Transcript: Batman Forever (1995)

Transcript of 70mm’s Batman Forever (1995) episode.

SLIM Hey, it’s your old pal Slim! And this is a Patreon exclusive episode of 70mm, a podcast for film lovers. Every Monday I’m joined by famous artist Danny Haas.

DANNY [clip of Danny laughing]

SLIM And spiritual advisor Protolexus.

PROTO Why? Why is — why is — why do they have Chris O’Donnell as Robin in this? I get, like he’s a name. But he’s also… he’s 25. So why is this guy an orphan? Like why does it matter?

SLIM And together as friends and film lovers forever, we discuss recently watched movies. This episode, we decided to go back to our Patreon roots, and continue what started it all. The Batman Journey. This time, Batman Forever. Streaming right now on HBO Max. As always, thank you for your support. Enjoy!

[theme music plays alone, ends]

SLIM The rumors are true. We’ve decided to continue the Batman Journey that we started many episodes ago. I did — I crunched some numbers. I got my Abacus out earlier.

DANNY Oh!

SLIM Since we recorded our last Patreon exclusive episode, we’ve had 30 new patrons sign up.

DANNY That’s a lot.

SLIM And you could say since we did our last Batman episode for Patreon, we’ve had 100 plus new patrons. Since that was our first episode, I think on Patreon. Gotta crunch the numbers.

PROTO Wow. When was that? Do we have a date on that?

SLIM August…

DANNY August!

PROTO Wow, it’s been awhile!

SLIM That was our launch episode, remember? We launched it with an exclusive episode.

DANNY Mmmph.

PROTO Woo! Good thing we did this. [Danny & Slim laugh] We’re overdue for Batman.

SLIM Those are some of my favorite episodes, mainly due to Proto’s snide remarks about Michael Keaton. How do you feel going into this without Michael Keaton involved anymore?

PROTO Honestly, it feels amazing to be past him. [Danny laughs] I was just so happy that I wouldn’t have to see him again.

SLIM Can you imagine Michael Keaton in this? Another wo — ugh.

DANNY No.

SLIM No?! Mmm. We need to get into it right now. We need to get into Batman Forever. Joel Schumacher, Val Kilmer. Proto, on these exclusive episodes usually just flies by the seat of his pants and these descriptions, so let’s get into it.

[Clip of Kiss From A Rose by Seal fades in]

PROTO Yeah, this one is called Batman Forever, which had me confused because you would think the title Batman Forever would be the last Batman. But it’s not. Because there was one that comes two years after this. This could have been Batman and Robin. But this one stars Val Kilmer as Batman as a very.. reserved, thoughtful, concealed Batman. And the villains in this we have Tommy Lee Jones, playing Harvey Dent, aka Two-Face and Jim Carrey, Edward Nygma, aka the Riddler. [Danny laughs] Tommy Lee Jones, I’m not really sure what his deal is in this. I guess he’s just trying to make some money? [Danny & Slim laugh] And kill people? That was his whole plan in this?

SLIM I can’t tell if you’re talking about the actor or Two-Face?

PROTO Two-Face! He’s just wheeling around, every time he shows up. He’s just like — well, he’s stealing stuff or he’s killing people. I guess that’s what villains do. So you know, Batman’s on his trail. And then Bruce Wayne, he’s in you know, he’s checking out the digs over at Wayne — what is it called Wayne…indus —

SLIM Tower?

PROTO Wayne…what is it incorporated? What does he have over there? What kind of business?

SLIM He’s in all sorts of businesses. I don’t know the official name.

DANNY Enterprise.

SLIM It could be Wayne Enterprise or Wayne Industries?

PROTO Yeah, so he’s over at the r&d lab. And Edward Nygma is there and he’s got this invention where he can manipulate brainwaves. And it involves TV. You know, TV is real big in the 90s. We’re all about the TV. So you know, Nygma wants to shoot brain waves with TV. [Danny laughs] [Proto laughs] What?! What are you guys laughing at? [Danny can’t stop laughing] So, but, Bruce isn’t having it because he thinks that crosses the line. You know, we’re not looking at anybody’s you know, minds. So Edward goes off on his own and is going to start his own company and do this and becomes the Riddler. Then he teams up with Two-Face and they just start tooling around doing bad stuff. Meanwhile, Chase Meridian is on the case.

DANNY Mmmph!

PROTO She sees that something’s up with this Bruce Wayne character and also something up with this Batman character. She is interested in Bruce Wayne psyche, she is interested in… [Danny laughs] in Batman’s body. [Proto laughs] If I may say. She wants in!

SLIM Possibly the horniest woman ever on screen in the history of film.

PROTO What is with these Batman movies and just being super horny? And then we also have Dick Grayson shows up, he makes an appearance. And he gets to team up with Batman and they they duke it out. They beat the bad guys, they stopped them from doing their thing. And all as well for another day in Gotham City.

DANNY Phewf. Thank you.

SLIM One of your shortest descriptions of a film that I can remember for Patreon episodes. I looked at my Letterboxd, I’ve watched this twice in 2020.

DANNY What are you doing?

SLIM And the second time I proclaimed that I had a feeling the next time I watched this, it’s gonna be a four star movie. The last time I watched it was three and a half stars. Danny, when do you think the last time you saw this movie was?

DANNY Ohhh man. The last time would have been high school.

SLIM Really?!

DANNY Yeah, I haven’t seen this. It’s been forever. I mean, the only one that I ever go back and watch is either Returns or Batman. I don’t really watch Forever. Or Batman and Robin for that matter. Ever. I mean, I think I may have only seen Batman and Robin one or two times. But this one, well the thing about this one was, this was almost like my Batman growing up. It hit me at the perfect time, age. The summer blockbuster for this film was next level. I mean, that like marketing campaign is like singed into my brain. The Burger King glasses.

SLIM The bat logo. The blue-ish —

DANNY Ohhh my gosh. I had so many of these toys. The VHS was always on repeat. I mean this one I think I watched the most when I was younger for sure.

SLIM Mmm. Proto, is this the first viewing?

PROTO No, I’ve seen this before, but it’s been a long time. I can’t really tell you when it was. Early 2000s I guess? And caught snippets of it on cable here and there of course. Yeah.

SLIM We should talk about Val Kilmer. First and foremost. You said it, reserved Bruce. I…love Val Kilmer as Batman and Bruce Wayne. I adored his performances Bruce in this. He looks great in the suit. Hands down.

DANNY He looks great in the suit. Oh my gosh.

SLIM He’s got a body for Batman. Proto, what did you think?

PROTO Yeah, I thought he was great! I thought all the scenes where he was Bruce Wayne really worked, even his jokes. I love like that deadpan delivery on everything. To me it worked. And the thing that I felt the most while watching this was this felt like, most like the Adam West Batman, of all things. Like the way he delivered his jokes. And then of course the Robin stuff that was in it, but then even the Riddler and Two-Face, just it gave me such Adam West vibes. You know, that version of Batman almost, you know, brought to the you know, modern era, you know, the 90s and I thought Kilmer was great in the way that he played him.

SLIM Yeah. In one of my reviews, I kind of referenced how it’s fun to have like different directors come in and just give their own versions of the franchise and you’re sort of seeing that with DC and their extended cinematic movies. Like they’re just doing whatever the hell they want. Like they have two different Batman’s floating around. Looking back now, I think I enjoyed it when I was a kid. But looking back now I really enjoyed the kind of camp and the music in this especially. Just amping up the music in the fight scenes just sounds so wacky and fun. And just so freeing almost. So it was sort of a progression from Batman Returns to this. Batman Returns amped it up a little bit.

DANNY Batman Returns amped it up, but it felt dark, like it felt like it meant to be dark. This felt complete 180, like this is — I mean the budget alone for black lights in this film had been astronomical. [Slim laughs] Everything was lit up in color. And it was just funny. Like I found myself laughing at this so much. Like genuinely laughing at bits. Especially, I mean Jim Carrey is next — I mean he is peak Jim Carrey.

SLIM As the Riddler, oh my God!

DANNY I mean could you have picked anyone else to play the Riddler at this time?

SLIM I’d put this up there with like Heath Ledger as Joker casting. Jim Carrey as Riddler?

DANNY Yeah, it’s genius.

SLIM Off the charts, imo.

PROTO Yeah, yeah I agree. He’s fantastic.

DANNY But then, I don’t know what Tommy Lee Jones was doing, except cashing a check. I mean, the thing is, it’s so bad that it’s amazing to watch. I can’t get over how bad he is in this but I’m just like, every time like, ‘Yes! This is this is perfect because it’s so bad.’

SLIM He is… terrible.

DANNY So bad! [Danny & Proto laugh]

SLIM It’s catastrophically bad. Every time he’s on screen, I wanted to claw my eyes out. It was so annoying.

PROTO Oh wow!

SLIM I can’t take it.

PROTO Really?! Wow. Maybe I like just the, like the way he plays him but — and again like the whole Adam West thing. It feels like an Adam West villain the way he plays Two-Face where it’s just yeah, it’s over the top. It’s campy. My favorite, probably my favorite scene in this is when Riddler goes to Two-Face’s hideout, his layer with Sugar & Spice there.

[clip from Batman Forever plays]

RIDDLER “I simply love what you’ve done with this place! Heavy metal meets House & Garden. Beautiful. It’s so dark! And gothic! Just disgustingly decadent! Yet so bright and chipper and… conservative. [Riddler whistles] It’s so…you! And yet so…YOU!

[clip from Batman Forever ends]

PROTO And they’re talking. And that whole interaction with them. Just the way they come to terms with each other. I just love it. Yeah, Tommy Lee Jones, what a weird casting for this. But I think with the makeup and his face. And just the way he gives it 110%, for me it works!

DANNY I mean don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t want to change for anything. It’s perfect for this film. Like absolutely perfect. His makeup. It’s so gross. Like it’s, if you look close at it, it’s nasty. The vein that lights up with the blacklight. Give me a break.

SLIM Gross. Gross. I think historically too, those two hated each other. Or at least Tommy Lee Jones hated Jim Carrey on set.

DANNY Really?!

SLIM Yeah, there’s apparently some quotes online of how he was just so —

DANNY Because they’re very close in this film.

SLIM He was was so annoyed with just being on set with him.

DANNY I mean, can you imagine though?

SLIM I don’t know.

DANNY Jim Carrey kind of ad libbing some of those scenes.

SLIM Like, most of — yeah, how many takes probably the you have to sit through Jim Carrey doing on those jokes? But the ones they use in the film were amazing! But I have to just call out, I grabbed the 4K Dolby Vision edition of this movie. And I honest to God was blown away by how this looked. It looked gorgeous. There was a recent restoration. So even the 1080p version is going to look amazing. But the colors in this movie, not just the colors but the city backgrounds. I don’t know if they were like matte paintings.

DANNY No!

SLIM But in Chase Meridian’s apartment, there is just this blue, black backdrop of the city. And there’s so many of those scenes like leading up to the circus that blew me away. It was like, it just reminded me of like Star Wars matte paintings. I was like, this is some legit stuff. I don’t know if anyone’s ever called out before, that I’ve seen.

DANNY I watched an interview with John Dykstra and he talked about how they couldn’t physically do what they did with returns. They couldn’t make the mattes. And they couldn’t do the model and the building of the city, so it’s all CG. Like this is impressive CG for then. So like all the shots coming through the city and any long big takes I mean, it’s all CG.

SLIM Oh, yeah, I did definitely notice those. I don’t even remember those scenes growing up, like the long moving shots of the cityscape. But even I’m talking about like, in a room and you can see the backdrop of like Chase Meridian’s, you’re saying that’s CG?!

DANNY I mean he’s said they didn’t do any matte painting, so.

SLIM Maybe that was just like a full on set they built. Because it was stunning stuff.

DANNY Yeah, it could’ve been. Maybe they were on location somewhere.

SLIM The editing of this movie is just gorgeous. The restoration work that they did is legit af. the Batmobile in this one. What do you think of the Batmobile on this one?

DANNY It’s…it’s the worst. [Slim laughs]

PROTO It’s terrible.

DANNY It’s absolutely terrible. It’s like, it’s futuristic and then they put headlights on it like a RC car.

SLIM How do you even drive it? There’s like a stick, that you like move like you’re in a jet plane? But is that the gas? I don’t even know understand.

DANNY Yeah, that’s like the jet engine throttle.

PROTO It also has a 14 foot wing off the back!

DANNY And it wobbles so much! [Danny laughs]

PROTO It’s not going to get any clearance! That won’t be going under any bridges.

SLIM He goes — he goes up a building at one point in the Batmobile and gets away from Tommy Lee Jones’ cronies. So Tommy’s just like chillin, he’s like angry. He’s looking up this other building like “Ahh!” [Danny laughs] Where does Batman go?! Does he like slowly repel down when Tommy Lee Jones runs away, and he’s like, “Okay, I’m safe now. I can go back down the building.” [Slim & Danny laugh] There’s no way he gets out of that, except for just going backwards down the building.

PROTO I mean, there’s two terrible things in this film. It’s the Batmobile and it’s Dick Grayson’s earring.

SLIM I would argue that his laundry scene is worse than his earring. [Proto laughs] The action scene of him doing laundry in front of Alfred?

DANNY Oh my gosh.

SLIM Do you do laundry like that, Proto?

PROTO I mean, when things — when you’re editing this movie, how does that scene stay in? [Danny laughs] Like it does nothing for what’s going on. [Slim laughs] Also, why? Why is — why is — why do they have Chris O’Donnell as Robin in this? I get, like he’s a name. But he’s also…he’s 25. So why is this guy an orphan? Like why does it matter? Like why is he getting adopted find Bruce Wayne?

DANNY Oh, I see what you’re saying.

PROTO If he was 15 or 12 or something that would make sense, but he’s so old at this point. It’s so stupid.

DANNY Get a job, Chris!

PROTO Yeah! Just go get a job!

SLIM Did they say he was 25 in the movie?

PROTO He looks 25!

SLIM Yeah, I know he does work 25. He’s fresh off of —

DANNY Let’s hear it.

SLIM I’m looking at his filmography. He did Scent of a Woman, The Three Musketeers, Mad Love with Drew Barrymore. And then Batman Forever.

DANNY How about Drew Barrymore being in this? I forgot about that.

SLIM Yeah, I forgot about that.

DANNY I completely forgot. And then I caught Jon Favreau! He’s one — he’s just an extra in this.

PROTO Oh, wow.

DANNY The scene where Bruce first meets Enygma walking through the r&d department. If you look over versus right, or Bruce’s left shoulder, on our right, it’s Favreau. Skinny ass Favreau walking down the hallway!

PROTO Oh, wow.

DANNY It was insane! I’m like, oh, is he gonna — I forgot like maybe he has a character bit part and I missed it. That’s it. That’s all he is in this film. [Slim laughs]

SLIM Well, there was like some lame whispers that there’s a bunch of deleted scenes that were never put in a version of this. So I wonder, there’s like apparently some stuff with like the bat that they shot.

DANNY Oh the man bat!

SLIM And his background with like feeling to blame or whatever.

DANNY You can find those photos. I’ve seen the photos of him standing next to the giant man-sized bat.

SLIM The other, you mentioned the antennae on the Batwing. Any scene where they’re showing Batman running against like a white backdrop, his ears are flip-flopping around. [Danny & Proto laugh] He couldn’t have put like tubule in there to prevent those ears from wiggling? It was so annoying! How expensive is this costume? They could have just filled that up with some styrofoam or something.

PROTO Yeah, you wonder, of all the important things to overlook, the bat ears. [Slim laughs]

SLIM What’s on your list, Proto, that we haven’t talked about yet?

PROTO Well, you talked about the CGI earlier. I was really impressed with a lot of these scenes. You know with a movie, this all — what I thought I would have been cringing at some of it. But I was really impressed. The thing that impressed me the most is the scene where Batman jumps off the Ritz.

DANNY Yes!

PROTO At the end and he goes down into the tube.

SLIM That looked good.

DANNY That looked so good!

PROMO That looks amazing! I couldn’t get over that!

DANNY Mhmm.

SLIM This aged very well.

PROTO Yeah!

DANNY It really did, it almost feels like if they might have like done something to this update.

SLIM Like a secret… secret edit? Secret upgrade to some CGI

DANNY I should — I have the VHS. I should slap that in at some point and see what that scene looked like.

SLIM You gotta slap it in.

DANNY Because, I was just — the way the camera like whipped around him. I expected it to be like cringy but it was so flawless and it looks so good! There’s two times that does that with him too. There was another time where he’s falling or jumping down the side of a building and it looked incredible.

SLIM The Batwing is on my list. The first introduction to the Kilmer edition of the Bating in that cave. It’s just hanging upside down like a bat. [Slim laughs]

DANNY So fucking good! I love it.

SLIM And his exit from the cave. It is the most dangerous cave to drive through. I would never want to do that. He would be dead day one trying to navigate that cave. It’s so over the top.

DANNY It’s so over the top.

SLIM What else you got Danny?

DANNY How about the bat nips and ass in this film?

SLIM Oh my God!

DANNY That ass shot? [Proto laughs] Are you kidding me?

SLIM It’s, it’s trembling when it’s strutted around.

DANNY If anything is wobbling in this, it’s Kilmer’s ass.

SLIM Yeah, this was the start of it. I loved that like they went hard on it in Batman and Robin after this. But this was like the first taste and of Joel just getting in there.

PROTO Just a taste.

DANNY And it’s funny because, you know, there’s so many comedy bits that Val does that it almost feels like in place. Like, I get the butt shot but also I’m already laughing enough at this point that it still made me laugh and I’m like, I wasn’t like bothered by it. It just made me laugh even more. It’s like so right on talking about the Adam West stuff because there’s even a line at the end when Robin says like “Holy rust” something —

SLIM Holy rusted metal Batman?

DANNY Holy rusted metal Batman and then Kilmer is like “what?” [Danny laughs] It was like so funny, like he didn’t get it but we’re all like, ah, Adam West. Like it was perfect.

SLIM And I love the suit. Like I actually I think in our Batman Returns episode I said how I didn’t love how he looked in the batsuit but I love this batsuit in Batman Forever. Some of the shots early on. Like he looked so badass and the Cal, in the shadows. Like the start of the movie is him in the Batcave.

DANNY The backlit. And the bright blue light on him! And he has like his lips are perfect in camera like lit up. The Kilmer lips.

SLIM Do we need a Val Kilmer lip —

DANNY Am I?

SLIM Like the Robocop lips.

DANNY We need a lip hat, for Kilmer. [Slim laughs]

SLIM Kilmer’s lips!

DANNY It’s still awkward, it still has that neck cowl that he turns, but like I said, it’s just funny. When he does the thumbs up in the Batplane.

PROTO Oh, yeah, that was amazing.

DANNY I was just like, yes! This is funny as hell. I love it.

PROTO Yeah. You know, this makes me really torn over this type of Batman movie, versus what we’ve been getting recently, like when the Christopher Nolan movies were coming out. I was like, yeah! Give me the dark, gritty, realistic Batman. But I don’t know, maybe it’s just like, time has gone on. I’m getting older. Like, this is like a lot of fun, I’d be really interested to see what they would put together. You know, if they tried to make another Batman like this, you know, or just, I don’t know — just — it’s really cool to have different versions of Batman, in the movies, you know? Where someone, a director who has a vision for it will come together. And you know, just do something really bold. And we’re kind of seeing that now. So the newest one with Robert Pattinson. I mean, it looks like it’s going to be even grittier from what I’ve seen, then, you know, Nolan’s Batman. So, you know, who knows if we’ll ever get something like that. But yeah, this is so much fun. I actually watched it with my kids. I was a little worried. Like I didn’t remember what’s gonna be in this, but they were howlin’! They had a great time. And it’s fun to be able to watch a Batman movie with your kids. You know, my eight and five year old.

SLIM Yeah.

DANNY One of the things I didn’t remember. I guess it just kind of went out in my head was the fact that you could still draw a line through all these movies. Like they’re all connected still. They’re just changing the actor who plays Batman. She makes the reference to Catwoman, him falling in love with her in the previous film, and you still have the Commissioner Gordon. For some reason I thought that this was just like a new Batman. But it really was just a continuation without Keaton.

SLIM Yeah, yeah. Just visually, stylistically, also, like, totally differ.

DANNY When the when the Elfman score kicks in. I’m like, oh, oh, this is still the same storyline. They’ve just done more of the great Batman villains.

SLIM Yeah. When I think when I was a kid when she mentioned like the tight pants or the whip, I was like [Slim in kid voice] “Yeah! She mentioned the last movie!” [Proto & Danny laugh] But Chase Meridian, my God, she was under the bat spell. Immediately. She calls him up to the bat — the Bat Signal in the middle of the night. She’s wearing some kind of like, leather, not leather, but like see through nightgown, nightie? On the top of this roof. And she wants it. She needs it from Batman at that moment. What could have happened — and then further on she invites him, you know, come see me at midnight at my place or whatever. She says to Batman. He shows up!

DANNY He shows up.

PROTO Bruce!

SLIM LIke we can’t gloss over the fact that that scene happens in this movie. Batman shows up! [Danny laughs]

SLIM She is like nude in that bed. That shot of her in bed. Oh my God! It’s like a porno!

PROTO I love that though at the end where she’s like, “I’m sorry I can’t do this. There’s someone else.” and then Kilmer turns around and he just has that stupid smile on his face. It’s so funny!

SLIM Yes! So good. It’s so good! I took a photo of that when I was watching it. Although like we’re releasing this in secret. We haven’t told our patrons, there are so many screenshots, photos of my TV that I wanted to share, that I had to go back and screencap some of them. Let’s see, some of my other list. The Riddler, the laundry scene is terrible. The Riddler, I mean, when he becomes the Riddler, and he’s first wearing the jacket and the tight pants, that design is unreal.

DANNY And that hat!

SLIM And works so well on him!

DANNY The hat, the cane.

SLIM So well.

DANNY I mean he pulled it off so good.

PROTO I was amazed at how dark visually this movie is, like every set is so dark. And now, I’ve never shot a movie before. But to me that seems like really hard to have a movie maybe be that dark, but like look this good. I was just like impressed by the whole presentation of it. And like you’re saying, just all the sets, the locations, Two-Faces, his layer, but then also Edward Nygma’s apartment when it goes in there, like that apartment is so cool! And it has that Flaming Lips song playing. Oh man.

DANNY The music!

PROTO Oh yeah, the music’s great in this.

[clip of Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me by U2 plays]

DANNY I know, we can talk, we can talk U2 for sure.

SLIM Fudge me.

DANNY But then we got the Seal song from this film too! You kidding me?

SLIM The soundtrack is unbelievable. Underrated U2 song by the way, doesn’t get enough props, mainstream.

DANNY When that kicks in in the credits. I was just jamming. Just turned it up louder.

SLIM Your air guitar in your lazy boy when that kicks on.

DANNY Yeah. Ugh. [Slim laughs] The last thing on my list is Riddler’s final look is incredible. I’m not talking when he gets maimed. That white sequined outfit with the, with the domino mask that’s the bedazzled is incredible. Like one of the best looks in all of superhero movies. When he turns around on that throne. I’m like, excuse me. [Proto laughs] I forgot this existed and you look incredible.

[clip of Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me by U2 plays, fades out]

PROTO Are you doing Riddler art for this?

SLIM [Slim in Riddler voice] Batman, you say?

DANNY I mean, he’s — it’s insane. I love Jim in this movie. I’m not a big Jim Carrey fan. He falls into that Adam Sandler kind of goofiness but yes, this is it for me. I love him in this. I love that he put the mole on his face when he was meeting Bruce to try and like one up Bruce at the party. So ridiculous!

SLIM What’s your rating for Batman Forever? I think we’ve gone from one to two…. Until now.

PROTO I don’t think — I didn’t give that — I didn’t give Batman —

SLIM It’s not a garbanzo?

PROTO No, I think I gave that three stars.

SLIM Oh really?

DANNY Three stars for Batman feels like a garbanzo. [Danny & Slim laugh]

PROTO This movie is a ton of fun. I had a great time watching it. It was great to go back after all these years to see it. Three stars. [Slim laughs]

DANNY So good.

SLIM Like I said the restoration, the version that I watched in 4k is gorgeous. The design and everything is off the charts. So I am finally upping to four stars.

DANNY Mmmm!

PROTO Wowww! Yes.

SLIM Yeah, I am completely in love with this movie after multiple viewings of the past year and a half of it.

DANNY Love it. For me, in my heart, it’s a five star movie. I mean, I’m giving it four stars on Letterboxd because that’s truthfully what this film is. But I love this movie so much It’s so fun. Like it’s, it’s great. Four stars for sure.

PROTO I saw on Letterboxd, its average is 2.4!

DANNY So weird, but I don’t think people revisited it. No one revisits this.

SLIM No, we don’t, out of the large amount of people that I follow, barely anyone has watched this recently.

DANNY We’re gonna bring it back.

SLIM And they don’t have ratings.

DANNY We’ll bring it back.

SLIM We need to create a resurgence here.

DANNY Everyone thinks about Keaton. That’s the problem.

SLIM You need to go in with an open mind and an open heart. I mean, once you get done watching BvS Ultimate Cut Dawn of the Superheroes. Check this out. You know? Palate cleanser.

PROTO People might need that after this Snyder Cut.

SLIM After Zack Snyder Justice League Dawn of the…something. I don’t know what.

DANNY After the Snyder cut, watch Batman Forever. It’ll change your life.

SLIM So tentatively, I think this episode will be dropping, you know, in advance of our Justice League episode, really to kind of maybe cheer people up. You know, I don’t think everyone’s really pumped about the Justice League movie rewatch or watch, to the point where they might not even do it. So hopefully you fire up HBO Max and give this a shot and love it. Next movie in the Batman Journey, whenever it is, is Batman and Robin. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

DANNY Alicia Silverstone. Woof! Clooney.

SLIM Clooney.

DANNY You thought Forever was campy?

PROTO Uma!

SLIM That was my other note, I feel so sick that we only got one Kilmer Batman.

DANNY Right?! And Keaton only backed out because he didn’t like the direction the film was going.

SLIM Big mistake. Big freakin’ mistake.

DANNY Big mistake.

SLIM Well, I’m glad we got the three-banger from Proto. Hopefully everyone enjoyed this. Stay tuned for our next Patreon exclusive and thank you as always for your support. We’ll see how many patrons we’ll have for the next Batman episode.

DANNY Mmmph!

SLIM Could be 200. Yeah? We’ll see you next time.

[theme song plays alone, ends]

A podcast for film lovers, inspired by Letterboxd.