season because the current season is like…
PROTO 10 years is gonna fly by, listen I can wait. There’s a lot of other shows to watch between now and 10 years.
SLIM Okay, so let’s say hello to some patrons, some new patron friends that joined us this week at 70mm.com. You can get access to uncut episodes, there are some we should have like 20 minutes or so bonus. Capital C content with these episodes. Discounts on Danny’s beautiful prints. Aaron, Austin, Brad and John all joined this week. And we’re still you know, people have been asking us about what’s what’s common next for supporter episodes. What’s next? main question I get asked when is the next Proto audio dispatch coming? I don’t know the answer to that. But it’s soon.
PROTO No one knows the answer.
SLIM Very soon. We’re so close.
PROTO Yeah, that is true. Very close.
SLIM Marcie, any movies that you wanted to spotlight before we get into Dominion?
MARCIE Oh, yeah, I’ll talk about one you and Dirk were kind of talking about it a little bit today. So we have our new mix starting next week. And it’s monster theme and dirt pig, the 2017 movie I Kill Giants. A graphic novel as well. I haven’t read the graphic novel yet. I’m waiting. Well, I watched the movie Dirk said watch the movie first. And I thought it was really good. I really liked it. I just was looking on letterbox though and I saw you had watched it Slim and like maybe like two other people. So I just wanted to mention this movie because I think it’s really good and really relatable to a lot of people. But I don’t think a lot of people know about it. So I just wanted to throw that out there like please go watch this movie. It’s It’s very sad and heavy. But I think you know like it’s one thing we just all love about movies. It’s like when you can relate and connect to people in them and this was a big movie for me that did that checked all those boxes.
SLIM I Kill Giants amazing comic book, graphic novel, whatever you prefer to call it. That’s on the top for many people’s lists.
DANNY I Kill Giants is top tier comics for sure.
PROTO I read I Kill Giants with my friends of our PaperKeg, they covered that back in the day.
SLIM We did an episode on that one. And for some inside trivia, one of the rare podcast appearances on that show from my wife. My wife was on that episode. And I met Joe Kelly, the writer of I kill giants and he signed it he dedicated he like wrote a little something for both me and my wife. It was one of the few books that we both love. So definitely check out if you can. I think it’s time…
DANNY I can hear John Williams.
SLIM Rolling over in his grave. It’s time to end this journey once and for all. We knew it was always leading to this. You know, we got we ended up getting an apple feature out of it from our close personal friends at Apple. Thank you for that. Was it worth it? Was it worth it? In the end? We’re here dominion. We have the foremost expert in all things Jurassic Park. To discuss this movie Frodo. One final time for this journey.
PROTO Four years have passed since dinosaurs were unleashed upon the earth. Claire is still working to protect the dinos. Her and Owen are also protecting Maisie this iconic human clone who released all dinosaurs from James Cromwells basement. But just when they thought they were safe, the evil bios in genetics kidnaps Macy with plans to use her DNA to make a lot of money. They have also released extinct giant locusts to eat all of their rivals crops and start a worldwide famine. Ellie Sadler and Alan Grant, perform an SNL skit to get a DNA sample from the bio sind lab where they find the kidnapped Macy and everyone else how they all got there. It’s not worth explaining. If you’re concerned that are there dinosaurs in this? Yes, there are and there are some alpha dinos fighting at the end, the locusts are stopped by Olsen’s evil deeds are uncovered and the amazing chemistry between Ellie and Alan blossoms on screen in Jurassic World dominion.
Boy, boy, boy, we’re here. Now Marcie, you have Jurassic Park in your four paves? How did you feel when you found out and started your journey of seeing the Jurassic World movies? Like over what was your anticipation like when jurassic world number one kicked off?
MARCIE So it had been a while since they had made a dress like Park movie three. I do enjoy. I really do love the loss world. I know. I know how you feel. But I do really like the second and the third one of Jurassic Park because it still has like, some DNA of the original. But it had been a while and I was so pumped for Jurassic World I just thought like the trailers. I thought they did a really good job with marketing. I was like this is it like we’re going to we’re going back to like how it was. I I’m going to be as kind as I can be. Yeah, I think that was the most disappointed I’ve ever been in a theater.
DANNY My word.
SLIM Alright, so fast forward, Fallen Kingdom. You know, you’re years later. You have the disappointment maybe in the rear view. What was that experience like?
MARCIE So I didn’t even go to the theater to see like Jurassic World. We did rent it one night. And I think I just most of the time, I was just looking at damn like, Is this really happening? Like, like basically like, like, you know, like, they massacred by boy give like
PROTO Massacred him again.
SLIM Yeah, second guess as after fallen Kingdom last week. Danna you were like you know, you’re on board you’re excited.
DANNY Smoothie right I mean, it’s hard. It was really hard for me not to be excited knowing we were getting Lord turned back we were getting Alan Grant and we’re getting Ian Malcolm back the three of them on screen. So it was really hard for not to not be excited about that because we’re finally getting the promise of Jurassic World. You know the alleged promise of the whole world being covered and dinosaurs this is what it was all leading to But not one trailer showed a locus, like not one locus in a trailer and that became the a plot for this movie.
SLIM Going in hard Alright, sorry, you can’t number one.
DANNY So we got that we thought we were seeing a movie about dinosaurs or you’re seeing a movie about locusts farming issues and and that couldn’t be the most maddening thing about this film.
SLIM Agricultural demise isn’t what you wanted to go see when you saw Jurassic World?
DANNY No. I signed up for dinosaurs walking through Central Park, demolishing women and children, just annihilating the cities, that’s what I was signed up for for Jurassic World and what we got was locusts catching fire but somehow still being able to fly with their wings on fire to decimate this valley.
PROTO Danny, that is so right. There wasn’t one scene of like an alpha dinosaur walking into a city.
DANNY And there were like, there were like screenshots Oh, my gosh, like wallpapers for your computers of, of what they try pasted together dry through thing.
SLIM Remember that shot that was circulating online?
DANNY So no, they nothing paid off on this third film that we were promised. I mean, they in the second one with T Rex yelling at a lion. And like this was it. They’re unleashed on the world. We get to see what happens. But no, we’re still in a park that they’ve corralled all these dinosaurs in again. And we’re back to just some idiotic scheme.
SLIM Marcie, did you feel bamboozled?
MARCIE I was really disappointed with that. Because like, you have dinosaurs like, what? What more? Do you need the dinosaurs? You know, I don’t understand. I actually like, I think it’s the two kids in the beginning on that farm, and you hear something coming, and I just assumed it was going to be like the T Rex or something. It’s like, okay, that’s a big loud noise that has to be it. Right? Know what, what is this? You know, it was really just confusing, because I know, that company. I’m sorry, I can’t even think of the name. Yeah, they’re a big part of the book. But we’ve never heard of them in the movie franchise before. Really, I think maybe like, that is well, we’ll get into the villain in this movie. But who like Nigeria is working with on the side? I think that’s the company, at least in the book. And I don’t know if they’ve really mentioned it in the first movie. I don’t think they know.
SLIM I don’t think they named them by the company in the first movie. So full disclosure. I didn’t even know that the main villain Dodgson was the same character that from working with Newman until I was on the Wikipedia and I was right. Oh, stupid.
PROTO Oh, wait. He’s supposed to be the guy from the first scene. Yeah.
MARCIE Like telling me that when we left the theater, because I was like, Wait, am I correct? And that’s the name. That’s who they were saying. And I was like, GTFO like, Are you kidding me?
SLIM There’s also a scene where like, Goldblum says Dodgson? Like really weird. At the end. He’s like Dodgson. And I was like, What a weird delivery and then on the Wikipedia, it’s like the same character. First of all, he’s like, the worst villain of all time. Oh, my gosh. And then if you’re curious why they didn’t cast the OG actor. Apparently that guy went to prison. So he’s not acting. Right? Yeah. So that that whole thing and he’s like the main villain in the first two books.
MARCIE Yeah, but I mean really minor character from the first movie even but I what I think okay, so I mean, in Jurassic World, they like heavily imply that BD Wong is the main bad guy behind everything. But they just decided to give him this like redemption arc for no reason. And I feel like they should have just stuck with like BD long, because we remember he has a more prominent role in the first one. He’s pretty relevant in Jurassic World. And he shows up in fallen kingdom. So why not just have, you know, just make and people know who BD Wong is, you know, I don’t think people know who Glen Campbell is really the guy that plays dogs, or whatever. He was so odd. He made me so uncomfortable.
PROTO There were some. There were some scenes where they’re having those conversations. And there’s like these weird, awkward interactions that are very obvious between characters. And you’re like, Why is this still in the movie? Yeah. As if there was some relevance for having these weird conversations between the characters, but it was just there as if this is just the way it was written for like no one to know how to talk to another human. It was like they’re all like testing to see if, like, Are you a real person? Their interactions. It was so bizarre some of the conversations in this movie, and especially with the Datsun character, that dude’s hair cut. That guy’s Campbell Scott and Nice, the whole movie. I’m watching this and I’m thinking, Where have I seen this guy? Because I knew I’ve seen a movie. And my mom used to have a movie on VHS called the love letter. This was like a direct to VHS movie that we some reason had. And it’s like this guy. Sorry, this is my Campbell’s got a tangent here. But he’s, he’s exchanging love letters with a woman, like, who’s living during the Civil civil war. And he’s, he’s a computer game designer in like, one time, and they both share a death. So he puts a letter in, and then she gets it on the other side. And like the whole movie is like them developing like this relationship and like falling in love through writing these letters. But Campbell Scott is in that movie from 1998. So the whole time I’m watching this, I’m like, How do I know this guy? And I get out and I couldn’t believe it was Campbell Scott from the love letter.
SLIM Oh my god, Ellen is in it too, Kate Capshaw. Yeesh what a cast. Oh, man. Yeah, Diane points out that this felt like a really obvious Tim Cook parody almost underpriced. Like what if Tim Cook was evil? So I thought very strange. All so many interactions with this character on screen. Were just like nonsense, weird stuff. Marcy was like your number one officially the villain or do you have a dad?
DANNY My number one went into a tangent. I’m sorry.
PROTO That was my be my number one.
MARCIE Got it. No, my number one I think is gonna be pretty obvious. My number one is Jeff Goldblum. What? Oh, Jeff. I found out something today that it shook me to my core. So go blue in this movie, is the same age that Richard Attenborough was in Jurassic Park. Oh my god. Amazing.
SLIM The other thing we haven’t really talked spoken about. But you have a healthy obsession with Jeff Goldblum.
MARCIE Very healthy. Yeah. He is just I’ve met him too in person. He’s actually from where I live, too. So he comes here quite a bit. We have like a holiday for him in July in a free thing. It’s like, oh my gosh, she’s so he has been my big celebrity crush since I was like little and you kind of start realizing you have crushes on people. But it was because of the loss world. I think he looks the best in that one. But I think that’s why I like that one’s cuz it’s his baby, too. But I was not laughing a lot during this movie. And then he kind of showed up and I just started really laughing because I’m pretty sure they didn’t give him a script. I think they just said be the best for whom you can be and like set them out into the wild. I can see these like teaching that class in the beginning. And I was expecting it to be like Indiana Jones and all the students have like, love you. Looking at him, like —
SLIM To play devil’s advocate, I didn’t love Goldblum in this and I don’t know he I wanted more weird Goldbloom which is odd to say. Like I could see the total opposite happening where he was too weird and be like, Oh, he’s just too weird as maybe I wanted him to go nuts. like it’d be weird. I just felt like his his stuff in the movie packs is saying bandslam In chat. And crush says he didn’t have enough to do I guess that could be true as well. Like he is allegedly the kind of whistleblower in BIOS and he got a job there. But he’s not really the main whistleblower. So he he gets just kind of like shoved in with the main characters of the OG movie a little bit too much for me. Part of what did you think of Goldblum in this?
PROTO Um, I think of the humor in this he really I think he really hit it the most. I think whenever he said something I thought it was it was pretty funny. Like whenever jokes he tried to crack brought some I don’t know some professionalism. Yeah, some level. I mean, he was like the one actor who could like save a scene in this or who wasn’t just collecting a paycheck. So I enjoyed his role in this even though it was nonsense. I have the first thing when they’re at bios and right and he’s he sees the alley. And they’re there together and Alan, and then he like, pulls her aside and like, you know, you kind of they’re, they’re up to business to you gotta get downstairs. Like he’s like telling her like pointing her away from the camera. Just an incredibly awkward scene. And I have to admit, when I got out of this movie, I thought, like, has anyone ever made a good movie? Like, do you know how to make movies? Watching like coming out of this? I wasn’t sure. It’s like our movies over. Yeah. Like what I’m seeing on screen some of these scenes between characters in the way This was written is so bizarre that I’m shocked that it’s in a major motion picture.
SLIM So the scene that Ian Malcolm’s interested in this maybe it just leads into my first point but I mean, was that not an obvious Indiana Jones homage? Right like that seemed to have those in this.
SLIM There are more Oh, maj is in this movie than I have ever seen anywhere like and not even just like a franchise in this single movie. Yeah, there are more than I’ve ever seen. It took me out of the movie completely. Like when we first see Sam. I mean, everything is a redo. Everything is a redo of the of the first movie.
MARCIE They’re wearing the same outfits to. Yeah, I couldn’t believe it.
SLIM Like at a certain point. You’re like, Hey, this is fun, right? Like, we have the same 1000 We’re in the same hut. But they do it. Maybe 20 more times in different scenes in the whole movie. Danny, did you had to have caught that stuff too?
DANNY Right. Oh, do you know what it feels like to be electrocuted by a fence? Oh, yeah, Sam does. This stupid ass jokes throwing back to the first movie to remind people why we’re in the seats at all. I was actually pissed every time they cut away from the the OG three. I just was like, I don’t want to see Dallas or Pratt running around anymore. There’s also 15 leads in this movie. It’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen.
SLIM Every scene where they were all together was completely ludicrous. Like moving around the car.
DANNY That was the dumbest scene in cinema history.
SLIM The car scene was too much.
DANNY They start off with, nobody move. And all of them are circling this car. Like I don’t even understand.
SLIM Someone on set be like, Colin, they’re moving! They’re all moving, Colin!
DANNY I don’t believe Colin showed up to film any of this.
PROTO I agree.
DANNY Once he turned in his check, he was done, cashed out.
MARCIE He was an intern the whole time.
PROTO I think an AI might have wrote the script. [Marcie & Danny laugh] Right? Doesn’t it feel like a script an AI would spit out?
DANNY What is it, the Dall-e mini sit, someone types in Jurassic Dominion script and nine scenes popped up for them to create for this movie.
PROTO It gave them it gave the AI like the five other scripts and such like just make a new one. And it just took every scene from the other movies.
SLIM Also another like I really cringe scene was when they’re trying to get into that like that one area with a ladder where they had to climb up. Yes. And the whole cast is there. They’re inside trying to kick the dinosaur out. And one of them I think the pilot does sound was senior talking about the there which the pilot has like a gun or something and it shoots at it. And they all like sigh and then the music hits like Dan and it’s so dumb. The whole thing. I couldn’t deal with it. Oh my God.
PROTO And the thing about the homage as well is when ice when there was a scene and I couldn’t place it I just assumed it was from last world or jurassic park three was like Oh, I haven’t seen those movies in 15 or 20 years. So this scene is probably there’s an homage in there to that like that’s how heavy handed it all was. And there was even like little things like just like one off things that would be from one of the movies like such overkill with that stuff.
MARCIE Yeah, like they were like shoving nostalgia down your throat but the thing that made Dan and I the most angry was whatever Datsun like leaving towards the end and he has the barber sell. There’s no way in hell anybody ever found that barber so can Are you kidding me?
DANNY No. Shelf of like replicas like he just came back from ComiCon and bought all this shit from Jurassic Park booth.
SLIM I mean, that scene before that, where he’s talking to I think the Ramsey character, the real mole. The guy from that Netflix show that I liked. Like I can’t Oh, yeah, that’s right. He gives a speech to him about how they’ll rebuild like, Oh, you’re doing great job. He he talks for maybe five minutes straight. And the brand’s the character says nothing. And the cameras he’s shown like five times. He’s like, I’m not like you and then he leaves one of the worst scenes in the movie. Easily. Top three worst scenes.
DANNY Was this Trevorrow’s Rise of Skywalker script just swapped out for Jurassic Park characters?
SLIM Did read that he brought a lot of the crew that he was working with him on that you said the
DANNY mole that I thought about hooks And I wonder if this is this is what he did.
SLIM Yeah, the the aerosol can just dumb. Danny what’s your number two?
DANNY I don’t even know anymore. Hold on. Okay, I do have a scene I like I’m gonna talk about scene I like I loved the cave scene where they had to, like the most terrifying scene of the movie where they had to get out through the cave system because it’s all shut down. And there was all those dinosaurs in the dark and Sam Neill had a torch and it was like, I was just getting like, Indiana Jones thrombey And I was just very excited for that scene. What a great had a great jumpscare to when he climbed to the top of that ladder. But that’s that’s I like the cave scene. That’s the only scene like knows maybe that’s like when
MARCIE I think it starts to get funny though because when they’re like locked out and goblins trying to put the code in, he’s like, I’m under the mole and subtyping he’s like, everyone just stay positive. Like, on the other side. He was really cracking me up.
DANNY I agree. That’s it. That’s all I got for another point. Someone else talk.
SLIM I think there might have been an homage drink when we say I think there might have been an homage where he lights that thing. I remember eye rolling as he was in that cave system. There was a line in there. That was another retread to like yuck, yuck elbow rub yoke, but
MARCIE He also has to go back for his hat to Allen does
SLIM Yeah, that was like, just like
DANNY And going back for his hat.
SLIM Is there anything real and original in this movie? Now in this entire script? Maybe
DANNY The dinosaurs project was going to be dinosaurs.
SLIM Oh my god will tell you give a
PROTO Yeah, I have a positive probably the I think the highlight of the movie too, DeWanda Wise. Yeah, I thought she was great. I mean, her pretty much her role in this isn’t needed. There’s already 15 characters in this movie. You do not need to add like this other character. But I thought she was great. Like, I could see her being like a star like I kind of watching her. I was like, I want to see her like in an action movie. Like as a lead. She was just like, really compelling and like, really, like commanded the scene she was in. I was like, I’ve never seen her before. So I thought she she was great. Mixed in with just all the the terribleness surrounding her eye.
MARCIE She really stood out to me too. I was even thinking like maybe just, you know if you want Chris Pratt to continue just get her and Chris Pratt. You just need two people. You don’t need a please. Universe. I’m just saying world for I just don’t know why she was helping them though. You know what I mean? She’s like, well, I saw your daughter theory. Yeah, her heel turn was weird. Yeah, that that was a little off. But she was really cool. I really thought like, it’s hard to add new characters, especially when you have like the original three. Come back, but she really stood out to me. I think she was probably like my second like, go boom, you can’t be cool, but she was probably my second favorite characters.
DANNY I feel like Trevorrow watched one episode of Disney’s Tailspin and just like I got to add a character with a seaplane in this movie.
SLIM There was probably a tailspin season three or montage that we just didn’t match. Just maybe all of her dialogue was from tailspin. She it definitely felt like a character. That was like a potential spin off. Like maybe we get a unit. What’s the universal app is that Peacock, maybe a peacock original series with her flying around trying to catch dinos or something like we’re an animated show, Kristen that no pilot, or whatever that show was called the Jurassic Park one. My number two —
DANNY We’re doing positive slim, positives.
SLIM There, so I loved Bryce in this. I thought what I liked Bryce, but then on a shirt. I liked pricing this I liked her scene where she had to go in the water to hide I thought that whole thing was really cool. Where she’s the cameras focused on her crawling into the water and the dinosaur is behind her the whole time. But that was really inventive. And this there’s many concept shots in this movie that like made it in like the one field shot where the moonlight is going through the trees and you can see the mist like there’s a bunch of those like oddball concept shots that I remember loving in like, Godzilla King of the Monsters whatever. That Godzilla movie that came out that I thought was bad, but looked cool. Correct. There was a lot of those shots in this that I really dug. I don’t know how they made it in considering everything else that was in this movie. The shot of her jumping out of the plane was the coolest in the movie. Oh, that was cool. The camera was like focused on her while she was Yeah, on the chair. And the parachute adj kiss you Hey, Did that look terrible? So I wanted to mention the pilot. If you eliminate her storyline, you probably can cut out like 40 minutes of this movie.
DANNY Cut her out. 45 minutes. Yeah.
SLIM The idea that the original characters in the first movie, the nerd guy that everyone loves. And then the second movie, the nerd guy that I liked. They are now CIA operatives. Excuse me. And then not only that, but he hands over undercover information to Pratt.
DANNY And Friday one on the job.
SLIM He’s like his first week and he’s pulling us up on a tablet. I couldn’t believe it.
PROTO Guys, I really got to get back to work at the CIA. But here’s some insight
MARCIE He works with looks like Nedry, did you notice that? One guy looks like a young new injury. I thought he did. At least I was really I was like, oh, Prudhoe, there’s your new injury.
DANNY And I’ll never watch the movie again. So I’ll never catch it.
SLIM Alright, so that was my number two and a bonus negative. So Danny, Danny number three?
DANNY Number three. I guess I just liked the redemption of Ellie and Alan. I think I liked that the and I did get the chills when they kissed. That’s another positive I guess. Other than that? I don’t know. I don’t even know why I wasn’t even very excited about the last dyno fight scene. But I keep thinking about that scene. How weird it was that T Rex played dead. And the long finger guys showed up. That was blind. I don’t know how he didn’t see Dallas to begin with.
SLIM For all I know all dinosaurs are blind in this movie.
DANNY Yeah, I don’t I don’t have a third. That’s about it. That’s all my like many notes.
SLIM Did you notice how when they’re you showed them together? They were wearing clothes from the 70s. Why? Like when they’re outside of the courthouse, it looked like they were dressed in a totally different decade. And even the characters of the actors in the background look like they were dressed in another decade. Very strange.
DANNY Now this won’t surprise you, but I don’t remember a court scene.
SLIM I don’t even know what you’re talking about. That’s when they were outside. He was like going to testify or something against biospin. Oh, okay. Sure.
That was an homage to the Harrison Ford movie we just watched Gene Hackman. Yeah, my third was also Ellie and Alan I’ve had written down that they could have also completely removed this pot, as well. There’s just so like the first half of the movie, or more. Ellie and Alan are on this covert operation to break into bison to steal the DNA of the locusts like this. This looks like the skit that would be on SNL about Jurassic World. Like with how stupid this is like, and like every scene is just so bizarre of them. Like getting in there. And like having no idea what to do. Sneaking downstairs, putting on these suits with the masks like all the little jokes of like Alan just like fumbling around. It was just like so juvenile and so strange. And I was thinking, how much are they getting paid to do this? Because how do they feel about like, knowing what drastic Park is to like, come back to do this movie, like read this script? Beyond that, like they actually had to do this. They had to be at the set, you know, when actually shoot these scenes, right and live it? Like how did they feel about it?
DANNY I’m really curious. I don’t even know.
MARCIE I feel like Laura Dern probably needed the most convincing because Samuel like no offense, but he’s not really up to much nowadays. pig farms. Amazing. On Instagram. It was a good time. golems just up for a good time. I think he was happy to see those two again. And the Lord turns no one Oscar winner. Like what did they have to pay her to bring her back but I can’t imagine reading that script and like Purdue is saying like just thinking about how perfect the original one is. And it’s like we were in a masterpiece together. Like what are we doing? Yeah, what are we doing here?
DANNY No one who wrote these world movies understood what made Jurassic Park magical like no one understood the the perfect wonder I think proto said it right in one of the episodes recently that the like all of seeing dinosaurs and the magic of that kind of movie. They could not recapture again and they didn’t understand in these three movies what that what it why why we love Jurassic Park so much. They just knew that they would take our money to see these movies.
SLIM Marcie, number three.
MARCIE So I will say my number three I tried to stay positive for my my three love it my top three We will. But I, whenever we did see dinosaurs, I mean, they went back and did a lot of animatronics for this movie a lot more practical effects. I thought that was really cool. Because that is the big magic of the first one. But also like, the first one works so well, because you only see the dinosaurs so often. And now in these movies, they’re just like in your face. 24/7. But there were some dinosaurs that came back we haven’t seen for a while and my theater was really packed and people were getting really excited. Like when you would hear blue. Yeah, you’re like, Oh, that’s a raptor. Yeah. But the big one that got people really cheering. And I kind of was like, oh, yeah, that’s exciting was when you heard that the lawful sources before they showed up. And you knew what that sound was? What was coming, and I thought that was really cool. And I’m just glad, like they did go back and tried to use less CGI, actually made some real dinosaurs for this movie. So yeah, that’s my other positive.
DANNY Remember when Chris Pratt choked down the Dilophosaurus. [Danny laughs] Stupid ass movie.
PROTO That was another scene, right? He chokes it out, like and there’s like 10 seconds of Bryce Dallas, Howard frozen in fear. He chokes it out. And like they had just found each other.
SLIM Like, I don’t I’ll be honest, I don’t even remember that scene. I don’t think that at all. I will say my son gave it five stars. My son had a great time watching this. Also ahead. So we’re walking to the theater. And I was like, Do you remember the first two movies? Do I need to give you like a, like a reminder? And he’s like, Yeah, I don’t remember anything. And I was like, what the last one ended with the clone girl, releasing the dinosaurs into society. And he made like the stinkiest I face that I’ve ever seen from him. He was not aware of what was going on.
MARCIE Did you guys think like when the movie ended that you’re like, This plot didn’t even need to happen. Nothing’s changed. Like literally, they’re all in the same spot. Every dinosaurs are still in the wild. Like, I kind of feel like maybe they should have saved releasing dinosaurs into the wild for the end of this movie. You know, that would have been way cooler ending because they didn’t do anything or resolve anything about dinosaurs being in the wild. They’re like, we got to figure this out in the beginning. And then it was like, well, they’re here too bad, I guess.
SLIM Yeah, there’s there was nothing cool in a city with dinosaurs. Like, I don’t understand. Did they just skip over the murderers that the T Rex was probably responsible for, like the hundreds of eaten human beings and its belly? Like there was nothing cool in a city that showed like, I mean, they did show that little girl playing with like a little dyno a park by the lake. And I just can’t wrap my head around these little things just not annihilated every human tear doc was on top of the Freedom Tower or something. You mean to tell me that things not swooping down, you know, center that
DANNY We saw what it does to people. Right, exactly.
PROTO Another thought I had just about the story too, is that there’s no reason other than it has the name and to make money. But imagine if this movie was put towards just a different dinosaur story. Like why is it? Why does it have to be in this universe? I just finished watching the last few episodes of primal, the animated show, which is amazing. It’s there’s like no words. It’s about like a prehistoric man. And, like a giant carnivorous dinosaur. Like living together. And they don’t. I mean, they communicate but they don’t talk and it’s amazing. I was like this. This writing is amazing. What if someone had money to make like a really cool dinosaur movie? And not this garbage that we are getting? Yeah, it makes me angry. Where’s my Good Dinosaur Movies?
SLIM What’s it in philosophy pasture? Is that what we needed to watch? Next week? Religious dinosaur month. So my final thoughts. I couldn’t get over BD Wong sweater and his hair. Like it’s just too on the nose. It was very strange. Looks so feeble in that thing. Everyone doing the hand thing? iZombie
PROTO Oh my god. It’s like Colin Trevorrow read all the comments online about that and decided to lean into it.
SLIM I mean, so corny. Marcy, do you think that was one of your Do you love it?
MARCIE I don’t even know how to feel about it. Like, I mean, I couldn’t help but thinking of like squatting grant just because we were posting about it a little bit. And I just was like, he just looks like an old man in pain.
SLIM He also has no ass. That was my main note as I was singing in the theater when he’s walking around. It’s like inverted his pants. They’re somehow going into like a black hole where his rear end should be.
DANNY And we know it’s not true. We just saw on the piano. He’s got an ass.
SLIM He’s got an ass that moves. But not in what what a
DANNY Trevorrow do to his ass. He wrote his ass out of the script.
PROTO Removed it.
MARCIE with CGIs cheeks climb. Just the whole time because he was scared.
PROTO I don’t know he asked.
SLIM Should Colin Trevorrow be in prison after this trilogy? Let’s get into the actual debate was just really debate whether or not he should be a felon after this movie. I’m just going through my honorable mentions the black market villain. What’s her character’s name? Um, I was saying earlier, I can’t remember if we said earlier, but just nonsense. I wrote. I didn’t know her name, but one girl villain where she was.
MARCIE She looked like she looked like Mirage from being credible.
SLIM It was so bizarre how close she looked to that character. Maybe that was the homage.
PROTO She was reminding me of the broker from Mission Impossible fallout. Yeah.
DANNY Oh Marcelino from here not be named dollhouse TV show. That’s where I knew her from.
SLIM Oh, interesting. All right, that’s my notes. The agenda. I will say the general idea of this franchise is a good one. They leave the park and it becomes about humans and dinosaurs coexisting. It’s a good idea. Yeah, it is. And that’s where it ends. I’m not even sure if this is a two star movie. Gosh. I’m gonna say I’ll stay at two stars. Watch two stars for the end of this journey for dominion for me. Danny FINAL THOUGHTS raining?
DANNY Um, I don’t really have any other final thoughts. I am with you. Two stars for this Dominion made the first Jurassic world looked like a masterpiece. So yeah, two stars easily I could go down to one. If I’m
SLIM Planning on the time of day, you could go down one.
DANNY If I see this again, that’s going down to a one.
SLIM You know, I was pretty much I was the first actor rises Skywalker. I know. I’m bringing it up. He almost did rise of Skywalker and I was in the camp of like, man, whatever, bring it up. The script was not great. But some parts of the script that he did not get to do was good. And now I mean, rises Skywalker looks like you know, freakin return the Jedi, right? To the Dominion. Proto final thoughts.
PROTO Final thoughts? This really isn’t a movie. It’s just a perverse series of sequences attempting to wring every last bit of nostalgia from Jurassic Park. It’s it’s like a business transaction. Like we go to the theater. They roll out this Frankenstein of a movie that resembles the first movie. And they say look, remember how great all this was? But it was really demoralizing. And I was just thinking like, what is what if like Colin did this to like, I don’t know. Yeah, like, what if he got to Star Wars trilogy? Like, what if we live in a reality where he does this to like another franchise? Because it he made I mean, this movie is making money. Like they all made amazing money. So it’s like, Hey, he’s he’s doing something right? For someone? Oh, yeah, one star for this dominion.
DANNY I mean, we’re we’re living where we just watched a sequel to Top Gun, where it deals with continuing the story. returning characters from the original film, new characters that are well written into the story like this. That’s how you do this kind of sequel to a already standard like masterpiece. And then now we see dominion and they don’t know what to do. It’s crazy.
PROTO Yeah, Top Gun saved cinema. And Dominion just put it back in a coma.
SLIM Back in the coffin. Marcy final thoughts and reading.
MARCIE Oh, one other thing that really annoyed me was Chris Pratt falls into that frozen lake, and then is completely dry the next scene and how did he not die of hypothermia? Oh my god. I don’t know. But I will say though, when we when the movie ended, there was a little boy in our theater and he gave a big whoo that was awesome. And Yoda to the whole theater. So I was really happy.
DANNY Don’t let it fool you, Marcie.
MARCIE I did really like seeing the original three together. I just love those three so much. So I’m giving two stars for the original three.
SLIM Oh my gosh. Yeah. Maybe this is that kids Jurassic Park. You know, we’re the olds not into Jurassic Park. When that came out. We’re like our parents like this sucks.
PROTO You know animatronics.
DANNY Is this the lowest rated movie we’ve ever done with four people?
SLIM Doesn’t even meet the average of like a three person episode. Oh boy. All right, the journey is finished. We did it. I’m not sure if it was the right decision. But we have finished the road to gymnastic world. And we will have some plans for July. We do have some ideas, and I’ll just tease it out. It’s going to include a vote. It’s going to include a votes time in our community. And if longtime listeners remember, votes historically have not gone well. No, you know, in our community, the thing has lost a vote, I think five times in our Discord travesty. All right, so we have one more week in June. And I’ll just tell you right now what it’s going to be so it’s June is Pride Month. Unfortunately, our pride month was the Jurassic World universe. So we’re going to turn it back around, trying to turn it back around another chance. We were thinking of a fun movie that we could cover to close out the month. And we have settled together as friends forever on 2019 Directed by Olivia Wilde booksmart Oh, that is going to be a movie next week. It’s streaming on Hulu, so I’m excited to rewatch that same that’ll be fine very big week we need to walk we need to wash the stink off this journey off of us right now.
PROTO Wash it off. Get the hose out that’s gonna take a while.
SLIM Streaming on Hulu. But now I think it’s time for us to get to the real reason why people are here to talk about Ben Kenobi, Disney+ episode five I think this is the the episode before the last one discord users might know proto and eyes thoughts already. We’ll get to that but I would love to hear you did all the channel Yeah, you haven’t muted anything. You haven’t seen anything.
DANNY I don’t want to see anything, we’ve seen enough.
SLIM You’re sitting down it just to be clear the internet loved this episode. This is an incredible episode. You get what people are waiting to see finally happening Danny How did you feel?
DANNY Okay. So when when you see the the throwback to Attack of the Clones era and I can Obi-Wan I got it. I got I got excited. I got the chills. And then Hayden turns around. And he looks way too old to be in this era. And I’m confused because in Book of boba. We get a great looking Mark Hamill. Face. I don’t understand why Hayden looks like this. I was so confused. But it’s fine. I just move on. And then we get back to the storyline of him running from place to get to a place to talk to Riva to run from place to get to a place to talk to Riva again. And I am absolutely bored out of my mind. Like I just don’t understand what is happening and everything is so ugly, like incredibly ugly. All of the stormtroopers in that weird single file in that valley looked it just looks everything looks like a bad video game. Like it’s not even like fallen order quality. It’s just incredibly bad.
SLIM Why did they not CGI his face?
DANNY That’s what I mean.
SLIM I don’t get he just maybe he like refused. I mean, I so yeah, Mikey,
DANNY I know Hayden’s 20 years older, I know this Mikey, is what the problem.
SLIM That’s the minute you’re like this close this close Mikey and chat. Yeah, I did ask for deaging. Mikey. You saw how Hayden looked? He looks present day Hayden. If I’m watching pushing like this theme, this flashback is supposed to take place. Attack of the Clones. And he looks like he’s 50. Like, even Obi did I just didn’t quite get it.
SLIM Marcie, what did you think?
MARCIE I like Obi-Wan. I don’t know if I did, I wasn’t caught up today and I was napping pretty hard. And I woke up to a threat from Danny watched so I made sure to watch it but I kind of liked that the flashback wasn’t just all at one time that it was like throughout the episode. I thought that was pretty smart. And I really like the third sister. I liked that she had her big reveal. In this episode. I thought that was pretty cool. I you know, like I understand like, why would you go up against Vader, but that’s like what she’s been trying to do. Since everything happened, so I kind of enjoyed their fight and I’m glad I guess she’s still around, but the end did confuse me a little bit. Is she gonna go after loop now or I guess she’s so. Okay. All right, that was a little bit confusing so there’s only one episode left right?
SLIM Yeah for this season.
MARCIE It’s just too much left to do for they kind of do this with the Marvel shows I know no sorry Danny cover.
DANNY Marvel right now Obi-Wan
MARCIE But I think like actually watching the Marvel shows has prepared me for Obi Wan where like I think they’re decent they’re not like the best thing ever but it’s like I have that mindset now where I think like I enjoy Obi Wan like
DANNY My main complaints are visual. Like I hate the way this show looks. I don’t mind the story beats I’ve enjoyed Riva story. I like what they’ve done with her character being the young lady that survived Anakin, etc. I like that. I just can’t get over how ugly this show is like
SLIM Traynor just pointed out. Remember when Netflix had Marvel shows that were 10 out of 10 Daredevil or how people were like losing their mind.
DANNY Exactly. This is and I’m watching Stranger Things like 30 million episode we gasped at but you know it looks at this if they had the same budget for this I’m gonna lose it.
SLIM There’s no way they put $30 million.
DANNY 30 million a year wins pockets.
MARCIE They’re more worried about honestly though. I think paying the actors they want the right people. But maybe not so much spreading that money everywhere else is maybe the issue.
SLIM Yeah, Proto. Any thoughts on this episode?
Yeah, well, I would say the quality of this episode is what I was expecting from maybe like the first episode, I felt like this was on par with what I expected from mando or what I saw from mando and like Boba Fett. So this would have been like the quality because I think the last two has been much better in terms of like quality. Like the first two was just such a shock to the system. I just I think they’re like some of the worst episodes in, you know, in Disney plus. So I was like, if this would have been the first episode, I would have been happy. Like if this was the quality so yeah, there’s a lot of problems and yeah, and I guess I’m just now used to it like, Danny, like you’re saying that scene of them at the blast door. Like there’s nothing interesting about any of this. It’s it’s just like, it’s an empty room with walls and the door.
DANNY Walk up with a lightsaber and cut in half with no problem. Like, why didn’t you do that?
SLIM Can you have a full whispering conversation through? Is it made out of Adamantium doorstop? It doesn’t make any sense.
PROTO Yeah, and we were talking in discord that I think the thing that drives me crazy the most about the show and these all these Star Wars shows is just like the weird writing of how they get themselves into like these weird positions where they want something to happen. And they just choose the weirdest direction of him getting captured by Riva but then it not really mattering because he just gets away so that he can get on the ship and the shad nothing seems to make any sense it’s as if like their hands are tied someone’s like giving them this terrible script and they with like an ad libs where there’s like some solutions that aren’t filled in and they have to like work with like this just a weird story that if I don’t know it just it’s so strange. This the story beats in this along on on top of everything else.
SLIM I just hate to be negative all the time. But But So thankfully, Jurassic World is over. That’s it. We’ll go out with a bang. The Vader thing like Vader pulling the ship like and then you go back to the first or second episode where a sniper was five feet from Vader and there was some flames ahead of him. And he was absolutely powerless. But in this episode, he’s forced pulling a ship in mid air back down to earth, whatever.
DANNY But couldn’t catch the second one. But he must have ran out of mana.
PROTO Well that’s the other thing is that we have no sense of what to expect from these moments. Right him like pulling a ship out of the sky is was should be really cool. But I don’t think it should shock us because in the episode before he couldn’t get through a bunch of you know, hot coals on the ground.
DANNY Just levitated.
SLIM He could have force leaped. I said this previous. You’re a sith lord. Also I couldn’t deal with his little hand. His little force his little hand fight with Riva. He has no smallest hand I’ve ever seen in a Star Wars anything. It’s so weird. Look at Oh my god. At this point. I’m like, I know I’m nitpicking every little thing. But I’m trying not to be so negative. But his little hand I couldn’t do because all you talk about is the exact scene I thought of from scary movie, and I couldn’t. I was cracking up watching it’s gotten to the point where I’m laughing watching the show and I No, that’s not happy. But there was also a moment like Rivas lightsaber he throws he Chuck’s the lightsaber at Riva and this is just like the biggest nit pick you could possibly hear. The lightsaber is at her feet. She’s standing in front of Darth Vader. Use the effing force to pick up the lightsaber she bends over to pick up a lightsaber. Get out on my effing faced with a shelf.
DANNY I want a mad at once using his own.
SLIM Where is the onset nerd? That is do has a checkbox who’s this? The Star Wars universe librarian saying like actually, you know what? Jedi at this stage? Probably would use the Force to pick that lightsaber up. I think Vader’s hands are a little too small here. Can Can he wear two gloves to make his fingers look like her? So I it’s depressing. Why the action in my mind is over. It’s finished.
DANNY The choreography of these fights to i It’s maddening. Like I watch Stranger Things I’m gonna keep coming back to it because I don’t care. Whether there’s a fight in a shack a 10 by 10 shack that looked better than anything they’ve put out as a fight scene and this whole series
SLIM You have you have Sith fights, like go crazy.
DANNY How about this plan of walking Obi Wan back behind glass doors with two stormtroopers as if anything is going to stop him from getting away from them. Why did he does she just leave Obi Wan next to her side? Or Vader to show up? Let me just walk them back into this cave and closed doors with two stormtroopers that are going to what stop Obi-Wan Kenobi.
SLIM I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going to happen in this final episode. But I know that my I was the point trainer. My hopes and dreams for the show have have been dashed.
DANNY It’s stupid. So that’s my point.
PROTO The point was so she could release him after she got him so that he’s career.
SLIM Traynor has never said one negative thing about Star Wars in our entire Discord relationship with Traynor. I don’t know if he’s a secret agent for Star Wars. I want him as Kathleen Kennedy. I want him investigated. Alright, enough enough about Kenobi we need to end on a positive note. Next week we have booksmart on on Hulu. Marcy, what can people look forward to if they’re not already subscribed to the the mixtape podcast with Duke feel good what’s what’s the what’s the mix that people need to be listening to right now?
MARCIE I think our favorite mix we’ve done so far we really had a good Japan mix and Mikey P was on an episode Mikey pure executive producer. That was a lot of fun. So if you want to go back we did. A prisoner Scorpion prisoner I’m sorry. He’s gonna kill me for female prisoner score. And we did shoplifters and mighty pigs at high low and it was a really fun fun mix it like we’re going on to monsters dirt picked I kill giants. My pick will be Gremlins 2, we have a special guests coming on for this next that I told Slim about. Mr. Chaos himself, Mr. Kablasto.
SLIM Last time anyone is a member of our communities. Baton spider they’ll know that name. It sends chills down your spine if you know that name.
DANNY All right, here’s a pan flute right now.
MARCIE Don’t tag him in the discord because he will show up and he will not leave.
SLIM I mean previous episodes me covered Shawn the daddy covered Hot Rod, Ex Machina na while you were sleeping so and whiplash had an episode so yeah, no real overlap with our show. That’s another reason why maybe people were hesitant. Check it out. Check it out. And Mortal Kombat was your first ep?
MARCIE Dirk and I started talking that’s it was like day one in the discord here. He left a voicemail on Mr. Nobody for Mortal Kombat. And I was like, oh, I want to watch this. And he was like, you don’t have to watch this. You don’t have to watch this. And that’s how we started talking. So that was like the joke that was gonna be our first episode. Yeah.
SLIM What a journey. Marcie. Thank you for coming on.
MARCIE Thank you guys. I’m glad we got through it together.
SLIM We’re stronger now.
PROTO I think we’re here for each other. Thank you Marcie.
DANNY Stronger than ever.
SLIM Thank thanks to Colin. Really.
DANNY This is his plan all along to bring people closer.
SLIM Proto, closing thoughts this episode as we move on to something new?
PROTO You know, things are volatile in the world right now. Crypto is in a tailspin. US they’re in a tailspin and there isn’t even Dinosaurs in our world. And their follow up. Could you imagine the state of crypto in Jurassic World? college should have put a little bit about that, you know, stock prices with crypto. But you know what would would be great? In Jurassic World still stocks would be rising of movies. Imagine you have real dinosaurs that you could put in movies. It would be amazing content. So it’s just proof that dinosaurs were let loose in the world movies would still thrive. And that’s something you can rely on.
SLIM The Insider does it again. Next week, Booksmart streaming on Hulu.
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