Transcript: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Transcript of 70mm’s Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) Episode.
SLIM Hey, it’s your old pal Slim. And this is 70mm, a podcast for film lovers. Every Monday I’m joined by famous artist Danny Haas.
DANNY [Danny wheeze/laughs for 5 seconds]
SLIM And spiritual advisor, Protolexus.
PROTO Kali Maaaa. Kali Ma Shakti De.
SLIM And together as friends forever, we discuss recently watched movies. Later in this episode, we’re continuing with Indiana June’s, this time with Temple of Doom. Is this a forgotten classic in the franchise? Or does Willie ruin it for everyone? Let’s find out… now.
[70mm theme song ramps up, plays alone, fades out]
SLIM Do we want to talk about this Amazon business with our box sets?
DANNY Let’s do this.
SLIM Do we want to just get into it? Proto, how do you how do you feel about this delay in shipping from Amazon that we found out about this week?
DANNY I’m pissed.
PROTO Maybe we’re the idiots. [Slim & Danny laugh] Maybe we should have done Indiana Jul… Jules… ly… July. [Danny laughs] Maybe we should’ve done this in July.
SLIM Maybe. Who could have foreseen that Amazon would push the release date of this box set almost an entire month? Sent our DMs into total disarray this morning.
SLIM Did you cancel yours Danny?
DANNY Producer Ian took the time to find my zip code —
SLIM Former producer.
DANNY Former producer, disgraced. And he found the box set at a Best Buy near me. And gave me the link. So I cancelled Amazon on the spot. Ordered my Best Buy box set.
SLIM Steel book.
DANNY Steel books. They’re there waiting for me.
SLIM Oh my god.
DANNY I’ll pick them up Saturday.
DANNY Eat it Amazon.
PROTO The steel cut.
SLIM Shop local. You know, as Mikey P, friend of the show would say, shop local, go to Best Buy.
PROTO Wonderful local store Best Buy for all your hardware electronic needs. Please support them.
SLIM I, in a frantic fugue state, I pulled the trigger and bought the digital versions on VUDU right away. As soon as I got that email notice. I was sweating, just praying that Amanda doesn’t you know send a screenshot of our bank records tomorrow afternoon at some point just with question mark texts.
PROTO Change the passwords. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM Change the password to the PNC account right now. So I actually fired up the Raiders of the Lost Ark on my TV in 4K UHD. I had to get a taste of it, a little bit. Had to get a taste!
DANNY How’d it taste?
SLIM Tasted real good!
DANNY Oh, man.
SLIM I’ll tell you what.
DANNY Oh, man.
SLIM Yeah, tasted the clearest thing I have ever seen Indiana Jones in.
DANNY Could you taste Harrison?
SLIM I could taste all of Harrison.
DANNY Oh my.
SLIM As I was sitting in my lazy boy watching Raiders of the Lost Ark. But I will say, you know, it’s an older movie. We talked about it how some of the stuff was kind of like out of focus on Paramount+, America’s network. And there is some film grain in the footage. Like it’s an old you know, it’s an old print or whatever. But it looks amazing. It looks gorgeous. I love it. I haven’t watched the whole thing through but I’m excited to enjoy at least the digital 4K versions. You know, thank you VUDU, shop local.
DANNY Thank you VUDU.
SLIM Vudu.com, check them out.
DANNY Does it again. [Slim laughs]
SLIM I mentioned a little bit earlier off the cuff about how we did a poll. You know would people be interested in the uncut live versions of this show. Instead of the edited versions on Fridays, our patrons, four bucks a month you get access to exclusive episodes, our Discord, the VHS Village and Danny is a new patron this week. Welcome Danny. Not you Danny, different Danny.
DANNY Excuse me?
SLIM From Rank Kings podcast. So with this release, I will be shooting out the uncut version of this episode of patrons this week. See how it goes, fingers crossed. Don’t ruin it for everybody. Okay?
DANNY They will.
SLIM But there was a percentage of people that still wanted the edited episodes. So they will be getting the edited versions as well at some point on Friday. Maybe not as soon as usual. Just a heads up. Proto, how do you feel about being uncut?
DANNY Excuse me? [Danny laughs]
SLIM For our patrons.
PROTO I think, you know, out of any of us, I should be the most worried. [Danny laughs] I am, I am, because Slim does a lot, you do a lot of work to make me sound good and who knows what these you know these, these…
PROTO Sickos in the Village might do with with my uncut audio. I’m worried.
SLIM I think it’d be funny to do the poll again after like a month. You know, what do you prefer on Fridays? And then the winds change and everyone prefers the edited. [Slim & Proto laugh] Danny, you’re on assignment right? You’re on assignment at the beach this week. Did you have time to watching anything?
DANNY I’m on assignment. I knew that we were doing Temple this week. So I had to get in the right mindset to have this conversation about Temple of Doom. So I’ve been here at the beach since Saturday. Soakin’ it in. Drinking. Playing with my kids. Dad life.
SLIM Have you even moved from the beach at all? Every photo you post you’re just sitting on the beach.
SLIM It feels like you’ve been doing this for a month.
DANNY Feels like it. Ready to be home, actually, I’m gonna be honest. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM Before, was it before the break, where you watch some of the Raiders making of stuff? Is that what you watched this week? I checked your Letterboxd.
DANNY Raiders making of, no, what you saw in my Letterboxd was the guys who made their own version of Raiders, called Raiders The Adaptation. So when they were like kids, they were doing a shot for shot remake of Raiders of the Lost Ark. And so they, you can watch the movie. And then they did a document then Drafthouse, picked it up and made a documentary about these guys making this film. The only part of the movie they couldn’t make was the airplane blowing up scene. So the documentary kind of follows them until adulthood. And they finally raised the money to do that scene with the airplane blown up fighting the big Nazi. It’s really fun. It’s crazy to see them as kids, recreating, you know the movie.
PROTO Did they play all the roles?
DANNY Yeah. And they get all their friends to do it. They almost burn down their parents house doing the bar fight scene and actually lighting people on fire. It’s absolutely amazing. And it’s like the dream have anything to do this with your friends. So it’s brilliant. And then they eventually got it in front of Spielberg. And Spielberg watched it and they got to meet them at DreamWorks.
DANNY They’re on the universal lot I believe.
SLIM That’s pretty cool. Was that recorded?
DANNY You should watch, the documentary you can watch and then you can watch their actual film. You can watch Raiders.
SLIM Marcie’s asking if we can try this. Marcie, thanks for taking this on.
PROTO Let us know how it’s going Marcie.
DANNY Marcie, we need someone to play Willie in our Temple. [Slim laughs] And then we need someone to play Short Round.
SLIM Thank you, Marcie.
DANNY Thank you, Marcie. If you want to do both, that’d be great. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Quote “get the hell out”.
PROTO Double bill.
SLIM Proto, did you watch anything this week? You weren’t on vacation. You’re at home, you know, building the house while having a full time job.
PROTO Yeah, I had time to watch a movie. And I picked a movie from my long watchlist. I watched — tell me if you’ve heard of this — The Last Detail.
DANNY Excuse me?
PROTO This is a movie from 1973 Directed by Hal Ashby. And it stars, which really the thing that intrigued me about this, it stars Jack Nicholson. And the poster of this movie, is Jack Nicholson staring right into the camera, holding a cigar, shirtless with a Seaman’s cap on.
SLIM He looked like Popeye almost, there was almost like an adaptation of Popeye with Jack Nicholson.
PROTO Yeah, it is. It is a little Popeye-ish. I think I thought that while I was watching, I was like he would make a great Popeye. But it isn’t Popeye. It’s instead about these two sailors played by Jack Nicholson and Otis Young, who have to they are they have a detail, which is just like I guess, their vernacular for a task, you know, an order that they’re given that they have to carry out. And their order is they have to escort a prisoner from one location to another. I think they’re somewhere like south of New York. And they have to go above Boston, and they’re given a week to do this task. But it really only would take two days. So you know, they’re given a stipend of money to do it. And then they have this idea well, like, let’s just get them there. And then we can, you know, we don’t have to get back right away. We can just, you know, blow this money doing whatever we want. But as they go on their journey, this prisoner they’re transporting is a young Randy Quaid. And then Jack feels bad for Randy, because he’s going to be you know, spend some time in the clink so he, they decide to, you know, have a good time with him. It’s not a great movie. I don’t think. I gave it three stars because there’s, you know, there’s parts that I liked about and there’s parts I really didn’t like, Randy Quaid being the number one, the thing that I took away from this movie the most was like, you can see the brilliance of Jack Nicholson in this. And you can see why Randy Quaid didn’t have a career after this movie. [Slim & Danny laugh] Because he is just so bad. He tries to sink the whole thing. But yeah, I don’t know this kind of came out of nowhere. You know, sometimes, sometimes you just got to, you swing. You close your eyes and you swing. You hope you make contact. And you know, sometimes it just dribbles down to first base. And that’s the way it goes. So that was, that was the movie. I watched this week.
DANNY The dribbler.
SLIM Yeah, I remember I posted in the Discord after your Letterboxd review came in “did Proto lose a bet?” when I saw this review come in. This is the way the watchlist crumbles sometimes.
SLIM Isn’t Randy Quaid in other stuff though?
DANNY No, he died.
SLIM Rest in peace.
PROTO Yeah, he died in Independence Day. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM Stupid ass. Comment in chat from Soph, co-host of the FILM HAGS podcast. “Proto can find time to watch this but can’t finish The Farewell?” Food for thought.
PROTO Oh! Should I give my Farewell update? [Slim gasps]
DANNY Oh! Ohhhh.
SLIM Get ready.
PROTO Farewell update. I haven’t watched it yet. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM Ay caramba. Every week on Letterboxd, we’re on there every day rather. But every week on the show, we give away a free year of Letterboxed Pro lets you find out where movies like the last detail are streaming so you can watch it for free on the server so you pay for but also gets rid of ads. And this week’s winner of a free year of Letterboxd Pro, the social network for film lovers, @inkandfable on Instagram.
DANNY Oh my!
SLIM Inkandfable, Patience, I believe is her first name, she shared the contact episode on Instagram. So I was like, okay, Patience has some good taste.
DANNY Ohhh, okay.
SLIM And I backtracked and saw that she wrote an article called Seven Films That Shaped my Love of Science Fiction. So I was like, alright. Gonna read this. Contact was on there. And there was a Star Wars movie on there.
DANNY Which one?
SLIM And it was the first Star Wars movie that she’d ever seen. Revenge of the Sith.
DANNY Excuse me. [Slim laugh]
SLIM Exactly what I said.
DANNY Excuse me.
SLIM Uh huh.
DANNY This was her first movie and shaped?
SLIM Yeah, shaped her love of science fiction in film.
DANNY Oh my gosh.
SLIM So inkandfable, you get the free year Letterboxd Pro, congratulations.
DANNY Just found our new best friend. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Are we doing Revenge of the Sith on this podcast?
DANNY You have the power Slim.
SLIM We all have the power. Stay tuned.
DANNY But mainly you.
SLIM Do I want to talk about a movie? I want to go —
DANNY I want you to!
SLIM What’s that?
DANNY I want you to.
SLIM Thank you. Someone posted in our DMs, I can’t remember who it was. I’m sorry. I apologize in advance. They at’d us to do Speed for this podcast and the amount of DMs that came in agreeing that we should do Speed at some point on this show was staggering.
DANNY Can I be honest real quick about Speed?
SLIM Have you never seen Speed?
DANNY I don’t think so. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Oh my God.
DANNY I don’t think I have!
SLIM Keanu. Sondra Bullack.
DANNY Yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen it.
SLIM Dennis Hopper. Chats blowing up right now. Yoli hasn’t seen it either. Kylo agrees. Speed Month.
PROTO What’s bigger? Speed or Point Break?
SLIM My God. What a double feat that would be. Would that be the biggest episode in the history of this show?
DANNY Of podcasting.
SLIM I ask you.
PROTO Undoubted. [Slim laughs]
SLIM A while ago I mentioned how I watched the Planet of the Apes movies. Remember that? Amanda and I did some like house works. I just sat down and watched them all.
DANNY There’s record of that. Yeah.
SLIM There’s record out somewhere in the show. Or dear friend Dale, producer at large, he’s not in the studio tonight. Still on sabbatical from the show. Doing the BAT & SPIDER podcast under the TAPEDECK umbrella. They’re doing the entire month of July, The Planet of the Apes movies.
DANNY Oh my god, I’m so excited.
SLIM So if you missed the boat, and you’re like man, I wish I would have gone back and watch those ape movies, #hotapesummer, BAT & SPIDER pod, they’ll be going through them all, that’s the official hashtag I think that the marketing team has come up with.
DANNY I love it.
SLIM Savy “it’s been less than a minute since my return and already “hot ape summer”. [Slim & Danny laugh]
PROTO Welcome back.
SLIM We should get into Temple of Doom. That’s why everyone’s here. Temple of Doom, burning our Discord to the ground this week, the variation of ratings. I put in our IG “do you love Temple of Doom?” Yes or no. A staggering 88% said yes. Staggering.
PROTO Silent majority.
SLIM Silent majority, Temple of Doom, I think running at a 3.5 rating according to our VGER supercomputer who loves movies that Proto built. Indiana Junes, Proto, are you ready to take us through Temple of Doom?
[Indiana Jones theme music plays]
PROTO Kaliiiii Ma. Kali Maaaa. Kali Ma Shakti De. There is evil in the world. And sometimes bad guys do things for selfish reasons. And they still set the world right. Indiana Jones and his sidekick Short Round find themselves in a small village in northern India, where a darkness has been growing where sacred relics and children have been stolen. Nearby, there is an ominous castle, a home to vampire bats and a maniacal chef. But Indy is going there. Yes, to stop a growing evil from overcoming the world and to release countless children from enslavement. And there is some human sacrifice which isn’t so good, so he wants to stop that as well. [Slim & Danny laugh] But most of all, he’s after the fortune and glory, kid. The fortune and glory that awaits him in the Temple of Doom.
[Indiana Jones theme music ramps up, plays alone, fades out]
SLIM It’s all been leading to this.
SLIM Sheesh. We had a big hit last week, the numbers came in. We were you know, pulling the numbers through, nodding at each other. And we’re gonna see if we can try to replicate it with this controversial film. The second in the OG trilogy. But there’s four movies. I don’t remember the first time I saw this movie, this probably was another superstation repeat movie. Danny, what about you?
DANNY No, I don’t remember watching it for the first time. But I do remember flashbacks of being terrified of the scenes in the temple. So I think I watched it young but not too young. Maybe middle school-ish age. But I’ve seen plenty of times since.
PROTO Yeah, definitely the same, I think caught different pieces of it on TV at times. And it wasn’t till I was older that I sat down and watched it from beginning to end. It was like oh, that’s how this starts. And this is why this happens. And oh, this happened before that. Yeah, so it was kind of pieced together in my mind from watching him on cable first.
SLIM Yeah, we had a conversation in discord this week, the VHS Village, you can join at 70mmpod.com. ’Cause I made a comment last week about this being a quote “prequel” but when this was released, I kind of like follow up about this again, more deeply. And I kind of changed my mind, like prequels weren’t really a thing. This is kind of like an old school serial, I don’t think there’s anything really weird with them releasing the next movie. It’s just a different timeframe in Indiana Jones’ life. I kind of walked back my comments last week about it being weird being a “prequel” quote unquote, what do you guys think about that?
DANNY I mean, I agree with you totally. It is kind of interesting because of the time gap between actual filming of the two, Indy agges, or Harrison ages, what, four years, five years. But he plays a character that should be three years younger than he was in Raiders. So it’s wild.
PROTO Yeah, it’s irrelevant really, if it’s a prequel or not, they’re not connected. Other than that, just like one character Indiana Jones, who’s in it.
DANNY Yeah, exactly.
SLIM The one thing on the wiki had said, I think maybe George Lucas originally conceived the story taking place earlier as a way to just avoid using Nazis as protagonists. Which, I mean, makes sense, but also just, it’s not like the Nazis had a foothold in every location on the planet. He could have just put it anywhere. And just said, maybe the Nazis weren’t around. [Slim laughs] I don’t know how accurate that explanation was, in the end, really.
PROTO I think it’s actually kind of a cool I it would be a cool technique to use and maybe more franchises. I don’t know what you could do. But just the idea of, I don’t know, see if you have a franchise where a beloved character dies in like, you know, the second movie, then you just do like a prequel just to bring that character back and you tell some, you know, one off story about, you know, an adventure they had or whatever. I think there’s, it’s actually a kind of a cool technique in storytelling.
DANNY Yeah, definitely. I agree.
SLIM Let’s see, first thing on my list, this movie starts out, you know, very different from the previous film, there’s a Kate Capshaw singing. It’s like an old school club feel and Indiana Jones is presented almost like a secret like a just a suave secret agent who isn’t a secret agent agent. He’s an archaeologist. And they even introduce him as like, you know, the world famous archaeologist. And he’s talking about how he had to, like, kill a guy who tried to kill him. It’s almost like culture shock from this mousy teacher who leads a double life as you know, a grave robber, almost. How did you guys feel kind of just jumping into this movie from the onset? Proto, we’ll start with you.
PROTO Yeah, the beginning is so different than Raiders. It has, I think it kind of sets the tone I think that it’s going to be you know, maybe a little bit more on the campy side than Raiders was. And just like goofy the whole anecdote vile on the floor being kicked around 10 different times is pretty, is pretty silly. [Slim laughs]
DANNY This is where it started. This is the OG vile kick.
SLIM Never been done.
DANNY Never been done before this.
PROTO Yeah, I was just thinking of like, you know, if people are trying to, they hear gunshot, they’re trying to escape this room. These people would have to be running back and forth across this room multiple times for this all to be happening. [Slim & Danny laughs] Everyone would clear out in five seconds.
SLIM Everyone forgot where the exits were several times while they’re panic running.
DANNY I mean, it’s hard to I mean, when if you have to directly compare it to Raiders it is shockingly different. I’ve seen this too many times for it to like affect me anymore. But every time I see it, though, I think of the Rocketeer club. It just reminds me of this same exact styling I want to see the Rocketeer blast off through the ceiling of glass every time I watch this. But I kind of like Indy in the suit. I mean, he it’s hard to not drool over him walking in. But it just he instantly gets into character. He doesn’t give S who Kate is or who Willie is. Puts a knife, puts the pitchfork in her side and is willing to kill her just to get his diamond. So he’s just right back to being a scumbag.
SLIM The amount of knob talk happening in chat right now while referencing Harrison Ford.
DANNY It’s not even worth looking.
SLIM It should be borderline illegal. It might not even be legal in Canada right now. [Slim laughs]
DANNY Someone’s getting banned.
SLIM Let’s talk about someone real quick. Kate Capshaw. Willie.
DANNY Yes. A vision.
SLIM Willie has been called out several times in the Discord this week about, quote “worst character ever” quote, “ruins movie” quote, “horrifyingly bad” quote.
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom plays]
WILLIE So as a scientist, you do a lot of research?
WILLIE And what sort of research would you do on me?
INDY Nocturnal activities.
WILLIE You mean like what sort of cream I put on my face at night? What position I like to sleep in?
INDY Mating customs.
WILLIE Love rituals?
INDY Primitive… Sexual… Practices.
WILLIE So you’re an authority in that area?
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom ends]
SLIM Let me tell you something, I’m going to be honest with you.
DANNY I want your honesty.
SLIM I’m looking right in your eyes.
DANNY It’s just the three of us, Matt. It’s just the three of us.
SLIM I love Willie in this movie.
DANNY Excuse me? [Danny laughs]
SLIM I looove the character of Willie in this movie. I think she’s a perfect foil. She’s super annoying. [Danny can’t stop laughing] It’s just so fun! I thought she was hilarious, especially when she’s responsible for saving their lives and almost killing them again. I’m cracking up during this movie when Willie’s on screen. You know? I know I’m the minority here but I need to be —
DANNY You’re the honest minority.
SLIM I need to be brave. You know, I wake up every morning, I look in the mirror, I tell myself I need to be brave. And I’m going to do that right now. Proto, your thoughts on Willie?
PROTO Well, yeah, I think she is kind of annoying. There’s times where she’s very loud. But everyone watching this thinking like “Oh, she’s freaking out. Oh, look at Willie.” Nine and a half people out of 10 in the same situation as her, would be reacting the same exact way! You’re saying you’re you’re gonna find an insect that’s six inches long? And you’re not freaking out? Wake up.
DANNY Preach. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Casey says it’s not just her freaking out, they made her stupid. I’m not saying she’s the best character ever written! I’m just saying I enjoyed her in this movie.
PROTO Can stupid people be represented as well in film please? [Danny & Slim laughs]
SLIM Can we not gatekeep —
DANNY The idiots?
SLIM Only intelligent people in movies? What about the rest of us? Okay? You heard me on Dune Pod talking about Inherent Vice. I am Willie! Willie and I are the same, cut from the same cloth! Okay? [Danny & Proto laugh] Cripes alive! Danny, your thoughts on Willie? [Slim laughs]
DANNY I can’t breathe! [Slim & Proto & Danny laugh] My chest hurts. She’s annoying Matt. She’s just annoying. But there’s just I don’t know. There’s just fun scenes with her. She does make me laugh once in a while. It’s so hard because she’s always, she’s just, you watch Raiders and Karen Allen plays the badass Marion. And when you come to Kate playing Willie, it’s just night and day annoying. Like she’s annoying. I don’t mind her. Because I’ve seen this movie so much that I’m numb to it at this point. But there’s moments where she gets under your skin. And then you want to see her burned alive in the pit in the Temple of Doom just to end it all. [Slim & Danny & Proto laugh]
SLIM Alright, let’s move on from Willie.
DANNY We’ll come back to her for sure.
SLIM My dear friend, we can come back. Oh my God, the Photoshop in chat. Proto, what is on your list for Temple of Doom?
PROTO First thing on my list is airplane full of poultry. They escape Shanghai, you know, I forget what that guy is. I don’t know if he’s like a he’s a mob, a mob Lord or whatever.
DANNY Lao Che.
PROTO Lao Che! And they get a plane out of there. And it’s a plane full of chickens. And it’s Lao Che’s plane. And of course we know what happens. They fall asleep. The pilots jump out of the plane in the end, they’re left. But you know, again, you know we’re right back into the thick of it with Indiana Jones where he finds himself in another insane situation. Yeah, and he’s in a pickle. And I still can’t believe it every time it comes on the screen of them jumping out of the plane in a raft boat and hitting the water. Does that work? Has anyone tested this out? [Slim laughs]
DANNY Mythbusters, where are you at?
PROTO Can we get Mythbusters on this?
DANNY Not only did they, no no, they parachute out, land on the side of a mountain, ski down it, then off a cliff into the rapids and then down a river. And we’re supposed to like, oh no, a nuke went off and he hid in the fridge. But this is believable. We’re okay with this.
SLIM Get ready for that episode in two weeks.
DANNY I’m pissed already.
SLIM Danny’s already ornery. Yeah, I love this. I love that stunt.
DANNY It’s so fun. It’s ridiculous. They should be, their bones should be shattered into nothing after that stunt.
SLIM Myth — oh, look at that — Mythbusters link.
DANNY No one click that link. [Slim & Proto laugh]
SLIM Mythbusters, God you couldn’t get through a conversation with a friend of yours 10 years ago without them talking about friggin Mythbusters. [Danny laughs] Man alive, the Neil deGrasse Tyson have its day. There’s a lot of stunts in this movie that are, that I had like forgotten about being so iconic. The raft being one of them. I mean, the, the coal mine scene, that whole thing. The bridge. There’s so many set pieces that I’m like slapping my forehead like oh my god, yeah, this, everyone remembers this. Danny, on your list what do we got?
DANNY Well it went from Willie to Short Round on my list because we’re introduced to him right away. And if anything from this film that I love the most it’s Short Round. I love Ke in this film, I think he’s absolutely incredible. There’s an amazing story if you watch, if you watch the making for this. Spielberg did an open casting call in Chinatown, I think in LA or somewhere over there. And Ke shows up, doesn’t know how to speak English very well. And it just so happens that Harrison was in the office as well that day. And they had the two of them improvise the poker scene where they’re playing cards in the jungle, which is one of my favorites scenes of the movie.
PROTO Oh yeah.
DANNY And Ke does such an amazing job that they added that scene into the movie. So it was like his improv with Harrison on the spot. About the scene was good enough to even put in the film.
DANNY So I just love this kid. I think he’s the shining spot, for me, of this whole film.
SLIM How ‘bout when he tell him that he loves him? Remember when he’s brainwashed?
DANNY Break my heart.
SLIM You kidding me?
PROTO You my best friend!
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom plays]
SHORT ROUND You my best friend!
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom ends]
SLIM You my best friend and then we never see him again for this movie.
DANNY Yeah, he was actually supposed to be — I mean, we’ll talk about Crystal — but he’s actually supposed to show up at the end of Crystal as well.
DANNY Spoilers. At their wedding. And be the one that drives them away and the limo.
SLIM What happened?
DANNY They just didn’t end up filming it.
DANNY But in the actual Indy lore, there was a book that came out I think a couple years ago, a while now and Short Round follows in Indy’s footsteps, becomes an archaeologist and goes back and finds the peacocks eye which is the diamond from the beginning of this movie that gets kicked around. So he goes back and finds it, so I would love for more Short Round.
PROTO Yes. Yeah, his scenes are so good. His interaction with Indy, he really should have been in another movie with him. They’re just dynamic, almost like can anything that you don’t like about the Willie character that is annoying or frustrating, the scenes was Short Round, just make up for it and more. Because they’re just so good. His acting is so great. And just his lines are so fun. He’s just like such a lovable character. Is there a better side sidekick? In cinema?
DANNY Name them. It’s not possible.
SLIM Name five right now in chat.
DANNY Their chemistry is unreal, him and Harrison together were amazing.
SLIM How about when he’s getting the info from the village about how the kids are being stolen. And he like, puts his hands together as he kind of takes it all in and Short Round copied what he was doing.
DANNY He did the Spider-verse.
SLIM Ohhhh, yeah, that’s right. Yeah, yeah. There’s a lot of nice little cool scenes like that with Short Round. One thing I wrote down is the idea of like him having a child sidekick felt very serial, like the serialized strips, very of the time, and how it would just make absolutely no sense today and it would just be so bonkers that like this child would be in danger constantly. [Slim laughs] And just him getting away with so much of you know, just not being like murdered during all these trips and stuff. So I appreciated that in this viewing for sure.
DANNY In our chat the rumble asked were just more Indy lore come from. So there’s there are 16 novels. And there’s the young Indy story. And then the what I referenced for the Short Round was the lost journal of Indiana Jones which was published in 2008, which tells the Short Round story when he goes back to find the peacocks eye.
SLIM We’re gonna be working on getting another expert on next week for the Last Crusade episode. We’ll talk about that later in the show.
DANNY Yeah, we’ll see if we get another expert.
SLIM Big time expert. We’re going to double up big time. Let’s see what else is on my list. No time for love Dr. Jones. Adorable stuff.
DANNY Hold on to your potatoes. [Slim laughs]
SLIM How about it when he asks for the details where he goes, he’s like going into Willie’s room. And he like tells Indy to come back and tell him what happened like right afterward. [Danny & Slim & Proto laugh]
DANNY So good.
SLIM There’s just a lot of funny moments in the movie, them playing cards and her screaming at all the animals. Also when they give them the food to eat in the village, and it’s like more food than they eat and like a month, and their flies are just like flying on the board as she’s about to eat it. Oh my god.
DANNY The way she eats it is disrespectful to everyone on the planet. [Danny & Slim laugh]
SLIM Yeah. The speaking of food scenes, the other the main note I had was, you know, when they go into the — is it a Temple or is just like a mansion?
SLIM The Palace, that’s the word I was looking for. And they have this like infamous scene where they have the food where they’re eating bugs and animals. And it’s like a gross out scene for the Willie character. And I honestly started to like, I was gonna gag with some of the stuff they were eating, even as an adult. It felt bad. But this scene gets talked about a lot in how it’s just completely offensive. You know, the culture would not eat this food. It’s just very tone deaf. And I agree. So I read on the Wiki that there is a scene in the script, where the captain remarks Indiana Jones and says, “A devout Hindu would never touch me Makes you wonder what these people are.” And it was a more obvious hint that something is amiss with all of these characters. There’s something evil happening. How do you not film that?! Like that would have been so helpful to explain that like, you know, this guy is a psycho.
DANNY Right, they’re a cult.
SLIM He’s doing this to freak you out, they’re a cult. This is obviously off. I didn’t even know that that was a thing that was like in the script. But yeah, like, holy shit. You really blew it not including that in the movie. [Slim laughs]
DANNY Well they didn’t expect everyone in 2021 to be hot taking a 37 year old film.
SLIM Proto, your thoughts on the dinner scene?
PROTO Obviously, very problematic. I remember this scene rocking my socks as a kid. Like when they cut open the snake and all the baby snakes come out.
SLIM It’s awful.
DANNY It’s disgusting.
PROTO My god! It’s amazing. It’s so good. And that dude who’s sitting next to Willie, that mustache, that mustache belongs in a museum. That guy, you know, I kinda hate that scene. But I also love it at the same time because it’s so gross. And every meal, I mean, the eyeball soup is just so over the top. But yeah, it’s gross. But like it’s iconic! it’s probably the scene that comes to mind when I think of this movie first.
DANNY Hmm, interesting.
SLIM Wow. Yeah, I never want to see the scene again.
DANNY Until 4K.
SLIM Unless, yeah, maybe unless it’s in 4k when I can see the monkey brains in 4K. Proto, what else is on your list?
PROTO Oh, yeah. When they get to the village. I mean, all these poor bastards in desperate need of a white man. Right? [Slim laughs] The white savior, you know, trope is of course alive and well in this story.
SLIM This is where it started.
PROTO Yeah, this is the first.
DANNY Just like the vile. [Danny laughs] This is where it begins.
PROTO Yeah, it’s so in your face. But I mean, still, I love it! Right? I mean, the idea of someone coming in, you know, I mean, it’s still a classic story. It’s a part of, you know, like Joseph Campbell’s, you know, plot. I always forget what that’s called. But um, yeah, someone from a foreign land coming in and becoming the savior. Like that’s, that’s the whole thing that you know, this is like a, you know, a very classic storytelling technique. And it works so well in this. And I love, I love the lore and the history of this. The, you know, the Hindu gods that are involved. I like — I’m gonna say this — I like this story more than I like Raiders.
PROTO Being involved, I like the story elements, the like, what’s involved. You know, rather than a Judeo Christian you know, elements. I prefer this because it’s so foreign and different to me. I don’t know anything about it. Just, it’s just like wild!
DANNY Makes sense.
PROTO And I love this movie for that.
SLIM Wow. I don’t even know how to respond to that.
DANNY I don’t know where to go from here.
SLIM I thought my Willie take was probably going to be the only hot take.
DANNY I don’t even know if I can do anything worse than that. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Noodle knob at 11, Mel still rolling right now, she’s checking them off in her notepad. Danny, what else you got for Temple of Doom on this viewing?
DANNY Oh man. I mean after the palace — I mean, I don’t want to just, you know roll through this one, right after the palace and it kicks in to. I mean it was kicking into high gear, but when they start going down to the temple, I mean we have the scene where they’re supposed to pretend like they don’t want to each grind with each other in their opposite apartments.
SLIM Oh my god.
DANNY Which is such a dumb scene.
SLIM What?! No.
DANNY You like that?
SLIM When she’s like, “be gentle with me” and she thinks he’s coming in to like me just ravish her. [Danny & Slim laugh] Because she’s all in it.
DANNY He just hung a man from the ceiling fan!
SLIM She’s so like scared when he comes in.
DANNY I do have a question, though. So when Indy, you know, pushes on the breasts of the pillar and it opens up and he yells for Short Round to go back and get their gear does Short Round climb up and take down the hung man from India’s whip?
PROTO I thought the same thing.
DANNY And bring the whip back to him? Does Short Round have to get the dead body off the ceiling?
SLIM That’s old hat for Short Round. That’s nothing for him. He’s the mental capacity of a 30 year old man at this point. All those adventures they’re on together.
DANNY I mean, yeah, so they get down into that temple and the bugs, the bugs are — I don’t mind insects, but this scene wrecks me. I can’t, my skin is crawling, everything about it is unnerving. When they first start stepping on it, and Short Round asked what they’re walking on, oh my gosh! It’s crazy. And if you watch the making of it’s it’s just as bad. I mean, they’re literally putting bugs on her. They’re dropping them through the ceiling on her when she’s trying to kick in. I loved that whole scene too. Because they keep it, it could be absolutely horrifying, but they keep it funny. Like the bits of them inside of the spikes coming and the line where I laugh every time. Where Indy looks through the door or the hole.
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom plays]
INDY We… are doing to DIE!
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom ends]
DANNY And it’s just, it’s so comical. And it makes me laugh and I love it. It’s so, it’s just a great gross scene and Short Rounds the best in it. When he’s just freaking out when she pushes it. He didn’t push it the second time. It’s just so funny.
PROTO You told me to put my, stand up against the wall! [Danny laughs]
DANNY It’s great.
SLIM Just the noise of them walking in that area in the dark when they’re walking on the bugs. So many these scenes I’d be gone.
SLIM I said it last week but I’d be out! Right there. No thank you. Did you notice that there are a few notes of music that Williams does that I feel like I heard music from the Phantom Menace?
DANNY It’s the French horns.
SLIM The fight scene with Darth Maul and Gwi-Gon. I felt like I heard it.
DANNY No. Stop it. Stop it. You did not just mispronounce his name on purpose.
SLIM I thought I heard that music. Duel of the Fates. That’s the one.
DANNY I’m not responding to you.
SLIM We’ll get the intern on that. I’m pretty sure I heard it in the movie.
DANNY Stop it.
SLIM Let’s see, Indy getting whipped is pretty insane. There’s a guy burning alive the underground set —
DANNY You jumped way far ahead.
SLIM Sorry. I’m just going —
DANNY You didn’t get to the rip out, the heart rip out part. Good god!
SLIM I mean, well, yeah, that whole, the whole shift in the plot to the where it’s revealed that you know all the the guy running the palace is a kook. He’s insane. He’s evil. And they show what’s going on down there. This is an R rated movie my friend.
DANNY Hundo. [Proto laughs]
SLIM This is like taking it up a few notches.
DANNY This is disgusting.
SLIM This isn’t a kid’s movie. Ripping out hearts, burning alive. The child labor, child slave labor. It’s pretty crazy stuff which I think is a popular topic with this movie, you know, very dark turn from Spielberg regretting it et cetera, et cetera. Proto, what did you think about this portion of the film?
PROTO I mean, they rip that guy’s heart out, but he only let out one scream. So you know, after it was out, he was okay.
DANNY He was just freaked.
PROTO Yeah, he was just a little freaked out with what’s happening. Yeah, I don’t know much about like, you know, they don’t explain, you know, where’s the why? Why? Why are we doing human sacrifice? But as I was watching, I think I came up with a theory. So there’s that cloth that Indy has, where it shows, I think it’s Kali and Shiva, talking together.
SLIM Kali Maa!
PROTO And my theory is that Shiva was explaining the Kali that in order to get humans down into the underworld, and to avoid any you know, better life, what you have to do is they have to remove the whole and then you literally have to transport them and incinerate their bodies, their bodies into red hot lava. And this is the only way to guarantee transportation from the physical realm to the underworld that Kali wants them in. Of course, I know nothing about Hinduism, or you know, the afterlife in that realm. But that was just my interpretation. So maybe that some of that will stick. Maybe some of that land, but I thought that was a pretty good, maybe, you know, explanation as to why this human sacrifice was needed at this time.
SLIM There you have it. Settled. It’s settled.
DANNY That’s fine with me. We did it.
SLIM Danny, what did you think of the dark aspects of the plot? As it as it pertains to the Indiana Jones franchise thus far?
DANNY I mean, it’s this movie is, yeah, it’s super dark. And, you know, I think we think of John Williams when it comes to like, the Raiders March and the big fanfare, but this scenes where he’s in, when they’re in the temple, and it’s the chanting and the drums and the choral I mean, it dialed, like he’s dialing up the horror aspect of this, like, it’s another side of John Williams that you just, you don’t expect from him. And the music in this scene is like, real terrifying. And I was watching a bunch of the behind the scenes and the guy that they lowered down into the pit, they made a full animatronic body of the guy that looked so real when it caught fire and it melted him moving around flailing about that they had to ask to add flames to come up on the scene. So you couldn’t see his body melted because it was so graphic and horrific. But yeah, this I just I like the darkness of it, because it’s just like this is like the ugly stepchild film of the Indy franchise and no one really wants to talk about it, but it’s as dark, it’s real dark. I mean when you get into the voodoo dolls and the kid stabbing but when they whip Short Round, I mean, that’s so hard to watch!
PROTO Yeah, it’s, it’s wild! You have an army of children enslaved. I mean, again, human sacrifice! Like it’s like yeah, you’re dialing it up to 11 with all this stuff, and I’m here for it. I love it! I love that this story, you know, goes this dark. And is this over the top. I think that’s what makes it you know, memorable.
SLIM The cart scene entirely is a lot of fun. How come we don’t have a Indiana Jones cart ride? You know, in some theme park?
DANNY You have the roller coaster in Paris which isn’t the level of awesomeness that this cart chase scene is. And then there’s the ride and Disneyland which is another kind of runaway Jeep. But yeah, I mean, you this should be a straight up Temple of Doom roller coaster. There’s no reason that this doesn’t exist.
SLIM At the end of the ride you can whip some kids.
DANNY Okay, Matt, you’ve taken it — I mean, maybe my own kids. [Slim laughs]
PROTO How ‘bout there are three miles of a mining track underneath this castle. This goes for fifteen minutes! This this sequence is 15 minutes long.
DANNY It’s the best. I love this scene so much though. I mean, from when this starts, we didn’t get into evil Indy, but when this scene starts until the very end, this film we’re just along for the ride because it’s just non stop. And it’s crazy this because the whole — I know I get into the making ofs, but I love it too much — the whole track is just a circular track in a sound studio that just keeps going in circles and they change the lights to make it look like different sections and then the long shots are all stop motion at ILM they built a whole track and they had a guy with a camera just doing stop motion with three claymation whatever you want to call it inside the car. So it’s just a brilliant filmmaking this whole section is and it’s unreal. From when Indy zip lines into the into the moving car. I mean it’s just, that shot is just so good!
SLIM The shadowboxing, Short Round beating up that, I think Willie was shadowboxing during one of the fights is really adorable. The gun gag, Jonesy referenced earlier in chat the callback to the first movie, which at that point hadn’t happened yet.
DANNY Well there’s two callbacks in that scene, there’s the gun gag. And then there’s the literal callback to Han Solo when he chases the couple guys away with a sword and ends up running into the full army, which is what he does in the movie and he runs into the whole crowd of stormtroopers and then runs away screaming. So there’s the kind of double call back in that one scene.
PROTO I know Indy is a professor of archaeology but I’m not sure if he’s the brightest bulb in the pack.
SLIM Remember the bazooka scene.
PROTO Yeah, bazooka scene and then he continues with that. So, you know, he gets the stones, and then his, he goes to hear, he hears the kids. So he goes around the corner and his first move is to throw a rock at a guard. [Slim laughs]
SLIM He also waited for that kid to get like whipped one or two more times before he made a decision to go back
PROTO Yeah, he was lining it up, you know, he was looking at the trajectory. And then after that, once they, they they, you know, he’s possessed and he rescues Willie, you know, I think Short Round says, you know, you know, what’s the plan. And you know what Indy’s plan is? I’m just going to start punching everybody. [Slim & Danny laugh] There’s still like, 30 bad guys, but he’s just gonna walk up and just start laying in to people. Like Indy, this is the best you’ve got? This is your plan? This is what you’re gonna do? Just start punching people taking keys and unlocking kids. Okay.
SLIM He’s been studying and researching his entire life. And these are the plans he puts together last minute.
DANNY I mean, how about the bridge scene? How good is that scene?
SLIM Another iconic scene! There’s so much in this movie that is timeless. It’s bonkers.
PROTO The wide shot of the bridge with the guards, you know, closing in on him is so good.
DANNY And it’s real! That’s a full, it’s a real bridge across the quarry that they built where a dam was being constructed. They really blowed the bridge, they took they only had one shot at it. He had like 15 cameras on the bridge at once. I mean, it’s unreal. Spielberg.
SLIM I mean, just the realistic, it’s not realistic, the real shot of them. Shooting like Indy in the middle of the bridge with people behind him. You know, like, you’re not replicating that anymore these days. You’re doing that on the soundstage, you’re doing that him in some circular green globe in ILM or whatever. It looks awesome.
DANNY It looks so good. I can’t wait to watch it on 4K.
SLIM Proto, anything else in your list for Temple of Doom that we haven’t covered yet?
PROTO One of the scenes I love is, is when he you know he gets, they have the ceremony of the human sacrifice. And then he goes to grab the stones, and the music, the build up as he takes them. And then when he’s holding it, and he brings them together and they start to glow and the look on his face. You know, really, if you had, this is like the greatest treasure you could find. Like if you brought these stones back and had them in a museum where as you bring them closer together they glow. Like, like, who wouldn’t want to see that? This would be like the greatest find of all time. It’d be amazing! It’s such a great idea for you know, a treasure to be trying to, you know, capture and return. I just love it.
DANNY Proto, I meant to tell you. Since I filmed this in Sri Lanka, there’s a couple reused, because there’s only one other film at that time that was like a big budget film that was filmed there. And it was Bridge on the River Kwai. And they use a couple of the same filming locations for Temple.
PROTO I knew I recognize some of this bushes.
DANNY I knew you would. I knew you would. I could count on you for that.
SLIM Woowww. I didn’t know that. Danny, anything that we haven’t covered yet that you wanted to make sure that we talked about for this viewing of Temple of Doom?
DANNY No. I mean, we did it. We did it. We did it.
SLIM We made it again. We made it through.
DANNY We talked about everything.
SLIM We’re a united front, Temple of Doom. My closing thoughts on Temple of Doom. So many amazing set pieces that are — having, you know, having said that, there are a lot of things that you know, you can obviously say, this is meant to be set in the serialized era, the 40s and 50s. So some of this stuff isn’t going to hold up, especially the you know, the Asian representation to kick off, the movie doesn’t hold up. The dinner scene doesn’t hold up. They could have done that a lot better. But there’s so much in this movie that like I was kind of watching and I was like, oh shit, this scene is in this movie. Oh my god, another iconic scene, the cart scene. There’s so much in this movie that is still you know, Indiana Jones level of like famous and just everywhere, homage to death. I don’t know where I land on this though. It’s not my favorite Indiana Jones movie, everything outside of those set pieces. You know, I’m kind of like, ho hum, almost. It’s kind of hard to say. So I think I’m hovering on like, four, three and a half stars for this movie. Even with all the like, the set pieces that I love, the stuff like in between all that I’m not in love with. So that’s where I’m at. I’ll see where I land when I when I post my Letterboxd.com review. That’s my truth, but I love Willie. I said that before.
DANNY Bless you.
SLIM I’ll stand up for Willie. Okay?
DANNY Love Willie. Can’t wait for Soph to transcribe that. [Slim & Proto laugh]
SLIM Proto, what are your closing thoughts on Temple of Doom?
PROTO Closing thoughts, it’s a fun ride. You know, I have a fun time, I laugh in this. I think you know I laugh more in this than I did when I watched Raiders. You it’s goofy at times, it’s over the top a lot of the times but yeah the the different sets, the action sequences, Indy, Short Round, you know, Willie. Yeah, I have a ton of fun with this still. I give it four stars.
DANNY Four stars.
SLIM Would Willie — this is a question for the FILM HAGS cast in chat. Would Willie be a hag? Would Willie be considered a hag?
DANNY She is my number one hag. [Danny laughs]
PROTO Yes. Definitely a hag. A lot of big hag energy.
SLIM Its nuclear hag energy from Willie. Absolutely nuclear. I’m not sure if they replied yet in chat. I can’t see, it’s going so fast.
DANNY The hags are here. Boom said yes. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Danny, your closing thoughts for Temple of Doom?
DANNY Closing thoughts. I think on Letterboxd right now I have this sitting at four and a half. And I love this film. It’s so creepy and gross and fun. It’s not my favorite of the three. If you want to call it the trilogy. I always wonder what it would be like to have seen Raiders and then have this come out and see this in the theaters and how I would have reacted then. And I don’t, that doesn’t affect my score. But it is something I’ve always thought about because of how ill received this movie is. And I think it’d be pretty cool to go back and like kind of relive that, especially with Last Crusade coming out and seeing that for the first time. So for me, there’s still four and a half stars. I have a blast watching this film. It has things that needs to be fixed. But it’s hard for me to not just enjoy it. It’s so much fun. And it’s, just, it’s bookend between two great films, so it’s really hard to talk about it because it’s so good.
SLIM I can’t wait to get the Last Crusade. I’m so excited. Like I was kind of DMing both of you back and forth. I won’t reveal my DMs.
DANNY Yeah, no one should do that.
SLIM This is something I said in a DM so I can reveal this. But seeing everyone rate the rest of the movies like go back to back to back to back. I was so jealous. I wanted to just sit and watch all of them, just get the whole thing done. It’s so much fun going through this franchise, you know?
SLIM Marcie’s asking “Slim, is your dad coming on for Last Crusade?” No, I wouldn’t consider him a Indiana Jones expert. But next week is, before we get to our letter. We have a letter in from a hag that I mentioned earlier. The guests we’re having for next week I’m very excited about. Indiana Jones expert, not only Indiana Jones, James Bond expert.
DANNY He knows his stuff.
SLIM We could do a whole series of episodes with this guest and fans of previous podcast that I did in the past called Paperkeg about comic books, we’re bringing on a co-host of that show. One of the, one of my best friends in my entire life. Okay? Love him to death. A hero to me. Jonesy in chat tonight. Long form name Jonesy Loves Beer. He will be our guest next week for Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
DANNY Gosh, I’m so excited.
PROTO Also a Danny Yun fan — expert. [Danny laughs]
DANNY Donnie Yen. You missed both of them. So.
SLIM I think he just changed the vowels in the names. [Danny & Slim & Proto laugh] Holy moly. So that’s next week. Jonesy. I’m excited. This could be the big one. You know, I’m excited to talk to Jonesy about the history of Indiana Jones.
DANNY He knows it.
SLIM Maybe we’ll get into some James Bond talk.
DANNY I hope not.
SLIM You know, the next movies coming out. [Slim laughs] But he is the expert, he’s the historian. So we’ll get into that next week. Let’s get into our letter from this week 70mmpod.com, you can shoot us a letter, leave us a VM. We have one in. Subject line: Hello.
DANNY Oh no.
SLIM “Dear Noodle, Crayon and Wiener. Please forgive me if you’ve covered this already. But since Slim forced the hags to answer this question, I’m now putting it to you. What film do you never want to do on this pod? Is there a movie you’d rather choke to death on a footlong hot dog than talk about on this podcast? Don’t say Wayne’s World, Danny. Anyway, love you lots.” and that comes from Mel.
DANNY Listen, I’ve just never seen it. I would love the cover Wayne’s World. Chuckle huts, all three of us would be.
SLIM What’s a movie that you wouldn’t want to do?
DANNY Off the top of my head, the first one is Hamilton. Honestly, there’s not enough money in the world to want to talk about that with the two of you. [Slim laughs]
SLIM What if all our answer is just Hamilton? Everyone just chooses Hamilton?
DANNY I mean, it would not surprise me.
SLIM I mean, the the emotional fallout of a Hamilton episode would just be —
DANNY It could end us.
SLIM It would be irreparable. Having to talk about Lin Manuel for 30 to 40 minutes.
DANNY First you’d have to watch the two plus hour Hamilton.
SLIM I’d have to just absorb Lin Manuel for potentially three hours. No. Proto, your thoughts?
PROTO My pick, the movie I wouldn’t want to do ever is Harry and the Hendersons. [Slim & Danny laugh] It’s long known that I do not like movies involving sub human or human like creatures. And Harry and the Hendersons is the worst of that.
DANNY You asked for the gifs that are just about the roll in.
SLIM You want to send Proto into a panic attack with these gifs coming in chat?
DANNY No respect. It’s disgusting. Actually makes me sick. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Jonesy just now typing about the mispronunciation. Doobie Yung. [Slim & Danny & Proto laugh] Holy moly. Was that way what you were expecting Mel? Wonder what your guesses would’ve been.
DANNY What did you say? Did you say Hamilton?
SLIM I think Hamilton is probably my pick, you know? It’s not that I don’t want to experience it. It’s just that I don’t —
DANNY Look they’re saying you didn’t answer, you can’t take my answer. So what’s your next pick?
SLIM What are some — I’m trying to —
SLIM I probably wouldn’t want to do any major Marvel MCU movies. I don’t think anyone would want to hear Danny talk about the MCU for more than five minutes.
DANNY Absolute garbage. I can talk now though. I’d be happy to.
SLIM I’m trying to think of like some movies that I really just don’t like. If you want to come up with like some some suggestions, it’s any movie that’s been popular in the last 20 years that I haven’t seen yet. [Danny laughs] There’s one of your potential answers right there. Dark World I haven’t even seen yet.
DANNY It’s because of garbage. Absolute garbage. Every Thor movie sucks.
SLIM I think I suggested The Babadook for the FILM HAGS. That’s a movie I’d love, I almost picked The Babadook for the Contact episode. Donnie Darko? Yeah, I would have zero, next to zero desire to do Donnie Darko. I’m gonna eye roll if one of you picked Donnie Darko.
PROTO Your one stars, you’ve got, how ‘bout returning to James Bond Spectre?
SLIM Oh my god. No way.
DANNY Noted Bond hater himself, Slim.
SLIM What an insulting film that was. Absolutely insulting. That was Sam Mendes.
SLIM You heard him.
PROTO What happened Sam?
SLIM Look at this Photoshop. This is repulsive.
DANNY I’m not even scrolling up.
PROTO Sean, hit the showers! Okay? [Danny & Slim laugh]
DANNY Hit the showers.
SLIM What else do I have as one stars?
PROTO Let’s see… Suicide Squad, New Mutants, Freddy vs. Jason. You have a lot of Friday the 13th in here. Universal Soldier.
DANNY Oh, my.
PROTO Let’s see anything else? Anything shocking. Oh you, wait, you gave a Muppets movie one star.
DANNY Ohhh which one?
PROTO It’s just The Muppets from 2011. Oh is that the Jason Segel movie?
SLIM That’s the Jason Segel, yeah. I was really upset by that movie.
PROTO Wow. Oh. How about you gave Only God Forgives one star.
SLIM Oh my god, that is just a trash movie. Trash movie. That’s the same guy, he did Drive, they followed it up together with another movie. Horrific.
PROTO Both are trash.
SLIM I like Drive.
PROTO Oh sorry. [Slim laughs]
SLIM So next week, Indiana Jones and Last Crusade with Indiana Jones historian and expert Jonesy, former host of the Paperkeg podcast. Current co-host of Interview With the Podcast of Vampire, Tom Cruise retrospective, going through the filmography of the greatest living actor.
DANNY Rep it.
SLIM Last Crusade, Sean Connery, Harrison Ford and the rest. What an episode. We made it through Temple together, stronger. We went through the flaws and we talked about the positives.
SLIM Next week will be Last Crusade. Proto any thoughts before we exit this week?
[70mm theme song fades in]
PROTO Yeah, a little advice. I think we all can take away from this. Do not steal, do not enslave children and do not perform human sacrifice. But you are free to pursue fame and glory and helping others in your community.
SLIM We’ll see everybody next week for Last Crusade.
[70mm theme song ramps up, plays alone, fades out]
SLIM 70mm is a TAPEDECK production featuring original artwork provided by Danny Haas. Spiritual guidance and VGER, the robot who loves movies created by Protolexus. Producer emeritus Dale_a. Prints and other merch are available on 70mmpod.com. This episode was mixed, edited and produced by me, Slim. You can support our Patreon for access to the VHS Village Discord to talk movies with new friends, access to exclusive episodes, discounts on merch, and a physical membership card mailed to you. To check out other TAPEDECK podcasts, find the link in the episode notes. And if you’d like to support our friends at Letterboxd and upgrade to Pro or Patron status, you can do so with a 20% off discount using the links at 70mmpod.com. Goodbye!