Transcript: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2010)
Transcript of 70mm’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2010) Episode.
SLIM Hey, it’s your old pal Slim. And this is 70mm, a podcast for film lovers. Every Monday I’m joined by famous artists Danny Haas.
DANNY Like… why?
SLIM And spiritual advisor, Protolexus.
PROTO You know, it’s like a nod and a wink at like the audience that like yeah, this couldn’t really happened. But with this scene, it feels like he just like dropped his pants and mooned us.
SLIM And together as friends forever, we discuss recently watched movies. Later in this episode, the rumors are true. We’re covering Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Is it better than people say? Or is that the worst thing to ever happen to Indy? Let’s find out… together.
[70mm theme song ramps up, plays alone, fades out]
SLIM I’ve been getting DMs about what we’re going to do for July. What’s the plan for July? I’ve been getting messages. July Independence Day. You know, it’s where we celebrate our freedom from the evil British. In 1776. [Danny laughs] We signed the papers in Philadelphia.
SLIM We thought why not celebrate our freedom? With a sort of Freedom Month, a freedom from a theme. We get to pick our own movie.
DANNY We did it.
SLIM Any movie we want to talk about, we’re no longer tied to any sort of restriction. Proto, what do you think?
PROTO I’m very excited. This is what I wanted all along. And we’re finally going to have it for one month only. [Slim laughs] I’ll take what I can get.
DANNY Feels good.
SLIM Danny, how much thought have you given to a pic for July? Any movie you want to do, it’s on the table.
DANNY If I’m being honest, I’ve had my pick since March for July.
DANNY Mhm. No. Maybe. When was Leading Ladies Month? May.
SLIM So we have a Leading Ladies movie coming for you in July?
DANNY Who can say?
SLIM And not only that, but next week, this is a special, gust for patrons, but we’ll be recording our Hercules episode.
DANNY Yeah, baby.
SLIM That is a patron exclusive episode, that will be happening next Thursday. Ahead of our Proto’s first pick for the month of July. Very excited. Also welcome Eden to our VHS Village this week who joined. You can join at four bucks a month. Patreon.com/70mm. Get access to the VHS Village and uncut episodes. Danny, did you watch any movies this week?
DANNY I did actually! I watched two. Jumped into Disney’s newest, Pixar’s newest, Luca.
DANNY Watched it Friday. At some point.
SLIM Did you log this? I didn’t see this.
DANNY Oh, it was a log job, baby. It’s up there. Gave it four stars.
DANNY Absolutely adorable. Love this movie. Super cute. Had a great time, the kids loved it. Looking forward to the next.
SLIM Ty in chat says better than Wall-E. I have my finger on the button to band Ty.
DANNY Mhm, we can ban him.
SLIM Right now.
PROTO He’s right.
SLIM Don’t dare me. What’s your rating for Wall-E, Proto?
PROTO I don’t have one. [Slim & Danny laughs]
DANNY And then after —
DANNY No, you go ahead. Sorry.
SLIM If, if I can speak.
DANNY No, I had the floor, but you can go.
SLIM Just briefly, I liked Luca as well.
DANNY Oh, did you?
SLIM I was a little nervous to start off. It felt like a little direct-to-video-ish. But it definitely warmed up for me. I also gave four stars.
DANNY Look at us. Proto, did you watch it?
PROTO I did. It was the one movie I watched this week. Yeah, I loved it as well. It was, It was great. It’s it’s great to see Pixar finally branching out and trying something new. [Danny laughs] So I’m happy. Look forward to watching it again.
DANNY After our conversation last week talking about River Phoenix and Harrison I watched the Mosquito Coast with Harrison Ford and Helen Mirren is in it? She’s great. I gave it four stars. It’s a wild, wild movie. I think in my Letterboxd review I said oh Swiss Family Robinson except the father’s a psycho. Because Harrison is absolutely crazy in this film. It’s shot really cool. They it’s about an inventor who is sick of America and he yanks his family out of America moves them to Belize, and just literally starts a life from the ground up, in the jungle. So it’s a wild ride. And Harrison I think does a great job. I do think it’s probably I mean, no one’s, I have not even heard about this until watching the backmatter on the Indiana Jones desks and hearing him talk about working with River. So I don’t know why people don’t talk about this. I think he’s probably one of his best roles that I’ve seen him in.
PROTO I find, I find no pleasure in doing this. But I have to thank Danny for watching this. Because this movie, I have a story about this movie. I had seen this movie like 15 years ago, and this movie has haunted my memory. [Danny laughs] Since then, because this, I remembered watching this, but I had no idea what it was called. And I had no idea who the main actor was. I had no idea while watching it that it was Harrison Ford because he is so bizarre in this movie.
DANNY That’s amazing.
PROTO And it was also kind of you know, it was foggy in my memory. But every now and then I would think of this movie. And I would try, I would search for it. You know “guy living in jungle movie” [Danny laughs] like that’s what I was searching Google, trying to find this movie and I could never find it. But it just stayed with me and it haunted me. So I just have to thank Danny for bringing it back to my attention and solving this mystery that’s been with me for over a decade.
DANNY You’re welcome.
SLIM It reminds me, Proto saying that, how it brought in no pleasure to thank Danny. I remember I made that Spotify playlist of an episode, episodes where Proto called Danny an idiot. [Danny & Slim laugh] What episode was that? I think it was the one Haitch was on, wasn’t it?
SLIM Coen Brothers movie? Did you start any movies that you haven’t finished yet that you want to reveal to us? [Proto laughs]
PROTO I did start a movie! But you know, we’ll save that for next week. I need, I need some ammunition.
DANNY Matt, what did you watch?
SLIM What did I watch? I had a lot of grand plans for this month. And I don’t think I got to really any of them. I really wanted to make time to watch, I have a few lists that I liked on Letterboxd for LGBTQ themed films that I still have on my watchlist. And I think we kind of said this before that you shouldn’t only kind of make the effort just because it’s that theme month. So I’ll talk about it next week. But the main movie I want to watch is A Fantastic Woman. I saw this on several Letterboxd list which stars a transgender lead. “Marine his life is turned into turmoil following the death of a partner mourning the loss of the man she loves, she finds herself under intense scrutiny from those with no regard for privacy.” So next week, I’ll talk about that movie, but I just kind of want to bring that up because we didn’t really have the spotlight for that theme this month. So I just want to bring it up. But —
PROTO You watched Jack Nicholson movie that was on my watchlist.
SLIM Oooh yes!
PROTO I’m curious what you thought of that.
SLIM Yes. The Pledge. Jack Nicholson, I got an email from our dear friends at HBO Max that this was added. And this was a movie that I remember seeing on the shelves of West Coast just like grizzled older Jack Nicholson on the cover and he was a cop or something. And I was like that’s a weird looking movie, but it was directed by Sean Penn. And I finally put it on while I was working. It starts out with Jack Nicholson retiring from being a detective. They give him this like big going away party, but they discover a young child has been murdered. And he doesn’t want to kind of like hand over the case. He goes to the murder scene with Aaron Eckhart is like this young detective that’s kind of taking his place, Two Face.
SLIM And he doesn’t want to give it up and he actually has to go tell the parents that the daughter has been killed and the mother he’s like this devout Christian and she makes him essentially like swear on the Bible that you promise you will find the killer and he like does it. Like against all odds he literally tells her it’s like yes, I promise all find the killer. And Benicio del Toro is also in this. The cast is incredible in this movie. Halfway through the movie. I was like thinking of what I would review for this movie and I literally wrote down “is Sean Penn a genius?” I’m baffled by this movie. So the back, something happens in the movie that kind of flips your perception about what’s happening. I really enjoyed it, gave it three and a half stars. Mainly, I’m kind of teetering on four still. The ending was very interesting and I was not expecting it but there’s just a lot of, there’s a lot of nothing burger. Lot of Jack nothing burger. Kind of trying to live a retired life but then also trying to solve a murder. I recommend checking it out for sure.
DANNY Speaking of Jack nothing burger. He is also in Broadcast News.
SLIM How’s he look?
DANNY He looks great. He looks great.
SLIM ‘Course he does.
DANNY Not grizzled, but.
SLIM I mentioned how I was thinking of my Letterboxd review. But every week we give away a free year of Letterboxd Pro to friends of the show that share the most recent episode on social media and tag us and this week’s winner is Nathan @New_3 on Twitter, you win a free year, Letterboxd Pro, congratulations. Gets rid of ads, lets you search to see if the movies on Tubi or not. So you know how to rent it and give money to a big corporation. Support creators. If you wanted 20% off Letterboxd Pro or Patron status, you can do so at any time using the link on 70mmpod.com. Is it time? [Indiana Jones theme song fades in while Danny hums it] This is the moment. This is our moment.
PROTO It’s here.
SLIM Last week we talked about a rumored fourth movie for Indiana Junes. And it’s actually real. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. 2008. Spielberg came back. Harrison came back. They made another one. Proto, are you ready to inform the people that this movie is real and we’re about to talk about it?
PROTO I am ready to inform them and I just wanna let everybody know I took Jonesy’s words to heart last week. Jonesy Loves Beer was on the show. He did the summary for us. And I was inspired by his extemporaneous delivery. And I felt that maybe I should, maybe I should heed his words, knowing his level of experience. And so a little different for me, but yeah, our movie Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. This is Indiana Jones in 1957. So sometime after the Last Crusade, and we are in, I think it’s Nevada. We’re in the desert, the American desert. And there is a convoy, US convoy heading towards a discreet location. But it’s not actually Americans. It’s the Soviet Russians, up to no good, in our country. If you’re an American. They start killing people. And they are there with the most effective weapon that United States government has. That’s right. Henry Jones Jr. He is pulled from the back of a trunk, thrown on the floor. And he’s told to find an artifact that he would know the place of in this warehouse, in a warehouse 51. You may have heard of it. So he, he goes on the hunt for this. He has his own way of finding it. He locates it and it’s highly magnetic. It seems other worldly perhaps. And he goes to make his move, but his friend Mac is there and we find out that Mac is a double agent. He turns on Dr. Jones, but you know that’s not going to stop him. Indiana Jones is able to escape after finding the artifact. He escapes. Then he comes, he’s wandering through the desert. He comes across a town that is actually a nuclear test site. And our hero, brave, intelligent man that he is he hides within a refrigerator and survives the nuke. The US government picks him up and tells him that they need his help to uncover the mystery of the Crystal Skull. And what these these Russians are up to. They know they’re up to he’s up to no good. So he then goes back to his college and he meets a certain someone… named Mutt. [Danny laughs] Yes, Mutt. New character in the Indiana Jones world and him and Mutt go on an adventure. It takes them to Peru, the Amazon jungle, fighting the Russians, meeting old friends doing some fantastic grave grave robbering. Grave robbering? They do that and then they find the last city of Akator and help a lone someone get back home after many, many years. And that’s the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
[Indiana Jones theme music ramps up, plays alone, fades out]
SLIM I will forever rue the day that Jonesy gave that suggestion. At reading that synopsis off the cuff, I will rue it. Forever.
DANNY I feel rude.
PROTO Thank you Jonesy.
SLIM The buzz around this movie is electric, from our VHS Village, that the negative vibes around Crystal Skull, they just permeate. There’s a permeation around this film, even our beloved podcast Godfather, Matthew Buchanan from Letterboxd, he doesn’t even consider this part of the franchise.
DANNY I feel sick.
SLIM “It’s a trilogy and nothing else.” Paraphrasing, I don’t know if he actually said that. But something to that effect.
DANNY With an accent.
SLIM With that said, do you guys remember seeing this in theaters? I think I remember seeing this in theaters. I remember there being you know, some excitement, that this movie was coming out. Danny, do you feel the same way?
DANNY Yeah, of course. I remember being super excited. There was a shot that they had like a still, that they released of Harrison kind of just chilling in the garb and they had the get up. And it was just like, oh, damn, it’s happening. And then I remember seeing in theaters and then I know on the onset, I was disappointed. And then, I don’t, I didn’t see it for years. For a long time. Until more recently, again, because I was in the same boat of not caring for a bit. But yeah, I remember seeing in theaters.
SLIM Read these two comments. They’re blowing my mind right now. Guavajuice in chat right now “one star and it’s for the fridge.” Ty “my mom made me and my brother leave before it ended because she hated it so much.” That is a powerful emotion to leave the theatre.
PROTO That explains a lot. [Slim laughs]
DANNY She bought three tickets to a movie.
SLIM That’s at least $30 that you’re just putting down the crapper.
DANNY That’s a lot of money.
SLIM Proto, what about you? Do you remember this in theaters? Did you experience it?
PROTO I want to say I did see it but I have no memory of seeing it in the theater. So maybe I didn’t? I don’t know? What year did it come out? Does anyone know?
SLIM 2008, not that long ago.
PROTO Oooh 2008. 2008 was a rough year for me. So I might have missed, I might have skipped this one.
DANNY Interesting. [Danny laughs]
SLIM I did see this in theaters. I think I also had the same reaction that Danny had of a sort of disappointment. And but I kind of want to approach this from a, you know, fresh lens.
DANNY I like it.
SLIM Similar to how we kind of approached Justice League, the Zack Snyder cut. And similar to how I rewashed Man of Steel recently, you know, I kind of went through that universe giving everything a second chance. Except for Batman vs. Superman. I still don’t like it that much. But the idea that there will be a new installment in the Indiana Jones franchise in the 50s. And it potentially involves aliens. Is this the greatest idea in the history of film?
DANNY Mmm! On paper, yeah.
SLIM Point blank. I think I remember reading, I might have been reading like aintitcoolnews.com back then. And Frank Darabont had I think allegedly read the scrip.
DANNY My gosh, these names.
SLIM Frank Darabont, pre-Walking Dead, Frank Darabont. And he had written kind of like a draft that involved aliens in Roswell. And I remember reading this ahead of time, like, oh my god, I hope this happens. This is amazing. I can’t believe this could actually be real. So sitting down at the onset of this film, some of my notes, I actually still felt that excitement. You know, when sitting down to watch this movie, they kind of redo the Ark of the Covenant — or Temple of — what was the first one? [Slim laughs] Raiders of the Lost Ark. I’ve said these words and phrases so often in the last 30 days, they’re all just jumbling together. But they do the same thing. They kind of like a redo that shot of him in class. And you have this exciting stunt scene before that, where they go to where they, where the top men stored everything. What a great idea. Let’s go back to where everything is stored at the end of Raiders of Lost Ark. And have them uncover you know, an alien, in storage, I was still excited. You know, starting this movie. Proto, how did you feel kind of sitting down and getting back into the world of Indy again this month?
PROTO Yeah, I love the idea as well. Aliens and Indiana Jones is perfect. It’s kind of it feels a little out of left field because I guess I wouldn’t have thought of it. Like on my own. Put It makes sense for the character and for the world. Like, why not, you know, get him involved with aliens, you know, it’s just another you know, another aspect of you know, like paranormal, supernatural, that we all love that’s fun to explore and has like a lot of history and just like is grounded in our culture that just fits so well with his story. So yeah, from that perspective, when I heard about it, I was on board with it. I’ll say, like, I like the idea. I’m not turned off by it at all. [Slim laughs]
SLIM I love that as like a pullquote. “I’m not turned off by the idea of this movie” Proto of 70mm.
PROTO You can put that in social media if you want. [Danny & Slim laugh]
SLIM Danny what is on your list for this viewing of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?
DANNY I mean, a lot. But let’s, let’s talk about the beginning. When we first get to area 51 and we meet Spalko and Cate Blanchett. And that accent that she’s trying to pull off.
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull plays]
SPALKO There may be hundreds of skulls that Akator. Whoever finds them will control the greatest natural force the world has ever known. Power over the mind of men.
INDY Careful. You might get exactly what you wish for.
SPALKO I usually do.
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull ends]
DANNY And I honestly really don’t like her in this film. Like I dislike her a lot actually. She grates on me. And it’s, it’s really from the get go. And I try so hard to love her in this film. And I think she, I think out of all — well besides a Mac. Mac may be the worst character in any Indiana Jones film ever.
SLIM That’s a fact. Fact.
DANNY I really don’t like Cate in this movie. It drives me nuts how much I don’t like her.
SLIM Wow. Was not expecting to hear that.
DANNY I know. I wanted to lead the show with this.
SLIM Thank you for your bravery.
DANNY Before I started with all my praise for this film. [Slim laughs]
PROTO I think that, I think for me I don’t think she fits into the the existing bad guy expectations. Like the bad guys are more straight and the other you know movies, but she is so like colorful and cartoonish. And just kind of ridiculous that it doesn’t, it feels out of place. At least when you compare it to the other movies to me.
SLIM Even Temple of Doom. I mean, those those characters were kind of outlandish to at a certain point in the movie. They’re pulling hearts out of people.
SLIM No? [Slim & Danny laugh] I was wait for a rebuttal and it didn’t come. I will say, let me say this about Cate.
DANNY Say it.
SLIM She was I think a semifinalist in the scandalous Leading Ladies vote bracket, which we won’t get into, very dark time for our show. I loved Cate in this movie.
SLIM I really enjoyed her accent. I actually saw some of our VHS Village commenting on her bad accent. I kind of really liked it. I don’t know. Initially when I first saw this, I was pissed that it wasn’t Nazis like the, you know the Soviets.
DANNY We know how much you love Nazis.
SLIM I love seeing Nazis obliterated and murdered on film. And I didn’t get that this movie. But I you know, you obviously, me growing up. I don’t give a crap about the Russians. I don’t have a vested interest in Indiana Jones beating up the Soviets. You know what I mean? Like, I don’t have a built in hatred of that group of people. You know, just because they’re, they’re tall, and they have an accent. And you know, I don’t who you are.
DANNY And sword fight.
SLIM And swordfight.
DANNY They’re rapiers.
SLIM Yes, but I did enjoy Cate and enjoyed her throughout the entire movie.
DANNY I always laugh at that line when Indy says something about her wobble-us.
SLIM That’s a weird line. [Danny laughs]
DANNY That makes me laugh so hard. It’s funny.
SLIM The one thing I couldn’t get past, they’re in the storage location — Soph in chat says “Slim is a commie.”
DANNY We know.
SLIM How many people can I ban tonight in chat? I will ban everyone. It’ll be silence. [Danny laughs] In the storage location. She needs Indiana Jones to find the alien that he helped like dissect undercover. And he says it’s extremely magnetic. So he asked for the gunpowder and he throws in the air and it pulls to the thing that’s storing this alien. That is the biggest pile of crap I’ve ever heard. Is there nothing else made of metal in this entire storage facility? It would just be the center of the building and everything would be connected to this casket, right?!
PROTO You’re right.
DANNY I don’t know how magnets work. So.
PROTO You’re right.
SLIM It doesn’t make any sense!
PROTO What my bigger gripe with this is that you have a warehouse of some of the most important artifacts, you know, property that the US government owns. And they have no catalog, no indexing or serializing of anything. [Danny laughs] It’s all just thrown in a giant warehouse. They have the Ark of the Covenant. In a box. No one knows where it is. It could be any of these boxes, but it’s in there. Like are you kidding me?
SLIM It’s true. It defies logic and you get to see the Ark in a cute little cameo, that thing collapsing out of a box.
SLIM Poor little guy. [Slim laughs]
DANNY It’s really funny though that you — they put an alien body that’s being preserved in a wooden crate in a warehouse like that doesn’t that doesn’t compute with me at all.
SLIM I mean, I it does sort of make sense where area 51 allegedly doesn’t exist. So if this location, no one knows where it is. No one knows how to get there. You might as well just start throwing shit in there.
PROTO It’d be 120 degrees in that warehouse. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM I just couldn’t get past the magnets. I couldn’t get past the magnets. And I couldn’t get past Mac. I thought he was a chode.
DANNY Ugh, my god.
SLIM He was so annoying. Indy, why would you be friends with this loser? And I know he’s a double agent who’s going to turn bad so that’s kind of why he was annoying. But still, let’s get someone else in that role.
PROTO I mean, sorry to correct you. But he’s a quadruple agent, please. [Slim laughs]
DANNY He’s a triple chode. But what ensues, that chase in there, I feel like is top tier. I really do love that scene. When Indy’s driving. And Mac’s like “You don’t know him. You don’t know him?” like he’s about to play chicken and he jumps out. That scene is so cool. And when they bust through the wall, like when they’re rip, like it’s it’s a really good chase scene in that in that warehouse.
SLIM I actually think there are a lot of great chase scenes in this movie. That one being one of them. I had a lot of fun. I felt like the magic was there. Him overshooting the like the whip scene. Yeah, to kind of like allude to him being a little bit older than we last saw him. I thought that was great stuff. A lot of fun.
PROTO All of his bones breaking. [Slim & Danny laugh] You can hear his bones break as he lands in that truck.
SLIM You know, we were busting each other’s chops in Discord. Or it was in our DMs because it was about his age because he got allegedly injured while filming Indiana Jones 5, he like hurt his shoulder He’s 78 years old. Like this is almost like my dad filming an Indiana Jones movie. My dad like goes for a walk once a day. If he had to do a whip stunt, he would turn into dust. [Danny & Slim laugh] He would be annihilated doing any of these stunts. So it just cracks me up. He looks great for 78 though.
PROTO Well, just to continue with that. So I was, I was feeling great when this started, like when Indy comes out of the trunk of the car. And you see him, you know, he’s in his outfit. He’s got his hat. And my first two notes, I said, I need Harrison in Indy movies as long as possible. I don’t care if they have to de-age, what they have to do. And I know, it made me so hyped for Indy 5 in that moment. I was like, this is great. But I will say that when the scenes, when the stunts started, it felt very much like I’m watching an old man try to be an action hero. Because, like, you know, when you watch Last Crusade or any of the other movies, it looks like a man punching. Like that’s, that’s Harrison Ford throwing a punch. This looks like Harrison Ford, like pretending to throw a punch as best he can. And then sound effects put on over top of it. Like I didn’t really buy what I was seeing on the screen. It just like wasn’t, it just wasn’t believable to me. You know, this older Indiana doing all of this stuff. And yeah, that like, when he lands in the truck in the front like he is dead! [Danny & Slim laugh] The movie is over everyone.
SLIM The death of Indiana Jones.
DANNY The credits start rolling. [Slim & Proto & Danny laugh]
SLIM Yeah, when I first saw this in theaters, I honestly was not prepared for the sound effects and stuff to still be in the movie. So I think when I first saw it in theaters, and he started punching and the noises were there, I was like, whoa, this is weird. I wasn’t ready for this. Like I maybe my first viewing I was kind of ready for a modernized version. And I think even Spielberg says, I can’t remember where I read this, but it was difficult for him to kind of go back to how he would have directed an Indiana Jones movie, like 20 years previous, because that’s what he did. He’s like, I don’t really direct movies this way. But he went back and kind of tried to do you know, himself, from you know, decades before which I thought was interesting to hear.
DANNY Yeah, I’m going to continue real quick with another gripe because it hits me in the onset of this film. And it really has to do with the fact that Douglas Slocum doesn’t, isn’t alive anymore, and he couldn’t — the cinematographer for this film. This film is way too shiny, like pretty shiny, bright. It just it doesn’t strike me as an Indy film. I mean, we have, there’s I even read a thing where Spielberg was to the point where he was telling the people doing the matte painting set add visible brushstrokes, so that it looked like it was still a matte painting to match the older films. But they’re just, this film just was too pretty too shiny, too good looking and not gritty. And like, all three Indy films have a have this grit to them. They looked dirty, like no one looked dirty in this film. Like everyone, all of the clothes looked perfectly cleaned the whole movie!
PROTO That’s a great point, yeah.
DANNY It was wild to me! So that’s a big like, you know, I noticed it right away. Like it’s, there’s just something way too shiny about this film. And it’s definitely missing the original cinematographer, which obviously he passed. So but it’s just, it’s a bummer because they just could not match what they were doing with those three films.
SLIM Now, he is introduced, maybe we should just get right into, let’s keep it going.
DANNY The nuke?
SLIM Mutt.Oh, no, we skipped over the nuke. You’re right.
DANNY Let’s just, let’s get rid of the nuke real quick too.
SLIM Rid of the nuke real quick. I like that scene a lot.
DANNY I kind of do too.
SLIMI know that it kind of became a meme when this movie came out that he survived a nuclear blast in a fridge and walked out of it. You know? Have you seen the other movies? Yeah, have you seen what happens in those movies?
DANNY I mean, maybe it’s a little bit over the top with it being thrown through the air and bouncing 100 times because he should come out of puddle of nothing after all that.
PROTO Credits roll, he’s dead. [Danny & Slim laugh]
SLIM Second likely death in this movie.
DANNY First fifteen in this movie, should be dead. If there’s anything you watch on the making ofs though, watch the miniature town that they build and destroy for those shots and it’s so cool. Like it’s a really cool thing what they do.
SLIM I think my main comment about what could have improved this movie, enough with the CGI. Anyone who is in charge of doing, making the decisions regarding should this scene be CGI, the answer always should have been no. You can’t do a practical fridge across you know like a desert or any any like that twisting. What is what the animals that were CGI?
DANNY Those gophers!
SLIM Who’s genius idea was that?
DANNY Too many gophers.
SLIM Those are probably my biggest pet peeve, most scenes that were in CGI. I was like, we should have cut this out. George, can we make some decisions here? Can you make an executive decision to cut these out?
SLIM Mutt, Shia LaBeouf, presumed successor to the franchise. From this point on. I’m just gonna say right off the bat. I’m not gonna beat around the bush. I had a lot, a lot of fun watching this. This time around.
SLIM I was very much in the Indiana Jones mindset this month obviously. I had a lot of fun. I liked Mutt, I liked Shia LaBeouf in this. I liked his relationship with Indiana Jones and I liked the family relationship between him and Marion. What did you think of Mutt for this viewing Danny?
DANNY For this, I mean, I don’t remember not liking much to begin with. I think, I think Shia is was is actually kind of giving it his all in this film. There’s some really good performances with kind of bad storytelling. But I think Shia does a really good job as Mutt. Whether I want Mutt to be in this film or not, is a different story. But I think Shia is great. I mean, coming through on the I mean, that motorcycle scene is super rad.
SLIM That’s stunts! Those stunts with them on the motorcycle are very cool.
PROTO Yeah that’s a great scene.
DANNY If you watch some of the making ofs, Shia is driving that bike with Harrison on the back, like who approved that?
SLIM Another potential death for Indiana.
DANNY I mean, that’s such a terrible idea, but man, it looked great. I do like Mutt. I do like Mutt.
PROTO I’m okay with Shia. With a character of Mutt, I think at best I’m lukewarm. Um, and at worst I’m pretty annoyed and don’t like — I think because I think overall to me it’s more distracting than it is helpful to an Indiana Jones story. Like I want more Indiana Jones. I don’t want his greaser son who is just has annoying lines and is ready to fly off the handles at any point. The scene that really pissed me off is when they are with the Russians. And Indy is like about the solve the mystery on the map like he’s putting it all together. And then Mutt decides to like flip a table and to break them out of there. It’s like, like India’s having this moment where he’s like dumping knowledge on you and you’re like yes, Indy! Go. Go. This is great! He’s solving it all and then Mutt just, you know, blows it all up. And it turns into a chase scene. And I was like this guy, again.
DANNY I think I definitely agree. I think one of the my downfalls with Mutt is I don’t like him as a greaser. Because I think that whole vibe is already annoying, even if it’s not in this film. So I find, he’s just an off putting character. I wish, because it doesn’t feel — I mean, I guess at the time, that’s what, I mean, he’d either be that or a jock. But he’s a son of Marion. So it’s like, it doesn’t just, it just it feels weird. Like, I feel like he’d be more more of like, Indy as a person than not.
PROTO Yeah, what if the character was like River Phoenix’s character in the Last Crusade, but they still had like a bad relationship where he didn’t listen to Indy at all and kind of like flew off the handles but right he was more like his dad then the complete opposite that is just not appealing.
DANNY Where the roles are like reversed where in Harrison is now the Connery character and Mutt would be the Indy to his Ford.
SLIM And they had those scenes too. There was a couple scenes where it mirrored Crusade where Mutt was pleased with himself and Indy was not nonplussed. I thought that those were pretty fun.
DANNY Yeah, they have some good moments together for sure.
SLIM I mean, there’s a lot of “what are you like 80?” when they’re going on, they even poke fun at him being called a grave robber, which I thought was fun. Him defending what he was doing, which is like literally what we were saying a couple episodes ago, and I guessing was a common theme in from other people seeing these movies. The part time teaching line.
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull plays]
MUTT You’re… a teacher?
INDY Part time.
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull ends]
SLIM That was a lot of fun. I thought. The Crystal Skull itself as the main story. I really enjoyed. I loved the idea of him going on another you know, sort of like hunt for this relic and you get to see him have fun, you know, kind of piecing it together. You see him like smile as he’s like working on it with Mutt. With that said about the alien stuff. My one gripe about how, I kind of mentioned earlier but like the CGI, like when you finally kind of, I’m kind of fast forwarding just to the end for this comment. But when Cate Blanchett follows them they get to where the aliens are hiding, you know, their crystal bodies, their crystal bones and they form up, the alien like starts moving. And the alien comes into full view, in full CGI. I mean, just one of the worst decisions in modern movie history. [Danny laughs] To have the CGI alien on screen and then look at Cate and just moving on screen! No! If you made the decision and Lucas in the editing room, we have to have a CGI alien. Just stop it. Because this is like, almost just derailed the whole thing for me. I was so annoyed. Just keep it off screen. You know, you’re dating the movie. Not everything needs to be CGI. But I think this was just in the world where Spielberg was just going CGI heavy soon after this.
DANNY Yeah, and I had this, so I’ll jump in as well. I have thoughts on the ending as well. That whole room and the skeletons. They look amazing. Like that room is absolutely killer.
SLIM Great set.
DANNY There’s no reason when the six or however many skeletons are forming up that it has to turn into the CG alien. Just let the skeleton come alive.
PROTO Yeah, totally.
DANNY That thing looks so cool! Like just let that thing stand up and do a puppet of it or something.
SLIM Cause it’s eyes light up and that’s it.
DANNY Yeah, like those, they’ve really built, like those are actual props sitting there. They’re not CG and so like, just make a move, like make that thing look at her. I mean, there’s no reason that ugly ass alien needs to be in this movie.
SLIM It’s the worst shot in this entire franchise. [Danny laughs] The alien appearing in full form on screen. I was throwing up.
PROTO Giving that scowl.
DANNY That lean in scowl. Oh my gosh.
DANNY That was stupid. Wow we’re shitting on this film.
SLIM I didn’t mean to fast forward to the end there.
DANNY That’s okay.
SLIM But that jumped forward. Proto, what else you got?
PROTO Well to go back to the grave robbing where they’re, where they’re looking for the skull in in the graves. That’s probably my favorite scene in the movie. I just love the look of that. And of seeing Indy grave robbing in that way, like, mass grave. They’re getting in there. And just even the way, I think they, you know, Oxley, they know he was in Peru. And just the way that Indy is able to find all that it just seems so ridiculous. It’s like he’s like working with like, like, shreds of clues. And somehow he’s like piecing it together to find the Crystal and like he finds it. It’s just like, no way dude, there’s no way based on the information you have [Danny laughs] you’re finding this. But whatever, you know, it’s cool. And like when he gets there, when there’s the you know, the wrapped bodies, and then they cut it open. And then Orionis has that gilded, that amazing mask there. And they pull out the Crystal Skull, that whole, I just love that whole sequence.
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull plays]
INDY No tools. A single piece of seamless quartz cut across the brain. It’s not possible. Even with today’s technology, it would shatter. Crystals are magnetic.
MUTT Here’s gold.
INDY What is this thing?
[clip of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull ends]
PROTO And yeah, they have some good interactions there, the whole Scorpion thing. Where you know, Indy says like with scorpions, the bigger the better. And you just think like, oh, you know, Indy must have been bitten by a scorpion at some point. [Danny laughs] Or stung. But my favorite part, I put this in my review, is where they’re shooting the blow darts at them. And then Indy pops up, and he blows into the blow dart that the guy is holding, and it goes into his mouth and hits him. And all I could think of is like if Indy was a character and Mortal Kombat that would like be his finisher. [Danny laughs] He would just go up and he would like hold up a blow dart to his opponents mouth and then like shoot it into their mouth. But I just love that, it’s so it’s so goofy. But you know, just cartoonish but it fits with the, you know, the stuff in this series.
DANNY You brought up the skull. I absolutely hate how the skull looks. I think it looks like a $5 plastic toy from Walmart. You know? I don’t like the look of it. I like the actual design of it. But could they not have made that thing better? Like actually out of glass or there’s just something that looks like it’s a toy from from Toys R Us or something. And it really bugs me. Every time I see it. Because I like the look of it. The design of it. But man, it looks like a plastic mess that came out of a hot glue gun or something.
SLIM It was hard to see the features of the actual skull. It’s like translucent and you can’t can’t really make anything out.
DANNY There’s like, when it’s on the skeleton, it looks great. And the one shot where they try to use it to mind wipe Indy or whatever they’re doing. And it’s sitting on that table and they do a close up on the face. It’s a great design, but man, I hate the plasticky look of it. It drives me nuts! Absolutely nuts.
PROTO I wonder if it should have been like more clear, like so you can see through more of it. I don’t really mind it. But I see what you’re saying.
DANNY Yeah, I get nitpicky.
SLIM We should talk about the jungle scene where the Soviets have that big machine. They’re kind of plowing through the jungle.
DANNY A lot of highs and a lot of lows in this scene.
SLIM There, there is. For one, I loved the chasing with the vehicles. I love the dueling sword fight in this scene. I thought it was so fun. It didn’t look too CGI-ish. You know, I thought it felt kind of grounded the way they shot it. However, it does have Shia swinging on the vines with the monkeys. This is another, you know, viral meme scene from this movie. And I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it this viewing. [Danny laughs] It was another kind of moment where you know if you’re in the editing room, you know maybe we cut this out? We’ll figure something else out here how he gets back on that car. What did you think Proto?
PROTO I think the whole chase scenes idiotic, personally. [Danny laughs] I completely checked out with it. Them swordfighting and “Mom! Mom!” What? Like, first of all, the truck that with the chainsaws on the front is cool. I like that. But the fact that like they’re clearing this path, and then there’s like, there’s there’s just roads in the jungle that they can drive down, you know, for these cars to go down. But even you know, in the other movies, there’s stuff that’s kind of ridiculous. But to me this just like jumps the shark where it’s, where like Spielberg with the action, you know, it’s like a nod and a wink at like the audience that like, yeah, this kind of really happened. But with this scene, it feels like he just like dropped his pants and mooned us. [Slim & Danny laugh] Like it’s just different level of ridiculous that I just did not buy and really like, that whole scene, I just kind of like checked out of the movie. It’s just not, not for me.
DANNY I am with you, Matt. I enjoy the back and forth with the cars. I like how it’s like they’re about to fall off, but they get to a car fast enough that they fall into the next car. It’s just, I like that level of silliness. I don’t understand who was okay with this Tarzan scene. Also like when they’re driving, and he gets wrapped up in that vine and Indy just looks back and keeps driving! Like, why? Stop the car, let Mutt climb back down and then just drive again. You just gonna let them hang in the jungle? Like, what are you doing?
SLIM They also have a weird scene where he lands back in the car, and they like acknowledge each other where they just sort of nod. [Danny laughs] I mean, was that the best take of that? You couldn’t come up with a sentence that they could have used? To acknowledge each other that they’re both alive?
PROTO Yeah, Indy was expecting that he would catch up, you know, through the vines. He saw the vines. He just assumed you could swing.
DANNY Has any man ever swung 65 miles an hour through a jungle to catch up to a car?
PROTO Mutt Jones.
DANNY Before this though, before this, they’re in the back of the there’s a there’s a weird edit a bit that I think they mess up in the editing. When they’re tied up, the three of them and they’re having the argument and Mutt tosses him his switchblade. And Indy opens it and it makes a noise.
DANNY Like he either stabs himself or something.
DANNY And then nothing comes of it. Both of them look at each other. And that’s like, oh, I cut myself. Like what was that?
SLIM You’re, you’re so right. I noticed that too. It felt like, I don’t even, it doesn’t make any sense!
DANNY Like oh, he stabbed himself but I don’t remember his stabbing himself.
PROTO His eyes are like having more like, oh, I made a mistake.
DANNY It’s the weirdest thing!
SLIM Yeah, they never reference it.
DANNY And he just cuts himself out and just tosses him the the Switchblade. It was so baffling!
SLIM Lattdaddy says “I thought it fell out of the truck in that moment.” Anything could have happened in that moment. They never followed up on it.
PROTO Unless that’s some kind of nod to Sean Connery dropping the lighter in Last Crusade, but that feels like a stretch.
DANNY I mean, maybe. Super stretch.
SLIM I did, I mean in this chase scene, it goes hard like the Indiana Jones family travels like the Karen Allen, Mutt and Indy. I really liked their repartee in these scenes, like I thought this was a fun addition, having them go back and forth. I thought Karen Allen was great in this movie. I can’t remember if they, was she part of the marketing for the movie or she like a surprise? I can’t remember.
DANNY No she was, I’m pretty sure she was in the trailer.
SLIM But I thought that was a lot of fun. I thought their relationship was fun. I just found my note “did he cut himself or what?”
DANNY Can we talk about the ants for a second? That ant scene. So the ant scene stresses me out because I had an incident as a kid. [Danny laughs]
SLIM Excuse me?
DANNY And so I was like seven or eight, playing at a place and I rolled down into a giant anthill. And my body was covered in ants to the point where a bit me so much that my heart stopped.
SLIM What?! [Slim laughs]
DANNY And I was luckily across from — wow, this is, I cannot believe he made this Photoshop, that is triggering. So they rushed me across the street to like a centre care and they had to like defibrillate me. And for a while I had to carry and like an epi type pen for whenever I got hit by an ant, because I’d have to like do a shot again if I ever got bit. That’s how bad it got me. So this scene stresses me out when I watch it. Because I remember, I only remember a click bits of it. And I remember looking down on my body thinking I am covered in ants. [Danny laughs] And then I blacked out. So this scene really gets to me. It’s really funny.
SLIM Proto, did you ever have ants stop your heart? [Danny laughs]
PROTO No, never had that happen. And that scene, I get it, every one of these movies has, you know, a pest of some kind, ants or snakes, rats, insects and this one, it’s ants. But yeah, the the level of CGI. them carrying the dude’s body into the ant hole. And yeah, it’s it’s a little, it’s a little too much for me. Oh, I thought that at the end, you know, Cate’s character she is really the true explorer in this you know, she’s the true adventurer. And she’s the one who’s willing to risk it all for the knowledge and you know, I just wanted, I just want to call that out. I have mad respect that she was willing to put it all on the line. In that moment.
SLIM That’s a good point.
DANNY Very good point.
SLIM She would do anything to get the information, the knowledge, psychic powers that she had. God bless her.
PROTO Oh, and I love that scene with the skull and like her whole explanation of why they’re doing this, like the whole like mind control. I think that fits so well with like the you know, Soviet Russia angle and just as like what their overall goal you know, nefarious plans are with this and sitting it down in front of Indy. I love that. I thought that was a great angle to the story.
SLIM Same. Danny, what else you got? Before we get into closing thoughts?
DANNY I think my biggest gripe for this film outside of Cate is the fact that, is on the lines of Proto’s thoughts on Harrison and there’s just nothing at stake in this film where I’m actually like, not like worried about someone but like Connery gets shot and like there’s like something big at stake at the end of Last Crusade. With this film, it just kind of like ends, like there’s nothing, there’s no real like big climax, three challenges drinking the, Grail like there’s no, there’s none of that for this film. And it just, this film just was kind of just like level ground. And I know on Letterboxd for me after watching, like back to back, I had it at four stars. I think I’m bringing it down.
DANNY I just I got kind of bummed. I mean, this whole month, diving headfirst into Indiana Jones and, and kind of enjoying 4Ks and the backmatter on all the discs and the making ofs, I get to this film finally and I’m just kind of, I think I’m a little bit let down. And I don’t know why. Maybe because I’ve just enjoyed having the conversation with the Discord and with us and and what this film should have been. And I think I get frustrated, I got a little frustrated today. And it just came down to the day that I was like changing my mind. And I think I’m bringing it down to three and a half stars, from four.
SLIM Holy smokes.
DANNY So it just, I get a little bummed thinking about this film. Because on the paper, there’s so many great ideas. The aliens, the Russians, Karen Allen’s character. Mutt is still a good idea. Like, there’s a lot of great ideas. It was just, for the team that was putting this together, it was poorly, just poorly done. And it kind of, it just, I’m a little bummed.
SLIM The screenwriter that was responsible I think for the heavy lifting of this movie is David Koepp who wrote, you know, Spider-Man, Panic Room, Snake Eyes. He’s got some bangers in here. Mission Impossible. Carlito’s Way.
DANNY You know who wrote one of the first scripts for this? M Night.
SLIM Heard about that.
SLIM Didn’t he say he like left because he couldn’t really deal with Lucas and Spielberg? [Slim laughs] With that said about David Koepp, this era is a turning point. I mean, right before this he did War of the Worlds and Zathura.
DANNY Oh my gosh.
SLIM He did Indiana Jones, then he did Angels and Demons. And he did a Jack Ryan movie that I’ve never heard of. Inferno. Tom Cruise’s The Mummy.
SLIM So he’s, I think something changed.
DANNY Oh my gosh.
SLIM Proto, what are your final thoughts and rating for this movie?
PROTO Final thoughts, I really, really enjoyed this movie up, pretty much up until the scene where they’re in the quicksand where the whole them being a family kicks off and then just really everything after that, the stunts after that portion I just didn’t really like/ I really think it, collectively it’s the worst hour of all the Indiana Jones movies easily. Yeah, and just like it’s missing some of the Indy magic. Like instead of having you know, trials or something at stake or some other kind of you know, important scene where Indy has to overcome something you know, with his knowledge at the end, it felt like it was replaced with like, how many times did they get to a point and then the Russians were there with guns? I think that happened like four times in this movie. We said it earlier but Mac is a quadruple agent, like this character is so stupid. But I you know, I there’s parts that I enjoy in parts that I love you know, I love Indy, so it’s hard not to like it and have a good time. I you know, I did have a good time watching it. So I give it three stars.
SLIM I have said some divisive things this month for Indiana June’s, most notably Willie. But I had, despite all the negative things I said about this movie, I felt like I was still having a great time watching this. The paranormal aspects of this. Indiana, you know, finding that he has his son interacting with Marion and Mutt together. The aliens, I had a lot of fun. I was kind of shocked for the most part that I was still just enjoying it, despite its many flaws. So I’m four stars.
DANNY Love it.
SLIM I’m going up on this viewing!
SLIM From my last three and a half review. For whatever reason, I just, I was grinning like a moron watching this movie. I could change the next time I watch it. But for this viewing, four stars.
DANNY I love you.
SLIM Love you too. Willie, if you’re out there, this was for you. I missed a voicemail last week. Just gonna apologize right off the bat.
DANNY Did you?
SLIM I said we had two voicemails from Kevs and I only played one of them. So I’m going to get to that right now. You can leave us a voicemail at 70mmpod.com. Or you can write us a letter. We enjoy those as well. But let’s listen to the VM we got last week.
VOICEMAIL Hey there, guys. It’s, it’s Kevin. So I just wanted to call in. Just watching the Indiana Jones. And I noticed something that I’m hoping you guys discuss. But just in case, I’m gonna bring it up. So they’re in the library. They see X marks the spot in the middle of the floor. He goes to the top, sees it, he looks down, X marks the spot. He grabs the pole thing, he starts banging the floor. They zoom out, boom, the X is completely gone. There’s no x on the floor anymore. Anyways, it’s a little bit of a movie goof moment. We need to discuss this.
SLIM Kevin, you’re talking about movie goofs, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Wait until you get to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. [Danny & Slim laugh] I actually remember that exact thought when I was watching it as a kid. It’s like they just caught out him wiping all the white away from the X. Do you remember that Danny?
DANNY Yes. And I’m pretty sure it’s because they filmed it in the actual place. And then they destroyed not in the actual place. So the X wasn’t where they were actually destroying the ground. So I think the goof is they just didn’t put a replica X on the ground where they were at. But it is a little bit noticeable.
SLIM I don’t know what they’re doing over that Indiana Jones franchise. Tell you what. We did get some letters this week. So I’m gonna pull up my letter machine here. Boo-beep-boo-beep. There’s a word in this email that I’m not reciting. There’s, you know, there’s some —
DANNY Excuse me?
SLIM There’s a phrase in our Discord or VHS village, a nickname that’s been attributed to me that, I won’t stand for it. I won’t say it out loud on the show. If you want to hear that word you can you can jump in the Discord. But Sean emails in. “Hey, blank. It’s your son, Seantana. Wanted to thank you all for this month of Indiana Junes. My wife had never seen past the first 10 minutes of Raiders so I was excited for her to join this journey. Although she has a knack for falling asleep watching movies. So now she’s seen about 80% of each one. But that’s definitely progress. Aside from everyone’s thoughts on Crystal Skull, I think the biggest question I have is how are you guys feeling about Indy 5? Based on the trend of the previous two films, Indy 5 should take place 51 years prior to its release year of 2021, which would be 1971. Just for some context in 1971, the President was Richard Nixon. Popular movies were Dirty Harry, A Clockwork Orange, The French Connection and only cost $1.50 to go to. Tupac Shakur, Mariah Carey and Elon Musk were all born this year. Most importantly, Walt Disney World opened in Orlando. Can you dig it? What’s the excitement level and any thoughts on a plot or title? With love, Sontana.”
DANNY I feel sick.
SLIM Proto, what’s your vibe for Indy 5?
PROTO I’m excited for Indy 5, you know, fresh director, you never know what you might get with something like that. Yeah, I don’t know what they’re gonna do with Harrison. I don’t know what’s, like just thinking like he looked old in Crystal Skull. I mean, he’s only gotten older. So I’m really curious as to how this is going to play out but I’m excited!
DANNY I mean, I have been on record saying I want the same thing Proto does, I want Indy until Harrison’s dead. I wanted him playing Indy forever. I’m very excited about 5. I mean, we got Nazis back apparently. We saw some photos. Mads Mikkelsen is in it. I mean, I love him. Phoebe Waller. Are you kidding me? I mean, how could you not be excited about this film?
PROTO Yeah, if it’s like, yeah if it’s like some hidden Nazi sect in the 70s, the you know some occult, you kidding me? Let’s get into it.
DANNY Oh, Proto! I meant to tell you. I don’t know if you watched any of the making ofs for this. But they go into the prop makers and they were talking about the stuff that they did for the crates. They made, I don’t know why I thought of you, you’re my Moses. I guess. They made a replica Moses staff from the 10 Commandments from the film to put in one of the crates that gets broken open next to the Ark but it was actually cut from one of the scenes. But as if Indy also, I mean, there is a story that Indy finds the staff of Moses, but uh, anyway, it made me think of you because it shows Charlton Heston in the making of.
SLIM That would be an awesome.
DANNY I am, I’m excited about 5. Matt, are you excited?
SLIM Yeah. If it’s Sophie and Indy for the movie, like, sign me up big time. I mean, I don’t know how I feel about any potential de-aging happening. He does. He is old. I mean, I thought he was old when I saw Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I actually on this viewing, I thought he looked pretty great, considering, now he’s 78. So that could just be that I’ve seen older Harrison Ford since then. So we’ll see. Who knows. Final letter this week comes from Marcie. Subject line: Friends Forever. “Hello. I’m currently at Disney and that’s actually all thanks to Danny who helped me out with planning my trip. He saved my vacation and summer. I just really wanted to take a moment to say the 70mm podcast is more than just an amazing show. All three hosts and the entire Discord community are absolutely incredible. And I feel like I have made friends for life. Thanks everyone, for always being so kinda funny and amazing. If you’re listening and still deciding if you want to join the shenanigans, I cannot recommend it enough. The show, the Discord and the people have changed my life. Love you all. Marcie.”
DANNY Love you Marcie.
SLIM Marcie, right back at ya.
PROTO Thanks Marcie.
SLIM Marcie’s asleep right now at Disney. She passed out while we’re recording this episode.
DANNY Gonna go knock on her door real quick. [Slim laughs]
SLIM Danny’s about a chunk of frisbee out his window. [Danny laughs] And it’s gonna hit the hotel window where they’re staying. Thank you so much, Marcie. Very nice email, very kind.
PROTO Should we, I thought we were gonna, I thought we were going to talk about recasting Indy.
DANNY Ohhh, yes.
SLIM Oh that’s right.
DANNY That was my question. If we will get to the point, I think where Indy continues, like James Bond does over the years. At least that’s my dream. Who would the two of you cast as Indiana? From here on? I posed this question earlier in the week so you guys could think about it. You want me to go first?
DANNY For me, and I think this has to do with what I’ve recently seen him in. I would want it to be Oscar Isaac.
DANNY I think he would be super rad. I think it’s because of his outfit in whatever that last Star Wars movie was called.
SLIM Nobody know.
DANNY I just think Oscar would, I love Oscar anyway, and almost everything I’ve ever seen him in. But I think he’d be really cool as like a, you know, an adventurer, solving the puzzles. I mean, he, I think he’d be great. That would be my choice to move forward for sure.
SLIM That’s probably the pick. I mean, I don’t think, it doesn’t even matter where my pick was about to be but that’s an amazing pack.
DANNY Like, look at him right there in that gif. You kidding me? Throw a fedora on him! My god!
PROTO Yeah, I think he could pull it off. Ah, man, I couldn’t, I was trying to think about this. I don’t love my pick, but the only, the only name that keeps coming back to me just because he is a, he’s proven to be like an action star. He has the look, I think he could pull it off is Henry Cavill.
DANNY Oh my.
PROTO I think him is Indiana Jones, that jaw.
PROTO Jacked. I think he’s got, you know, he’s getting to the point, I like Indiana Jones, as you know, like, I don’t want them in his 20s or 30s. Like, you know, 40s is like where Indiana Jones is like the sweet spot and I don’t know how old Henry Cavill is, but I’m assuming he’s like late 30s. He’s getting there. That I think you’d be, you know, I think he could pull it off.
SLIM He’d rip his shirt the first five minutes of every movie. He used the whip and you’d just hear his shirt tear.
DANNY Beefiana Jones.
SLIM Beefy. Jonesy in chat, our guest from last week, confirms this is the pick. You know, when we did Solo: A Star Wars Story, I wanted Alden to do the Disney+ series for Han Solo. Let’s bring him back.
DANNY Alden as Indy, interesting.
SLIM Indiana Jones Adventures.
DANNY He’s pretty goofy. He has that kind of goofiness. Scoundrel, I guess that can work.
SLIM Why not?
DANNY Good pick.
SLIM Alden, come home, to Disney+. Take care of this Loki business that we have to put up with. You know, bring us something real. There’s a lot of suggestions in chat. Idris Elba. Idris Elba, he’s dream casted it every role.
DANNY Yeah, let’s move on from Idris.
SLIM We need to focus on next month. Freedom Month. We’re free to make whatever picks we want for the entire month. This is what Proto has been waiting for. This is the moment. We’re not constrained to any kind of theme. This is, Proto alluded to his picking in chat DMs this week, but I have no idea what it could be. Are you ready to give it?
PROTO I am ready. So Freedom Month. This is a movie. You know, Danny mentioned that he’s had his pet since May. I’ve had my pick since January 2020. [Danny laughs] I knew, I knew at some point we were going to do this movie.
DANNY Oh my gosh.
PROTO And I could just talk to Slim producer in this moment, Slim if you just want to, like as I’m as I’m revealing this, if you want to just put some music that’s like a very uplifting, like, jubilant something like, you know, if the moon was like giving birth, there’s just something very, you know, up there. [music starts playing] You know, I knew we were going to cover this movie. I just needed to know when. And that time is now. This is something that none of us have seen. And if I can say just my timing truly is impeccable. Because you would think that maybe like the stars are aligning in some way, this is fate. Maybe some would say destiny, how this is all come about. But you know, everyone knows that we are coming to the end of our Lean journey. And how much better would it be to not only end our Lean journey, but have my pick for that month be done on this show. With that movie being Lawrence of Arabia.
DANNY Oh my gosh.
PROTO So we’re doing it. We’re ending the Lean journey with the big one!
DANNY Look at you.
SLIM This is the biggest of them all. Can you imagine Danny’s art for this movie? Are you kidding me?
PROTO Can’t wait.
SLIM This is in 4K, isn’t it? This is what you were alluding to?
PROTO That’s what I’ve heard.
PROTO I don’t know if you can get a physical copy, but.
SLIM Groogruxdave in chat is pissed. Another four hour movie. 4K hours Megan says. [Danny & Slim laugh] I’ve never seen this movie. This is a movie my dad is always talking about. So I’m excited to finally sit down and watch this. It’s gonna be a long night. Proto, you probably have started watching this, probably back last year.
PROTO Started two weeks ago. [Slim & Danny laugh]
SLIM Ty “finally a Proto pic I can stand behind.”
SLIM God, what a month. We’re kicking it off. Celebrating our independence.
DANNY Are you after him? Are you the next pick?
SLIM I picked Contact before Alien. So I think you’re next.
DANNY Oh, good. I’ll really bring it down. Bring it down a notch. [Danny & Slim laugh]
SLIM Alright, that’s it.
DANNY This is exciting.
SLIM We’re finally done with Indiana. We don’t have to talk about him ever again. We released a bonus episode for Young Indiana Jones, by all means listen to that. The one time Harrison appeared. And next week, Lawrence of Arabia. Let’s see, you can rent that on Amazon. You can rent it on VUDU, you can get the 4K on Amazon and elsewhere. So the digital 4K edition is available. Proto, closing thoughts before we exit Indiana forever?
PROTO We saw Indiana Jones get the Ark of the Covenant. Those rocks from Temple of Doom. It’s what they’re called.
PROTO Yeah, Christ Chalice, the Holy Grail. And we saw him return a Crystal Skull to beings from another world, another dimension. What a month that we had. I mean, we’re just going to keep going higher now. And I can’t wait to be in Arabia next week. [Slim laughs]
SLIM We’ll see everybody next week for all six hours of Lawrence of Arabia from David Lean.
[70mm theme song ramps up, fades out]
SLIM 70mm is a TAPEDECK production featuring original artwork provided by Danny Haas. Spiritual guidance and VGER, the robot who loves movies created by Protolexus. Producer emeritus Dale_a. Prints and other merch are available on 70mmpod.com. This episode was mixed, edited and produced by me, Slim. You can support our Patreon for access to the VHS Village Discord to talk movies with new friends, access to exclusive episodes, discounts on merch, and a physical membership card mailed to you. To check out other TAPEDECK podcasts, find the link in the episode notes. And if you’d like to support our friends at Letterboxd and upgrade to Pro or Patron status, you can do so with a 20% off discount using the links at 70mmpod.com. Goodbye!