Transcript: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

Transcript of 70mm’s Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) Episode.

SLIM Hey, it’s your old pal Slim. And this is 70mm, a podcast for film lovers. Every Monday, I’m joined by famous artists, Danny Haas.

DANNY [Danny wheeze/laughs for 5 seconds]

SLIM And spiritual advisor, Protolexus.

PROTO Um, horse vs. tank. Him just playing chess while these Jeeps and tank are playing checkers. You know, this isn’t a game to him.

SLIM And together as friends forever, we discuss recently watched movies. Not only are we covering Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade later in this episode, but we enlisted my dear friend and Indiana Jones expert and fellow podcaster, Jonesy.

JONESY But the stunt of him like scoopin’ down to get that rock, when his chest meat is just hanging out and rippling!

SLIM Is it possible that Last Crusade remains a five star movie? Or has it aged poorly, like a drank from the wrong chalice? Find out… now.

[70mm theme song ramps up, plays alone, fades out]

SLIM What an episode. My God. We’re talking The Last Crusade. But we have a guest this week. We know you’re here for the Last Crusade. Okay? You can use the chapter feature in your podcast app if you want to skip right to it. I dare you to skip pass this. [Proto laughs] Tonight, our guest is, he’s been called an Indiana Jones historian. Okay?

JONESY By no one.

SLIM James Bond expert, co-host of the award winning Interview With a Podcast a Vampire podcast, retrospective on the filmography of one Tom Cruise.

JONESY I just want to appreciate the village. No crossover on this show. We appreciate it. [Danny laughs]

SLIM And semi-retired from the Paperkeg podcast, podcast about comic books, but more important than all that he’s my friend. Welcome to the show, Jonesy.

JONESY So I first met Slim when he was just Matthew. We were 16 years young. So if you want to, let’s do the math. What is that?

SLIM I can’t do that math!

JONESY 24 years? We’ve known each other?

DANNY Oh my gosh.

SLIM You heard me last week talking about Willie. I can’t do that math. [Danny & Proto laugh]

JONESY Listen, I just want to say to all the naysayers, I also like Willie Scott, you know?

SLIM Thank you!

JONESY Give me the diamond Lao! Or anything goes.

SLIM Thank you.

DANNY Yes.

SLIM Sheesh.

JONESY I will not have my dear oldest friend be slandered by the likes of this village over liking something. Love what you love.

DANNY It was a little bit of a self slandering too.

JONESY He’s always had that deprecating going. [Danny laughs] That’s not new.

SLIM When we have a guest on 70mm, we try to introduce them to our audience, to the Village. And we do that by going through their Letterboxd Top Four. This is the big part where, you know, people can try to get a vibe with a guest. Maybe they’re not interested in guest episodes, but this is how we get them interested. This is our way to vibe.

PROTO You tryin’ to vibe right now?

SLIM So one of the movies on Jonesy’s list, is this episode. Just throwing it out there right now.

JONESY Absolutely. This has been a legacy movie for me. Since I was a boy.

SIM We’re gonna hold, we’re gonna pause on those thoughts for now. Save it when we get to the segment. Let me go to the back of Jonesy’s Top Four. The Fugitive.

PROTO Thank you.

JONESY Oh, yeah.

DANNY Excuse me?

SLIM Are you kidding me?!

JONESY Yeah. 1993 Harrison Ford vehicle The Fugitive. Remake of the television show of the same name. That movie is chicken soup for my soul. [Danny & Proto laugh] Whenever things are bad at the the JLB household, The Fugitive goes on.

DANNY How good is Tommy Lee Jones in that film too?

JONESY He is incredible in that movie. His performance is so good, it spawned a sequel, from a movie based on a TV series I had no sequel!

DANNY Mmm!

SLIM Oh yeah, I forgot about that. What was the sequel —

JONESY U.S. Marshals.

SLIM Ohhhh yeah.

JONESY Starring cinema darling Wesley Snipes.

SLIM Oh my goodness gracious.

JONESY Precursor of Donnie Byog or whatever, whatever, alleged to last week. [Danny laughs]

PROTO This now is being dropped on my head right now. Can’t even believe it. [Slim laughs]

DANNY Danny Yams!

SLIM Next on your list, mamma mia, Last of the Mohicans, Daniel Day Lewis.

[Promontory from the Last of the Mohicans soundtrack fades in]

JONESY Oh man, ah, and I know people will disparages because my favorite performance of his is The Boxer. That might be my favorite Daniel Day Lewis film. But this movie evokes something in me that like gives me human energy. Like just the as soon as he goes and talks to Sachem in the third act and the Promontory track starts playing, and your heart starts beating.

DANNY Primal.

JONESY He shoots the major out of mercy so he doesn’t die burning alive and starts running. Even right now I can see that your faces are changing. [Danny & Slim laugh]

SLIM That, you’re right, rumble in chat says the same thing. Best theme song. I mean, that music is top tier! When they’re running through the Rocky Mountains. And then he says he says that famous line where they have to separate from each other. “You survive.” [Slim in unknown voice] You survive.

PROTO My astral body is… is quivering at that moment. [Slim & Danny laugh]

JONESY The next movie on your list, Proto saw the poster for this movie.

PROTO Unbelievable.

SLIM Highlander.

JONESY Oh yeah. Russell Mulcahy. Showing he will later be blackballed. And come back to direct MTV’s Teen Wolf, but I won’t hold that against him.

SLIM Oh my god.

JONESY But yeah, this was an incredible film. One of my favorite Sean Connery movies. Christopher Lambert. You kiddin’ me?

SLIM Yeah, what’s the — I remember if I’m incorrect, but you said Highlander II was one of the worst movies ever made?

JONESY It might be the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

DANNY Oooff.

PROTO High praise. [Slim laughs]

JONESY Okay.

SLIM Does anyone — does anybody have a movie in their top four where they said the sequel is the worst movie they’ve ever made or they’ve ever seen? [Danny & Proto laugh]

JONESY I’m going to explain to you a real scene from Highlighter II. Okay?

DANNY Okay.

JONESY 90 year old Connor MacLeod, skin sagging, limping down an aisle, wins a sword fight against a guy on a hoverboard. This is real, all real. [Danny laughs] The end of the fight makes him young again. Turns Virginia Madsen onto a 12, has to hump them in an alley. [Danny & Proto laugh] That’s that’s not like 12am I’m having a kill stick fanfic with greasy fingers that are writing it, like somebody wrote that, shot it —

SLIM Jonesy’s head in bobbin’ at such a rate that is like a — he’s about to knock himself out.

JONESY Oh my god.

PROTO When do the heads get cut off?

JONESY Well, that would be a process called The Quickening. [Danny laughs] Whereas immortals slice each other’s heads off to get more powerful.

DANNY Oh gosh!

JONESY Michael Ironside plays a guy named General Katana who gets beheaded by a katana. That’s all things that happened in that movie.

SLIM Anyway, watch Highlander One.

JONESY Yeah and stop there.

SLIM Is what we’re saying. That’s the main thing.

JONESY Hit the brakes.

SLIM Right. So at this point, I think people maybe people have a vibe on Jonesy’s filmography, his film loves. Someone, Kev just linked to the sequel to Big Lebowski. Get it out of here, Kev. Okay?

DANNY Excuse me?

SLIM We’re trying to have fun here. You don’t need to bring that up right now. [Slim & Jonesy laugh]

PROTO Enough, Kev! [Proto laughs]

SLIM Kev, you are on thin ice my friend in chat! So I mentioned Jonesy’s Letterboxd. It’s our favorite social media site where we can go pick apart our top four and judge each other and make fun jokes. But every week we give out a free year of Letterboxd Pro that gets rid of ads on in the app. And you can see where all these movies are streaming so you can have kind of like quick access to watch these movies right away. This week’s winner of a year of Letterboxd Pro, from our own VHS Village, remnant!

DANNY Oh my god!

SLIM Just won a year of Letterboxd Pro, yeah.

PROTO What?! Remnant, my boy.

SLIM The numbers don’t lie. Okay? And if you want to upgrade to Letterboxd Pro or Patron status at any time, get your name in the lights at , you can get 20% off at . So check it out. Proto, let’s talk about some of the movies we watched this week. Proto, did you watch anything?

PROTO The movies that we watched together are… Images! You guys heard of this movie? Our friends over at , Chuck and Dale, they were covering this movie. I gave it four stars. You know, I haven’t watched a movie in a long time. Let’s just say a long time. But when I saw this, Robert Altman, you got to jump on the train. You know?

SLIM Yeah.

PROTO You never know when the Altman train is gonna come by. If it’s coming your way, you’re getting on it. So I watched it had, had a fantastic time, and then listened to the episode and it was golden as always.

SLIM Yeah, Chuck didn’t like it. Chuck on .

DANNY Spoilers.

SLIM He was not please.

PROTO You can tell.

SLIM I mean, the episode came out today. You should have listened by now.

DANNY I didn’t because I was, I really want to watch this film. After Proto’s review and your review.

SLIM You were at the beach for a month. You could have watched this movie on the beach.

DANNY I don’t need this, Matt. [Slim laughs]

JONESY Danny, tell them, in Europe, they just call that holiday and everybody gets to have it.

DANNY Yeah, this is holiday.

PROTO How ‘bout the dummy? The dummy action in that movie? [Slim laughs]

SLIM The dummy work. Listen, I’m on record as saying any movie with extensive dummy usage is an automatic four star. The dummy usage in Images brought it up a half star, big time. Did you watch anything else?

PROTO Oh, I just finished, just finished the Passage to India, the David Lean flick, in our Lean journey for June. And I said in my review, it’s one of the most disturbing visuals I’ve seen in a movie. Alec Guinness cast as an Indian man. [Danny & Slim laugh]

SLIM Is there anything he can’t do? [Danny & Proto laugh]

PROTO Yeah, it’s crazy. This movie came out in 1984. And this is just so strange in my mind to think that it was —

SLIM Kosher?

PROTO No, when did Return — no, Return of the Jedi came out in 1983! So that’s just wild, because I haven’t seen Alec Guinness in anything other than Star Wars before this, these Lean movies. And I got to say, not really impressed. [Danny laughs] With Alec Guinness’ work in these movies.

SLIM Really?

PROTO Yeah, I don’t know if he’s in our last movie for next month.

SLIM You didn’t like him on Bridge on the River Kwai?

PROTO I mean, he was serviceable.

DANNY What does that mean?

SLIM I’m getting — just want to call out my roasting in the Discord right now, with the Anakin meme, for not bringing up the road to Harry Potter exists still on our Patreon. When we get to 200 patrons, we will be going through the entire cinematic Harry Potter experience, just for the patrons. We’re inching ever so close right now. We just got some new friends this week on our Patreon.

JONESY They want eight episodes in a row about Harry Potter? [Slim laughs]

SLIM They’re not gonna be consecutive.

DANNY Apparently they’re not wanting this.

JONESY The dog catching the car? You sure that’s what you want?

SLIM Maybe they don’t want it enough! You know, they don’t want to go back and rewatch.

PROTO Is it eight?

JONESY Yeah they did The Half Blood Prince like four times. [Danny laughs]

SLIM This week, new patrons, Jason from Dune Pod joined us in the VHS Village, Nico and Riley. So thank you for your support, you can do so for four bucks a month, get access to this episode on uncut, get access to exclusive episodes. I think we have nine exclusive episode is just for patrons at . Danny, what did you watch this week?

DANNY Well we went to the theaters this week, Matt.

SLIM What?

DANNY And Casey and I saw In The Heights in the theaters. And it was a, it was perfect. I absolutely loved it, had an amazing time. Just to be in a theater again. Kick back. Watch a movie. Was a beautiful movie too. I couldn’t believe how good it was. And then digging into, we got our 4K’s in and I started watching on the back, you know, the making of’s of Indy and all that kind of stuff. And Spielberg mentions a movie, a part of the like, inspirations for Indy and it was — oh I had it up sorry — the…

SLIM Is Alec Guinness in it? [Danny laughs]

DANNY No. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre with Humphrey Bogart. And it was great. Old black and white film, digging for gold. Getting greedy with his buddies. It was a good one, really good, had a good time. So those are two I watched outside of digging into all these, this glorious 4k set that came out for Indy.

SLIM Did you go back and rewatch any of the recent Indiana Jones movies in 4K?

DANNY Yeah I went back and watched Raiders and then went back and watched Temple as well. And it’s just impressive what they’ve done. And I think the big, like there are scenes where it’s still kind of grainy. But I don’t know if there’s much you can do from an 80s movie but the dark scenes are what really kind of shine, especially in Temple. When they’re in the temple, the cart chase, I mean actually the big wide shots of them traveling to Bangkok on the on the elephants and stuff, they’re they’re gorgeous. There’s you could see much more of the mountains in the distance, the jungle, but it’s really the dark scenes that really kind of shine and all these 4Ks, I think, and the up close shots of their faces and Indy’s chest and all that kind of stuff. So.

SLIM If I can just say —

PROTO Can I quote Danny’s review? Raiders of the Lost Ark quote “This film in 4k is stupid.” [Danny laughs] His words. And then the Temple review. “The Temple in 4k, you kidding me right now?”

DANNY Yeah, that’s all I could say.

PROTO That’s all he could do.

DANNY It’s all I could muster up.

SLIM Should we get some kind of Amazon affiliate link for the official 70mm 4k set? You know? Is there anything we can do? To help people out in some way?

PROTO Paramount!

SLIM You know what else looked amazing in 4K? Willie was absolutely stunning.

DANNY Stunning. You can count the sequins on that dress.

SLIM Sheesh. A lot of buzz in chat that there wasn’t enough In The Heights talk.

DANNY I’m only one that watched it.

SLIM Danny steam rolling it, steam rolling.

PROTO I mean, I was thinking it, but, I was gonna say anything.

DANNY YOu guys haven’t watched it. What do you want me to say?! You’re not gonna watch it though, so, In The Heights is great. Amazing cast. I love the music, I never saw the Broadway show. So this was my first introduction to it. I only know of the lead, I mean, I know Jimmy Smits from Star Wars. What else? NYPD Blue. I can’t remember.

JONESY Dexter.

DANNY Oh that’s right! He was in Dexter. Holy cow.

JONESY Happy to help guys.

DANNY Thank you. Glad you’re here. [Slim laughs] So yeah, In The Heights. But it’s, it’s a beautiful film. There’s not much to talk about when you guys haven’t seen it.

PROTO Let’s move on.

SLIM I talked to somebody this week related to Spotify, which you can subscribe to us and support us on Spotify. There’s a link in the show notes. He had seen In The Heights four times on Broadway.

DANNY Holy cow!

SLIM Do you believe?

DANNY Original cast?

SLIM I have no idea.

DANNY There is a scene that I almost cried. Very close to crying. It’s a beautiful scene with the grandma at the end and she has a solo and she’s amazing. And she’s the one from, she actually played the original grandma on the Broadway show. So her voice was incredible. Beautiful scene.

SLIM I like how your pronunciation of Grandma is like a combination of Meemaw and Grandma. Gram-ma.

DANNY Granmma.

SLIM Appreciate that.

DANNY What’s it supposed to be? Grandma?

JONESY This is the content people come here for. [Danny & Slim laugh]

SLIM I think it’s time to get into —

JONESY What I watched this week?! [Slim & Jonesy laugh]

SLIM Did you watch something this week?! Okay, let’s hear it.

JONESY Oh, God, I had that locked and loaded for so long just waiting for you to get around to it.

SLIM Jonesy, what did watch this week?!

JONESY I didn’t realize it was in my top four, but I watched The Fugitive this week.

DANNY Oh gosh. Look at you.

JONESY I’m gonna invite myself back when you guys finally decide to do 1993’s masterpiece, The Fugitive, starring Tommy Lee Jones and Harrison Ford.

PROTO Whaaat?

DANNY I mean, I was kind of thinking we do the Highlander.

JONESY Oh my god. Start penciling it in, you know?

SLIM Wrongful Imprisonment Month. [Danny laughs]

JONESY I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you a sad story about The Fugitive and why it’s so important to me. So my mother had a heart attack in 1992. And she spent most of the year in and out of Temple hospital. And my father would have to go and stay there a long time, at the time the local hospital didn’t have a cardiac care unit, this is how long ago it was. And one of the things that raised me was his old VHS copy of The Fugitive. And like it’s still like my woobie. Like every time something shitty happens. I like get in bed and turn on The Fugitive.

DANNY My gosh!

JONESY I could probably act it out to you, like every single scene from title to title. But it really is for everything going against it a reboot of a semi popular black and white show from the 60s. To comeback and be a high grossing movie that spawned a sequel. You know, Harrison, thank God did not sign on for number two. The second one had some issues story wise, but it did star a young Robert Downey Jr. If you’re interested in that little tidbit, so.

SLIM Is this the movie with like the one armed man storyline?

JONESY Yeah, “It was the one armed man! I don’t care!”

SLIM I just remember the Simpsons homage to The Fugitive. I don’t remember the actual scene —

JONESY Where he jumps out of the dam? Yeah. So, it’s a great movie.

DANNY Oh my gosh, what a scene.

JONESY If you’re looking for a movie that you don’t, you can kind of switch off, that’s a great movie.

SLIM Yeah, I remember that being kind of like an afternoon movie.

JONESY Yeah, it was always on like PHL 17. And I always picked it up at a time where he’s like getting out of the water and getting tangled up in the branches. [Danny & Proto laugh]

SLIM He was a in a few popular movies around that time frame. Was Air Force One around there?

JONESY Air Force One. Patriot Games.

SLIM Action shots on USA prepping that movie of him just like doing his forward jump away from an explosion.

JONESY In a cardigan with a necktie on. I mean, he had all the great old man outfits.

PROTO Harrison, ugh.

SLIM Regarding Henry, is that in that era?

JONESY Oh, what a great movie! Working Girl?

DANNY Wait, is Regarding Henry —

JONESY He loses his memory and but he’s been having an affair the whole time.

DANNY That wasn’t a great movie.

JONESY And the wife kind of discovers it and forgives him for it. Great movie.

SLIM Just removed that from my watchlist.

PROTO How ‘bout Sabrina? You ever seen that?

DANNY Sabrina! That VHS cover? That VHS is gorgeous.

PROTO Watched that countless times.

SLIM Harrison, way to go, pal. Alright, Jonesy got his movie in. Now we’re safe to get to Indiana Jones and Last Crusade. 1989. The big one. This is the big one. Third movie. Allegedly there’s another movie after this, we’ll find out next week. But some people consider this the end of the trilogy. Normally, you know, Proto, usually, this is the section where Proto gives us the intro, right?

PROTO It is, but with Jonesy coming on, listen, I listened to Jonesy Loves Beer give summaries through all the Paperkeg, right? Week in. Week out. You know, I was, I was at his at his feet, you know, on my knees listening from a young age. [Danny laughs] So having him on the show, I knew that we had to let him do the summary. So he’s gonna, he’s gonna take the wheel this week.

[music from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade fades in]

JONESY Now Proto, you use a different method. Whereas like, it seems like you can compose something. But any good summary is like, fly by the seat of your pants. And this is all going to be the top of my head and a little bit rambling. So please listen closely. We start in Utah. Okay? Alright. We’re Boy Scouts. And we just start sourcing shit. You want to source a whip? We got it. You want to source the scar on his face? You’re gonna get it! You’re gonna source everything great about Indiana Jones. Horse riding. We got it. Okay? Stealing shit? We got it. Alright. But the best part of all is when Dorian gives him the hat. And you realize Dorian is Indiana Jones this whole time. And Indy, that’s when it encapsulates in him. That’s what a archeologist looks like. Of course, Dorian being Dorian Gray and and Spielberg and Lucas’s old fantasies about old adventurers kind of coming to fruition. And then we caught, right? To Coronado, who might not be the ancestor of the guy with the cross, whoops, grave robber. And Indy steals the cross back. And he’s been looking for all his life. Guess what? The adventure’s not over. A Nazi’s got his dad bro! [Proto laughs] And good guy, good guy, Walter Donovan just wants some help. Just wants some help. They meet Alison Doody, stone cold fox, who helps him through Germany. You know, just a young 12 year old boy watches Last Crusade, you know what I mean, you know? And then we follow their adventures as he trips to Europe. And they find the Cup of Christ. [music from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ramps up, plays alone] And Sallah was there too. [Danny laughs]

SLIM Sallah makes an appearance out of nowhere.

JONESY So you gotta just let that happen. You just can’t write anything down. It’s got to come from here. [Slim laughs] I sweat a little bit after.

SLIM Thank you Jonesy. Yeah, take five.

JONESY We’re gonna have to bleep a couple things. [Slim & Jonesy laugh]

SLIM Now, I remember, at a young age in high school, Jonesy and I were a year apart but we carpooled together. Jonesy drove us.

JONESY I did.

SLIM And I remember in Jonesy’s house, having the Indiana Jones tapes. And also the James Bond tapes were like, you know, almost of equal value. But I just remember Jonesy being one of the biggest, if not the biggest, Indiana Jones fan that I had ever known in my entire life. What kicked off the love of Indiana Jones? You remember back then?

JONESY Yeah, so my dad was a was a Bond nut, like absolute Bond nut. In fact, like if there was a gadget, he had to have it. And that all came from his love. You know, he grew up poor in the South. And they would save up all their money to go to the movies on a Saturday, and get second and third row movies. And that’s where he kind of fell in love with Dr. No and From Russia with Love, and then later on Goldfinger. And these are the movies, I would watch with him growing up. And so in 89, when this movie came out, this was like his big movie. James Bond is going to be an Indiana Jones movie. And so and my mother at the same time, her favorite movie was actually Temple of Doom. And I would watch that with her.

DANNY Wowowow.

JONESY And all of a sudden, this was going to be, you know, something that my mom and dad could share. James Bond, isn’t it. You know, Marie, you love this movie. That’s my mother’s name, obviously. And then they come together to go see this movie. I wasn’t allowed to go. Whatever, I’m not bitter about it. You know, 30 years ago. When the VHS at home came, as a family, we watched it together. And you know, as I said, my parents kind of moved up here. They lost this bar Russo’s Tavern, and they came up here bankrupt. And so our way to be entertained was to like rent a VHS very cheap on a Saturday, and kind of spend that time together as a family, is the only day they had all together. So this was on maybe like every other Saturday for an entire summer at my house. And it just become like something like etched in my brain. In fact, I took a big break from it and getting to watch it again this week has been like, has brought me back a touch with these great emotions, great memories I had grown up at my home. And I can’t wait to my kids are a little older so I can scare the shit out of them with moron that Walter Donovan drinking the wrong cup. [Proto laughs] And it’s like, so my dad was into Zoro, James Bond, Indiana Jones like there was no superheroes back then, those were his superheroes. And so that kind of transferred to me, like his admiration for those things, I kind of, I wanted to be just like my dad. So I quickly jumped on that, like to impress him, I started to learn everything about everything. Like I can tell you that Indy had a Smith & Wesson in 1917 in the first movie that a Webley in the next two. Like I can tell you that his bag is an old gas mask bag from the UK and World War Two. I can tell you — but I just grew to know all these things. So I could impress my dad with my knowledge. So I mean, these are big, big franchises for me growing up.

SLIM Did you track down the books too? The kind of like series that Danny was talking about previously, how they’re all different volumes in the run of the Indiana Jones story?

JONESY I have a lot of the paperback novels and I’m in between houses. But I also have the entire Marvel Comics run. The Raiders of the Lost Ark run. I have that in comics. And I just found my copy of the Grail Diary, Danny to show you.

DANNY You got the Grail?!

JONESY I have the Grail Diary.

DANNY Excuse me?

JONESY Somewhere I moved it. So yeah, in Downtown Disney, when it was called Downtown Disney, before they had Jocks. They were opening Jocks and they had these Grail diaries that were basically pre pro made up vinyl novels that mimicked the Grail Diary. But inside it was like different trivia or behind the scenes shots and but you had to have a map of the canyon crescent moon, a fold out. And for the life of me, I can’t find it, but I have it. And that’s one of my greatest pieces of memorabilia.

DANNY Mmm!

SLIM I think Raiders — or not Raiders. I think Indiana Jones Last Crusade is probably my Indiana Jones movie. This was the same in my house, where this was the movie that we watched all the time. And on this rewatch, I was catching things that I didn’t catch as a kid. Like Indiana Jones, Indiana flirting with the Austrian Nazi as soon as they meet. And when they’re like walking through Venice and he’s just pouring on his charm. Like right away.

DANNY Definitely.

SLIM That was just something that like I didn’t even catch when I was a kid that he just like, instinctively started flirting with her like right away the first meeting they had. But Danny, do you remember your first viewing of this movie?

DANNY You know, I don’t. I don’t think I remember my first viewing. I know we watched it, I don’t know if we watched it a lot. It’s really funny because my actual kind of like, early memories of this goes back to growing up Southern Baptist. So in, for those who don’t know how kind of the Southern Baptist works, the preachers kind of have, they like to use props. And so, so they’ll have a whole sermon. And at at one point a sermon, there’s like sometimes there’s a prop or something to push his narrative. But I saw, they would show the leap of faith scene like so many times in church, I felt like. Because I feel like my earliest memories of this film are when they use that scene to talk about taking a leap of faith. And it’s really funny, I could still remember it up behind the choir being shown at church.

PROTO That’s the funniest scene. [Proto laughs]

DANNY And I was like, this is Indiana Jones in church.

JONESY What does he say when they pan to show the man made bridge? [Danny & Jonesy laugh]

DANNY It cuts real quick. Everyone’s silent! That sound guy in the back has to be quick to push the pause. But that’s kind of like my earlier memories of Last Crusade for sure.

PROTO Oh, man, I think this was the first movie where I probably saw the the technique of having a flashback to when main character was young. I can just remember seeing that for the first time and like my mind being blown, as like a kid. [Danny laughs] Like what?! This is him as a kid doing this?! Like, I just like, the adventure spirit in this movie, like blew my mind as a kid. Just everything that Indy goes through. It’s just like, it’s insane. And I just remember watching that, you know, that, you know, under 10 years old seeing this for the first time, and my life was forever changed. My first note is him running down the hill out of the cave, with just the John Williams music. And like there’s the, there’s high steps that he is doing down that — for some reason that like image is like printed onto my brain. Like when I saw that was like, yep, I know that exact frame. I can like recall this scene, you know, this scene from this movie for whatever reason. But there’s so many moments like that in this movie where I think of this movie and it’s so vivid, in my imagination for as long as I can remember.

SLIM Jonesy, what’s on your list or things that you took note of on this recent watch for Crusade?

JONESY I actually had to throw out part of my list. I kept my notes on this little memo pad. But I found myself writing down like every single scene.

DANNY I know.

JONESY And so I was like, oh God. So like I was like, do I go all negative and like just you know, be that guy? So one of the notes is like, I without knowing it, probably quote this movie 10 times a week. And I’ll say things that aren’t even like popular quotes. I’ll say things like, “that’s the cup of a carpenter.” [Danny laughs] And people are like “what?” And I’m like ohhh sorry. [Danny & Proto laugh]

SLIM You probably say that to yourself in the kitchen to just rolling around.

JONESY I do it all the time! Or I saw Matt’s Instagram feed of — oh sorry, Slim’s, you can edit that post — Slim’s Instagram feed where he’s watching the scene. And I immediately type “I was the next man.” [Slim laughs] I say that all the time.

SLIM Yeah! You replied to my story just that line. There’s no other like context. It’s just the line and nothing else.

JONESY But I have like a couple things that stood out to me that will like kind of as I got older, I felt differently about one is the single horsepower trucks that can’t catch up to Indy’s horse that allow him to get on the train. [Danny laughs] And I’m not, I don’t really point out in anachronisms, but, you know, what is the point of Kazim? Do we need Kazim for this movie to happen?

SLIM That’s true. Why did he give away the location?

JONESY Hey, I’m not looking for the Grail, good enough for me! [Slim laughs] I mean, you just you just killed nine of our guys, but since you said that, no problem! [Danny laughs] I thought the the graphics of the the train fight at the end and were so dated. Especially, what’s the name of the colonel? The Nazi Colonel that like flies off top of the hill? Reminded me of the guy’s face, the judges face in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, where he goes like this and he starts popping off. [Slim & Danny laugh]

SLIM Does any falling down a cliff shot like before the year 2000 look good at all? I feel like it all looks bad.

DANNY For sure.

JONESY And also the green screen of him yelling at the Zeplin is like, that is definitely luggage like it all backlot the, you know, Paramount Studios, and then a vinyl sheet. But I will say there is nothing more perfect than not finding out about the three challenges. Like you have a whole movie that you could be setting up these three challenges. You find out in about 90 seconds and you’re totally okay with it. Like the petitive man, the path of God, the leap for the Lions Head, is still, like I still sat upright and paid attention to that entire sequence, a sequence, excuse me, and then them riding out in the valley with the four horses and like them name checking Spielberg’s dog and then Marcus is like, did you catch in the sunset, where Indy has to actually ride over and put Marcus back on the saddle?

DANNY Get Marcus back up, it’s so funny.

JONESY Just the theme blasting. I mean, there’s something that is a still, as as hackneyed it, that ending is, I don’t think there’s anything more perfect that you could end the trilogy on that moment. And, you know, there’s 1000 more notes I could take you through. But those are just ones that as I get older kinda made me feel better. When he tells uh, you know, I probably watched this movie last time before I was a father. Now watching it with two kids. And when he says “Dad, I can reach it.”

[clip of Indiana Jone and the Last Crusade plays]

INDY I can almost reach it, Dad.

HENRY Indiana. Indiana. Let is go…

[clip of Indiana Jone and the Last Crusade ends]

JONESY And he says “Indiana, let it go.”

SLIM All time scene.

JONESY And all their bullshit is healed, their entire lives. [Slim laughs] So that’s the real healing power of the grail, right? Bringing estranged father and son back together. And he pulls him up. And then and the guards like “you chose wisely” when he leaves, like your dad is the real choice.

SLIM Why isn’t the Baptist Church reenacting that scene? You know?

JONESY Why weren’t they worried about French Knights from the Crusades that spoke perfect modern English? [Slim laughs]

DANNY Ask the questions.

SLIM The one quick thing I want to mention is on my viewing when Indiana is on the tank, and he like gets the upper hand again and John Williams theme kicks in. Is this not the greatest piece of music in the history of movies? Honestly to god! Like I just thought like, this is the piece of music. There’s nothing better in like a hero movie, I think. It’s just so perfect! Proto, what’s on your list?

PROTO I was gonna say to that. Yeah, can anyone name one? [Slim laughs]

SLIM They can’t! I dare you!

PROTO No one can. Um, I love how this movie is like back to formula with Raiders but just improve it. I feel like it improves on it. Just watching Raiders, I think when I did a rewatch, I think I only watched the first two and I didn’t get to do Crusade. So Raiders was like fresh in my mind. And seeing that I was like, that’s five stars. And it was like so long since I’ve seen this. I was like, is this is this, you know, as good as Raiders, like I couldn’t remember. Like, I feel like I remember loving this one the most as like a kid and watching this. It’s, it’s like clearly, to me, this is my favorite of these movies. Like it’s so good, where it just it’s the same, like layout of the story, but it just improves upon it in so many ways. And like adding Indy’s dad, like that whole dynamic is. So when you look at it on paper, it seems kind of crazy that you would introduce the like the the old father of the hero. But it works so well in this movie. It’s so good!

JONESY How about the scene where he goes into, the whole scene where he meets his dad again. And he’s like “I thought you were one of them” he’s like “they usually come in through the door.” [Danny laughs] And then but at the end of that sequence when he just takes the machine gun and kills all three of them cold blood? His dad’s like, “what did you — I can’t believe what you did!” And he’s just like, “We got to go.” He’s like”You just killed three people, you murdered three people. That’s my kid that I haven’t seen 20 years.”

SLIM Also that scene where he breaks the vase over him and how they do that like funny bit where he’s like, “I never would have forgiven myself.”

JONESY Thank god.

SLIM Harrison’s acting in that background, where he’s like, feels so happy that his dad cared that — oh my god! It’s an all time scene.

DANNY The great thing about for me that scene is it sets up their relationship perfectly in like 20 seconds. Like you know exactly how they’re going to be the two of them for the rest of the film. And Connery, his like comedic chops in this, I mean, he makes me laugh the most in this entire film. I think he’s insanely funny and the chemistry between the two of them. On paper, it looks like there’s no reason it should work. Right? I mean, Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, it just doesn’t feel like this could actually work. But they are incredible together in this film.

JONESY Yeah, their chemistry is unreal.

DANNY Especially, I mean, all my all time favorite scene in this film is them tied back to back. The two of them together. It’s so funny when he’s hearing Elsa talk to him. And then she starts kissing him. I mean, they’re just the expressions on Connery’s face get me every time. And when he’s yelling for him and he’s looking the wrong way. It’s so silly and stupid, but it’s funny, like it’s funny in the place is burning down around them.

[clip of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade plays]

INDY Dad!

HENRY What?!

INDY DAD!

HENRY WHAT!

INDY Head for the fireplace!

[clip of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ends]

DANNY And the fireplace spins and the Nazis and it’s just, I mean, it’s, it’s my favorite scene of the film. I I love the intro to this film. I know we talked about River Phoenix and that scene. But I really I love how fast they go through like showing all of Harrison’s — or all of Indy’s kind of things. Like he gets on the train and you see him get his fear of snakes when he falls into the pit and then you see him fall into the lion’s, the car and he learns to whip but then he hits himself in the face and he gives himself the classic Harrison scar which he got from like a car wreck in his 20s or something. And it really bums me out that we don’t get more like a Sean Patrick Flanery is great as young Indy but if we would had a run of River Phoenix as young Indy, it would have been next level like absolutely next level. And Jonesy, I was reading, I don’t know if you know this, I was reading some stuff about whatever his name is, fedora, the guy that —

JONESY Dorian?

DANNY Dorian. Yeah, Originally, it was pin that he was going to play, he was going to be Abner.

JONESY Ohhh that would’ve made so much more sense!

DANNY Yeah, he runs into Abner in the thing, which would have been super rad. I don’t know why they took that out.

JONESY Yeah, why not put that in? That would have made perfect sense.

DANNY I know. I just I love that intro scene. It’s so good.

JONESY As much as I love it being Dorian Gray, I love it even more as Abner Riverwood.

DANNY Yeah, right? That would have been killer. And I had read, I watched a lot of the making of and the actual choice for River, Harrison made that choice. He had been in a movie with River.

JONESY Witness?

DANNY Mosquito Coast?

JONESY Oh, Mosquito Coast, yeah.

DANNY And River was talking about how he had watched Harrison for so long. And he felt like he could really do his mannerisms well as Indy and stuff so and Harrison’s like spoke the word of them, so that’s why they cast him as young Indy which is super rad.

JONESY A tremendous job.

SLIM Marcie, our resident historian for all movies dropped that nugget in chat earlier. [Slim laughs] Sean just dropped a horrific photoshop in chat. The other thing I was going to mention was when the one kid I think asks what young Indiana Jones his plan is, he says I’ll think of something which I think comes back to in a nice way how Proto was bringing up about how like he never really has a good plan in any of these like movies so far. I thought that was a pretty cool call back.

JONESY He definitely wings it for every two hours of every movie he ever does. Just to touch on, how great is the callback to the Ark in this in the catacombs?

DANNY Oh the drawing?

JONESY “This is the Ark of the Covenant.” “Are you sure?” “Pretty sure.”

DANNY Such a good nod.

SLIM So good.

PROTO The catacombs, they blow my mind, like it blew my mind as a kid the same way just the opening does. I mean him grabbing a bone and making a torch is so metal.

SLIM How does the stuff not catch fire down there? You’re using a torch above the petrol, right? What was it down there? How come it didn’t catch fire?

PROTO The fumes?

SLIM How come nothing caught fire while he was using that torch. Right?

JONESY Well, you see Slim, you can actually put a lit cigarette and petroleum and it won’t light. Has to do with striking the vapors.

SLIM So then how did they light it at the end? I thought he dropped a match in there?

JONESY Yeah, that’s what they call movie magic. [Slim & Danny laugh]

SLIM Let me defend that scene while simultaneously tearing apart the scene that happens a minute later.

JONESY They don’t call me two face for nothing.

SLIM The the other the other note that I had was the library scene is so etched into my brain, burned into my brain, to steal from the podcast. When they’re finding the X. And he’s like, you know, cracking through the top of it. I love that stuff. I think that’s what really connected me with like National Treasure to be honest. National Treasure has a lot of that same fun and investigative like historical mainstream searches that I feel like people enjoy so much. And that’s why it was so successful.

JONESY I just thought of another quote I do all the time, is I’ll shout out “Alexandretta!” [Slim & Danny & Proto laugh] Nobody knows what the hell I’m talking about.

DANNY The bit of him slamming the tile with the guy stamping the book still makes me laugh. Like it’s so funny and stupid. But it still gets me every time. His reaction to the stamp.

SLIM Proto, what else do you have on your list?

PROTO Next on mine, motorcycles are extremely cool.

DANNY Oh gosh.

PROTO These motorcycles that yeah, that they escape on and then those Nazis. I mean, they’re Nazis but has a Nazi ever looks so good as one of those riding the motorcycles? [Danny & Slim laugh]

JONESY That’s his intro, Slim. Just letting you know. “Has Nazis ever looked so good?”

SLIM I’m self-editing that out of the intro. I would not do that as the intro. [Slim laughs]

PROTO But those motorcycles are just so cool, that whole chase sequence. I mean, I know that’s jumping ahead, but there’s so many moments like that in this movie where, I don’t know just like everything, like the sets. You just keep. I just keep going back to that, like all the different props in this. It just looks so good! Just love it all.

JONESY I mean, think about the ship at the beginning of the movie. That’s a big soundstage. They built for like, four minutes of screen time.

SLIM Yeah, I was gonna say every stunt in this movie felt like it could be a stunt show. And like the entire movie feels like I could be sitting by the sidelines watching stunt men do this and enjoying it and getting in line for it.

DANNY On that boat, he climbs the boxes just to zip line to jump off the boat. Like he couldn’t just jump over the edge. [Proto laughs]

PROTO Yes!

DANNY He had to zip line off. And it’s like yes, why not? Let’s do this.

JONESY Of course the boat explodes. I’ll tell you a funny story real quick about the stunt show in Orlando.

DANNY Oh, thank you.

JONESY So we went, that’s my favorite attraction ever. I go every time I go down. This past year, we went with both kids, they were of age. And at the end, whoever’s playing Indy will do photos with the kids. But of course, I want my photo with Indiana Jones. [Danny laughs] So I go down, and the kids get the pictures with Indy. And like, I’m like, just about to get my shot just with Indy and the girl playing Marion runs over and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’ll get in it too!” And I’m like trying to like edge the other way. [Danny laughs] Because I don’t want to picture with this blond haired Marion who I give — so there’s a picture of me and it’s in my Google Photos, I’ll have to find it, where it’s like me, Indiana Jones, and Marion, and my face is like this. [Danny & Slim laugh] I am not happy about Marion in this photo. But if I find it, I’ll post it in chat.

DANNY The other scene that makes me laugh. I mean, I think this movie has amazing bits. I love the zeplin scene when he takes the tickets. And he just knocks it, just says “no ticket”. And everyone kind of raises their hand. I mean that, leading into the plane scene and then getting down to the beach with the birds. I love it. Like that bird scene is so —

JONESY “Sorry son, they got us.”

DANNY And the look. Oh my gosh, when he shoots the rudder. Ohhh my gosh! Connery is amazing. So when they land and they do the bird thing, the look that Indy gives him at the end was like, oh, wow, my dad is actually kind of a badass. And like, where was this my whole life growing up? So yeah, those are some amazing scenes. This really is the funniest of the three movies like I find myself laughing a lot at this and they’re not like at the expense of bad storytelling. It’s at the like, it just shows how good the writing is and the performances for sure. Because this film feels like it has the highest stakes for Indy and his dad, especially when they get to the end. Like his dad’s shot, like this is a real situation where Indy has to get to the Cup of Christ and get it back to him to save his life.

JONESY How great are the effects when he pours it on his stomach? And it washes the wound away.

DANNY It blew my mind.

JONESY Yeah, that still holds up for me.

DANNY Still looks so good.

SLIM To this day, nobody knows how they did that. [Danny laughs]

JONESY Probably salt and salsa.

DANNY Don’t reveal it. Don’t reveal it.

JONESY Pull back the curtain.

SLIM This was the first one that I watched ahead of the show in 4K. And I could feel when Indy was first kind of poring over the the three quarters of the tablet. When he first sees the shield or whatever. I feel like I could see makeup on Harrison Ford face is that shot.

DANNY Yes, yes! I thought the same thing! Right on his cheek!

SLIM Yes! It’s like obviously make up.

DANNY They’re so close to his head, it’s like yeah, there’s cover up there. Yeah, no joke. How about the fact that they bred all of those rats for this film?

JONESY Did they really?!

PROTO Excuse me?

SLIM Excuse me?

DANNY They bred all of those rats because of how close they were going to have them on top of the actors that they couldn’t risk infection. And so all of those rats were bred for this film.

JONESY Get outta here!

DANNY And then when they lit the catacombs on fire, those are animatronic rats they light on fire that has like swimming in the water feet running, which is amazing. [Slim laughs]

JONESY Some kid has an animatronic rat that their pop pop, took home from the set that their way to get through college.

DANNY You got to pull up the making of, Matt, because there’s bins and bins, there’s pop the top off and there’s just full of rats. It’s unreal.

SLIM The Grail challenges themselves, once they kind of go through that process. Man it’s been ages since I watched this. I loved seeing this again. The leap of faith stuff, just kind of getting lost in the actual moment in the movie is so cool. Just him actually having to have a leap of faith.

[clip of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade plays]

HENRY You must believe, boy. You must… believe…

[clip of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ends]

SLIM And the effects of that not appearing. I thought that was so cool when I was a kid, just that bridge, not showing until the camera moved. Jonesy, what did you think?

JONESY I still get chills watching one of the soldiers go up with a sword drawn and like that light comes on behind the cobwebs. And the you know, he’s like he’s praying to himself and you know, Henry’s “pentinant man, pentinant man, pentinant man, pentinant man” Like it still gets me.

PROTO KNEEL!

JONESY Yeah, and then for whatever reason he decides to roll and thank God he does because that second buzzsaw is waiting in the wing.

DANNY How’s that gonna cut you, like up? Like, how is that cutting you? That’s terrifying.

JONESY Betwixted.

DANNY Oh my gosh! That’s a good one.

JONESY The Villagers can’t see it but I’m doing3

SLIM It’s disturbing, Jonesy on camera right now.

PROTO So that’s what you would have to do if you were before God, is not only kneel but roll.

JONESY Roll into him. [Slim laughs]

PROTO Roll into it.

JONESY Not many people notice but the Hebrews were big in the Judo training at an early age. So kneeling and rolling was was key in your your Sabbath.

SLIM This was also the first time that I noticed that she picked the wrong Grail on purpose.

PROTO Yeah, yeah.

SLIM When I was a kid, I just thought she was also you know, just kind of a moron and was like just taking the selfish route finding the most attractive Grail, that was lost on me until this viewing and also —

JONESY How about the look that Indy and the knight give each other though? You’re like ohhh, this guy. Alright.

SLIM The one odd thing I took a note of was, I actually didn’t think that chalice looked so elaborate. I feel like the Catholic Church today has more elaborate chalices than the one that this guy thought Christ used. So that was kind of like an odd note that I made.

DANNY I think if he knew what was going to happen to him, he would have taken a little bit more time picking the chalice, but he took like 30 seconds over that table. [Slim laughs] Like you thought it was gonna have a buffet of trying out these cups.

JONESY Till we get to the right one.

SLIM Proto, what else you got?

PROTO Um, horse first vs tank. You know, what a scene. Harrison on a horse. Indiana on horse. It’s something you don’t know you need until you see it.

JONESY Most attractive combination of mammals we have yet. [Danny laughs]

PROTO Him just playing chess while these Jeeps and tanks are playing checkers. This isn’t a game to him. This is not a game. Okay? Indy has a horse. You better watch out, doesn’t matter what kind of artillery you have. And he shows them. [Slim laughs] I mean, he takes everybody out once again. How many times does he have to do it?

SLIM I mean one horse versus a battalion. And the horse wins.

DANNY King.

SLIM Unreal.

DANNY When he sticks that rock in the muzzle.

JONESY But the stunt of him like scooping and down to get that rock?

DANNY Oh my gosh, it’s so good!

JONESY When his chest me is just hanging out and rippling as the horse goes he just scoops it with those gnarled old fingers, I mean, god, am I getting the flopsweat or is that this the Tullamore Dew whiskey? Starting to have it’s effect. [Slim & Danny laugh]

SLIM Danny, more on your list?

DANNY More on my list? Man, we’re going through it. Yeah, the tank scene’s amazing. But I love when they run in the get to the Nazi book burning. I love that scene when Hitler signs the Grail. It’s just like, it’s ridiculous. And it’s so good and I love that he was willing to kill Elsa over it. Like give me my dad’s book back, you know?

JONESY “All I have to do is squeeze”

DANNY “All you have to do is scream”

JONESY Oh god, can that be our combined intro? [Slim & Danny laugh]

DANNY Oh man, I love when Hitler signing the book, is just, chef kiss.

SLIM That also feels like a scene that could just like really fail too, but it just worked so well in this movie and it’s funny. You know, you have a funny Hitler scene for God’s sake. Very risky but it paid off.

JONESY Take that Taika Waititi! [Danny laughs]

SLIM Jonesy, anything else that we didn’t cover yet that you wanted to make sure we brought up?

JONESY Oh god, no. I mean, this has been a dream because this has been one of my favorite movies of all time for so long. And you know, as I get older, everyone else stays the same age so no one wants to talk about this movie. So it’s nice to come onto a show and just be able to talk S about it for an hour, feels really great.

DANNY There is one more thing I have my notes that I found super interesting was the scene where Indy goes to the castle, you know, to the tapestress. And he goes to look at them all. That was supposed to be in the beginning of the film. And it was written as a haunted castle that indie was going to open the film.

JONESY Stop it!

DANNY And Spielberg says no, because he just got done doing Poltergeist, and he didn’t want to do another haunted movie.

JONESY Thank God for that note.

DANNY But that was castle meant to be a haunted mansion story with Indy in it. Oh my God, can you imagine a haunted house story with Indiana Jones? I mean, could have been amazing.

SLIM Let’s see closing thoughts, Proto on this movie and maybe potentially your rating?

PROTO What a ride. Yeah, we covered everything in my notes. Yeah, the only thing the Berlin scene I just wanted to say I totally forgot about that entire scene until it was there. It was like seeing it for the first time. But man, what, what a ride. I love this movie. Seeing it, it solidified it as my favorite of the trilogy. Once again. We have a winner ladies and gentlemen. I love this movie. Five stars.

DANNY Yeah, baby.

SLIM Soph in chat: “Chest holds up.”

DANNY Chest holds up. Yeah, for me —

JONESY That chest can hold me up, Soph, you know what I’m saying? You know what I’m saying beb?

DANNY This was definitely my favorite of the three as well. I love, I adored this film. It’s got everything that you kind of want from Indy. As much as I love Raiders, this one kind of just amps up the stakes. And so yeah, this is still a five star for me. It’s my favorite of the trilogy as well.

SLIM Sheeeesh. Yeah, yeah, I think my review on Letterboxd was ‘whatapicture.png’. [Danny laughs] I mean, this is the real deal. Okay? Five stars for me. Jonesy?

JONESY You know, this movie is more than a movie. I think for me personally. This movie is a place where I can go and have fond memories of my childhood. And it’s a, it’s a touchstone to to, you know, a life that’s passed me by and it makes me feel so very good inside. But I do want to say, not that any other host gets closing thoughts, but I get closing thoughts. You know, I love the Villagers and what you guys have done over the past year with the show. And I’m very, very happy and very grateful to be invited on and I appreciate your time very much. And to everybody in the live chat, thank you for listening along with us, and we appreciate it. You know, Marcie, trying very hard to become my new favorite member of the Villagers with this chat. [Slim & Danny laugh] And Marcie, I can be bribed with social media likes so please, you know, let me know those likes in advance. But no, thank you very much in a very, very, very grateful to be on the show.

SLIM Pleasure to have you Jonesy. Anytime. Let’s see. Golly. Where do we go from here? Do we go into some letters? We have some letters, we have some voicemails. Gosh, we have so much to get to. The one thing I really wanted to make sure we touched on before we get to the VMs and letters. How about the big investigation into that Star Wars font in the Discord this week?

DANNY The most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

SLIM Do you remember when jwhale — this week, if you’re not in our Patreon and our Discord.

PROTO Whaaat?

SLIM I think Proto slept through this. ut there was a book that jwhale in our Discord found. It was called STAR KA’AT, a book that came out in allegedly 1976 and it had the Star Wars font in it, on the cover. And we were like, wait a minute, when did this book come out? Did this come out before Star Wars introduced this logo? And there was like a full day long investigation. We were looking at Congress codes, copyright information, try to get to the bottom of it and it was just a lot of fun. You know it wasn’t a lot of fun for some Star Wars fans in chat though.

DANNY Well it’s because we weren’t idiots.

PROTO They were on edge.

SLIM A lot of people were like worried that we —

DANNY No one was worried.

PROTO Is this the end?

DANNY Show the worry.

SLIM Exactly. It was like The Da Vinci Code, we would crack open an entire religion.

DANNY But what did you guys find?

PROTO Star Wars is House of Cards. You take one from the bottom wrong, you take the logo, that’s a bottom wrong card.

DANNY No one found anything.

SLIM Alleged. I mean, this is when you find, when it turns out there’s something so large, there’s going to be people that don’t want this information to be found.

PROTO I will not stop, Danny. If you think I’m going to stop now, when we’re so close. [Danny & Slim laugh]

DANNY I want to see you cross that line, Proto.

SLIM This is a kind of high jinks we get into in the Discord, I’m very grateful for it. You can leave us a voicemail, there are links and that you can use. Let’s get into our first letter, right now. Ismael emails in: “Dear Noodle, Crayon, and Wiener. First off, I’d like to say that you guys are knocking out of the park with all the episodes. Indiana Junes, great way for me to revisit some of my dad’s favorite dad movies. Now I don’t have a comment about this week’s movie need to rewatch it haha, please don’t hurt me. But there was loads of discussion in the Discord about last week’s biggest release to theatres and the pods de facto sponsor HBO Max In The Heights. I won’t get into the discussion surrounding the representation, that was already covered in the Discord. And anyone that would like to hear more, please subscribe to the Discord. My question is, what would you do with $96,000 if you were to get that today, right now, cold hard cash? Just as the song in the film fleshed out characters and their aspirations if money weren’t the issue, I’d like to hear what y’all would do. Love the podcast, everybody that’s listening right now that’s not subscribed, what are you even doing? Get discounts on merch at the store made by famous artists Danny Haas, makes more financial sense to buy yourself the Nacho Libre hat and poster being a member than it is to get it alone. Yes, I know that from experience, but it’s totally worth it. Gracias. Ismael. PS. Mexican Movie Month when? September has Mexican Independence Day. Just saying.” Thank you Ismael.

DANNY Wow.

SLIM Proto, what would you do with 96k?

PROTO 96k. I’d make a movie. Right?

DANNY Ohh!

SLIM My god.

PROTO What else you’re gonna do with 96k? This is an investment. Right? Put it, put it back into yourself. You know?

DANNY Excuse me? [Danny laughs]

PROTO Tell your wife and your family. I’m going to invest in myself. You know? Getting a movie out to the masses. That’s what I would do with 96k.

DANNY Wowowow.

SLIM Jonesy, what about you?

JONESY 1968 Dodge Charger for 46 pack with Mickey’s slicks on the back. And probably the rest of the cash would just be for the insurance money I would need to pay to have that car.

DANNY There’s no rest of the cash. You’ve maxed it out.

JONESY You know, I’ll do that that great Mopar five speed automatic transmission that they made back then. And I wouldn’t even just speed, I would just idle around town with the windows down.

SLIM Six miles to the gallon.

JONESY God maybe maybe less! [Slim laughs]

SLIM Danny?

DANNY Gosh, you know, I’m not gonna be responsible with this answer. So I was going to pick a car as well. But Jonesy went there.

JONESY I know your car. 1968 Ford Mustang GT 390 toploader in Highland green.

DANNY Excuse me?

JONESY Am I right or wrong?

DANNY You do. You’re right. That is my favorite Mustang for sure. I would definitely bought a DeLorean. But to be different, I would probably travel to other Disney parks. That’s been a dream of mine for sure. Especially Tokyo.

SLIM Yeah, you always said you wanted to see Avengers Campus. Number one on your list.

DANNY Avengers Campus, I would love to be the number one fan of Marvel movies to finally visit Avengers Campus. So yeah, that’s me.

JONESY Show me the doll where Kevin Feige hurt you. [Slim laughs]

DANNY Oh my hoagie. [Jonesy laughs]

SLIM What would I use with that money?

DANNY Yeah Matt, let’s hear it.

SLIM Oh, gosh. You know, I could probably do some basement work, get this house finished up. We could probably use the rest of that money for some kind of elaborate VHS Village meetup. Fly everybody out.

JONESY People’s champ.

DANNY There it is. The people’s champ.

SLIM For like a four day weekend getaway.

DANNY Look at you.

SLIM Mamma mia. Can you imagine? Imagine it!

DANNY I’m imagining it.

PROTO I’m trying.

SLIM Sheesh.

JONESY You should do like, if you really want to meet up the right way doing those things where you rent out a drive-in. You know what I mean? Just have that for like maybe like a like a doubleheader, double play, two movies. You know, your guys pick, Villagers pick. You could do, you know, you do grots, you know, tailgating, know what I’m saying? You can get it cooked if you want.

DANNY This is why Slim’s the poddaddy.

SLIM I will end this show.

DANNY This is why he’s our poddaddy.

SLIM I will end everything right now. Mel, thin ice.

DANNY [Danny in seductive voice] Poddaddy.

SLIM Tomas emails in. “Gentlemen. Love the Last Crusade, who doesn’t? I’m sure you went into good depth about how good it is. So I won’t here. Did have a question for the three of you though, in the Last Crusade, we saw the return of Sallah and Brody. And it had me wondering what previous Indy characters from any of the four movies would you want to see come back for the fifth one? Obvious choice for me is an adult Short Round. Would he be called Tall Round if he’s an adult now? Idk. Anyways, would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks.”

DANNY He would not be called Tall Round. But Short Round is exactly who I’d pick as well. I would love a Short Round adventure for sure. Also Short Round was named after a dog as well.

SLIM Was he?

DANNY Just like Willie. Willie was named after Spielberg’s dog. Indiana was Lucas’s dog and Short Round was named after the people who wrote or helped write Temple. Three dogs.

PROTO I mean Short Round is the right answer. I mean, to choose something different, maybe the guy that the the buff Nazi in Raiders who we think, we think, gets chopped up by the by the airplane propeller, but he doesn’t, he doesn’t die. He’s turned into a cyborg in a secret Nazi laboratory. He survives into the future, biding his time to strike back at Indiana Jones in Indiana Jones five.

SLIM Wooww. I would also love Short Round. I’m curious what the plot is even going to be for the new Indiana Jones movie. Jonesy, do you have thoughts on what the heck to expect in the new one?

JONESY I have no idea. I honestly have no clue what they’re coming up with. I hope they don’t do aliens again.

SLIM They’re doing Nazis again, allegedly have seen Nazi uniforms on set.

JONESY Well listen, you go back to the well when you’re making Indy five. You know what I mean? Is there anything in Christian mythology that would round it out? Would it be like the Shroud of Turin, like what would be the thing to go get?

SLIM Jesus himself. [Danny laughs]

JONESY Probably just hanging out.

DANNY Indiana Jones and the Return of Christ. [Slim laughs]

SLIM Oh my god! That would be unreal! [Danny & Proto & Slim laugh]

PROTO Oh my god.

SLIM We got that movie made. Jonesy, who would you want to see come back?

JONESY I think the obvious answer would be Jacques. We only got him for two minutes on a plane in Raiders. What’s his story? The wing man. You know what I mean? Maybe Jacques is his base of operations. You know what I’m saying? But come on. Doesn’t anyone love Karen Black? Why isn’t Marion back in the third movie? I always wondered that. Like, wouldn’t be a great her versus Alison Doody.

DANNY Oh she would’ve kicked her ass.

JONESY Yeah, right. Like in the temple like she’s like Indy, yours or mine. Karen Black, just like belts her one. I mean, I always thought that would have been great choice.

DANNY Karen Allen?

JONESY Was I saying Karen Black? Two Karen’s, who cares, but you know, just wanted to flag, Marion is such a great character. And it’s such a shame the way they kind of wasted her in Crystal Skull.

DANNY We’ll get into it next week.

SLIM Groogrux wants to know how the Nazis are back.

JONESY It’s 2021, I have no idea how the Nazis are back now!

DANNY They never left us.

SLIM I think I said in Discord. Maybe there’s a Nazi exegol. You know, just hiding out.

JONESY Why Slim?

SLIM Waiting for the perfect moment.

JONESY Why?

DANNY Did you just say exegol?

SLIM Exegol.

PROTO That’s a great tagline. They never left.

JONESY Somehow the Nazis have returned!

SLIM Alright. Great letter Tomas. Let’s see, we have some VMs to get to. I’m gonna have two Kevs leaving voicemails.

DANNY Oh, gosh.

SLIM I don’t know how that works out. It’s very rare.

PROTO Count him.

SLIM Let’s get to it right now.

[voicemail plays]

VOICEMAIL Hey 70mm, it’s Kev. Finally calling in. This is take 1000 maybe of this voicemail. So let’s see how this goes.

JONESY You got this Kev.

VOICEMAIL Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. What a perfect movie. I’m going to cherish it for the rest of my life. And thank you guys for doing Indiana Junes because I would have been searching for the right time to watch this movie for just as long as I’ll spend loving it now. So thanks. Quick question for you. Father’s Day is coming up as I do this voicemail, and I was wondering what great memories if any you have with your dads in terms of movies, going to the movies, or a movie that you guys share? Or movies that as fathers you are excited to share with your children? I have a quick pod relevant story to this subject. It was about 20 years ago, and a movie came out that was inescapable. And my dad completely no sold the existence of this movie. One Sunday, it’s raining, we’re out doing errands and this movie has just opened and we stopped by the movie theater and we walk in the box office and the owner is there. My dad says “Hey, I saw you in the paper. Congratulations.” And two for Shrek, and my heart pretty much stopped. So I was wondering if you guys have any memories like that. I love you guys, love the show, love the Discord. Won’t be there next week for Crystal Skull. I’m spending some time with Dom and the gang. But maybe I’ll be up early Friday to let Slim know what he gets wrong, my eyes are you buddy, I’m watching you. Thanks guys, take care!

[voicemail ends]

SLIM What movie memory jumps out at you Jonesy? And what’s a movie so eager to share?

JONESY The first Jurassic Park, you know, my father took me and my mother to that movie. Big deal for us to go out. First time we had ever heard of movie and surround sound. And the part where the Raptors are hunting the Raptor keepers in the rain, and the Raptor jumps and the whole theater pounded. My dad grabbed my wrist like it was made of tissue paper. [Danny & Proto laugh] It scared the living S outta him. I was like, oh, hell, man. And I will just always remember that moment for the rest of my life. We’d never seen anything like that before. And we were both 12 years old. Talking about that movie, is one of my best memories is that.

DANNY Jonesy, my answer is the exact same as yours. Mine was Jurassic Park as well. I remember seeing the, like a clipping in the paper and I begged my dad to take me. My mom was saying no, there’s no way you’ll survive it. And she was right. But I begged him and begged him, he got sick and tired of me asking to go. He took me just the two of us and I was terrified. I was up and down to the bathroom peeing. I just made the excuse I had to pee just to leave the theater because I was so scared of this movie.

He was so frustrated. He was like, “do you want to leave?” I’m like, “no, Dad, I don’t want to leave.” He’s like, I remember him keep asking “Do you want to just leave?” I’m like, “No, I don’t want to leave!” But I kept getting up and going back.

JONESY Gotta be brave for dad, I get it.

DANNY I had to. But yeah, Jurassic Park was the same for me too.

JONESY I love you, Danny. Let’s never let go.

DANNY Love you too beb. [Danny laughs]

SLIM Sean is really killing it with the photoshops. Can I just give just a brief prop to Seantana?

JONESY What is his salary? Is that transparent somewhere? Where do you pay him for this? [Slim laughs]

DANNY Does he not know I’ve already done this photo? [Slim laughs] This is Sean version. Thought your ear was gonna be your thumb for a second, I zoomed in on it. It’s not. [Proto laughs]

SLIM Proto, what about you?

PROTO Oh, man, I can’t think of a specific story. But uh, you know, every, every now and then I pull out, I’ve got a container. It’s one of my prized possessions. It’s like, it’s just like a little like, foldable like paper bag. That’s really tiny, maybe like four inches tall. But all I have in it is my movie stubs from like, every movie, I went to the theater with my dad.

JONESY That’s cool!

PROTO So I always like, whenever I come across it, I pull it out. And I just like look at all the different movies we saw. And it has the dates and the times and like some of them I can vividly remember it’s like, oh, we went with my sister or my mom and my brother, you know this one. And it’s so, it’s amazing how, you know, you can like recall memories with specific movies. Like I can’t think of any right now. But I could probably remember 20 of them if I pulled that out. But I love that that’s like my, my, my prized possession from like that experience with my dad.

SLIM Mmm! Yeah, my dad was big time movie buff growing up. But for whatever reason, when I was younger, you know, you don’t realize the value in connecting with your dad about certain things that you both love. So I didn’t really talk to my dad about movies until I was way older. And I was, you know, I did a previous podcast called Faves where I interviewed people about one of their favorite things, and I you know, watched it or read it ahead of time. So I had my dad on that show a few times. So we talked about two of his favorite movies, two or three of his favorite movies. And those are very fond memories that I have as an adult connecting to my dad, you know, fortunate enough to have that happen. And several people reached out to me about like, you know, so great that you have this kind of conversation with your dad that you can listen to, you know, as you get older, as your son can listen to this conversation. And that’s something that probably won’t really hit me until way later. But now, James literally goes to sleep every night listening to the Faves episode of me and my wife that was focused on parenthood and marriage. He listens to it every night before bed, which cracks me up but so I don’t have any kind of like crazy ideas to like watch movies with James. I just kind of at this point, I wait [clears throat] I’m not crying, just have something in my throat. [Danny & Proto laugh] I’m just waiting for him to kind of like, bring up a movie just because we’ve tried in the past with other movies and it just wasn’t the right time. So he actually did ask me he’s like “You heard about this Luca movie? What does Luca come out?” So YouTube does it again, I think and probably showed him an ad for that movie. So I was like, oh, okay, we having a family movie night? So we’ll see. But I’m gonna wait until he’s older because I kind of have gone through it already with my own dad that it just you know, sometimes it’s not the right time, but it’ll happen. Great letter. Great voicemail, Kev.

DANNY Love it.

SLIM Thank you. We got another VM in here from Ben.

[voicemail plays]

VOICEMAIL What’s up 70mm boys? It’s nosoulnoproblem. I am calling not to talk about Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade because if it was up to me to talk about it, I could probably make my own full length podcast. However, I wanted to talk about another podcast really quickly. I’m not one for free publicity. But this podcast really should be noted, especially when it pertains to the 70mm community. I’m going to recommend a podcast called The Soundtrack Show hosted by David W. Collins. He breaks down the film scores, breaks down the backgrounds of composers, where they would have gotten influences regarding each individual movie that they score. And he has done a series specifically on Indiana Jones and I cannot recommend this enough. I literally will never watch Indiana Jones the same way after having all of the motifs and themes and little easter eggs that John Williams leaves throughout the movie exposed. So please go watch it. Highly recommend it. The Soundtrack Show. Peace!

[voicemail ends]

SLIM Oh my god.

DANNY Woah. Okay.

SLIM Holy moly. I’m gonna check out that show. Thanks for the VM Ben.

DANNY Sounds good to me.

SLIM Is this the best piece of music ever made? Is it the greatest? I asked you.

DANNY I’m not disagreeing with you.

SLIM Thank you. I’ll take that as a win. Final VM in. Dear friend of the show. Last minute VM.

[voicemail plays]

VOICEMAIL What’s up 70mm, hey, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna direct my remarks tonight to your wonderful guest host Mr. Jonesy Loves Beer.

JONESY Hello.

VOICEMAIL America’s hardest working Dad, I call him. Hey, Jonesy, it’s your pal Art here, just calling in to say you know what? I believe in you. We’ve all been there. We’ve all reached these professional impasses in our lives where the hurdles too tall, the mountains too steep. But you know what? That’s when we pause, we take a deep breath. We look inward. We dig deep. And we pick a day and we do it, we knock it out. We put in 2007’s Lions for Lambs on the counter by Mr. Robert Redford and we watch it. [Slim & Danny & Jonesy laugh] Because it stars living legend Tom Cruise and boom! Interview With a Podcast Vampire. It’s back baby. You know what’s on the other side of that hideous mountain? A beautiful Tom meadow, sprouting flowers that are the Oblivions of the world. The Valkyries, the Mission Impossible fours, fives, and sixes. I believe in you, buddy. We can do it! Love you Jonesy. I love you guys. Thanks 70mm. Have a great night.

[voicemail ends]

JONESY Wonderful cathARTsis with that voicemail. Are you trying to tell me that it’s been too long, Art? And that I should record Podcast Vampire? Is that what you’re getting at?

SLIM Podcast Vampire is on a very abbreviated schedule. Can someone say when the last episode we did was? I mean, it was a long time ago. It might even be like May of last year for all I know.

PROTO That sounds right.

SLIM Sheesh. The next one is Lions for Lambs. That’s what Art was alluding to. March 12th.

JONESY Thank you, Mel.

PROTO What is this? 2007?

DANNY Is that Meryl Streep?

JONESY So like we’re gonna do it. Like we’re gonna record the podcast guys. It’s not like we’ve ended the show.

SLIM This is, I can reveal this, because she might be going into labor right now but this is one of the few podcasts that Tara also enjoys. Interview With the Podcast Vampire, Ian, former producer this show now disgraced.

JONESY We got to do it for Tara. Tara is a labor right now? You can reveal that?

SLIM We might have to do a labor episode. Immediate emergency labor episode.

JONESY No more 4K boxsets for you, Ian. It’s late night drives in a pharmacy getting wipes and size one diapers because you bought newborn diapers like an idiot! [Slim & Danny laugh]

SLIM We did it. Last Crusade. Jonesy’s triumphant return to podcasting. Jonesy, thank you so much for being here. I say this without any type of arrogance, but I don’t think we would be here doing 70mm without you and my friendship over the years.

JONESY Stop it. You know that I can’t give nor can I receive compliments. So, I’ll just say thank you. And the three of you know how I feel about you. And I love you. And I’ll be happy to help you whenever I can. If you’d like me to come back.

SLIM Next week, allegedly there’s another Indiana Jones movie that was made.

JONESY False.

SLIM We’re gonna cover it. We’re gonna dig into this conspiracy theory. Proto, can you take us away?

DANNY Dig in deep.

PROTO Oh, I had a song come to me. I just wanted to test it out, first lyric. [Proto sings like an angel] When the chest holds upppp. That’s as far as I’ve gotten so far, but I’m working on it. [Danny laughs] It’s a ballad to Indy. [Proto again sings like an angel] When the chest holds upppp.

JONESY Can you reveal your guest host for this next episode?

SLIM We do not have a guest host lined —

JONESY Shocker. Nobody wanted to come on and do Crystal Skull? [Slim & Danny & Jonesy laugh]

PROTO [Proto can’t stop singing like an angel] You feel something inside youuu.

SLIM We’ll see everybody next week for the fourth Indiana Jones movie The Kingdom of Crystal Skull.

[70mm theme song ramps up, plays alone, fades out]

SLIM 70mm is a production featuring original artwork provided by Danny Haas. Spiritual guidance and VGER, the robot who loves movies created by Protolexus. Producer emeritus Dale_a. Prints and other merch are available on . This episode was mixed, edited and produced by me, Slim. You can support our Patreon for access to the VHS Village Discord to talk movies with new friends, access to exclusive episodes, discounts on merch, and a physical membership card mailed to you. To check out other podcasts, find the link in the episode notes. And if you’d like to support our friends at and upgrade to Pro or Patron status, you can do so with a 20% off discount using the links at . Goodbye!

A podcast for film lovers, inspired by Letterboxd.

A podcast for film lovers, inspired by Letterboxd.